The professor complimented us on our great job. I only nodded and gave a fake smile. After letting him say a few words, I returned to my seat and I knew he was following me. I put my head down as soon as I reached my seat. Please go.

"Jaeyan..."

Soori came to the rescue. "Seunghyun, I don't think she's feeling too well. I'll take care of her, don't worry about it."

"I just want to talk to her," he said. Talk about what? How I'm doing? Well if you hadn't noticed, I'm suffering.

"I...I can't talk right...now," I said, my head still faced down. Soori, please stay until he leaves. Then Daesung had to come. No, don't take her away!

"Soori-yah~ are we going now?" he said with this try-hard cute voice. Ugh, he should just stick to being the natural Daesung the clown. I knew that I was just annoyed that he had to come now.

"Uh..." I looked up to see her give me a troubled look. I sighed. "Just go."

She smiled at me then grabbed Daesung's arm. I grabbed my bag and walked by Seunghyun.

"Jaeyan, I want to talk to you. Please just give me some of your time," he pleaded. I shut my eyes, something that I was getting used to doing.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked. "About us? Because there is NO us."

He grabbed my hand before I knew it and turned me around. I had my eyes right on his. It flickered with hope, the kind of hope Youngbae had in his eyes.

"I just want to talk in general. Not about us, not about the problems. Let's talk. Come with me," he said and I was already following him.

`

It was the underground studio. Still the same, except a different feeling in the air. Was it just the tension between us? He walked up to the mic and stared at me.

"Are you still with him?" By him, he could only mean HIM. I didn't understand what had happened either. After that, it became awkward...well more like no communication. But we had an unspoken goodbye. Was it really over? No one had mentioned 'let's break up' or 'it's over'. All that was said was 'I'm sorry'. I didn't answer his question.
But he waited for one.

"I'm here with you now, aren't I?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! I didn't care anymore. Whenever I was with this guy my mind was going crazy. Thank you, Choi Seunghyun. He flashed me a cool smile and the music began.

"My eyes go blind every time you're around
But when you're not by my side I keep searching
My world keeps spinning, round and round
My heart begins to ache, it's hurting
Yet now you're by my side with that sad look upon your face
I try my best, wishing to win this race
And here I am, the one to be by you
I`ll stay like this as long as with I'm you
I'll give you the happiness you need
I won't turn away even in the deepest greed
So I'll be here, I'll take your hand
Let's go far, to another land
And baby you can trust me in every way
So let's not waste a second . . . 
Let's run away."

Then in a blink of an eye, he took off, grabbing my hand in his way, running. My mind was going blank as I went along with the flow of the one who had my hands. I trusted him. And I knew by the throbbing of my heart that it did too. My heart trusted him, wasn't that enough?

`

He had whispered the words in my ear as we waited for the bus that could take us anywhere. He had said, 'Let's run away... somewhere far.' The words were stuck in my head. 'We can be free.' That's what got to me. That was the reason I was here, waiting for Seunghyun to return with some food. The air was getting cooler and he had lent me his thick black sweater. I wondered if he was cold in his shirt that had a few designs on it.

He returned shortly. "Jaeyan-ah, I hope you're okay with ice cream?"

I looked at the chocolate ice cream that I would've drooled for if I wasn't so cold. "Aren't you cold eating ice cream? I mean, you only have a shirt on."

"Do you want me to take this off too?" he joked. I rolled my eyes. I didn't know what I was doing here. I didn't know the reason why I was here in an unfamiliar place with a guy that I wasn't so familiar with. But something about this guy was different. 
"Jaeyan, you don't regret this, right?"

"Hmm?" Was he talking about this running away with him?

"You don't regret taking my hand and holding onto it, right?"

I didn't. And I didn't want to either. I shook my head without saying a word. We sat there in silence, the ice cream that made us colder than before. I looked over at Seunghyun who was shivering a little bit.

"Do you want your sweater back?"

"How about you give me a hug instead?"

I sighed. If it was his sweater that kept me warm, the least I could do is make him warmer with a hug. I opened my arms and hugged me. I never noticed that his arms were so... I didn't even know how to explain it. It's as if I was really secure.

"Choi Seunghyun..."

"Hmm?"

"Are you... warmer?" The real question was 'Are you okay being with me?' But how could I ask that? What if he let go and said that this was all a silly joke? But his warm breath made these worries go away.

"As warm as I could be. But somewhere in my heart, there's a warmer place where you belong."

And I began to cry in his arms. It wasn't me who was keeping him warm but it was me. He must've noticed it some time. I may have felt secure and free while I was with him but during that time, I must have showed some sign that somewhere inside it hurt. I knew that I was the one who made the choice but it hurt. Dong Youngbae... he was someone who loved me so much. And I was the fool that he loved. How was I able to let go of him so easily after those words and promises?

All I could ask of him was all in silence. He probably read it in my mind. I wanted to tell Youngbae. I may have chosen to run away but I knew that I couldn't run forever.

`

I knocked on the door for the second time. Finally, someone opened the door. I smiled at Youngbae's older brother. "I'm here for Youngbae."

He crossed his arms, doubting my words. His face was clearly telling me 'I bet you're not really HERE for Youngbae.' I felt even more guilty. He didn't have to call him since Youngbae was walking towards me with a pale face.

"Jaeyan..." he whispered. My heart ached just looking at him.

"Can I talk to you?" I said. Even if he said no, I had to talk to him.

"Come in," he said, opening the door wider. I stood outside, hesitating. He sighed. "I'll get my jacket."

`

We were walking around a small park when I finally had the courage to say what I had to.

"Dong Youngbae. I don't want to let this silence go on forever." Inside, my heart beat so fast I wasn't sure if it was normal. I was still scared.

"I... you... You realize why I had given you that necklace, don't you?" He didn't give me a reply and just looked at the ground. I hated how he avoided my eyes, as if it will change what I was going to say.

"I... I really am sorry..." I said.

"Don't apologize. It'll make all my efforts go away," he replied, still with his head down. "It'll make everything I worked so hard for crash to the ground. It won't make me be the man I am."

"But—"

"Please," he begged. I could hear his voice shake. My mind was going crazy. This wasn't the first time he had done this. I took a step towards him.

He looked at me in the eyes and I couldn't help but cry. It hurt for me but I can't even imagine how much it must've hurt for him. He wasn't the one leaving ... but the one being left behind.

But once again, I ran away. Even before he could open his mouth to say something else. I've run away.

`
E N D ; O O 8