I looked around, searching for Seunghyun's head which probably towered above the rest. 'Where is he?' I thought, getting worried. He was about an hour late and he hadn't answered any of my calls.

If he had arrived on time, we could have been having fun and riding roller coasters right now. I dialed his number on my phone again and it sent me to his voicemail again. "Choi Seunghyun, where are you?! You better come here soon. You better come."

Even with that angry tone, I knew I was more concerned with where he was now. What if he had gotten into an accident?! I was beginning to panic and this wasn't getting me anywhere. I stood up and began to walk around. Finally, a call from him.

"Hello? Seunghyun, where are you?! Do you know how worried I've been?!" I yelled into the phone.

"I'm sorry," he said. "There's been accident..."

"WHAT?! Are you okay? What happened? Where are you now?!" I asked with a panicked voice. Please, please, let him be safe!

"It's not me. It's my sister. She ran into another car and she's at the hospital right now. I'm sorry, I should've called earlier but..."

"It's okay now. Where are you? I'll come right away."

`

"Seunghyun!" I called while running towards him. "How is she?"

He was looking down with hands clasped together, his finger touching his forehead. He looked up and sighed. "They're operating on her right now. I still have to hear the news."

I sat beside him, trying to comfort him when I saw a familiar looking girl sitting across from Seunghyun's parents. My eyes widened and gasped. "Jiwan?"

Jiwan looked up with tears strolling down her face. "J-Jaeyan?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Of course it was obvious that she was here to visit someone, but this was the emergency room... I feared her answer.

"He was in an accident. Y-Youngbae-oppa... he's badly hurt..." she said with a shaky voice that couldn't conceal her pain and sadness.

My heart began to thump. My eyes were beginning to form tears. I was starting to shake, my sight getting blurry, everything was giving me a headache. Youngbae... in the hospital? Was she kidding with me?! I looked up and saw Youngbae's relatives, his brother, Jiwan's parents... Seunghyun's sister and Youngbae were involved in the accident. I tried to take a deep breath, to try and relax but I wasn't sure how. Youngbae was inside getting operated on, badly hurt, perhaps even...

I felt arms surround me. "Youngbae... he's inside, too..."

He kissed the top of my head and whispered, "It's going to be okay."

I came here to comfort him and tell him those words. I was going to say that his sister would be alright and that he didn't have to worry for too long, that she was strong and she'll make it. But here I was, getting comforted by him. Seunghyun was always strong after all.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered in a coarse voice. He must know what I was trying to say. That I was with him and he had to help keep me strong, and that I was still worried about Youngbae. It wasn't possible to pretend that I didn't give a damn about him. He must have known that even when I ran away, I still liked him. He must know now that in my heart, Youngbae was still there.

The doctor came out with a relieved face. "Who are the relatives of Choi Hye Yoon?" Seunghyun stood up and so did his parents. He walked towards them and told them the results. "The operation was a success. All she needs is rest and it may take time for her to completely heal and recover."

Jiwan stood up. "How about Youngbae?! How is he?!"

He gave a short sigh which made my heart sank. What did that mean? "He is in a worse condition and needs more care. We're doing our very best." With that, he returned to the room and we were left with nothing but worries.

Youngbae... And in a flash, all of our memories together came back. The first time meeting, the first date, the first kiss, the first "I love you" and all those firsts that I got to experience. I was afraid of losing him, but hadn't I lost him already? Ever since I ran away, he no longer belonged to me. But I could care less about what had happened before now, I just wanted him to be safe.

Seunghyun had stayed with me, awaiting for news about Youngbae's condition. The Dong family and I didn't speak, even when it seems clear that they know what has been happening for the last few months that they hadn't seen me. And now they see me with another guy. I needed someone to hold onto. Even when time has passed, I hadn't changed. I was still weak and a coward but it was Park Jaeyan. It was me.

The doctor came out with relieving news. Even though Youngbae's state wasn't as good as Hye Yoon-unni's, he was still able to make it. He wasn't going anywhere and was going to stay here. Jiwan stood up and walked over towards me.

"I think you should go," she said quietly.

I looked up at her with sad eyes. She didn't like me anymore and I couldn't blame her. I slowly nodded and headed back with Seunghyun.

`

I was still worried about Youngbae's condition. It's been a few days since I've been to the hospital last, the day of the accident and I hadn't heard of any news. Would it be wrong for me to stop by? I was on my way home when I passed by a flower shop. I might as well visit him. Hye Yoon-unni was there too. I bought the flowers and headed to the hospital.

"I hope you get better," I said to her.

"Thanks, Jaeyan. I'm really glad you're by Seunghyun's side right now." She smiled faintly, looking tired. I left her so that she could rest and walked over the room just a few steps away. Room 143, the room where Dong Youngbae would be in. I knocked and no one seemed to answer. I opened the door and found Youngbae lying down on the bed, his head rested on his left side and he appeared to be asleep. No one was around.

"Only for a short visit," I whispered to myself. I walked over quietly and laid the blue flowers down by the table beside the bed and looked over at him. "Youngbae..."

I wasn't staring at his perfect features but the way he looked, just so vulnerable and weak. It looked like what my heart would be if it were a person. I wanted to touch his face, tell him many things but before I knew it, I was crying.

"Youngbae..." I could only whisper his name. "I'm sorry..."

I wasn't to blame for his accident but it seemed like the perfect time to say what I wanted to say. No one was around and he was asleep. 
"I'm sorry for not being with you these past few months. I'm sorry for bringing you pain instead of happiness. I'm sorry... I'm not the girl who deserves you."

I looked at his sleeping face and wish that I could kiss it but it would be wrong. "Please get better. Get stronger again and forget a stupid girl like me. Maybe you have already forgotten about me. Maybe you've moved on and don't even want me here... And that you don't love me anymore."

"Jaeyan?" I turned around to see Jiwan standing by the door. "What are you doing here?"

"I just—uh, I just wanted to see how he was. I'll be leaving right away." I hurried to grab my bag from the table and rushed out.

"Please," she said, stopping me at my tracks, "don't come here again. We don't need you here. HE doesn't need you here. You're not a part of his life anymore."

I was holding back my tears. I'm unwanted now but it shouldn't matter anymore. I have Seunghyun... I didn't look back and just left.

The feeling of emptiness was rushing over me, taking over the remaining happiness and turning it into unpleasant feelings. I wanted to leave, go home or call Seunghyun. I looked for my phone and after a few minutes of endless searching, I groaned. , I had left it along with the flowers. I turned back, planning to leave quickly without having to face the tension. I took a deep breath and—

"So I'm right? She's not a part of your life. You don't have to deal with someone who left you," I heard Jiwan say. "Oppa, you deserve so much more. I have many other friends who are much better, who will treat you better."

"Isn't that what you said about Jaeyan?" Youngbae said. I took a step back, afraid of what I was hearing. They were talking about me and it wasn't a good thing.

"I was wrong. I didn't realize that she was like that. If I had known she'd be a then I wouldn't have—"

"She's not a and you know that." He was defending me. I didn't know if I should stay and listen or leave and go somewhere far.

"Look, it doesn't matter who she is or what she is. It's about you. Do you still love her?" she asked a question that made my heart thump loudly. What was his answer? There was a long silence before I heard a deep sigh.

"I don't love her anymore. That's that."

I leaned against the wall, taking whatever he said in. It was slowly sinking in as his words echoed in my head. Dong Youngbae doesn't love me anymore. I shouldn't have been surprised. And I shouldn't have been crying the same way I was. I shouldn't have let my feelings take over me. I felt my chest get tighter as the words lingered in my mind. "I don't love her anymore... That's that..."

"Is someone out there?" I heard Youngbae say. I heard someone's footsteps and I began to dash away.

"Jaeyan?" Jiwan called and I didn't stay any longer. I wanted to get out of there before it all caught up to me.

, I thought. Even after all this time, even when I have someone else by my side, I still loved Youngbae.

`

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