"Youngbae called," my mother said as soon as I walked in the house. "Is something wrong with you two? He sounded really frustrated or maybe even sad. Did you two fight?"

I shook my head and smiled at her. "No, don't worry about it."
I headed upstairs to my room and grabbed the phone. After dialing the first three digits of his phone number, I clicked END. I let out a long sigh and laid down on my bed, staring at the ceiling once again. It was my thinking place for the last few days but this whole 'de-stress' seemed to have added more onto my stress. There was NO way I was going to be able to be unstressed when I just saw a whole different level expression in Seunghyun's rich, charismatic eyes.

Silly Park Jaeyan, you're just getting yourself into more trouble. What was worse was how I could call Youngbae after I just felt a little 'confused' about another guy? I gasped and groaned, hitting my head on the wall beside my bed. "YOU FOOL!" I shouted at myself. "How could you? You, the unlucky, spoiled, idiot, mean, rude, ugly, stupid, foolish girl! You finally got someone like Dong Youngbae to love you and this is what you do?!"

And before I knew it, I was crying.
I think I just had my mood swings.

`

Soori sat in the same seat as she did when we didn't talk for a whole class. Honestly, I really didn't care about what was happening between us when my head was all jumbled up thanks to a certain someone. And just when I mentioned it in my head, the SOMEONE appeared by the door. I raced to my seat and put my head down on the table. I could really use a day off.

"Soori~" I heard someone call and it was none other than Kang Daesung. Don't tell me... were they...?!

Soori smiled at him then turned to look at me. In her eyes, she probably saw me as the girl who was staring at them with wide eyes, jaw dropped open, and just completely hysterical. But all she did was sigh and look back at Daesung, her smile reappearing again. It was unfair. I wanted to send her a telepathic message.
'Jung Soori, you're really unfair. I've told you all my problems and worries and all my happiness and feelings about Youngbae and here you are, giving me the could shoulder and just chatting away with a guy you just said you liked a few days ago? It's really unfair...'

Then I realized a few things I didn't mention in my message. The fact that I had been so negative about it, the fact that even though I didn't want to brag how much of a great boyfriend Youngbae was, I DID brag about it probably till no end and didn't consider the feelings of someone who kept getting rejected, cheated on, or played. Those tears I shed last night weren't just for the worries I had about Youngbae and my guilt but for the flaws that I couldn't choose to accept and have avoided all this time. I didn't deserve to be Youngbae's girlfriend or Soori's best friend.

-
Class ended soon enough and Soori was SLOWLY packing her things. I was tempted to go over there but Daesung beat me to the punch. I stood up and walked the other way where I wouldn't have to walk by her and Daesung. I was a coward.

"Hey," Seunghyun caught me while in the middle of the 'avoiding' game. "Are you finally free from stress?"

"Yeah," I lied. "Thanks."

He looked like he was reading my mind and saw right through my stupid lie. "Look, I just wanted to—"

"Jaeyan." I looked behind Seunghyun to find the face of someone who made my heart cringe in guilt, pain, and other things I didn't really understand.

"Youngbae..." I said in a hoarse voice. I looked at Seunghyun quickly and took a deep breath. "Youngbae! Ah, sorry Seunghyun. I'll work on the project with you tomorrow. Library at noon!"

I was walking backwards as I headed over to Youngbae. I smiled at him while he had his arms reached out. I gave in and walked into those warm and loving arms, where he pulled me into his breathtaking hugs. It certainly took my breath.

"You suddenly came for a visit," I said.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you yesterday but I wasn't able to talk to you. Were you feeling sick or something?" he asked in a worried voice. I shook my head. But what was I supposed to say? "Um, is it okay if we talk about a few things?"

I raised my eyebrows for a second and slowly nodded. I had to prepare myself quickly for whatever he was going to say. But what was it about my heart that kept beating? It wasn't those that made my heart flutter and give me that weird but nice feeling. It was one of those that predicted something wasn't going the way it was.

`

We were at the beautiful spot he took me when he first said those special words.
"Jaeyan~" he called, inviting me to join him at the wooden bench. I sat beside him and his arms wrapped around me. I enjoyed myself as I rested my head on his shoulder. It was relaxing, as if the world wasn't turning, as if the time had been stopped. But I could tell by the loud breathing of Youngbae that he was anxious to tell me something. Maybe it had been linked to the time he had told me he was sorry.

"Youngbae," I said, not wanting to drag it on any farther, "you had something you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah..." he said quietly. "I just hope that... I really do hope that you won't turn away because of what I'm going to say."

I shook my head. "That won't happen. I'm here by your side now." I held his hand to comfort him, a silent confirmation that I was there beside him and that I wasn't going to leave. "Tell me."

"It's just... I had a few doubts..." he started out slow, unsure how he should say it. I was getting more nervous myself. "I don't know what I was thinking about but it suddenly came to me that maybe I wasn't good enough and that maybe... you have someone else or something..."

Someone else? Not good enough? Dong Youngbae, are you crazy?! I immediately shook my head and looked at him in the eyes. "Youngbae, I—" Then I noticed that his eyes didn't have that same look... not the same as someone else's. How could I possibly...?!

"I know already," he said, trying his best to put up a smile which ended up making me feel worse. "I trust you. I know I do and it's because I love you."

He kissed me softly in the lips, making me melt away. "I love you, too," I said, whispering it back and kissing once again.

"I'm sorry to ask you this but please," his voice sounded desperate, "please look only at me."

`
E N D ; O O 5