Chapter Twenty Three/ The End

            Today was the day, Mark thought as he put on his suit. His hands were clammy and he couldn’t stop the shaking in his hands. Mark stared at himself in the mirror and tried to take a few deep breaths but all that did was make him look funny. He shouldn’t be feeling this nervous! Jinyoung had told him the night before that he shouldn’t worry, but Mark couldn’t help it.

            He had been going to counseling for a few months about his anxiety and it was working, it really was but Mark could sometimes still hear the words of doubt in his head. The counselor had told Mark that saying and feeling were two different things. Mark would say that he was fine and that he didn’t believe the words his father had drilled into his head over the years and he would sometimes actually believe that what his father had said was wrong, but more often than not he believed the vile man. Jackson however was a big help saying one night, that he would replace each negative thought in Mark’s head with an “I love you.”

            His boyfriend had kept his promise and whenever Mark was feeling low or was even spacing out a soft voice would whisper, “I love you.” Jackson had even been the one to recommend the councilor to Mark because it was the one Jackson himself and BamBam were seeing to cope with the death of their parents. BamBam stopped freaking out about certain things and his nightmares were almost completely gone.

            Youngjae however had his own set of nightmares because Jackson had apparently given the boy the whole, “If you deflower my baby brother I will know and I will get you,” Youngjae had avoided BamBam for a few days after that in which he came crying to Mark asking if Youngjae didn’t like him anymore. It took Mark a firm speaking to with Jackson, taking BamBam out for ice cream to cheer him up and a slap at the back of Youngjae’s head to solve the problem. After that Youngjae apologized to BamBam and took the boy to a movie, and if Jackson had dragged Mark to that same movie to spy on the two well, he wouldn’t tell. It was nice to have a tight group of friends he could rely on and while they each were dealing with different things they knew that they could count on each other.

            “Mark I told you that you look fine no stop touching your hair I spent forever styling it!” Jinyoung said stepping into Mark’s bedroom. Mark watched through the mirror as Jinyoung straightened Mark’s tie and smiled at the ring on his finger. It had been about time that those two had finally gotten married to each other and their small wedding was one of the only times Mark could recall his brother crying for something.

            Jaebum had really stepped up after their last encounter with their father. Mark had turned eighteen and had been promptly moved out but he didn’t end up on the streets like his father had wanted him to. On Mark’s first day as a legal adult Jaebum and Jinyoung waited outside together, ready to take Mark home.

            During their wedding they had invited Mark’s mother who was trying her hardest to reconnect with Mark. She had divorced his father and was now living with one of her girlfriends who was a single mother. Jane decided that her boys were right and she hoped that it wasn’t to late to fix things. Mark had first screamed and cried when she asked for forgiveness, yelling things like, “Why didn’t you protect me,” or things like, “I hate myself because of what you let him do to me,”  Jaebum was about to step in but Jane herself burst into tears and wrapped Mark up in her arms. The boy towered over his mother but that didn’t matter because he just sagged down into the women saying, “Why?” Over and over as he repeated I’m sorry. Jinyoung had come and placed a hand on his shoulder and walked him away, those two needed to have a moment alone.

            After that however Jane really tried her hardest to be, if not a mom but a friend to Mark. He couldn’t really change the image he had of her, she had birthed him yes but she was never really a true mother to him. Mark had taken to calling her Jane but the women didn’t mind, she was just glad to have Mark back and sometimes of she was really lucky, when laying on the cough watching a movie Mark would fall asleep on her lap and say, “Goodnight mom.” Moments like that Jane lived for.

            Day to day however Mark had taken to calling Jinyoung mother, Jaebum of course thought he was making his husband but Jinyoung knew that wasn’t true ad had burst into tears because he was so happy. He even took to calling Mark, son and said, “Well if I’m the mommy does that mean Jaebum is the daddy?” Jaebum and Mark gave one look at each other before saying, “No!” In unison.

            Overall Mark’s life was going right finally and when Jaebum called him from his room Jinyoung quickly dragged him out and into the living room. Jackson was standing there with some red roses and his own suit, which looked strange but pleasant on the boy who typically wore sport attire.

            “Ready for prom?” Jackson asked, his smiling bright and all for Mark.

            Stepping forward Mark took the flowers from his boyfriend’s hand, “You didn’t need to get me anything you already paid for the tickets.” Mark said shifting his body from side to side, almost bouncing with his nerves.

            “Please this is our one and only prom I’m going all out! Youngjae said he’d meet us there with BamBam, their still taking pictures together and I just couldn’t wait to see you! You look amazing, good job Jinyoung!” Jackson said giving the man a thumbs up and a shy wave to Jaebum who looked proud but also looked like he was going to eat Jackson alive.

            “Pictures, how could I have forgotten pictures? You two stand over by the fire place this instant.” Jinyoung yelled moving the boys into position before taking out his phone. It was safe to say that they were actually later than Youngjae and BamBam but they still had a blast anyway. Jackson was an amazing dancer and had made Mark dance to nearly every song. At first Mark was hesitant but Jackson had looked so sure, so Mark took the first step…and danced the night away with the only boy he would ever love in his life.

            Because BamBam had just turned Seventeen a month before prom Jackson had eased up a little bit but he did tell Youngjae that if BamBam was not in his bed, alone by the time that he returned he in fact knew where he lived and that was threat alone. Youngjae and BamBam had decided to leave once the music had started to die down but Mark and Jackson stayed together until the very last bit of the prom, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

            “I love you Mark Tuan…” Jackson had said. Smiling before kissing his boyfriend on a small scar on Jackson’s neck that he had gotten from the accident, a scar that sent a small shock between the two of them whenever Mark touched it Mark said, “I love you too Jackson Wang.”