Chapter 18


“What are you doing…?”

Jaejoong’s irritated voice brought her back from her trance. She looked up to him and saw the clear annoyance in his face… eyes were into tiny slits as his brow almost reach his forehead. 

“What…?” She answered innocently and just then she saw him scowled. 

“As far as I can remember… we hate each other… so now, I’m wondering why… since this day started… you’ve been clinging on to me like a leech… oh… rephrase that… you’ve been clinging on to me like a tarsier… a very annoying tarsier.”

Dara’s eyes immediately widen in disbelief… for a while she didn’t know what he was talking about until she felt his arm nudging hers away.

She looked down only to be surprised to see her hand holding on to his arm. And quickly, a bucket of disgust poured over her that it took only a blink of an eye for her hand to leave his arm and for her to jump five feet away from him. 

“Yah..! How dare you put my hand against your skin..! Who knows what will I get from you..?!”

She pointed at him accusingly. While he, on the other side scoffed loudly before rolling his eyes. 

“Oh please… I know how much you’ve been craving to touch me... Did they tell you how soft my skin is..? Making me busy here eh, just so you can steal a touch…” 

Dara’s mouth went wide open, about to explode… and finger was still pointing stiffly towards Jaejoong who was now wearing a very smug look on his face. Just then, at the side of her eyes… she saw Jiyong looking towards her direction and as if his presence was a pacifier for her fuming wrath… then slowly closed as a sweet smile slowly curved on it. She brought her hand down as she gradually approached Jaejoong.

“You sweet little piece of rat poop…” She tried to control herself from exploding. Clearly at the end of her self-control as her face blushed from anger and jaws clenched tightly together. Jaejoong looked at her wonderingly before his face turned sour once again.

“What’s wrong with you…? You’re freaking me out again…” He said… leaning away from her once she reached his side. 

“Nothing… nothing’s wrong with me…” She shook her head, still wearing that awkward sweet smile on her face.

“Come on Jaejoong-ssi… we’re still not done fixing the booth…” 

And upon hearing it… he shivered from the goosebumps on his skin… looked at her in mixed disgust and shock as he immediately walked away from her towards their booth… 

A light chuckle escaped from her lips as she watched how Jaejoong retreated… thinking that would probably be the best way to keep him away… yet by the things that were happening now, keeping Jaejoong away would probably be the last thing she had in mind. 

“If that is how you feel… then you should have let Jaejoong to pick you up”

Those words kept on repeating inside her mind… and as much as she didn’t want anyone, especially Jiyong to think of something going on between Jaejoong and her, she couldn’t help but to use that thought to probably… hurt Jiyong more.

The look on his face as he said those words… filled with pain and remorse yet she wanted more… couldn’t help but think of since when she became sadistic…? Wanted to see more pain in him… wanted him to feel worse than how she felt when she was on his place… because only with that, she could get back on him. Probably it was too childish… but it was also a way for her to bring back her shattered pride… that at least for once, she managed not to succumb to him. 

Her eyes fluttered sadly as a frown slowly painted her expression. She could still feel ‘him’ watching her… it was too inevitable to feel it… for since she arrived at the school, his eyes had been glued to her, watching her. 

She wanted it… wanted his eyes on her… wanted him to see how her life was doing good without him… that he will remain as one of the fragments of her past for her present was nothing but better than the days she was with him… probably…

A bitter smile escaped her lips… wanted to look towards his way to see his reaction but then, she let go of the thought as her gaze fixed on Jaejoong, who was looking back at her with full alert and a bit fear in his eyes. 


“I guess having Jaejoong around is not totally a bad idea…”

“Jaejoong-ssi…! Wait for me…!” she yelled at him as she followed and ran after him. 


“What…? So they’re together now…? You know about this Jiyong…?”

Youngbae tapped on his shoulder… watching the two familiar people from the stage. 

Jiyong’s gaze shifted towards him… lips was pouted and eyes were rounded as he gazed at his friend wonderingly. 

“I don’t know… maybe…” He shook his head innocently before he bowed down to get his paint brush and joined in painting the stage again. 

Youngbae just stood there watching his friend… his gaze went back to Dara who was now with Jaejoong in their booth. He sighed… shoulders dropped in defeat as he looked back at his friend.

“You said, you don’t want to commit another mistake, by just standing away and not doing anything to get her back. I guess you’re already living that mistake now Ji…” 

Youngbae mumbled… couldn’t help but to let out the forming frustration in him… it was exhausting watching his friend faking every of his actions… watching Jiyong watching Dara mingling with another guy wearing that unreadable expression on his face, and playing deaf when clearly, he wanted to punch him now at this moment for bringing up those words that Jiyong wished he never mentioned before. 

And as expected… playing deaf yet again… Jiyong dropped his paint brush minutes after his friend said those words. 

His hands were formed into a fist on his knees… he remained seated for a while, controlling himself not to lash out every pain and anger that were pent up inside him. 

And after a while, with a stoned expression on his face, he stood up… without paying a look on his friend, he just walked away. 

Youngbae was supposed to let him go… was supposed to let him find his peace yet he knew he can’t just stand there and do nothing… with that, he followed his friend… and once he was about to reach for him, Jiyong spun around and welcomed him with a very serious expression on his face.

“What do you want me to do…? I told you I can’t hurt her anymore… I told you I can’t do this to her anymore… I don’t care how much I will regret this but if this will make everything good for her… if she’ll forget about me and every pain I caused her, I don’t care about the regrets Bae… just give me more time..! It just hurts… seeing her like that… happy with another man… it hurts like hell… but I’ll take it… no matter how painful it is… because I know it’s nothing than the pain I’ve caused her.” 

He choked on his words as tears started to form in his eyes. And upon seeing his reaction, Youngbae couldn’t help but to feel a little guilt. He sighed and reached for his friend’s shoulder, squeezing it a bit. 

“Have you ever tried apologizing for what you’ve done…? That, it’s not all about getting her back but to just let her know how you feel right now…? Tell her the words you just told me… me and the others are getting tired of watching you slowly breaking Jiyong… and if you think we will just wait for you… if you think that the time the you want would heal you, you know better than us that you won’t… not as long as there’s pain in you and also in Dara… Jiyong just let her know…”

Jiyong stared at his friend for a while before he hung his head low… a slight smile formed on his lips as he inhaled deeply, blinking away the tears even before it could escape his eyes. 

“If even telling her that I love her was just nothing but lie… I doubt she would even listen and care to how I am feeling right now.”

He looked up, still wearing that sad smile on his face.

Youngbae opened his mouth only to close it after as he could see how it was already tormenting his friend… wearing a worried expression on his face, he could only nod at Jiyong’s words… 


“You’re using me aren’t you…?”

Dara snapped her gaze towards Jaejoong upon hearing his words. He was looking at her with a stern look on his face. 

It was already the night of their school fair and apparently… Dara had dragged Jaejoong for the nth time on another booth. When they were supposed to watch their own booth, there they were, wandering around… trying out every booths. 

At first Jaejoong was in one booth, playing… not until Dara popped out, yet again at his side and the next thing he knew, she was already dragging him to everywhere. He asked her to just go with her friend but she just scoffed at him, telling him that her friend was busy watching their booth. At first Jaejoong didn’t say anything… let her drag him with her, and when Dara thought he won’t see what she was up to, after a long moment of silence from him… he finally spoke. 

“What do you mean…?” She asked him unknowingly.

“You’re too obvious… you know that…” He simply said back… just then he turned his gaze towards the other direction. Dara followed it and her eyes widen before she snapped back her gaze to Jaejoong upon realizing that he was looking towards the direction of Jiyong. 

She immediately held onto Jaejoong’s arm, catching his attention back to her. 

“Please… just stay with me for tonight…” she mumbled.

He raised a brow and pouted, before he reached for her and flicked her forehead. Her eyes widen… immediately shrieked and caressed her throbbing forehead. 

“What was that for..?!” she yelled at him.

“What are you talking about…?” He said lazily as he blew on his finger. 

Dara calmed and pouted a bit before she gazed on Jiyong’s direction…

“I was… I’m sorry… but…”

“I was talking about that booth…” he pointed the booth near from where Jiyong was. 

“Eh..?” she could only reply in confusion. 

“I’ve been paying every booth you dragged me to… are you planning to try on everything…? You think you won’t pay me for this…? I am not here to-..”

She cut him as she placed a hotdog inside his mouth. And instantly, he choked… 

He immediately spat out the food and turned to her… who was looking at him with a wide smile on her face. 

“And you’re not a good actress either… I don’t get it why and how could your boyfriend believe your act…”

He rolled his eyes before placing his hands inside his pockets… 

Dara was immediately left dumbfounded… the smile on her face slowly faltered and for a moment she was silent before she cleared and faked out a laugh.

“Well I apologize for being a bad actress… and for your information, he’s not my boyfriend anymore… well… uhmm… haha… let’s go… it’s my turn to treat…” 

He just rolled his eyes and walked past her towards one booth… Dara stood on her spot for a while… glanced at Jiyong’s direction who was busily setting up for their act. She was immediately gone in deep trance…funny how just last year she was with him, happily touring around, trying out every booth… and now that it was only one year left before their graduation, the supposed to be unforgettable event would surely be unforgettable for it was a first time spending it without him.

And when she thought she would be drowned in her thoughts, Jiyong slowly turned to her… his gaze immediately met hers… and quickly she was glued on her spot. 

She gasped… couldn’t blink her eyes as Jiyong looked at her with that intense gaze… her heart began pounding hard… palms started to sweat and once again… breathing began the hardest thing to do. 

“I thought you’re going to treat me…? I want to play on that booth… pay it…” 

She finally managed to blink and turn her gaze away from Jiyong when Jaejoong brought her back from her trance. 

She looked back to Jiyong only to see him, busily helping out to his friends again…


Students and other people were all gathered around the stage… the first day of the fair was about to end with Jiyong’s band playing their acts… 

Some people were chanting together with the familiar songs they were playing… some were dancing… while the others preferred to just listen and watch them rock the stage… 

Dara, now with her friend, Bom and still with Jaejoong… was at the side of the stage watching. 

As much as she didn’t want to watch… Bom dragged her to watch it, while Jaejoong just tagged along because apparently, he was holding on to the prizes they got from the booths awhile ago. 

Dara kept her gaze away from Jiyong… focusing on the people around and on the other members of the band. But with Jiyong’s voice… she couldn’t help but to steal a glance… and as usual… he was like a god on the stage… with his powerful voice… and how he projected the song he was singing was undeniably beautiful to watch and be awed. 

Just when she was about to glance away again… Jiyong turned to her… 

She could only gulp down… breathe deeply as Jiyong kept his gaze towards him… 

And when she thought she would once again feel suffocated… the song finally ended. 

She sighed deeply and immediately dropped her gaze… she couldn’t take it… if she would stay longer… she feared she would faint in suffocation, and with that, she turned to her friend.

“Bom, I need to go… I can’t stay here…”

Bom looked at her hesitantly and when Dara knew that her friend will ask her to stay, she decided to just walk away… but then, when Jiyong started to speak from the stage… her steps began to feel heavy. 

Jiyong dropped his electric guitar as he picked up an acoustic one… his gaze was still locked on Dara whose back was facing him… 

“This will be the last song… thank you for being here… just knowing that you’re here is enough to keep me going…” 

The next thing that was heard was the sounds coming from his guitar… 

I'm sorry, yes I am, for everything that I've done.
How can I do this right, without you in my life.
Even though I say I love you I've gotta make a change in my life, baby,
I realize that you're better off without me by your side.
You're a special lady and I know I'm not ready for you, oh

She felt goosebumps against her skin as he sung the lyrics of the song… each word struck her heart hard like a lightning that it was painful yet she can’t help but to listen more… slowly, she turned to face his direction… gasped once she saw him looking directly towards her… 

I'm sorry for, what I've done.
I broke your heart, now we're apart.
I'm sorry for, making you cry.
I broke your heart, now I'm alone.
I'm by myself.

She wanted to look away for the pain in his eyes were too drowning to take… yet the more she wanted to avoid it, the more it made her drown… 

Tell me why, why I made my baby cry.
I know I love you but why,
Should I put you through all of these changes.
Never mind all those I said cause I, didn't mean a thing.
I promised you, I only want you in my life, oh.

Just then, the next thing she felt were tears starting to form in her eyes… her heart pounding so hard that it felt like it would soon escape her chest… her lips started to tremble… hand reached up to clutch on her chest… calming herself yet it was impossible to do so. 

I'm sorry for, what I've done.
I broke your heart, now we're apart…for ever more.
I'm sorry for, making you cry…making my baby cry, oh.
I broke your heart, now I'm alone…I don't think I'm going anywhere baby.

Jiyong almost choked out the last words as tears started to run down his cheeks… his jaw clenched upon seeing the woman he loved the most… crying once again… and just then, he broke their gaze as he looked down… 

“I’m sorry…but I still love you baby…”

He whispered against the mic… never knew if she heard it… but mostly didn’t care… for those words came out from his lips automatically right after the song… 



last 2 chaps..? i think..?
sorry for the typos...

THANKS FOR READING..! huhuhuhuhu...
only few comments? T.T lol..! just kidding...!

as for the song, i just chose a song which lyric's fit with the story's scene. 
ahaha.. so hard to find one... 

huhuhu... the drama is making me lonely as well... lol

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