[Jiyong’s POV]

It’s already been a week but still she hasn’t come to school… 

Is this her way to make me come back to her…? 

Is this her way to kill me of my guilt…?

If she thinks I would fall for her childish act, she’s wrong… she should know how to be mature enough to face the truth… I’m just a person… vulnerable to temptations… she was so nice… sickeningly nice to the point that it’s really getting tiresome… 

In which I never find in Chaerin… sure she was nice… but not to the point that it’s already suffocating… she’s mature enough to act on her age… she knows what she wants… and she never gives up just to get that… she’s not like Dara who would give everything to me even though I didn’t ask for… Chaerin leaves me hanging and begging for more… while Dara always clings to me… glued on me to feed me with useless things… I wanted a girlfriend not another mother to care for me… I realized I wanted excitement and not some serious commitment in which Dara has probably in her mind…

Sure I loved her… loved for I don’t know if until now I still do… since when did I have a change of heart…? Since when did I start seeing her as nothing…?

--

I tried calling her but as usual… her phone is off… she doesn’t want to talk to me… that’s new… I remember her not leaving the line not until she fall asleep listening even just my breath on the other line… her childish acts that I never thought I got used to…

Four years… that was long… such a surprise that now I couldn’t remember much of what happened between us over that four years… which is good for what was past should remain buried in the past… I don’t want to go back on my childishness that I shared with her… 

--

From: CL

Meet me later ♥


Suddenly a smile crept on my lips upon seeing her message… it’s been a while since I feel such anticipation… wanting for the day to end fast even though it just started… for at the end, seeing her later would be my reward…

I quickly replied to her and slipped my phone back to my pocket as the door of our classroom opened… I thought it was our professor but much to my surprise it was ‘her’… 

I almost forgot that she’s in my class every morning… 

A warm smile plastered on her full lips… nothing had changed from her… that same face that I had fell for, for the past four years… nothing had changed… and the woman who I left broken days ago… nothing had changed…

Odd it may seem but she looked happy right now… far from the crying face that bugged me for days… far from the pleading look she gave me that day… 

I felt myself stiffened a bit… moved, when our eyes suddenly met… but to my surprise she just looked away… just as if she didn’t know me…

So… now this is her act… playing as if she didn’t care… I wonder how long she would keep up to her act…? Proud I may look, but I know her too well…

--

Our class passed faster than I expected… I just realized that I have been watching her the whole period… probably feeling odd with her change… yes… finally a ‘change’…nothing outside her has changed… but the way she approached people slightly changed… she looked really happy… 

I should not care… I should not bother… but I couldn’t help but to… and I just found myself in silence… observing her from afar… what’s wrong with me…? What’s with the sudden curiousity…?

The class finally ended…the students slowly lessened… I saw her and she was still fixing her things…she’s always slow… and suddenly her friend appeared on the door… and upon seeing me, I received a fuming glare from her… Dara saw it for she turned to me then looked back at her friend…

“Bommie-ah…”

She ran towards her friend and hugged her… I just decided to shrug off and quickly fixed my things… expecting to receive another blow, especially now that she’s here…

“Why were you absent huh…? I was worried…”

“I went to visit my dad…” 

I heard them… it’s not that I was eavesdropping… I glanced towards her… as far as I know she was mad to her dad… he left them and went to another woman… and now, she went to him…? I saw her smiled again as she told her friend what happened between them… 

I shook my head… what am I doing…? 

I quickly grabbed my things and decided to just leave… not missing her last words before I got out of the room…

“I forgive him now…”

Hearing those words were like ripping my insides… feeling like if I too deserve that forgiveness from her… but what do I care..? The damage has been done… what’s the use of asking for her forgiveness if I did it wholeheartedly without any regrets…

--

“Yah… so how are you now…?”

She and her friend were walking towards the other building… she gathered herself tightly just to be able to see him straight earlier… a week of resting… thinking of her fault gave her the peace that she needed… she had suffocated him… afraid that she too will experience what her mom experienced with her dad… thinking someone would take him away once she neglected him added more to that fear… but in the end… her too much attention was the one that took him away from her…

“I guess I couldn’t say that I’m totally fine now…”

Her voice trailed off… Bom just nodded 

“But I’m trying Bom… four years of having him is hard to get out from my system but I’m trying… I just… realized I was too selfish… holding him tight that I never cared of what he feels during those times…”

“It’s not your fault… he was just a total jerk…!”

“Bommie-ah…”

Bom turned to her with an anger expression on her face… she suddenly hold her on her shoulders and began shaking her…

“It’s not your fault…! You just love him… and he was a jerk for not appreciating you…! God I want to strangle him to death…!”

Bom squeezed her as if she’s Jiyong… 

“Bommie… I… feel dizzy…. I’m not…. Jiyong…”

And with that, her friend quickly let go of her… Dara looked at her for awhile and suddenly started laughing out of the blue… Bom raised a brow… startled by her friend’s sudden reaction…

“Yah… how could you be so happy like that…?”

“I… told… you I’m trying…”

She said between her laugh… Bom just watched her… she knew she’s still broken… and just as she thought… Dara’s laugh slowly subsided… as her eyes slowly tear… her lips trembled as the first batch of tears flowed out from her eyes…

“I still love him Bom… earlier… I tried so hard not to break once I see him… my jaw even strained from trying to smile the whole time… him, seeing me as if I was just nothing pained me so much… am I really nothing to him now…?”

She said between her sobs… Bom sighed before she smiled a bit… she reached for Dara and enveloped her friend in her arms…

“Bommie-ah… I still love him…”

“I know you still do… just let it all out okay… don’t force yourself too much…”

Dara continued crying… Bom hugged her tighter… if only she could take those sadness away

“You don’t deserve all of this pain Dara…”

She continued… never did she saw her this broken… that she too couldn’t help but to get teary-eyed… it pains her too seeing her friend like this…