“Just get back on him already…” 

A deep male voice woke her up from her trance… gaze immediately shifted away from the person she was watching for God knew how long from under one of the trees around their school ground. 

She blinked her eyes for a couple of times as she looked up to the man who spoke and saw the most arrogant person she knew looking at her with a familiar smug look on his face…Jaejoong. She raised her eyebrow and cleared .

“What are you talking about…?” She retaliated.

Jaejoong smirked before his gaze shifted from her to the person she had been watching a while ago. He pouted towards Jiyong who was busily helping out in setting up the stage for their up coming school fair. 

“I said, just get back on him already because apparently you were drooling all over him… it’s disgusting…” 

Dara’s eyes widen… immediately stood up from where she was seated and pointed her finger towards him.

“Yah..! I was not drooling..! And who says that I am looking at him..! I am… I… I am watching the people! And by the way… what are you doing here…? Annoying me, yet again…?!” 

Jaejoong stared at her finger that was near to touch the bridge of his nose before he set her hand away and chuckled. Dara stared at him for a while… face was in full disbelief. Jaejoong coughed his chuckles down before his expression turned a bit serious…

“You told me to come here…” He said with raised brow… 

Dara blinked for a couple of times again before she remembered sending him a message a while ago to meet her up.

“Oh…” Was all she could say after being embarrassed about the way she acted. They stared at each other for a while before she broke the gaze and cleared … she fiddled to get something inside her pants’ pocket and presented Jaejoong a piece of paper. He raised a brow and looked at her wonderingly.

“They said that by tomorrow we should already be giving out flyers and posting the posters of our booth… so, I need them to get printed today…”

Jaejoong nodded and pouted his lips to the paper she was holding.

“So what’s with the list…?” He asked.

“Well… there are some things that we haven’t bought yet… I was hoping you could buy them”

He looked at her for a moment before his eyes slowly turned into tiny slits and the holes of his nose expanded as he looked at her accusingly. 

“You planned this didn’t you…?”

He whispered and it took Dara a quite while before she realized what he was talking about. Once again, her eyes widen in disbelief… Jaejoong was being ridiculous again.

“How absurd! What plan are you talking about..?!”

She can’t help but to raise her voice to him… and in response, Jaejoong put his hands in front of him as if shielding himself.

“That you purposely left tons of things to buy then you’ll ask me to buy those alone while you choose the easy task of printing the posters…”

She can’t believe the silliness in his words… can’t he think of anything other than childishness…? She thought. With that, she momentarily closed her eyes… calming herself despite the impossibility in it… she just can’t take more of him. 

“Can you just do the stupid task so that we can finish this project quickly and so you’ll be out of my life, you childish brat!”

In the end she wasn’t able to control herself… she panted and Jaejoong watched her in awe before he started to laugh. 

“And now you think this is funny? Why are you doing this to me? Why do you always piss me off?” 

She asked him with an obvious anger in her voice… Jaejoong noticed her eyes started to water as she bit her lips as she suppressed herself from crying and with that, his expression slowly turned serious and guilt immediately filled him. 

Dara glared at him and decided to just walk away but Jaejoong was able to stop her. 

“I guess I overdid it today…”

He whispered as he slowly looked away from her… Dara scoffed and was about to say something to him but his next words made her swallow her words even before she could say it. He looked at her with a very serious expression on his face. 

“I do it because… it is only when you’re mad I can see who you are and how you really are. Every time I see you, you’re always spacing out… you’re like a walking dead or something. You don’t react that much… your expressions tell the same thing over and over again and it is really depressing to look at. Try to move the muscles in your face for a bit because it might get stuck like that for the rest of your life…” 

He looked away again after his last word. She was dumbfounded… didn’t even know how to react from what he had said… she didn’t know if she should be grateful to him or be pissed more. She blinked her eyes for a couple of times… trying to sink in everything that he said. 


‘Was I always like that since I met him…?’ she can’t help but to be conscious about what he said.


For a moment she was in deep trance and the next thing she realized was her lips had already curved into a smile and the anger inside her disappeared as if with just a flick of a finger. 

Jaejoong glanced at her for a bit and saw the smile that was plastered on her face and he too eventually can’t help but to smile from it.

“You know sometimes, it’s also good to smile as well. I think your muscles will be exercised more by doing so.”

And she looked at him with rounded eyes… there was still a touch of mockery in his statement yet she can’t help but to feel the concern in it as well. Her lips slowly pouted as she looked at him in annoyance. 

“Then you should have just used the effort of making me mad by making me happy instead”

Jaejoong pondered for a while before a light chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head. 

“No. You look ugly when you’re mad and it entertains me a lot. That’s how it goes… we earn benefit from each other… Your muscles get to be exercised when I tease you then I’ll get my entertainment from watching you’re ugly expressions.” 

His childishness was really impossible to disappear… she thought. 

She snorted which earned another chuckle from him.

“Yes… just like that” He teased again.

At first Dara pouted at him before she eventually couldn’t help but to join him in laughing. 


--


He looked at them from afar yet enough to clearly see her… saw how her face lightened and how her lips curved out the sweetest smile that he excruciatingly missed. God knew how much effort he was exerting in himself not to make a step towards her and ask her what made her smile like that… and just then… his gaze landed on the person she was with… only to see that it was Jaejoong. 

Of course… who else it could be..?

He could only watch them… stuck on his spot. Thoughts… questions filled his mind and every word in it plunged a dagger deep inside his chest in exchange. 

“Just look away Jiyong…” he kept telling himself… yet as if his body was punishing itself from the emotional torture brought by watching Dara getting her happiness from another guy. 

“Jiyong..!” 

And finally…someone’s voice woke him up from his trance… he blinked his eyes for a couple of times and finally, he was able to let out a deep breath… able to lessen the heaviness he felt inside. 

He looked at her again. Still saw that beautiful smile on her face clearly. He could only let out a bitter smile… lips were straining and heart was aching tremendously.

“Well at least she’s happy now Jiyong…” he whispered under his breath before he turned around and started with his tracks. 


‘Without you in her life…’


Yet those words inside his mind were louder than his own voice... 


--


“So about our plan after graduation… where are we going…? I was hoping that we could at least go far, like somewhere abroad… hmmm… what do you think..?”

The boys looked at him in aghast as if he was out of his mind… who wouldn’t? If one moment he looked like he would break apart then the next thing… he looked like as if nothing happened… and now even planning about their outing after graduation. 

Youngbae was surprised just like the others… but as he continuously watched and listened to his friend, his expression slowly changed as a clear worry plastered on his face. 

“Hyung are you okay?”

Youngbae darted his gaze to Seungri then shifted it back to Jiyong. 

Jiyong momentarily stopped from talking as he looked at their maknae with a wondering look on his face. 

“I’m fine… why? Ah… arasso… you think it’s too expensive? I thought so too… so, where should we go then? Jeju..?”

Seunghyun silently folded his arms against his chest and leaned back on his seat as he figured out what was happening in Jiyong. 

“Hyung, so are you and Dara noo-…”

Seunghyun immediately elbowed Daesung, making him stop from what he was saying and even before he could ask him about it, Youngbae got in between. 

“Yes Ji… I think it’ll be better if we’ll just go to Jeju. It would still be fun… I know this one place which is popular for its beautiful hot spring. We haven’t tried it yet…” 
And the mention of Dara’s name earlier was immediately forgotten as the boys succeeded to carry out the topic about their outing smoothly.

At first they were a bit confused about the sudden change in Jiyong until they realized that Jiyong was trying hard to cover up what he was feeling inside. Yet no matter how he tried, he just couldn’t cover up the sadness he was feeling… for it was still clear in his eyes the agony that was continuously tormenting him.


--


Later it was only him and Youngbae that was left as the others went to their class… 

They were talking with each other along the hallway and Jiyong was in the middle of talking when he suddenly stopped… Youngbae looked at him and noticed that he was staring at something… rather someone.

With that, slowly, Youngbae followed Jiyong’s gaze and there he knew what made him stop. 

At the end of the hallway was Dara together with her friend Bom. At first, the two women weren’t able to notice them… it was Bom who saw them first and with that, she immediately elbowed Dara. 

Dara stiffened upon seeing Jiyong and the latter’s state was not far from hers… 

They looked at each other for a moment yet for the both of them it was the longest in their lives… 

Jiyong’s heart constricted in so much pain as he looked at her who was only a few feet away from him… so near yet so far… he can’t help but think… funny that the woman he used to hold… hug and kiss was the last person he could touch now…

Dara looked at him in the same manner… can’t believe that just two nights ago he was in her apartment… begging her to get back with him. And she can’t believe that until now she can’t control her insides to tremble whenever he was there… that breathing was the hardest thing to do when he was there… 

And when she thought their stare with each other would never end… Jiyong’s lips slowly curved out a slight smile before he shifted his gaze away from her towards her friend… 

She could only blink… was able to get hold of her breathing as she watched him smiling to her friend and bowed a bit to them as if acknowledging them before he went back on talking with Youngbae and passed by them. 

She didn’t know how to act… a part of her wanted what happened for that what she wanted the night she told him everything was over for them… but still, there was a part of her wanting him to try again… wanting him to work hard for her trust again… but mostly…wanting him back in her life again… such stupidity that she can’t stop… 

“What was that…? Did he just pass by without doing anything at all…?” 

She looked at Bom whose expression was in full awe. Dara tilted her head to the side and wondered what her friend meant… Noticing what she had suddenly blurted out… Bom, immediately turned to Dara who was looking back at her.

“What do you mean…?” Dara asked… 

Bom fidgeted a bit… thinking if she should tell her friend about what Jiyong told her days ago…

“Well…” Bom looked at Dara who was still looking at her with expectant eyes… 
She breathed out first and decided that it won’t hurt to tell it to her friend… 

“Well… I had a talk with him before… and as far as I know, he’s ready to do everything just to have you back. The only thing that’s missing to him was to threaten someone just to have you back… I don’t know… he just looked so desperate… and now…”

Dara smiled a bit about how Bom described Jiyong’s state that time… true… he did look so desperate that it almost scared her… yet at the same time almost got swayed by it as well… 

“Well… maybe he hit his head somewhere and suddenly woke up to the truth that we won’t be together again…” 

Bom was shocked… can’t believe that she heard her friend say said such thing… and the way she said those words was as easy as blinking… 

“Did he approach you…? Did you two talked…?” 

Dara never told Bom about the night that Jiyong went to her apartment… she just wanted to forget that it ever happened… yet no matter how much she wanted to forget about it… what happened that night kept on repeating in her head… the way he cried… the way he begged her… it was too painful to forget… 

Dara nodded to her friend. Bom’s eyes widen and she was about to ask her what happened when Dara cut her to it. 

“He asked me to get back with him… but I told him I can’t…”

Her voice slowly weakened that her voice were almost too soft to be heard… 

“I just can’t Bom…” 

Bom’s arm immediately wrapped around her and her back to calm her…

“I know. You do what you think is the best Dara… I’ll be just right here to support you…” 

Dara looked up to her friend and saw that she’s smiling down at her… 

“Thank you…” she said back with a smile...

They were back as walking when Bom cleared … thinking of something that would lighten up the mood. And when she thought of one… a sly smile slowly curved on her plump lips…

“So… what’s going on between you and Jaejoong…?” 

Dara immediately looked at her with a surprised look on her face.

“What do you mean…?” She asked

“Well… aren’t you too close with each other…?” Bom said as a matter-of-fact… 

Dara raised a brow and it took her quite a while to figure out what her friend meant… and when she realized it… her eyes widen in disbelief and a gasp escaped her lips before she began shaking his head no. 

“Whatever you’re thinking Bom won’t ever happen… me and that brat have nothing to do with each other…” 

Bom smiled slyly at Dara’s reaction before she hesitantly nodded her head.

“Okay. As for me, I believe you… I think he’s too good for you…” Bom teased and Dara’s brow raised more and before she could retaliate back, Bom cut her to it. 

“But to someone I know… I think seeing you with Jaejoong kills him slowly. Not that I pity him… because in fact I love watching him in torment…” Bom grinned as she remembered one incident. 

Dara tilted her head to the side and pouted her lips in wonder… Bom turned to her and flashed her again another smile.

“I’m talking about Jiyong.” Bom simply said. 

And surprised as to what she heard… for a while, Dara was in silence…

“You’re kidding… why would he even think of-…” she whispered to herself. Bom turned to her wearing a curious look on her face. Dara faced her and gave her back a smile.

“Well I don’t care about what he thinks or feels anymore…” 

Bom was momentarily stopped in her steps as she looked at her friend as she was surprised once again from Dara’s statement. 

“What..?” Dara asked as she looked back at her friend. 

Bom blinked for a couple of times, waking herself up if she misheard what her friend said… she was truly taken aback with what Dara said… and after realizing that it was all true she shook her head and caught up with her friend.

“Nothing…” She said as she cleared and put up another smile…

Bom occasionally glanced at her friend… a bit worried if she was once again putting up another fake act yet there was only blankness in Dara’s face… as blank as to what she was feeling now.


--


“I’m going to the studio to practice with the band…”

Jiyong suddenly said as he turned to the other way without even paying a look to his friend… but before he could get away, Youngbae put his hand on his shoulder to stop him. 

“Ji… -“

“She told me I only remind her of pain…”

Youngbae didn’t say a word as he slowly placed his hand off of Jiyong’s shoulder… he just look at Jiyong who had kept his back on his friend. 

“I can’t do this to her anymore… I guess we would be better off away from each other. I’ll commit more mistakes in the future Bae… I’ll hurt her again…”

Jiyong looked back to his friend, wearing a slight smile on his lips… 

“Seeing her happy again would be enough… even though I don’t even have the rights to feel this way… I just want her to forget every pain that I’ve caused her” he said, nodding to himself… 


‘And if it won’t still make her happy enough… I wish she would forget the moment in her life where she get to meet me…’ 


Youngbae could only nod to his friend’s words… watched Jiyong’s face etched with nothing but blankness in it… what a friend can do would be to respect his friend’s decision and support him all throughout with it. And that was what he did… Youngbae gave him back a smile… and not another word came out from the both of them… yet Jiyong’s mind continuously screamed out the words that his heart wanted to pour out.