Chapter 18

Everyone was used to a professional N, a playful and cheery N, a sassy and y N but no one knew how to deal with this….this…sulky, sad, depressed and not so N. It was like his soul was leaving his body day by day, he would eat less, sleep lesser and was becoming professional to the point it got scary. He was professional as ever, he couldn’t afford to be anything less than perfect but Hakyeon always worked with so much zeal and zest as if it was his own wedding. But now, it was as if he was a robot…taking clients, planning weddings and ordering stuff according to it. That’s it. He no more was the bubbly, sassy and diva Cha N everyone knew…How much he wanted to come out and say good bye one last time to Ravi when he left….leaving him alone with a broken heart, but he couldn’t be blamed either…after all, he himself had driven him away.

So here he was now, in Taiwan. Working his off 24/7 worrying his parents who couldn’t recognize what their once full of life son had become. Finally tired of seeing N like this, Ken and Hyuk had told him countless times about how much Ravi actually liked him, always asking about him when he talked to them but N always avoided any conversation about the man he was hopelessly in love with…It was no use now, Ravi was gone for good and was never coming back. Just like I told him to...

It’s been almost a month since Ravi came back to Sweden. He was extremely stressed out and almost ended up losing his case. Almost. Everyone in the law firm was surprised because of his sudden change. They had never seen him like this. The powerful Kim Ravi, who never once lost his cool, was finally breaking down. His nights were sleepless. He had nightmares of getting lost in blank, dark and cold space all alone, and when he woke up, he sweated like crazy and maybe once or twice, tears also left his eyes. He was on the verge of losing it all but still held on to anything he could...He just missed the tanned male more and more every passing second…every day was agonizing every minute was spent thinking about him, his honey voice and his beautiful self.

One day, he received a call from an unknown number on his personal phone. He picked it up and he heard the voice of the person he didn’t want to hear the most right now, Minhyuk. “What the do you want now?”  “Where the damned hell are you?” Minhyuk spoke calmly but venom cud be felt in his voice. “I’m in Sweden, why? Are you gonna come here now and ruin everything again?” “Just shut the up for once and listen to me you bastard!” Ravi was taken aback by the sudden outburst. “What the heck were you thinking just leaving him like that you piece of ? I thought that maybe, just maybe you could be the one for him but I was wrong. You just left him like that, all broken and shattered into pieces...the brightness of his eyes is gone now because of you! He is like an empty shell who eats and drinks only to survive…If I could, and I PROBABLY CAN…I’ll kill you. Just what were you thinking?!? His eyes said it all. How much he treasured you…how much he loved you but you just had your fun didn’t you? You’re a despicable human- no you’re even lower than that…you despicable piece of bull!!! *beep**beep**beep* He cut off the line. Leaving Ravi frozen in his spot. Slowly tears started streaming down his eyes. He shivered a bit and called Ken, the only person who might not lecture him right now and tell him about N’s whereabouts. As soon as the line went through he shouted on the phone, “KEN WHERE IS N???”   “…Ravi..? What are u doin-its 6 in the morning! wh- “Who is it?” Ravi heard Hyuk’s voice from behind...what are they doing together at this hour? But that isn’t it, “Where is N?” “N? Wh- “JUST TELL ME WHERE IS HE GODDAMMIT!”  “N-hyung is in Taiwan right now”  “Okay got it thanks man”  “HEY WORMSHIK-HYUNG! GOOD LUCK!” Ravi smiled and immediately called his secretary to book a flight to Taiwan ASAP. Yes he was gonna go and see N…He was finally gonna get his feelings through no matter what. That’s the least he can do for hurting him...He should’ve known that because of his y attitude, N was surely gonna avoid talking about his true feelings…yet he was so blind and he hated himself for it. So now, he found the earliest flight, packed a few belongings and boarded the plane as soon as he could.
One thing he was sure about was that he was gonna tell N how much he loved him and was going nowhere until the older male forgave and accepted him. It was only when he was standing in front of the villa that belonged to N that Ravi realized that he didn’t know what to say when he finally met N. His heart was beating like crazy or maybe it stopped and his palms were sweaty. What if he doesn’t accept me? I don’t care I’ll hold onto him until he does…and so with that determination in mind he rang the bell. Twice, thrice. Finally a middle-aged lady opened the door, she dressed well so she was definitely not a servant. “Yes?” oh it’s his mother...the eyes are the same “Um...I’m H-Hakyeon’s friend...is he inside?”  “..Yes he is in his room, come inside dear” and so he went inside “I havent seen u before..." "Ah yes..w-we met at Taekwoon-hyung's