Chapter 7 :Utakata Hanabi

After the weepy episode that happened previously, YeonAe was surprised that she could still manage to absorb whatever the teachers were speaking about during the lessons. She’d half anticipated herself to zone out, gaze outside the window and went wherever her mind was taking her, or to the very least, fell asleep.

Amazingly, she paid attention to the classes as if nothing had happened before. She’d never known that she could be so engrossed in History, that she set her eyes on her teacher looking interested for the first time.

Even some of her classmates stared at her strangely, knowing that she’d been absent from school for so long and they too knew of her loss of late. None of them ever knew that much about YeonAe except for the need-to-know basis, so they supposed that YeonAe was okay now in view of her was back at school.

Not a single soul in the class bothered to ask YeonAe how she was doing, and the girl couldn’t care less. She knew from her first day of school itself that every student there looked at her as if she was an alien, and why it was so, she never knew.

It wasn’t as if she’d done anything wrong or harmed them in any way, after all. The only person who was nice to her in the school was YiXing, and now that he was no longer around, she was the lonely YeonAe again.

Time flew faster than she’d expected, and she was so pleased to know that school time ended already. To be honest, YeonAe didn’t think that she could handle any more stares from her classmates or pitiful glances from her teachers.

In some way, it wasn’t helping her at all and she detested it. She hated her classmates and she hated her teachers, who tried to show pity towards her. The students never spared her a glimpse before, and acted as if she was non-existent. Now they all had their eyes on her, as if she just grew a pair of horns on her head.

She almost snorted at the thought.

YeonAe already kept in mind that if someone came up to her and told her that he or she felt bad for her and understood what she felt, YeonAe was going to high-five that person’s face with anything close to her. Except if, that person was a teacher, of course.

YeonAe sprinted out of her class the second the teacher said they were excused, and she kept running to who knew where. She didn’t really have a destination in mind, but she knew that she didn’t want to go home just yet.

So she just ran across the passages, then out of the building to the school’s field while disregarding the penetrating glares from the scholars and some of the teachers. She even caught a few of their voices.

“What’s wrong with her? Has she gone senseless?”

“Maybe they should just lock her up at home.”

“What was her parents thinking, letting her to come to school if something is wrong inside her head?”

“This is the first time our school has a cracked student.”

No , Sherlock. YeonAe thought to herself. I really am about to get cracked right now and ready to explode into nothing.

Upon reaching the middle of the field, YeonAe stopped, and took in few deep breaths while trying to slow down her heartbeat. She didn’t know why the heck she had to run like a maniac in the school’s corridors like that, but somehow, she felt satisfied.

By running as fast as she could like that, she felt as if she was running away from all her sorrow and grieves, leaving them all behind.

If only she could really do it. If only she could really run away from whatever was upsetting her. If only she could run away from her own feelings, and from herself.

She breathed in the cold evening air and took in the smell of the grass, appreciating the moment of being alone with not a single person around. It was already time to go home, why would any person want to be at the school field for no reasonable reason.

Except for YeonAe, of course.

She closed her eyes and spread her arms wide, while standing right under the sunlight. She imagined herself being a tree, soaking in the light as if it would give her energy. Being cooped up in the house for so long made her yearn for the taste of sunlight against her skin, and now she got it.

The wind surrounded her and blew her long hair away from her face, and for a moment YeonAe thought that if the wind could just blow a little stronger, then maybe she could fly like a bird.

Perhaps it was too bright out in the open field, or it could be because she cried so much that she believed something was wrong with her eyes, then again as YeonAe opened her eyes once more, she can see YiXing clearly right before her.

He was just standing there, not far from a cherry blossom tree, the only cherry blossom tree their school had but merely a few of them really appreciated its presence. He had his hands in his pocket, looking at the bloomed cherry blossom tree or also known as Sakura, as the misty rose petals fell from the tree and landed not far from him.

He picked up some of them, holding them ever so gently in his hands as if it was the most delicate thing on earth.

A tranquil, yet gratified smile stamped on his face as he turned to look at her and YeonAe straightaway beamed back upon seeing dimples on each side of his cheek. She’d missed seeing those dimples so much, especially when he gave her such smile.

It was as if he knew that she was behind him, and YeonAe recollected that YiXing often told her that he would always be a few steps away from her, no matter where she went. And perhaps YiXing believed the same too, that YeonAe would always be close.

The girl stayed at where she was. She thought that if she stood completely still, the moment might last endlessly. YiXing was wearing the T-Shirt that his mom gave him for his birthday a couple of years ago, and YeonAe remembered just how much he loved that shirt.

He lent it to her every so often, but most of the time YeonAe didn’t dare to wear it as to not spoil it. She knew just how precious the T-Shirt was to YiXing.

Turning back to the cherry-blossomed tree, YiXing said, The tree is so beautiful, isn’t it?

Yes.

The petals have different shades of pink. Flamingo Pink, Light Pink, and Pink Daisy. Hmm. Why do I know which petal is which pink? It’s not like I like pink after all.

I miss you so much, YiXing. You not being here is like illusory to me.

Do you know that in Japan, cherry blossoms symbolize the metaphor of the ephemeral nature of life?

It hurts so badly, YiXing. My heart hurts. If I could, I would’ve screamed and screamed so that the pain would eventually go away.

They represent the delicateness and gorgeousness of life. They have extreme beauty, and a quick death. Just like lifespan, don’t you think?

What’d I do to have you here, YiXing? I feel like I’m going to lose my mind.

It’s like a cue that life is almost tremendously beautiful, but that it is terribly short. Every living thing on earth will eventually die, and it’s just a matter of time. No matter how high your position is in this world, or how respectable you are, in the end you will have to face the final phase in life called death.

He turned to her. His big clear eyes, his crooked smile. Somehow, his smile seemed sad, and he looked at her with heavy sadness hanging to it. A sharp pain shot up YeonAe’s chest, and she’d forgotten how to breathe. That’s why it’s important for us to live our life to the fullest. Because we never know when the time comes for us to leave everything that we have in this world.

It hurt for her to look anymore and so YeonAe shut her eyes. When she opened them, the field was silent and empty like when she first came. YiXing was gone again.

YeonAe looked at the cherry-blossomed tree, remembering YiXing’s words that were still ringing inside her head like a record, and slowly walked away with silent tears falling from her eyes.

She walked away from the premises, and noticed that most of the students were no longer in the school except for some teachers and those who stayed back for who knew what. YeonAe kept walking until she was out of the school gate, thoughts were still on YiXing but she only managed to walk a few steps away from her school when someone called her from behind.

“Lee YeonAe-ssi?”

YeonAe stopped and turned after hearing an unfamiliar voice called her, and stared in confusion as a teenage boy about her age walked up to her, and stopped two meters away from where she was.

“Yes?” YeonAe asked uneasily, wondering how this boy knew her name when she didn’t even know him in the first place. YeonAe looked at his school badge, which was on his uniform and noticed that he wasn’t a student from her school, so it was only natural of her not to know who he was.

“Can I help you?” YeonAe asked again, seeing that the boy wasn’t answering her first question. But then, he didn’t answer her second question either. “You know Kim TaeHyung, right?” The boy asked her back, and YeonAe frowned deeper at the taciturnity of his manner of voice.

Not only didn’t he answer her, but also he even asked her a question himself and that made YeonAe feel irritated. They didn’t even know each other and now he was regarding her as if she caused some trouble to him. It was evident enough by the way he looked at her.

However, she answered him nonetheless, “I know of him, though not as much as a friend would. We aren’t even that close but just studying at the same school.” Her answer was short, and YeonAe wondered whether she’d revealed too much.

She didn’t even know what this person wanted from Kim TaeHyung, or the boy himself even knew him, and YeonAe hoped that he did.

The mysterious boy only kept quiet and stared at her for about a minute, and then said, “I don’t care whether you know him well or not, but I just want you to stay away from him.”

His words ticked her off, and YeonAe lost her cool. “What?”

“You heard me, you aren’t tone-deaf. Just stay away from Kim TaeHyung. I don’t want you to have anything to do with him, or even being close to him. If you know him now, I want you to no longer know him. Easy job right?” The boy said again, looking as conceited as ever and that particular look on his face was what made YeonAe feel like wanting to punch him at the moment.

“What’s your freaking deal?” YeonAe snapped, and if her eyes saw correctly, the boy flinched for just the tiniest bit. “Who are you to tell me to stay away from anyone? I don’t even know you and I’m sure you don’t know me too