Chapter 16: Hasta Manana

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration,
And let it go."

Ms. Zhang was just about to enter her home when her phone vibrated; indicating that she’d received a message. She took her phone out and read the message, at the same time taking off her shoes and a small smile formed on her face.

It was from none other than YeonAe, telling her that she would be back a bit later as she was following TaeHyung to meet up with his friends. Ms. Zhang typed a quick reply, hoping that she would have fun and as usual, reminding her to be home before six.

Ms. Zhang beamed to herself, as she the heater, happy that YeonAe was just about ready to meet some other people and probably start making friends too. Since TaeHyung was there as well, Ms. Zhang was sure that YeonAe would be just fine. The first time they planned to meet TaeHyung’s friends, YeonAe had backed out at the last minute, saying that she wasn’t ready. Ms. Zhang hoped that she was now.

She couldn’t wait to hear what YeonAe had to say about it once she’d got home, considering that the meeting went well. If it didn’t, well, Ms. Zhang had known her long enough to know that something was wrong just from the look on her face. In any case, she prayed that YeonAe would give the meeting a shot and tried to be a bit more open about it. She cannot be avoiding people forever.

Since YeonAe wouldn’t be home until about dinner, Ms. Zhang decided to make a simple lunch for herself. Regularly she’d be making a hearty meal for YeonAe to get her weight back to normal, and lately she’d noticed that YeonAe was slowly starting to get her appetite back.

She wondered what YiXing, her son, would say if he saw YeonAe not eating properly and that her weight had dropped. Knowing him, it would be a full 2-hour lecture and she doubted that YeonAe would even listen. She might be ignoring him on the purpose of seeing YiXing getting mad. As much as she loved him, she really enjoyed getting a rise out of him at times, because it was so difficult to see YiXing being in an angry state. And YiXing was very particular about eating properly and healthily.

Ms. Zhang laughed to herself as she remembered her son. Oh, how she’d missed him. Not a day went by that she didn’t think of him, and she’d kept him deep inside her heart, next to a hole that would never be filled again. The image of him would stay etched inside her mind forever, that bright smile of his and his dimple on his right cheek.

Once she was done with her lunch, she was just about to start on the house chores when there was a knock on the door. Ms. Zhang frowned as she looked at the clock on the wall and walked towards the front door.

Could it be YeonAe? But it hadn’t even been an hour though. Had she given up yet again? Or maybe she returned home to pick something up? Had she changed her mind about the meeting while they were on their way there? Like last time?

Questions after questions raced inside her mind, and at that moment, the only thing she could think of was to see YeonAe bursting inside the house, making her way straight to her bedroom while uttering incoherent things. She was bracing herself for that, but instead, she found nothing when she opened the door.

The empty hallway greeted her, and she looked to the left and right for the sight of YeonAe. Nope, no YeonAe. Ms. Zhang groaned as she thought of the possibility that it could be the naughty kids’ doing, as she’d heard of late that there were a number of mischievous lads who liked to prank the neighbors by simply ringing their doorbell or knocking the door. 

Ms. Zhang was about to close the door when she saw an envelope on the floor, right in front of her. She frowned as she contemplated whether or not to pick the envelope up, as the thought of the shoebox she kept secretly inside her room resurfaced. Memories from that day she saw the contents in the box spun through her head like a sickening kaleidoscope.

She wanted to just close the door, ignoring the envelope but her curiosity got the best of her. She picked it up, looked along the hallways once more just to see whether she could get glimpses of who might put the envelope there, but the hallways was empty and dead quiet.

Ms. Zhang quickly closed the door, locking it, even, as tendrils of fear began to coil her heart. She stayed in the same spot, anchored by the profound as her fingers ever so gently tore the envelope, dying to see what was inside as curiosity hummed through her.

Only her name was written at the front of the envelope, and nothing about the sender. She had a very strong feeling that this was the same person who’d sent her the pictures previously, and it took her a lot of time to get over it.

She carefully took out the substances in the envelope and caught her breath. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she scanned one photo from the other, and a small flower of apprehension began to open inside her heart. Ms. Zhang had guessed right, it was the same person and the whole situation was beginning to take on an air of absurdity.

Who sent these to her? And why? What did this person want? She wondered whether she should report this to the police but she knew next to nothing about who the sender might be, and what his or her motive. She couldn’t recall being in bad terms with anyone, and fear sparked through her veins as she thought of the only few people who’d know about her past.

She casted an eye over each photograph and as much as she wanted to smile upon them, she couldn’t shake the ice-cold wire threaded its way down her spine once she’d noticed a folded white paper inside the envelope. She thought she had taken everything out from the envelope, but it seemed that she’d missed the paper.

She took it out, and with a long intake of breath, Ms. Zhang unfolded it, only to be greeted with a short, typed letter. How fitting, she thought, by typing the letter no one would be able to tell whose handwriting was it.

With her heart trying to break through her ribcage with its relentless pounding, her eyes went straight to the first sentence, which was nothing warm at all.

Seen the pictures? What do you make of it?

He looked as happy as can be, didn’t he? He smiled, as if there was nothing wrong in the world, or anything to worry about.

He looked like he was enjoying his life, as if the world was on his side and he was on top of it.

But what a shame, though. He didn’t have a damn clue that the happiness he’s feeling at the moment, someone else is suffering for it right as we speak. But he never knew, and he will never know.

That is such a shame.

If he knew what had happened, he wouldn’t be all smiles, or living his life as a good son to you.

He would’ve turned out to be a completely different person.

For his smile, someone else paid for it with tears. And while he was being all happy, someone else was still struggling to carry on his life because of what you did.

Yes.You.

Being the selfish person you are you wouldn’t probably remember what you did all those years ago. You probably can’t recall the mess you created and all the crap you left behind. Well, maybe you still can’t remember, so let me help you.

Your first and only marriage, with a man you claimed to love, and bore his son who is dead by now. Such a happy family you used to have, and while you were happy with your husband and son, another woman was suffering for what you did.

Yes, I am sure by now you know of whom I am referring.

You took her happiness; you took everything away from her the minute you married the love of her life.

Why did you do that? Why did you take someone else’s husband, someone else’s father? Did you not think about how they might feel?

What did she ever do to you for you to take her husband away from her? You would never understand how painful it was, to live every single day in a lie. Can you imagine how difficult it was for her to bear every single day, alone, while she was with child when her husband was off with someone else?

But of course, her husband wouldn’t tell her because it must’ve been you who forced him to do so. Things would get out of hand, if she found out the truth, and you wanted to keep the father of the child you carried.

So he fed her with lies. For years, he gave her reasons as to why he was hardly ever home and she believed every single freaking word of it. She’d always known that there was no love in him for her, but she continued hoping because she loved him.

Have you no shame? Well, you probably don’t have any self-worth otherwise; you wouldn’t barge into someone else’s marriage and destroy it, not to mention leaving without a word after the damages you had done.

It would probably make you happy now to know that the woman whose life you shattered is now dead. She took her life right in front of her son, who never had the chance to taste the love from his parents. He almost died too, just so you know, but he managed to survive, as much as he wished that he was dead too.

The father he barely saw never cared about him as much, not that he ever did ever since he was in his mother’s womb.

The world wouldn’t be a better place if everyone keeps doing things as they like, so now, you have to pay for all the things that you did. Then there would be justice, and it is to teach you that no one could get away from something horrible that he or she has done, no matter how far you run.

And you definitely have to pay the price for the mistake you did,