Chapter 18: A Time For Letting Go

“The night is long, the night is cold.
With nothing to believe in, just hold on, 
'Cause life goes on.
Your new day is waiting, let go and let it begin.”

He was just playing a game on his phone, quietly in his room when the door barged open and a figure entered. The boy didn’t even flinch and his eyes remained fixed on his phone screen, as if he was used to this by now. He was already accustomed with the stranger’s way of entering his room, and couldn’t be bothered to yell at him for not knocking.

“We need to talk.” The stranger said, with arms akimbo, and even though the boy didn’t spare him a glance, he could see from the corner of his eyes that the stranger was glaring at him. That look wasn’t anything new, anyway.

“You should’ve knocked first.” The boy said, still playing his video game. It was until he heard an annoyed groan coming from the stranger that he finally stopped playing and shifted his attention towards his guest.

A sly smile formed on his face as it was no other than his friend, who, as always, had an unhappy look on his face. “Won’t you smile for once?” The boy asked, and the friend rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Stop beating around the bush. We have something very important to discuss.”

The boy sat up straighter and looked at his friend, who was wearing his favorite cap, which he gave once. “What about?” He asked, and Cap Boy ran a hand through his hair as he stepped closer to the boy’s bed.

“Stop doing what you’re doing this instant.” He said with gritted teeth. “Please, whatever you’re planning, just stop it. I care about you not only as my friend, but also as my brother. I don’ want you to do something that you might regret.”

The boy looked at his friend with narrowed eyes, and whatever cunning smile he had earlier was gone and replaced by his usual expression, cold, dark and filled with hurt. “If you really care,” he said, “you would let me do this. It’s the only way for me to be at peace, for me to throw away all of this anger and grudge. You would never understand because it’s not happening to you.”

He stood up, and now standing face to face with Cap Boy and he looked at him squarely in the eyes. “And I won’t forget to mention that you were the one who’d been approaching her these days, weren’t you?” He asked, and he could see Cap Boy’s eyes avoided his.

“You’re going to hurt many people.” Cap Boy said, his voice softened, while trying so hard to make his friend change his mind. “I may not know what you’re planning but whatever it is, don’t do it. Don’t hurt others, and don’t hurt yourself. You can get yourself out of this without having to have a revenge. And she has nothing to do with this!”

“Of course she has!” The boy snapped, and Cap Boy took a step back out of shock. “Like it or not, she is involved with this too. She was his girlfriend and his mother treasures her too. No matter what, she’s already related to them and I want that woman to know what it really feels like to see the one you love being taken away from you, right in front of your eyes.”

“The woman you’re talking about has already lost her son.” Cap Boy replied sternly, trying to coat his words with firmness. “The child she carried for nine months was taken from her forever, leaving behind only her mother and now depressed girlfriend. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“No.” The boy said. “It will never be enough until I take all of them down. That woman caused my mother a great amount of agony and during the course of the days when she was still alive, she was already dead inside. She also took everything away from me. My mother was a maniac and my father left, I was all alone having no one to turn to. You have no idea how scary it was to hear her screeching every single night, questioning whether you’re actually living with a ghost or your own mom. And that moment when you started calling for your dad, hoping he would come help you that was when you came to realize that he was away warming someone else’s bed and caring for his other son. That other boy had to live happily with my dad under his roof but me; I had to live through the horror of being in the same house as my mother. That woman who gave birth to me was not my mother anymore.”

He turned away and walked towards the window, his breathing was rapid. He coiled his fingers into a fist while trying to hold back the desire of punching the window. He wouldn’t care if his fingers bled, it wouldn’t amount to the number of pain he had.

“Her son’s death was a tragedy, but that had just made my work a whole lot easier. All that is left to take care of are the two women he held dear in his life. It’s unfortunate for the girl, to be entangled in this mess, but it’s one of the ways to teach that woman her lesson.” He added, and Cap Boy sighed in desperation.

He loved his friend, he cared for him, and he didn’t want him to drown further in his own misery. He can get out of this, he really can. He just had to stop thinking about making the ones responsible for his agony to pay. He had to see that in order to be happy, he had to let go of all the things that made him sad. No matter how hard it was.

With a soft voice, Cap Boy asked, “Has it ever occurred to you, that maybe all of this isn’t her doing?” It sounded like a whisper, but he knew the boy could hear him. “You’ve been blaming her for years, even including the girl who has nothing to do with this, but yet have you considered hearing her side of the story? Perhaps she never wanted this to happen too. Don’t let your fury clouds your judgement. For all you know, she’s hurting because of this too. Maybe she’s not the one responsible.”

“You don’t get to talk to me about my judgement. No matter what, things would’ve been different if she never came into our lives. Or better yet, it would’ve been a whole lot different if she never appeared in front of my father.”

“Would it?” Cap Boy dared himself to ask, though he knew his next question could probably cost his life. “Would it be different if she never came? Would your dad still learn to love your mother even if that woman never came into the picture?”

“He didn’t need to learn to love her, because he really did!” The boy shouted, and Cap Boy knew that his aunt would be wondering what was going on from downstairs. “If that despicable woman never came, he would continue to love my mother! And he would continue to love me! And none of this would ever have happened. I would still have my parents, and I wouldn’t be living with someone else!”

“I don’t mean anything by what I’m going to say, but you and I both know that he never wanted your mom. It was forced, and you know it.” Cap Boy replied, and no answer was forthcoming from his friend for a few moments. The room sank into silence, complete and absolute.

“If you value our friendship and your life, you will leave this room right now.” The boy said instead, making Cap Boy gulped in alarm. He’d never said those things to him before, and having to hear him say such a thing, it broke his heart. The boy had never threatened his life before, and while knowing that he won’t do Cap Boy any harm as of now, his heart still shattered into million pieces.

He can’t believe he’d lost him.

He’d lost his friend to vengeance.

Cap Boy shook his head and slowly made his way towards the door, with his friend still facing his back towards him, watching as the Sun finally touched the horizon, making its way for the moon to take over for the night.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself. And this, whatever it is you’re doing, is going to wound you even more. That hole inside your heart won’t disappear by doing this. Trust me, it’s going to break you apart the minute you see tears falling from her eyes once she’s found out what you’re doing.”

With that, he walked out, hoping that eventually the light would penetrate the darkness in his friend’s heart, and gave him the peace he so long desired.

After tossing and turning for God knows how many times, Y