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The 7th Handful of Love

I silently laid in bed like I had been for the past two minutes. Donghae had just left the room and I let some tears escape as I pulled my duvet to cover my body completely. I was shivering from fear. I couldn’t get a wink of sleep knowing that he had just me and was sleeping soundlessly beside me without saying anything after asking me that question. Why did he do that? I couldn’t seem to remember what I said two years ago that he wanted to hear. Heck, I said a lot of things to him two years ago… he couldn’t have been more expressive.

I wrapped the duvet around me and got out of bed and started to rummage through the clothes that were piled on the ground. When I found what I wanted to wear, I got dressed and went to the bathroom to clean my face up. I still had some make up on from last night and even though my mascara and eyeliner was waterproof, it still ended up smudging a little but I wasn’t surprised. With the amount of tears I had last night and just now, it was inevitable.

I sighed when I was walking back to my bedroom. I saw a suitcase that caught my eye. I walked over to it and opened it while looking at all my belongings. Slowly, I started to place them inside my suitcase. I grabbed a couple of big bags and put the smaller things inside there and put them on my shoulders. With my entire luggage, I walked down the stairs to the front door quietly, trying to make as little sound as possible.

I could hear food being cooked in the kitchen and it was probably Donghae. It was too early for the maid to come. I opened the front door and left, closing it quietly behind me.

/

I arrived at the office and headed towards Kyuhyun, my secretary. Who says a secretary always had to be female?

“Whoa, Jess! What’s up with the luggage? Did Donghae kick you out after last night?” He asked with an expression which asked me for a punch. Which he did get. I punched him as hard as I could but it wasn’t exactly hard because the bags on my arms were so heavy.

“So, are you going to help me or not?”

He simply just smiled and I glared at him, making him actually get out of his seat. He took the three bags off my shoulders and opened my office door. I walked behind him as I pulled my suitcase with me.

I let out a deep breath. “What did Sunny tell you?”

“She said you’re a lying, cheating cow.”

I put my head down as I sad down on the sofa opposite my desk.

“Ooops… Was I too direct?”

“No, it’s alright. Did she say anything else?”

“She said that Donghae’s one of the biggest idiots she has met in her life and doesn’t understand how she and Taeyeon could be related to such a love struck guy.”

“Whoa, that’s some juicy stuff right there!” Eunhyuk sat beside me with his gummy grin plastered on his face.

“If I wasn’t tired, I’d punch you because that gummy smile… oh that gummy smile… makes me angry just saying it.” I said and he moved over to the other side and I laughed.

So, I guess Donghae had to make up a lot of lies to Taeyeon and Sunny to come across as someone who was love struck. I would ask him about what his story was because it would be off if I said something entirely different but… not after last night. I love him, but I’m not forgiving him.

“So, what’s up with the luggage Jess?”

“Let’s just say Donghae doesn’t know about it yet, so don’t tell him anything or I’ll deduct your pay!”

“Wha… WHAT?! You can’t do that!”

“I can do that!”

“Oh, yes – she can do that!” Kyuhyun said.

“But I have nappies to buy! And I have to feed my mean wife too!” Eunhyuk whined.

“Not my fault you didn’t use contraception nor you chose to be with my cousin.” I remarked and he furrowed his brows. I would have laughed but I couldn’t. Donghae didn’t use it last night either. Ugh, why isn’t everything happening months before? It wouldn’t be as complicated as it was.

/

“Hello, Siwon?” I said through the phone. I still felt awkward after that conversation with him before because I had indirectly rejected him but it wasn’t time for that.

“I’ve decided on what treatment I want to go through with. Could you put it into place as soon as possible though?”

“Sure, which one is it?”

“I want to go with Interleukin 2.” I said.

“Alright, that was what I expected you to choose anyway. I can arrange it right away and we can begin tomorrow if you’re fine with it.”

“I am.”

“Do you need me to talk to your parents this time to give you time off?”

“No… I need to speak to them anyway.”

“Oh, and Sica… I just want to warn you – this is a rough journey. It’s going to be for five consecutive days. Do you want Yoona to be there for you? You will eventually need someone.”

I stayed quiet for a while before answering him. “I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t want her to worry.”

/

I quietly ate my dinner with Heechul beside me and my parents in front of me. I had just asked for a break and it seemed like they were wondering how to continue the awkward conversation.

“Jess, Siwon told me you’re going to take on the treatment from tomorrow onwards. Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?” My dad asked.

“Uhm… yeah. I will and actually, I’m here to talk about something else too.” I looked at all three of them looking at me eagerly. “I want to get a divorce with Donghae and move away from here.”

Heechul spat out the wine he was drinking onto my left cheek, my dad choked on the food he was eating and my mum shook her head in disappointment.

“Girl, what are you on about? Aren’t you mad for him?” Heechul said as he grabbed my shoulder.

“I am.” I suddenly remembered how they all though we were both mutually in love. “But I did something terrible so it’s only fair that we end it. So… can I?”

“Of course you can, dear. I’ll always support your decision.” My mum said and I meekly smiled. She was always understanding even if she didn’t know the situation well enough, she had always believed in me.

“Jessica Jung, you’re always doing things that lasts for three minutes, will you grow up? Divorce? I thought marriage was crazy, this is just outrageous!” My dad yelled.

“Oh, shut up will you. Jessie dear, where do you want to go?”

“I don’t care. Ship me off somewhere that I can clear my mind please. Oh, and as for Donghae – please leave him after this… like… don’t do anything bad to him and his family, please.”

“I bet he did something mean to you Jessie, tell me – and I’ll beat him up for you!”

“Heechul, you and Yoona are too alike. Stop dating each other so I can get a guarantee of no mini Heechul and Yoona’s!” Yeah, Yoona and Heechul dating, it shocked me as well. It’s totally not what anyone would expect because they’re both as violent and hot headed as each other. I swear they always argue whenever they’re together, but then again… they found love that way, through their bickering…

“What? I was being such a cool brother and you dare say such a thing?” He rolled up his sleeves and was starting to get out of his seat. I looked at my parents for help but they just laughed it off, including my dad. I got out of my chair too and ran out the room.

“JESSICA JUNG! YOU GET YOUR BUTTOCKS BACK HERE RIGHT AWAY OR I’LL MAKE SURE YOU END UP IN THREE PIECES!”

/

I stared out the window and watched my parents have a conversation outside in the back garden on the love bench. They swung back and forth.

I my phone and ignored the number of missed calls that I had. I went through my contacts to look for Tiffany and dialled her number.

“Hello? Tiff?”

“Oh my gosh! Sica! JESSICA JEESSSSSIIIIIIEEEEEEE! Are you seriously calling me?”

“Yeah, and I have a favour that only you can help me with.” I smiled through the phone.

“Wait a moment, we gotta get this on 3G, I need to see the beauty that is you!” She squealed and I pulled the phone away from my ear to turn on the video camera. There she was with her beautiful smile and smiling eyes through my screen.

“So what’s the favour?”

“Can we meet up first? If it’s not too late for you…”

“Uhm, alright. Now though?”

“Yeah, now.”

“Sure! It’s only 7pm anyway! But you gotta come to my office though! We have loads to catch up on!” She squealed again and I laughed at her childishness. Oh, how I missed this cousin I grew up with. “Oh, and Jung Jessica!”

I shook my head at her calling me in that way, I was too used to everyone calling me Jessica Jung.

“Yes?”

“Give me a blow kiss, and tell Heechul he’s gotten uglier.”

I heard a piercing scream from behind me and looked back. It was Heechul. He grabbed the phone from me and started shouting curse words at her, she did the same too.

If there was something I loved the most in the world, it was my family. If there were two, it would be my family and Donghae. I would do anything for them, and it was time I did. It was time I matured and did things the correct way even if it means that I am not the one to be happy in the end.

/

“Okay, now – tell me again what your favour was?”

“I need you to get all the technical things sorted for the divorce for me and Donghae so all he needs to do is sign the paper.”

She shook her head again, stared at me, and then massaged her temples.

“I cannot comprehend your madness, Sica.”

“Well, trrrrrrrrry to!” I said, batting my eyelids at her.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying when you do that.”

“Only because you know you can’t help but help me when I do it!” I said and did it again with a pout this time.

“But Donghae is like my bestestestestest friend that is a guy…” She tried to persuade me not to but I shook my head.

“You’re helping me and you’ll receive your check for it tomorrow. Your deadline to finish this is in a week’s time, a week because I know you’re busy handling others and their divorces.”

“Jess, why am I a lawyer again?”

I thought about it and smiled. “Because Heechul said you would never be able to become one?”

“Anyway, YOU! Treat my Hyukkie better!” She randomly changed the subject and I shook my head before furrowing my brows.

“You treat him better yourself! Fany baby, look at the time. It’s past ten already and your favourite hubby Hyukkie is probably waiting at you alone in the living room, tired after putting Seohyun to sleep.”

After a couple more bickers, Tiffany wanted me to tell her what I’d recently been up to, I told her everything minus anything related to Siwon and Donghae and my cancer. She then started whining about Eunhyuk but I shut her up half way through to remind her about the time. It was past midnight and I knew Eunhyuk would still be awake, waiting for her to come home safely.

I made my way to Yoona’s home slightly worried about how she would react to what I was going to tell her but she deserved to know anyway. Plus, she needs to apologise about slapping me. I mean, I’m fine with it – but apology please! She should be the last person to do that.

I took out the keys to her apartment and made my way in. The living room door was opened and I walked through. I literally stopped breathing. I moved backwards in shocked and closed my eyes, wishing that I was only just dreaming. I opened them again but nothing changed.

“Oh my god, Jess… I’m so sorry.” Yoona said, coming closer to me.

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, save it for Heechul.”

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Thanks to ah_thien and lalagrl for subscribing~!

sicabias: Haha, for sure there won't be any dying! Haha, I'm not going to reveal what Sica said to Hae two years ago but yeah, another cliff hanger here!

zeidyris: Teehee, I think a lot of my readers want to know badly too!

choki2lovejessi: Haha, what she said two years ago if for Donghae to know, Sica to remember and me to write! LOL. Anyway, nahh - that kind of thing is just cheesy but it might be!

mar5122: Hehe, like I said to loads of other readers - I'm not gonna reveal what she said two years ago until a long long time.

kawaiipanda95: Thank you for the compliment <3