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The 5th Handful of Love

My eyes brimmed with tears as Siwon helped me off the ground and checked my arms to see if I was hurt but I was alright. I looked at the two who had just slapped me. I tried to blink away the tears but they just came crashing down when I realised Donghae would only have had slapped me because he was acting. I had just kissed another man, in front of him and his sisters. I looked at Yoona who was also with them, she too had slapped me.

“What were you two doing?” Donghae yelled and I jumped. Siwon put his arm around me.

“Nothing happened, why are you so angry for?”

“You two just kissed and you expect me to let it go? SHE’S MY WIFE AND YOU’RE HER FRIEND.” He raised his voice even louder. The words I wanted to say weren’t coming out.

“Leave him alone, Donghae.” I said, trying to be calm.

“Jessica, why did you do that?” Yoona asked. I quickly wiped away the tears and turned to face her. “Stay out of this, please.” I said and she just looked at me in disbelief before turning away in the direction she had come from. Sunny was coming over to me while I looked over to see Donghae and Siwon arguing.

Siwon threw a punch at Donghae’s face and I held onto Siwon after Donghae pushed him back before Sunny and Taeyeon ran over to him.

“Jessica!” Taeyeon shouted and I diverted my attention to them. “Why are you over on that guys side? You’re supposed to be over here, with the guy who was punched – not the guy who was punching your husband!”

I didn’t move and still held onto Siwon. I glanced up at to him and I realised his lip was bleeding. It was obvious that Donghae had punched him before Siwon retaliated because Siwon isn’t the kind to do that, he is a gentleman. Unless you fire him up, he wouldn’t react violently.

I took a deep breath and looked at the three opposite me.

“I’m going to take Siwon home.” I stated and held onto Siwon’s waist, trying to nudge him to move but he was being stubborn. When I glared at him, he finally moved.

We were slowly walking away and I could hear Sunny and Taeyeon calling after me. I glanced over my shoulder when they stopped to see the three of them walking inside but Donghae suddenly turned back and our eyes met. It was the first time I saw that look in his eye and I quickly turned away, and faced the front again. My heart was racing again and I couldn’t understand nor comprehend any of my actions from the past few minutes.

/

“Jessica… are you going to tell me the truth?” Siwon asked and I looked up at him confused. We were sitting on a bench outside his apartment in the cold at 2am.

“What do you mean?”

“You and Donghae… there’s something off about you two. You’re hiding something from me.” He said and I sighed.

“You want to know the truth?”

He nodded and I let out another sigh.

“We’re in a fake relationship, he hates me. We were only acting, we rarely talk and he’s even said to me how much he hates me. For the whole year, until yesterday – he was dating Yuri while being ‘married’ to me.” I looked up at the sky and Siwon stayed quiet.

After a long while of silence, Siwon broke it. “How does he treat you in reality then?”

I smiled to myself. “He ignores me, he calls me inappropriate things, we don’t share a room and he doesn’t want to breathe the air near me. You can imagine yourself…”

“Does he know about your cancer?”

I smiled again but facing him and shook my head.

“Who else knows about your real relationship then?”

“It was just Yoona, now you too.”

“Not even your parents?”

I shook my head.

“I thought I could change his mind about me…” I began. “but he hated me more. There were times where I told myself to give up, but he’d always turn up and I wouldn’t be able to.” I bit onto my lips. “The way he treated me… I wanted to cry and tell him how much it hurt, but I couldn’t… I didn’t want his sympathy. I don’t want him to know about my cancer because I don’t want him to treat me better because I might just die since he’s guilty.”

“Is he why you want to die instead?”

I forced a bitter smile. “Yeah… I might as well be dead. I’ve experienced everything I wrote on my list four years ago when I was first diagnosed with the cancer, except to have a man in love with me – in which I will never experience.”

“You can tick that off your list.”

“Huh?”

“Because I love you. If you give me the chance, I can do a hundred times better than Donghae.” He said as he looked me straight in the eye. I smiled. “Thank you, but I think I should tell you that I’ve never been acting with Donghae. Everything came from the heart; it was just him acting on his own. I’m sorry Siwon.”

I started to get up from the bench. “It’s getting late, I’ll be heading home since it’s way past midnight.”

“How about I take you back?”

“No, it’s alright. You’re home anyway.” I said while walking off without looking back.

“Wait up!” He called and I stopped to turn around. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Rush of the moment, I’m sorry if I confused you.”

/

I pushed the door to my bedroom open and sighed before turning on the light beside the door. I turned around to close the door behind me and turned back around. I jumped a little when I saw Donghae sleeping there on my bed. Once again, my heart was racing as I watched him peacefully sleeping.

What was he doing there? I found somewhere else to look at in my room for a couple of seconds until I heard the bed rustling.

“You’re back.” Donghae said, and I looked towards him. He was getting out of my bed and was walking towards me. As he got closer, I gulped and naturally started to move backwards.

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Thanks to im21red for subscribing!

supershineegirls03: Haha, the two someone's were Yoona and Donghae. Siwon does like Sica and she said that in the beginning somewhere, but he does a short confession here haha.

sicabias: Haha, well - Donghae and awesome best friend Yoona slapped our Sica. Here's the update!

sweet_selina: Well, thank you for reading & hope you enjoyed this update too!

choki2lovejessi: Haha, two people slapped her and it was actually Donghae who most people guessed and Yoona! Heh, Donghae's reaction... and it all continues.