I had my lunch quickly before secretly going to the kitchen at the back. It was my first time here. The kitchen itself looked extravagant and clean. Looked like no one ever touched the utensils around. I found a few packs of instant noodle soup and shoved it into my oversized sweaters. As I was about to leave the kitchen, a voice greeted me from behind.

Oh no I’m dead ! It's Jihoon.

“Hi, Shi nae... Do you love instant noodle that much ?”

“Ahh... Yes... Can... can I have it ?” I asked hesitantly.

“Of course you can. Do you need anything else ?” asked Jihoon.

“No. I'm good.”

“Are you sure ?” Jihoon walked closer.

I stepped back when he stepped even closer to me.

Was he crazy ?

It’s really dark in here. I turned my back to leave that place but suddenly Jihoon grabbed my left hand hard. I sensed something was wrong with the man.

“Shi nae, wait !” He then grabbed my right shoulder and made me turn around to face him.

I stumbled toward him, our nose almost touching. I tried to escape from his grip but I failed. He was stronger than me.

“Shi nae... shhh !” He placed his index finger on my lips and tighten his grip on both my shoulder and left hand.

“What are you doing ? It ing hurts !” I shouted a bit.

“Shhh ! Someone’s here !” He said with his low voice. It was creepy somehow.

“So what ?” I shouted louder.

In a flash of light someone jumped from above towards us. I couldn’t see clearly what was happening because of the complete darkness, but I knew Jihoon was being attacked.

Then suddenly someone grabbed my hand and whispered. “Run !”

Even though I wasn’t sure who he was, I thought running from here was the only safe choice I had.

When we finally got out of the kitchen, I could almost recognize who was my savior.

We kept running until we reached the main hall. No one was there. Perhaps they already went back to their rooms. I stabilized my breath after he loosen his gripped on my hand. I knew it was Minwoo. He threw out his mask covering half of his face and screened me. His eye checked me from top to bottom. It was somehow awkward when he paid attention on me.

I hated attention so much.

When he confirmed I was alright, he walked away and left me behind.

Wait ! He was such a weirdo.

Why was he leaving me after just saving me?

I quickly followed after him and sometimes checked over my shoulder to be sure no one would attack me from behind. I needed to be aware this time. I shouldn’t trust anyone right now included Minwoo. 

“Jihoon was such a ing psycho.” Suddenly Minwoo voiced.

“How do you know I was there ?” I threw the question I wanted to ask so badly right now.

But he stayed quiet and refused to answer.

“Thank you.” I think this was my first time thanking someone in my life.

Even though I didn’t know exactly why Minwoo helped me considering we both hated to be included in people’s life. But reality hit me. I helped Minwoo once when I brought food for him during his stay in my room. I helped Junjin once when I accompanied him to the backyard. I helped Eric once too this time. Same just like Minwoo. He helped me too this time.

            I stopped in front of Eric’s room. Minwoo didn't seem to care at all. I was at ease. I looked around again before I entered Eric’s room. He was still sleeping on his couch. I approached him and touched his forehead. His temperature had lowered down a bit. In respond to my touch, Eric forced himself to sit up properly. I assumed he was feeling a bit better now.

“I brought you instant noodle soup. Do you want some ?” I asked.

“No. It’s ok. I’m not hungry now.” He whined a little and rubbed his face.

Damn Eric. How could he reject my special service?

“Oh ok. Make it yourself if you're hungry later.” I ignored him and played at a video game.

“Shi nae...” He called.

“Hmm ?” I responded whith my eyes still focused on the game.

“Have you fallen in love before?” He asked.

“Nope. I don’t believe in love.” I answered honestly.

“What about your parents?” He asked again.

“Nope. Never.” I answered shortly.

“Why ?” He would never give up I guessed.

“Just because.” I still focused on my game.

“You hate your parents that much ?” Eric asked. I nodded. “Do you have bad memories about them ?” That question made me stop my game immediately.

I turned my face to him.

“I don’t like people asking about my life. It’s annoying Eric.” I shot back at him.

“But you are now involved in someone’s life, Shi nae. It’s not fair. I shared about my life but you won't.” He stated.

“I didn’t ask you. You wanted to tell me. You forced me to be here too.” I backed up.

“But still you had a choice.” He said.

Yes. It’s true. I had a choice. I had a choice to not involve myself in anyone’s life. I used to not care about other's life and problems. But surprisingly, the situation changed right now. Anyway, I still hate when people interfere in my business.

“You're actually fragile Shi nae.” Eric concluded.“You actually hate yourself more than you hate people. You're being hypocrite. You lie to yourself that you hate your parents and everyone around you just because you're scared to be hurt. You act like you don’t care about people’s problem just because you believe in love. You don’t want to experience it. You avoid it even though you know the existence of love itself. I don’t know if you have bad memories but I know someone that behaved exactly like you do and I guess you know who that person is too, right?”

I turned my back to him. My heart ached suddenly. The words quenched through my brain, squeezed my spine so hard, and stuffed my chest to the point I wanted to punch anything in front of me right now. I didn’t want to cry. I hated tears. I hated the sad emotions always lingering around my body every time I was feeling lonely. But I loved to be alone rather than face Eric right now. I walked weakly toward the door. It's too shameful to face anyone in my condition right now.

Before I could touch the door’s knob, someone back hugged me. Like being shocked by electricity, my whole body numbed. The contact was warm somehow. For some moment, I cried inwardly before snapping back to reality and freeing myself from Eric. I hated to face him now even more.

I ran out from that room as quickly as I could. I didn’t care anymore if anyone would see me coming out of Eric’s room.

I ran downstairs as fast as possible before stopping in the hallways across to girl’s hostel. My body tired from running too much today after lunch and now. I wanted to cry so badly right now. I hated to see anyone at this moment. I hated every single thing that crossed my mind right now. After I caught back my breath, I walked heavily to my room.

I closed my door and landed my back against the door. I shut my eyes hard. Slowly crystal tears came down from my eyes and flew down my cold cheeks.

My back was still against the door and I didn’t dare to even move right now before I heard someone said, “Hey !”

My heart dropped. I opened my eyes sharply before seeing someone smiling awkwardly at me. Oh no. It was Minwoo. How could he be here ? It was my room, right ?

Instead of rushing to him, I stood there, wiped my remaining tears and asked, “What the hell are you doing here ? It’s illegal to break into people's room.”

“You are doing illegal stuffs too. Crying in front of me.” Minwoo spoke.

“It’s legit.” I replied.

“Night with Eric must be a bad idea.” He said suddenly.

“It wasn't in my plans.” I backed up.

“Eric’s skilled.” He said.

“What ?”

“At making someone cry.” He smirked then.

“You admit it?” I asked back.

“Well, even I hate it.” Minwoo shrugged his shoulder.

“I thought you never cry.” I provoked.

“Like when you think you never cry but you did.” Minwoo smiled.

Damn, I hated this never ending conversation, so I stopped talking right away.

I went straight to the bathroom and washed my face. It felt like I just fell into the mud and slumped on my face. To be exact, this was actually my first time crying in front of someone. Even in the past, I just ran home every time I was annoyed with my parents so that no one could see my tears. Sometimes I cried in my room secretly. Sometimes I went to the playground close to my house at night just to shed my tears. Yes. I was fragile. But I would  never show to people how weak I actually was.

As soon as I came out from the bathroom, Minwoo asked, “Why were you crying just now?”

“It's so unlike you. Eric said you didn’t care about people’s problems. And you still didn’t answer my question how you knew I was in the kitchen after lunch.” I attacked him.

“Hum, if I tell you will you believe me ?” He asked seriously.

“Depends. I don’t usually trust people.” I replied.

“I was actually... I was actually hungry.” He replied.

“ Minwoo. I don’t get why you even helped me with this psycho of Jihoon.” I attacked him again.

“So that I won’t see violence with my own eyes. But you had a choice too. You choose to believe me.” He smirked.

 It’s true. I did have a choice again.

“Eric suspects that Jihoon is the one who attacked the doctor during our first camping night here. Because of that I choose to run away.” I explained.

“You trust Eric too much. He even makes you cry.” Minwoo smiled cynically.

“I don’t trust people just because he never makes me cry.” I replied.

“But you trust me and I think I never made you cry.” Minwoo said.

“I trust you just because Eric trusts you as well. He forces me on his side.” I claimed.

Minwoo chuckled.

“So, why are you crying?” He never gave up.

“I’ll tell you if I find the answer.” I avoided.

“I'll wait then.” He laughed.

 Wait. It was my first time hearing Minwoo's laugh. His eye smile drew perfectly on his face. His irresistible lips flawlessly made his smile shine brightly. His presence itself made me comfortable like I never was in many ways. It made me feel safe as a calm and peaceful atmosphere wrapped around me. I could see happiness on his face. It was a completely new side of Minwoo I could enjoy with ease.

No wonder why Minwoo was initially my favorite person. We had some common personality as well. It was totally different when I was with Eric and when I was with Minwoo. I admitted that I started to trust both of them.

Eric was gentle and warm. He was sometimes foolish when loving someone with his whole heart. But Eric was such a messy normal guy despite his handsome face. I could assume he was dirty and a little ert.

On the contrary, Minwoo was creepy but a peaceful guy. He did weird and dangerous things no one knew why. It was hard to read his mind because he was such an unpredictable guy. He was cute when he smiled and y when he walked. Both Minwoo and Eric’s traits attracted me in some ways.

            I sat on my couch in silence and read my favorite manga while Minwoo sat next to me, busily eating my snacks while playing at some game on his phone. Suddenly, my own phone vibrated. We both tensed. I grabbed my phone and read the message.

It was Eric.

“I’m sorry Shi nae. Thanks for coming over. Meet you at dinner. Bye. Rest well.”

to be continued...