Ever since the two have been dating, Irene made a habit of coming in the morning to his office first thing to give him a morning kiss and to take her coffee, and at the end of their shifts, he would come to her office.

This morning, as Joonmyeon realized he didn’t have any scheduled appointments for a while, he stared at his laptop as he waited for the woman’s arrival. He drummed his fingers against his desk, biting his lip. He wanted to look at the calendar next to him, however the number itself brought pain to Joonmyeon’s existence. He turned to the window that overlooked the parking lot and a park in the distance. As if on cue, the snow fell again, adding to the white blanket that laid on the city.

Slouching in his chair, he didn’t stop himself from thinking a few thoughts.

He just got home from the hospital, delivering his third baby today, when he was stopped by the touching sight of a kitten placing stickers on a sleeping woman. Quietly taking his boots and coat off, the man sat next to the kitten, who proceeded to place stickers on him. “Hi Joonie.”

“What are you doing with all these stickers?” he asked, feeling the kitten place one on his cheek. “Where did you get them?”

“Jiji gave them to me,” the cat smiled, his tail flickering about, “You’re late.”

“I know I am,” the man smiled, petting the cat before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “How was your day with Jiji?”

“Jiji let me help her with her paint class today!” the kitten flashed a wider toothy grin, “I got to clean brushes!”

“And I bet you were the best brush cleaner out there, right?”

The cat nodded when he placed a sticker on the man’s forehead. “Jiji fell asleep waiting for you.”

“Yes, she did,” the man hummed, amused. He placed a sticker and put it on the cat’s nose before putting him on the floor, throwing a toy to distract the kitten. He them scooted closer to the woman, shaking her a bit.

The woman woke up as if she was startled, yawning a hello, “When did you get in?”

“Just a few minutes ago,” he leaned in, giving her a kiss.

She pushed his face away, smirking, “I just woke up, Joon.”

Humming, Joonmyeon placed another kiss on the woman before pulling himself back, “So I heard Chen here cleaned the brushes.”

The woman groaned, rubbing her eyes, “He’s the best in the entire city.”

The man held her hand in his, rubbing the back with his thumb, “How was your day, Jieun?”

She gave a small smile before shrugging, “Lousy. Threw up twice and then Yoona wouldn’t stop bragging about her honeymoon.”

The man’s brows hugged, “Ji, I think you need to see a doctor. You’ve been throwing up often this week, and you’ve been experiencing headaches. I hope it’s not the fish we ate.”

The woman chuckled, before looking fondly at the man, “Maybe it’s the restaurant’s way of ridding us regulars. We’ve been going there since college.”

Leaning in closer, he wrapped his arm around the woman, kissing the top of her head, “It’s special. We went there on our first date, after our finals, when we graduated, after I proposed… I hope this isn’t its sadistic way of ridding us.”

Giggling at her husband’s accusations, she leaned her head on his shoulder, holding his hand. “Well… what if we’re lucky this time…?”

“Do you think we should be getting our hopes up?”

“I know what the doctor said…” Jieun sighed, playing with his hand. They both looked at Chen jump between toys; showing his cat instincts as he ignored them with his play, “But I want to give our kitty there a friend to play with.”

Snorting at the funny remark, the man pulled his wife closer to him, resting his cheek on her hair. “Well, we’ve been trying for four years, maybe five years the charm?”

It was a quiet moment as they watched the kitten.

Joonmyeon jumped when he heard the door close a little louder than usual, and he turned to see Irene give a funny expression, apologizing for the loud noise. In her hand was a bag that made the room smell like a bakery. “I brought fresh bagels!”

It was a moment after she settled down in Joonmyeon’s lap, fixing her bagel. Joonmyeon ran his hands up and down her back, giving her somewhat of a massage. She hummed when his hands got lower by accident. “I know you’re waiting for the right moment, but I don’t think our first time should be here in your office.”

Chuckling, he poked her back before stopping, “Irene… what’s your thoughts on kids?”

“They’re adorable as long as I can give them back to the senders,” she some cream cheese off her finger as she sat up straight, looking at her boyfriend. “Why? Is your niece in town or something?”

“No… just… nevermind.”

“No, tell me! I don’t like it when you don’t finish your thoughts.”

Giving her a contemplated expression, he revealed how he was wondering if she ever thought about having children of her own. She chuckled as she ripped a piece of bagel and fed him, “Are you kidding me? Like every other guy I had a crush on, I planned out how many kids were going to have and what kind of car he was driving. I took M.A.S.H. very seriously; but of course, I’ve thought about it. I imagine I would like to have one; you?”

Joonmyeon let himself finished chewing, “Um… yeah.”

Irene noticed his short answer, “You okay?”

“I’m fine.”

She rolled her eyes before setting her bagel down. She made herself even more comfy as she leaned on the doctor, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “C’mon. I know something is wrong, Joon. You don’t usually spring up big questions like that until lunch.”

When Joonmyeon didn’t answer, nor responded by his usual careful touches to make sure she didn’t fall off his lap, Irene tilted her head, humming. She felt the usual signs of anxiety hit her, however she tried to not let it show. “Lemme ask… were you planning on having children… with me?”

With wide eyes, the man stared at Irene. He didn’t give it much thought, but at the same time, he was too in his thoughts to really understand the question he was just asked. “What?”

“I mean… our genetics are obviously superb and I’m pretty confident we’d have a few, however I still have my issues about Sehun not wanting to have kids and I’m flattered, however I would want to wait a while… simply because my parents would kill me if they found out I got preggo before we married—if we married. Or at least in a long relationship with each other.”

Joonmyeon finally reacted the way Irene hoped, by placing his hands on the side of her knee and her waist to make sure she wasn’t going to fall off. “That… sounds like a plan. No kids unless we’re married.”

“Of course, accidents do happen, and even if that happens, I think that as long as you’re the father, I’d keep it.”

Smirking, he rested his forehead on the woman’s shoulder for a second before giving her neck a kiss. Irene closed her eyes at the sensation before he hummed. “I hope your not planning on choosing another guy to have as the father.”

“You never know,” she shrugged, “I think that Jaebum guy wouldn’t mind a night.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous?”

“No,” she shook her head, sitting up a little to look at him. Her eyes reflected her voice as she admitted that she was trying to make him feel better. “We can talk about this if you want to drive me back to my place. We don’t have to talk, but I can just listen.”

🐱 🐶

It was several hours later when Joonmyeon found himself looking at the steering wheel, wondering if he should even drive. His keys were in his hand and the distance sounds of heels clacking against the asphalt seemed miles away. He looked over at the passenger seat next to him.

Jieun was biting her nails again, arms crossed against her chest. She looked over at her husband and finally tore the nail she was working on off.

Joonmyeon sighed and grabbed the hand she was working on into his as he continued to drive on. “Hey, things will be alright.”

“Joon, they said it could be a load of things. Like it could be me, but it also could be you, but you check out and I’m still in the dark…” she rubbed her face with her freehand, shaking her leg, “I mean, you and I have been trying so hard… and this is the biggest… thing. And what if I can’t have any? I know you want one, but… No, this is stupid. Let’s just turn the car around now. We don’t have to know.

The man tried to be comforting, kissing the back of her hand. “Jiji… whether or not the test results tell us again the same thing, I still love you.”

The woman had tears in her eyes, and she gave a small smile, worried still sketched on her face. “I know you do… but… what if—”

“No,” Joonmyeon shook his head as they stopped at a red light. Cars whizzed passed in the perpendicular lane, splashing wet and ugly water around. He turned to look at his beautiful wife, a serious expression on his face. “Stop with coming up with ‘what if’s. I know your nervous and scared; I am too, however the exact opposite might happen. You might just have a tiny little human inside you and if that’s the case, it will grow and come into this world. It will cause many sleepless nights and moments of anxiety, but I have this feeling that no matter what; we’re going to hear good news.”

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