To Catch One’s Breath

Jinhoon oneshot by Eiryia

It was already late morning when Jinwoo woke up. The bright spring morning's sun rays were streaming into the bedroom at full force making sleeping any longer impossible. He strained his ears in an attempt to check if someone was up, but everything was dead silent. The only noise he could hear was of the outside, the buzz of the city far below them and the occasional chirp of a bird flying by.

He rolled out of bed, grabbed a pair of pants and a t-shirt and headed towards the bathroom. He almost tripped over a cat on his way there and he stopped to pet her before continuing on his way. As he was getting into the shower was he certain there had been footsteps passing in the hall, but he hoped he was wrong. He could really need a quiet morning for once. 

Watching his cereal slowly swelling in his bowl he listened for footsteps again, no one? He must still be sleeping after all. A cat jumped up on the kitchen table, purring a little and rubbing its face towards his hand.

«Hi you» he mumbled «I guess I’m on cat duty again today» he dipped his finger into his cereal and held it out towards the cat. It was Taehyun’s cat, but all of them liked him the most and this was one of the secrets to why. «Don’t tell anyone» he whispered and patted the soft fur of the cat while trying to avoid getting cat hair in his breakfast.

«Don’t tell anyone what?»

He looked up to see Seunghoon walk into the kitchen, his hair a mess and only wearing a t-shirt and boxer shorts. «Morning» Seunghoon mumbled when Jinwoo didn’t reply and ruffled his own hair a little. It was a poor attempt to make it look a little more civilized and he quickly gave up and headed towards the fridge. Eating a few mouthfuls of his cereal he watched as Seunghoon made himself breakfast.

«Why are you up this early anyway?» Seunghoon asked sitting down next to him by the table. «We are probably staying up all night recording again tonight» He didn’t reply this time either, he just stuffed his mouth with more food before looking over at Seunghoon.

Staying home like this for weeks and weeks, he had been undecided about it at first. Now after all this time was there no doubt in his mind; he was miserable. If there was one thing he was sure of by now was it that he would rather be doing something. Being left behind was starting to feel more and more upsetting. If they all had been together in this he would probably not be as upset about it.

Seunghoon kept watching as Jinwoo stuffed his mouth with saggy cereal and couldn’t help but to notice how his expression got sadder and sadder as he went. He thought he knew what was on his mind, they had talked about it on numerous occasions by now. He weren’t alone feeling like that now, he felt it too.

Had they known that this was what they had signed up for? They both knew that the answer was yes, but it still was depressing as hell. He was secretly hoping that something would come up, but there had been little so far. He dedicated himself to working on music, dance and taking care of his health and hoped that his condition would stay good from now on.

Jinwoo was staring out into the air with an absentminded look on his face. His cheeks puffy from having stuffed his mouth to the brim with cereal. Seunghoon stretched out a hand and poked his cheek lightly.

«You sleeping while eating again?» he asked teasingly while giving him a small encouraging nudge on the shoulder. Jinwoo blinked at him eyes in a haze still.

«I’m just tired» he finally said after finishing chewing his food. He then shook his head a little as if to shake of the worst tiredness and kept eating.

They sat in silence, both focusing their food. Seunghoon could tell that Jinwoo had a lot on his mind again because he usually kept chatting nonstop in the morning. If he weren’t watching one of his dramas on his phone that was. This morning he did neither.

«It’s not like we aren’t working hard» he said and reached out a hand towards Jinwoo. He responded by pulling his hands off the table before looking away. Seunghoon was starting to wonder if he actually was upset with him for some reason. He couldn't think of anything that he might have done. Atleast not that he was aware of.

He watched as Jinwoo got up from his seat and walked out of the kitchen. Seunghoon instinctively wanted to follow him, but decided to finish his breakfast. They had time after all. A lot of time.

The rest of his alone time in the kitchen was spent on pondering how to cheer up Jinwoo. He wasn’t usually the one who needed the most cheering up in the group and when there was a need for it, it was usually Mino who joked around making everyone laugh for a while. There was no Mino there today though. He would have to figure this out on his own.

He put on a song on his phone and moved around in the kitchen to the tune as he cleaned up after their breakfast and the mess from the others who had probably left in a hurry. He was secretly stalling to buy time because he was still unsure how to go about talking Jinwoo.

Completing a few more shores around the house without getting any closer to what he should say or do had he decided to just go with it. If anything could he at least keep him company, whatever he was doing right now.

He peeked in at his bedroom, but didn’t see him there so he headed towards the living room.

He was sitting on the floor leaning up against the couch looking at something on his hand. Seunghoon went over and sat down on the couch behind him.

«What are you looking at?» he asked leaning closer. Jinwoo held up his hand and Seunghoon could see a long pink line all the way up from his wrist to his elbow.

«He scratched me» Jinwoo said and wiped away the single drop of blood that was starting to form above his wrist. «He's never done that before» he mumbled. Seunghoon moved down to sit next to him on the floor.

«I just wanted to pet him» he said looking longingly towards the door where the cat must have left moments before.

«You can pet me» Seunghoon said jokingly putting one hand on Jinwoo’s tight. Jinwoo looked at him and Seunghoon thought he saw a just a small hint of a smile play on Jinwoo’s lips.

«I promise I won’t scratch you» he continued hoping to bring out a proper smile this time. He didn’t smile, but he leaned over resting his head on Seunghoon’s shoulder. He still had his hand on Jinwoo’s lap and after a while had their hands found each other’s. Intertwining their fingers he sighed a little, it was a sigh of relief really. They were good and that made him feel a lot better. Jinwoo peeked up at him with questions in his eyes however. He smiled down at him and squeezed his hand a little.

«I’m tired too, but we are together and we are working hard. We just got some time for ourselves for a little while» he said and Jinwoo nodded as he spoke.

«Normal people got time off all the time, when they leave work they can relax. We just aren’t used to it because we have been so busy the last few years».They sat there looking at nothing in particular neither of them saying a word. Seunghoon had let go of Jinwoo’s hand and were absentmindedly his arm while looking up at the roof.

«We will be back» Jinwoo suddenly said shifting his position on the floor a bit to rest more of his weight on the sofa.

«Of course we will, it’s just a questions of timing» Seunghoon replied. They were almost done with the album, but that didn’t necessarily mean that they would return to their fans anytime soon. There were concepts to decide on, music videos to shoot and then of course since this was YG the wait in turn for what was considered perfect timing. Even if they didn’t agree with this logic was there really nothing they could do. He hoped the fans wouldn’t leave them, but he couldn’t really blame them if they did. As months passed by without that much happening had the realization begun to hit him that they were in for another long wait.

«We made it before, we can do it again» he said out loud finishing his trail of thought. Jinwoo looked up at him a sad smile on his face this time.

«Even if they forget, our new album will make them remember» Seunghoon continued after a moment of silent reflection. He truly believed that and he wanted Jinwoo to believe in it as well.

«You think?» Jinwoo asked voice obviously marked with doubt.

«I know» Seunghoon replied. He had always been the one with the most faith in their fans, but they had yet to fail them so he didn’t understand why he shouldn’t put his trust in them this time either.

«You always put so much faith in them, I should learn from you» Jinwoo said and got up on his feet. Seunghoon wondered for a second if he were going to leave him behind on the floor, but he just sat down on the couch behind him moments later. He could feel Jinwoo’s warm hand trail his shoulder before tugging lightly on the back of his shirt.

«What are you doing?» he asked as he felt his nape turn warm and something that felt like lips touched the back of his neck.

«Just showing my love for our fans» Jinwoo said and placed a few more peck like kisses on his nape and upper back where his tattoo was. Seunghoon could feel heat rush to his cheeks. His chest had felt a lot lighter as soon as he heard him say those words. His little talk must have helped, yet again. Jinwoo had then wrapped both his arms around his neck and was now leaning on his shoulders resting his head next to his.

«You are right» Jinwoo started «We are working hard and we will probably be up all night again tonight don’t you think?» Seunghoon leaned backwards to rest against Jinwoo.

«Probably» he said watching for Jinwoo’s reaction.

«I’m still pretty tired» Jinwoo mumbled closing his eyes.

«Let’s take a nap then, it’s still early. Then we can pick up some food on our way to the studio and surprise the rest?» Seunghoon said more to himself then to Jinwoo. He didn’t reply, instead had he loosened his grip around his neck and leaned away from him.

«I think I’ll take my nap here» he said with a small huff and dropped down on the couch. Seunghoon got up from the floor and looked at Jinwoo who had curled up into a ball on the cool leather couch.

«I’ll get you a blanket» he said and walked over to the armchair where all their blankets currently were stacked. He unfolded it and tucked it around Jinwoo’s back.

He was about to leave as Jinwoo stayed unmoving under his blanket with eyes firmly shut closed. «Stay?» he said suddenly in a low voice. Seunghoon weren’t sure what to do. He didn’t feel like napping on the floor.

«Move over then» he replied after a moment of contemplation. He watched as Jinwoo scooted in on the couch and looked up at him through half closed eyes. He flopped down beside him not quite sure what to do with himself, but Jinwoo quickly curled up against his chest and moved to rest his head on his arm.

Seunghoon felt happy. Happy that he could be there for someone, but most of all happy that he weren’t alone. He felt guilty about the last part. He knew Jinwoo wanted nothing more than to be out there, he wanted that too. However he felt that he had a pretty good understanding of the situation and so he waited attempting to appreciate the calm.

The last time he had time like this had been earlier this year. Back then had he been all alone while the others went to perform without him. Even if he had people around him had he still feel alone like never before. He had been left behind then and there had been nothing he could do about it. There weren’t much and so he felt guilty. Guilty because he weren’t alone in being left behind this time, he had Jinwoo. He figured that Jinwoo might be feeling the kind of despair he had felt earlier this spring and that made him feel even worse.

«I think» Jinwoo started suddenly tensing up against him and clutching his shirt in his fist.

«That this is in a way an opportunity to.. hm» He moved a little so he was half resting on top of Seunghoon now. He waited as Jinwoo kept shifting around until he finally found a comfortable position resting his head on his chest.

«An opportunity to catch our breath?» he said in a questioning tone as if unsure of his own conclusion. Seunghoon moved one of his arms to lightly big circles on Jinwoo’s back before replying.

«That’s a good way to look at it, we sure have been running at full speed the last year»

«I got my breath back now» Jinwoo said lifting his head a little to look up at Seunghoon. He smiled down at him.

«I do too, but I don’t think the rest have yet. Let’s wait for them to catch up shall we?» he playfully patted Jinwoo on the head. «I’m sure we can think of many fun things to do to make the time pass as we wait» Jinwoo lifted one eyebrow giving him a funny look.

«What?» Seunghoon said as he saw his reaction. He thought he knew what he was thinking about, but he weren’t going to let him know that. «Let’s just take that nap now huh?» he said as Jinwoo put his head back down to rest on his chest.

«Why is your heart beating so fast?» Jinwoo asked in a lightly amused tone.

«Shhh, sleep now» Seunghoon replied silently cursing his heart for giving away his feelings like that.

As he tried to calm himself did he ponder what his feelings really were. Was it just him reacting to being teased or had he really begun liking Jinwoo in a different way? The whole thing was confusing, he didn’t feel all that much different about him. But did that mean that he had liked him this way all along? He might just have.

The more he thought about it the more it wobbled his mind. If he did like him in a more of a romantic way, then this surely was a great time to try and figure things out. He might get in trouble though, but then again he could try to be clever about it.

He was still questioning himself and this newly found tingling sensation in his heart that made it beat way too fast even if he didn’t want it to when he dozed off into a dreamless sleep.

They woke hours later to all the cats sleeping around them, one half on top of Jinwoo’s face making him sneeze and roll to the side and onto the floor in surprise.

«Looks like they forgave our grumpiness from this morning» Seunghoon said and dropped the cat onto Jinwoo who grabbed it and hugged it a bit too forcefully. It complained loudly and ran off, quickly followed by the others.

«Or maybe not» he said as the last cat tail disappeared out the door. That was when Jinwoo grabbed his hand and pulled him down on the floor next to him. «I’ll just have to make do with you then» he said. Seunghoon laughed before saying:

«I promised I wouldn’t scratch, I never promised I wouldn’t run away» Jinwoo looked at him with wide eyes. «Not letting you go» he said as he clung to his arm with renewed force.

«Don’t worry, I have no desire to run away from you» he said and placed a small peck of a kiss on his cheek. Jinwoo rubbed his face in surprise and Seunghoon used it to his advantage to roll away.

He had almost managed to get out of arms reach when Jinwoo grabbed the back of his shirt dragging Seunhoon back to him.

«Just one more» Jinwoo said and Seunghoon didn’t grasp right away what he was talking about, but then he felt strong arms wrap around his chest pulling him closer and soft lips press against his nape.

«For our Inner Circle» Jinwoo mumbled and nuzzled into the side of his neck.

«For our Inclestellar»  

Author's note: I miss them a lot, can you tell? All the requests I've recieved lately has been for Seunghoon pairings so I wrote this in between working one all my other projects.I hope you enjoyed it even if it was short. Let me know if I should keep writing little things like this and do feel free to talk to me any time on twitter @KriEir 

*sends love* hang in there fellow incles!