Pain
EvanesceKim Wonshik carried Hakyeon all the way to his mother's house. Crying himself to sleep, Hakyeon remained cradled in his arms, face pressed against his collarbone. No way would he force the broken man to wake up in an unfamiliar hotel room, even if it meant breaking into his childhood home.
Sighing, he gently placed Hakyeon on the porch swing. Shrugging off his coat, he covered the smaller man with it before inspect ing the front door, searching for something. Finally, with a great deal of relief, he found what he had been searching for.
While he was in high school, Wonshik used to sneak out in the middle of the night to see Hakyeon. Whenever the tan man needed him, he would be there. Due to this display of unwavering devotion, he had found himself locked outside enough times to install a fail safe way to get back inside. After five years, he was surprised his parents hadn't realized and had it fixed. Though he was glad they hadn't, he wasn't looking forward to admittig to his mother that he broke into her house.
Wiggling free the loose, small pole in the porch rail, he used it to unlock the large livingroom window. Sliding it open, he climbed inside, scrambling to the front door to unlock it. Returning the pole to its rightful home in the rail, Wonshik lifted the redhead into his arms, carrying him inside. The front door closed and lock behind him, he brought Hakyeon to his bedroom.
Laying the other man softly in his bed, he went to his dresser, rummaging around until he found some warm pajamas for the other to change into. Sitting on the edge of the bed for a moment, he watched Hakyeon sleep, wanting to give him a few more painless moments before he woke him. Brushing some hair from the other man's face, he took in the beauty stunned him even after all these years.
"Hakyeon..." Gently touching the sleeping man's cheek, he urged him to wake. "Hey. We need to get you into something warm."
"Wh-where are we?" His companion sat up slowly, his voice cracking and brittle from his previous sobs.
"My mom's. I broke in." Rubbing the redhead's cheek, Wonshik bit his lip. "I got you out pajamas. I can sleep in the spare room if you want to be alone. I... Im sorry I did this to you..." Moving to stand, he felt Hakyeon's hand grasp his. Heart aching, he stifled a whimper. Come morning he would do what he could to get Hakyeon back with the man he loved. He didnt care if it broke his own heart, as long as that man was happy.
~~~
Cha Hakyeon felt such an immense sense of heartbreak when Wonshik prepared to leave his side. Even more than losing Taekwoon, he was worried about Wonshik deserting him. There was no lack of love for the black haired man and, though his harsh words stung, he knew he deserved them. But five years of being the other man's secret without so much as a simple 'I love you'... Maybe it just took Wonshik to help him remember what it actually felt like to be loved.
"Don't go... Please don't leave me alone..." Releasing Wonshik's hand, he wrapped his arms around the blonde, fighting back tears. "Dont leave me... Please... I love you..."
"I love you too, Hakyeon." Lips brushed against the top of his head and he felt his arms being gently removed from the other man.
"Wonshik..." Panicked, he wondered if he had somehow managed to push both of the men he loved far enough that neither loved him back anymore. Hands grasped in the blonde's he looked up at him with fear and uncertainty.
"I just want to make sure you're okay." Lacing their fingers together, Wonshik used his free hand to inspect Hakyeon's wrist, purple with fingertip shaped bruises. "Does it hurt?"
"As much as anything else does right now." Sighing, Hakyeon shook his head. "Im sorry..."
"Sh. Out of all of us, you're the last one who needs to apologize for anything." Lips met his own, easing his anxiety. "How's your shoulder?"
"I... I don't know..." Lifting his arm over his head, he barely stifled a scream of pain, tears instantly pouring down his cheeks.
"That bastard... Baby, lay down." Sharing another kiss, Wonshik stood. "I'm going to get you asprin and make ice for your shoulder." With one last kiss, the blonde left him alone with his thoughts. Taekwoon had never hurt him before but here he was, aching inside and out. It had never been more apparent that he never belonged with the other man than it was at that moment.
~~~
Jung Taekwoon sat in the bathroom floor, back against the door and shards of broken glass strewn around him. Tears slid down his cheeks and his knuckles were dripping blood, cut up from punching the mirror. Barely noticing his injury, he pulled the jewelry box from his poket, opening it slowly. A glittering ring mocked him with it's brilliance, graceful lines of silver swirled and swept into a butterfly rivaled in beauty only by the man he had bought it for.
Gripping the ring in his fist, Taekwoon thought back on the events of the night, on Hakyeon's labored breathing over the phone. It was only then that he realized what the reason was. Bad luck being forever on his side, he had managed to call Hakyeon in the middle of having with his ex boyfriend. Not that he could blame him, after feeling the effects of neglect for so long.
Impossible not to understand that he had been putting Hakyeon through emotional hell the past years, he hadn't understood exactly how painful it was not to hear those words until Hakyeon finally stopped saying them to him. Not only had he been destroying him emotionally, but the moment he finally broke the man he loved, he was overcome with jealousy and anger, hurting him physically as well. Cries of agony echoed through his mind and he wondered if the tan beauty was alright. Had he sent the person he loved to the hospital? Positive Hakyeon would never forgive him, he was sure he couldn't even forgive himself.
Why had he allowed fear to rule him for so long? Destruction was all he was good for, ruining what was most important to him. Instead of confessing his love, being proud of having Hakyeon by his side, he denied him, lied about him and made him feel worthless. If anyone deserved Hakyeon's love, it wasn't him, even if he'd never love anyone else as much as he loved the redhead. Hakyeon deserved happiness.
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