She's not anyone

'Wait... are you telling me that you had a crush on your teacher?' Jiyong asks after she told him another of her feats.

They are eating in the courtyard, near the house, sitting around a small and round table, facing each other. The fresh air after the rain can be inhaled and it's a nice feeling. No, it's not only the air, but the emotions too. The heart beats and the mixed scents..

'Yeah, I did.. and I was trying to make him to give me extra lessons but he rejected.' Chaerin chuckles remembering her university life. Having a crush on the teacher, helped her to improve her marks because she was always asking questions, just to have the opportunity to talk to him.

'And what happened?'

'Nothing, he left on the third year because he got married.. he broke my heart.. and my good marks.' Chaerin fakes a cry and Jiyong laughs, but actually he likes it to know that it didn't work.. When Chaerin started to tell him about her relationship, he listened carefully and tried to find out how happened everything and why did they break up.

The first one was because the guy moved away and the second one, he left her for another girl.

'How about you? I bet you were surrounded by many girls.' She keep asking trying to know more about him..

'So do you think that I'm handsome enough to be surrounded by girls, huh?' Jiyong teases her again and she blushes.. In fact, this is what she thinks.

'Just tell me how it was..' taking a piece of food from the table, she looks at him, waiting for him to speak. Finally he does.

'When I decided what I want to study, I was already into this organizations thing. But of course, it was less dangerous and smallest than it is today. I studied business and administration to learn how to manage it better.. Later, I bought all them and I became the boss.'

'Why is it so dangerous now?'

'It wasn't as the beginning but one day someone made us an offer. They wanted to make a deal.. it included drugs, es, illegal clubs and things like this. I rejected the offer, I didn't want to do that. Apparently they got angry and this is how the war between us started.'

Chaerin looks at him and nods slowly.. Somehow she can understand this world. It might not be easy to handle it and he does it so well.

'Why did you study laws?' This is his question and she stops to think again.

'I didn't choose it myself.. my adoptive family did.'

'Adoptive?' This is something totally new from him.. He didn't know that she's adopted and he is quite surprised.

'Yes.. they wanted me to study laws and become a lawyer. The career is very interesting but I like more arts, like music and painting. They didn't allow with what I want, and I had to do it secretly.'

'When did you find out that they aren't your real family?'

'It never was a secret.. but when I was ten I started to be more aware of what was the situation. All I wanted was to meet my real parents, even thought they didn't want me, I just want to see them. In fact, this is why I agreed to marry you.'

'You're breaking my heart..' he still teasing her but stops when her face is becoming more and more serious.. He can tell it, this is something important for her. Jiyong stands up and places his chair behind her, being closer to her. 'Sorry, go on..'

'They were so controling over me and I couldn't do anything but just find their names. It wasn't so easy but I did it. And talking about our marriage.. Two weeks after my ex  left me for another girl, my family told me about a wedding..'

'The wedding never happened.. I refused to participate.'

'Do you think is normal to refuse to participate at your own wedding?' she draws a light laugh at her face and turns her head around to look at him..

'Hell no.. but, in this case I think strange is a better term to describe it.' 

'I think so.. Anyways, you didn't come and I was relieved. I wasn't ready for it. Of course, our family didn't give up and they still forced us to agree. When they told me that you already signed and  I'll have to live with you here, I accepted. Being far away from them was what  I wanted and this was the best opportunity to take.' 

'Do you still have feelings for him?' 

A difficult question but he feels the urge to know her answer. He can't explain it but it bothers him to know that maybe she still has feelings for the man who left her. Chaerin shakes her head and Jiyong is the one relieved right now. He is sure enough that she definitely needs a better man..
A man who can take good care of her..
A man who can love her like she deserves and make her feel safe in his presence...
And someone who can be here for her everytime.

Wait... why is he trying to find this qualities in himself now?

'And you? Why did you agree with the marriage?' Chaerin finally asks back wanting to know what he felt about.

'It's not so complicated.. my family blackmailed me to give personal information about me and my group to the police if I don't agree with their conditions.'

'They're your family... They are supposed to support you in your decisions..'

Jiyong sighs but decides to keep going with his story when she takes his hand into hers.

'Not when the money is in the middle.. My father did worse thing than me when he was young, and I really don't know how, but he's clear now, without any antecedent. Actually, if I decided to start with the organization was more because I wanted to challenge him.'

'But you've got caught into it.'

'Yeah, I did..' He smiles as seeing how she is holding his hand, trying to comfort him..

'Have you even thought to quit it?' Chaerin asks him seeing how he's holding her hand, making her feel the whole tension.

'No, I haven't.. I mean, I always have been thinking that if this can put in danger the life of someone important to me, I would quit it without look back. But this is the point, I haven't had important persons in my life.. Bae doesn't count, he can take care of himself.' 

'I'm sorry.' by looking into his eyes, she sees the loneliness. Maybe Jiyong might seem a cold and strong person, but inside he hides his real feelings. Chaerin wonders when was the last time when he let a person to hold his hand this way..

'Don't be.. you better finish your dinner, it's getting cold.' Jiyong smiles lightly at her and stands up. Using his right hand, he touches her head, ready to go.. ready to avoid the moment. For him, it would be better to end the conversation. He doesn't want anyone to see him like this..

'Wait.. Stay here. We were supposed to eat together.'  Chaerin stands up as well, and walks behind him.

'We did.' his cold voice is back. It can be compared with the soft one which he used before when they were talking about their lifes. 

'Where are you going?' 

No answer from h