I hadn’t known it. I hadn’t known just how my life would change, but no one ever really does, no one can predict the future. While I enjoyed spending time together with Jinyoung and while I really did like him, my head wasn’t filled with useless fantasies about us being together forever. The heart could change, one of us could move on from the other, and if that were to happen then I would be alright with that. Maybe I would be a bit sad if he were to break it off first, and maybe he would be sad if I were to do the same, but we weren’t the only two people on the face of the earth. That much I knew and would always know, or at least I thought so.

          I thought it was alright at first. Jinyoung was never one to constantly contact me to the point of always texting. Occasional worrying texts here or there or reminder texts reminding me about the cold spring weather and the warming. Sometimes he would text me pictures of where he was and at night we would have phone calls every once in a while when I wasn’t working or studying. It seemed that I was always the one with something to do, that I was the one who was always hindering our relationship so it didn’t really bother me when he didn’t text or contact me for a couple of days.

          But as the days grew into a week and a week grew into two I started to get worried. I tried to call him a couple of times within those two weeks but he didn’t answer. I would get the same voicemail message every time. His phone was off whenever I called and I didn’t know why. I went to the texting route sometimes, but those also went unanswered.

          Four days after that he appeared on the wooden platform outside of my simple rooftop home. It had been two and a half weeks since I saw him and while I couldn’t pinpoint it back then, something definitely seemed different about him. He seemed more reserved as he solemnly sat there with his head hung low. The only time he lifted it was when he heard my footsteps. When he saw me, a huge smile broke out on his face.

          I acted like nothing was wrong. I acted like I wasn’t going crazy wondering where he was for the past two and a half weeks. I acted like the calm and cool me that I always was as I sat beside him. I also didn’t say anything, I simply waited until he was ready, if he was ready to talk.

          Jinyoung silently grabbed my hand and squeezed it. It took a couple of more minutes after that before he finally spoke. “Minyoung,” he softly said and my head turned towards him. “I’m sorry.” I waited for him to say more, maybe explain where he was, but there was nothing.

          “It’s alright,” I finally said giving him the best smile that I could. I wanted to ask so many questions, I was curious about so many things, but I kept them all to myself. Before I could think about it anymore, Jinyoung spoke, but the words that he said weren’t the ones I wanted to hear.

          “I’m leaving Korea for a little while…” he sighed. He was once again looking back down at the ground, but his hand was holding onto mine even tighter before, like he was afraid to let go. I didn’t ask any questions about his leaving and he continued speaking. He probably knew that I would have a ton of questions and seemed to have his speech all prepared. “I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. It’s an open ended trip, my family is going to see my older sister in England. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this before, I just recently found out about it myself.”

          He sighed and I could tell that he did seem regretful about leaving the country on such short notice. Right when I was about to open my mouth he began to speak again, “That’s why I couldn’t get in contact with you and vice versa for two and a half weeks, I was…dealing with some family stuff.”

          I silently nodded my head and put my other hand over top of his that was holding onto mine. “Go, I’ll be alright,” I simply said. “Go take care of what you need to with your family, I’ll be alright.” A smile returned to his face, like it was one of relief. Was he afraid that I would break up with him or something?

          Jinyoung let go of my hand and immediately embraced me. While he didn’t say anything, I could feel it through the hug. I wasn’t entirely sure what the feeling was, but I could tell that he was being sincere, that he was grateful for some reason. I, on the other hand, was grateful that nothing bad had happened to him. I was starting to expect the worst.

          He pulled away from the hug and that was when I saw the bruise on his arm. “Your arm—,” I started to say. He seemed to catch on to what I was going to say and began to chuckle a bit.

          “It’s been a rough week,” he said with a somewhat nervous tone. Why was he nervous?

          “When do you leave?” I asked deciding that we needed a new subject to talk about.

          “Tomorrow,” he sighed. He turned and looked up at the sky. “I leave tomorrow. I asked my parents if I could just stay here, stay here with you, but they said that I had to go with them.”

          “That’s alright. I already told you I’d be fine,” I said flashing a smile. He hadn’t said it directly, but I got the vibe that he was sad. Maybe it was about leaving to go to England or maybe it was about whatever his family was currently going through, but I wanted to cheer him up, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted to see him smile. “I have some tests coming up,” I said in an attempt to make him feel better, “and I could get some more hours to make some more money, not to mention I could visit my mother more.”

          Jinyoung gave me a gentle smile and I felt slightly better about the entire thing. We spent the majority of the night out on the wooden platform, just lying side by side and looking up at the stars together. We didn’t say much but we didn’t really need to. I still had plenty of questions as to why Jinyoung had to leave and I wondered for how long he was going to be there, but I didn’t ask any of them. I wouldn’t have wanted him to ask me those questions if the situation were reversed, so I just didn’t.

          For the next couple of days I lived like how I normally would. I went to school, work, and then visited my mother. For a short while it felt like my days had returned back to what they used to be, before I ever met Jinyoung, before I ever became his girlfriend and I honestly wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I didn’t know whether it was a good thing that I could fall back into the life that I had before Jinyoung so easily. Was that really all that Jinyoung and I had to our relationship? That night that I saw Jinyoung again was a night where it felt like I needed him and it felt like he needed me, but was that just because of the moment? Did I really not need him or depend on him as much as I thought I did?

          But things started to come together at the end of that week, or at least there were more pieces to fit together. Even if I didn’t know what they would all lead to or how they would affect my life, it still happened and thinking about it, I guess it was always going to be inevitable.

          It happened when I was going to visit my mother. I was walking through the white hallway to reach her room when I saw a familiar figure approaching my way. The other person didn’t see me, or at least it didn’t seem like they did until we were practically face to face. “Oh, Minyoung,” he said.

          “Ah, Shinwoo-ssi,” I said greeting him formally. Despite being somewhat close, I wasn’t entirely sure if I should call him ‘oppa’ since I hadn’t seen him for quite a while. He didn’t say anything about it, though. About whether I should’ve called him something else or about what I was doing there. He didn’t seem surprised to run into me there, but I wasn’t that surprised to run into him. I was simply curious, but I would never ask. I never did.

          “How have you been?” he politely asked and I could tell that it was all out of formality.

          “I’ve been fine,” I said with a smile. “What about you?”

          “Good. I’ve been good.”

          Our conversation stalled and it felt like I was going to be standing there forever, so I got myself out of that conversation as quickly as it happened. “I should be going now. You must be busy.”

          “Ah, yes,” he said as though I knocked him out of his thoughts. “I’ll see you around, alright?”

          “Definitely.” I sent him off with a smile and continued on my way to my mother’s room. That conversation never once making another appearance in my head.