On other occasions when Myungsoo ran away it felt like an accomplishment. It felt like a burden that had just narrowly missed him. But this time, he ran and he felt like a . He ed his friend's boyfriend and then left him. He left SUNGJONG. He even said the forbidden word, meant it, repeated it, was reciprocated and then LEFT!

And why didn't Myungsoo just take Sungjong for himself? Keep him as his own lover? Myungsoo wondered that too. And then he remembered why he allowed Hoya to have Sungjong in the first place. The pain... The stupid ing love pain. He didn't want to hurt Sungjong. Sungjong was his love, his life, his precious gem. He wasn't going to keep his gem and risk breaking it, risk losing it, risk shattering its fragile crystals. No. He would keep his beloved jewel in a bank, in good hands, in the hands of someone he was close to and knew would take good care of his crystal.

Myungsoo woke up some hours after he and Sungjong had made love together. It was morning and Sungjong was still resting. Before he had even woken up, Myungsoo knew his next step. He needed to leave. To him, he was leaving nothing. He'd adapt to any environment just as well as the one he lived in now. The only thing that he was leaving and anchored him was his love... Sungjong. He was leaving Sungjong, his love, his life, his soul.

Myungsoo climbed out of bed carefully and showered. Myungsoo couldn't decide whether to take a hot shower or a cold one. It made him uncomfortable. The cold water wasn't nearly as cold enough for him, for his heart was even colder, with no love, no life. He was an empty cask.

In contrast, the hot water wasn't hot enough. The warmth he searched for was not external, but internal, the warmth that he and Sungjong gave each other. That, too, was gone. He was completely drained of everything, no love, no life, no soul, no warmth, no cold, no strength, no will, and perhaps, no sanity.

Myungsoo trudged around the house, searching for his things. No one was home yet, just him and Sungjong. Myungsoo began to pack his things. He planned to live in his parents' summer cottage that he'd kept the key to. It was at least an hour away from their dorm. His parents' have never used the house, so they gave it to Myungsoo as a present on his sixteenth birthday instead of a car.

No matter how much his heart ached, Myungsoo packed a light bag, but every piece of clothing that he dropped into his bag plunged a dagger into his chest, deeper and deeper, the thoughts of leaving Sungjong becoming more real and vivid as the hour of his painful departure was fast approaching.

After packing, Myungsoo sat down at his desk, writing a note for Sungjong and Sunggyu. To Sungjong, it was a love letter, a proclamation of his undying, eternal love. He expressed his regret for leaving Sungjong, his love for him, his sadness for not being there for him, and his anger at himself for being such a coward. To his trusted hyung, he explained everything that happened last night. He wrote about how he'd fled the house at dusk; Sungyeol, Dongwoo, and Hoya had gone out drinking; his and Sungjong's love making; and where he was headed for.

Sunggyu would obviously come after him, and Myungsoo knew it. He kind of hoped for it as well. He needed advice from his hyung. Sunggyu was so stressed lately since he and Woohyun had begun arguing. It was a lovers' quarrel, so the others didn't bother intruding, but they all knew that Sunggyu needed a moment away from Woohyun's greasiness, and Woohyun needed a break from Sunggyu's nagging.

As Myungsoo wrote the letters, tears threatened to spring forth, but he held them in. He walked into Sungjong's room to find the boy like a sleeping angel. Breaking down, Myungsoo placed the crisp letters next to the bed, tears finally spilling. "Sungjong..." he wailed to the sleeping boy. "I'm so sorry. So sorry... I'm hurting myself for you. Please be happy. I never want you to feel the pain of love. It's unbearable. Be safe, Sungjong. And remember that I'll always be there for you, only you."

He kissed Sungjong's forehead and then left the room, still trailing tears down his cheeks. Little did Myungsoo know that Sungjong had heard him. As soon as Myungsoo left, Sungjong began weeping, wanting to go after him but with no strength to do so. Sungjong had heard everything from the time Myungsoo had gotten out of bed, frustrated with the temperature of his shower, to the slow shuffling of packing, through the soft sniffs while writing the letters, and the confession from deep within Myungsoo's heart. He'd heard it all, felt it all, and done nothing...