“Welcome to the Daughter’s Mansion. I am the Crowned Prince Oh Sehun. I am too thrilled to finally be able to meet with you all. I hope you share my excitement for today's events. It will be quite a long day. Thankfully however, your beautiful faces will sustain me. Please sit down and let's enjoy the magnificent breakfast in front of us.”

  Ugh! Ugh Ugh! Yuck! Eww! What in the world was that?

"Thankfully your beautiful faces will sustain me?" 

 "Will 'sustain' him?" I scoffed. Forget about that. What in the world is going on? He's smiling at the girls around us and there's the hint of my favorite crescent slits and that could only mean it's Captain Lu Han. But he just said he was Prince Oh Sehun. I can't be dreaming. There's no way in all my panic and anxiety can this moment be just a dream. I mean I just saw this man a couple of hours ago. I was just joking and laughing with him in the garden as we sat pressed on the cold wall of the mansion talking about my freedom and his lack there of. He told me about his adventures with the Prince. And yet he takes a seat in the head of the table now?

   I look at the man standing guard just behind him. In the uniform I know so well. The uniform I scrutinized just weeks ago, the one 'my' Captain Lu Han was wearing weeks ago.

   First guard. First guard? He lied to me! All this time he’d told me he was just a captain, a very loyal and good friend of the Prince and all along he was just playing with me. Had I been very pathetic and vulnerable enough to be pitied and played with?

  Then every interaction we had from my father’s house, to Kai, to the carriage, to last night, all the memory all came flashing back to me and I’ve started to feel exasperated. I mean all along I’ve been bearing my mind, body, and soul to this man in great lengths. Even as to honestly tell him about my disinterest to the crown and the position. I’ve told this man everything and he lied to me. I slumped to myself. To hell with my lessons and training all these past couple of weeks. To hell with… Kai. I’ve told him about Kai. He’s met Kai. God! I exhaled annoyed at my situation unable to scream so loud and curse him to hell. I remember the first time I saw him. He’s met my father and saw where we lived. I began sulking again and this time I’ve lost my appetite. I lowered the fork and knife and just sat there unmoved, gears whirring as I thought of a what I wanted to say to him. Captain--, I mean Prince Oh Sehun would just have to take it all the next time I get to speak to him. He will not hear the end of this. Suddenly my nerves turned from confusion to anger then to exasperation and finally into a loud scoff making everyone look up at me freezing at my sudden mistake. 

“Is there a problem Lady Hei-Ran?” There was a playful tone in his voice annoying although chimed and beautiful as he blurted out my name. Heads began to turn my way and everyone’s eyes are now on me. He had just called me as if we had been familiar all long. I mean we were, but no one knew that. The girl in front of me started to cough probably choking on the fact that out of all of us, he learned my name and singled me out.

   Prince Oh Sehun now lowered his fork and turned to the girl in front of me. 

“Are you okay Lady Nina?”

    Now it was my turn to shoot a glare at him. Then, there it was the final realization. It dawned on me that he’s memorized everyone’s name on the table. 

“Forgive me for being too casual, but I had studied your names and your numbers.” He gestured to the place cards. “I only wanted to get a head start if you may.” He added and suddenly everyone seemed to have sighed or let out an exasperated air, or much needed tense breath that we all didn’t know we were holding in all this time.

   Unbelievable. He is working these girls already. I could already see the hearts forming in the eyes of the girls in front of me. They must've been swept off already with his very stylish uniform in those broad shoulders and strong chest. They're ogling now at his handsome face instead of eating and it's nauseating to watch these girls fawn over him in mere seconds. 

   Then, I remembered the smiles, the laughter I memorized too easily from the night before and realized I too had been enchanted by him. Did I look as pathetic as these girls do now?

"I am truly ecstatic for the welcoming party tonight. You'd especially like the entertainment after the ceremony. I for one am anticipating your introductions.  I can't wait to meet with you all." He freely smiled at all the girls and my gut churned wanting to empty itself right here right now.  He's saying something else now and he's made all the girls laugh except for me. And one other,  Minah. Ever poised and regal, Minah is slightly smiling but not looking at him. I compared her reaction to the other girls 2 and 3. They are both laughing at a joke his highness has now made. I looked at 1 and surprisingly, she's even cracked a slight smile that turned into a gentle chuckle. But when I looked back at Minah, she just smiled softly. Looking up once and a while at the Prince and is clearly listening but not letting her poise slip. She sat there just as usual, the perfect Minah.

    The perfect Minah. I am brought back to my previous task. Like nothing else mattered. Like suddenly I was pulled to my senses and I'm looking at Minah and there's a want to compete, to win. So I straighten myself and I follow her lead. I copy her gaze, her demeanor. A task I did not know I was capable of. It was as if I was scaling a tall wall fighting on a race, through the frigid, angry, whipping wind crashing on me fighting and pulling me to fall, to stop. Suddenly, it was as if it had only been me and Minah in that room. There wasn't any Prince Oh Sehun, no seventeen giggly ladies fawning and hanging over the words of the crown. It was me and Minah scaling that wall together unfazed. 

   It had been my father and my need to support myself, both were the drive I started with. But lately, I have found myself looking at the mirror thinking, if I was meant to be this person all along. Or was this just a chance of a life time, I need to take advantage of.  Seeing myself dressed to the nines makes me feel the wonders of possibilities I may still be able to attain. But there are also these moments where I find myself thinking how easy many things have come to me. With my lack of proper upbringing, it's surprising for myself to learn at such great ease.  I look back at my travels with my fathers and the many different people I've met along the way, had I been absorbing a bit of them since then? I have been so malleable, I could not fathom my tomorrow and my day after. I am scared of the unknown but I'm more scared not to know. Holding on this lifeline is my only way of finding out the real me. I will dig, claw and crawl through anything to find myself and secure my future of tomorrow. 

"For my father. For my tomorrow."

    Only when we stopped eating and exited the dining hall did I manage to gather myself and breathe. Like I have been away for the most part and are now back from an outer body experience. I was almost unconscious of my actions prior. It is a far-fetched idea. I know.  But my will to compete right now is through the roof. We are sitting in another room next to the study and we await the call of the Prince like awaiting spring or a proposal of a lover, I the gallows. One by one a girl leaves the room and I was sitting there struck and confused at my motives and will. I don't know what came over me. My thoughts and mind are in a jumble. I am surprised and angry. Shocked and saddened. Relieved but.... but. All I know is that I have all these pent up boiling emotions inside and I can't steady any of them to settle or just quiet down for a minute because in just a couple of more moments, it will be my turn to officially meet the Crowned Prince. I am about to explode. I truly am about to scream from the top of my lungs with the dragging and unrelentless delay. Damned anybody who is in earshot because I just can't take it anymore. I am by myself in this room, of course last to be called and they dare make me wait--

"Lady Kim Hei-Ran" The man says and I just about trudge passed him too eager to face the Prince.

"You do realize that of all eighteen participants you have the upper hand here, right?"

    I walked passed him still ignoring his calls. I just wanted to get to our designated seats by the window and get this over with. I was to be interviewed by Prince Oh Sehun for the first time. This would be our first meeting to be and he was to obtain any important information for his first decision, the entrance to the Rose Castle. I should really try my hardest to “woo” as Sunmi had badgered me but I just couldn’t believe he tricked me. He was not all the while the Captain Lu Han I truly admired from the night before. He was actually the Crowned Prince. I’ve had enough time to brew the anger inside to basically burst into the room when my name was called. I had been called last. We were called in order as usual, by ranking. Once I found him, he barely could contain his excitement and almost ran to the door to receive me brightly lit face with a smile only for me. But he was slowed by my furrowed brow and darkened aura. I think he knew then this was not a happy reunion. We are not continuing are very casual and friendly conversations by the wall just hours before. The study that had once been so wide and vast for the eighteen girls as we trained and listened to the lessons had somehow become so narrowed and stuffy with him in it. I’ve felt my chest shrivel up and retract by itself making me unable to look at him. So I decided. Just sit, Hei-Ran. Just get it over with. I told my self.

"Lady Hei-Ran, I am not going to say sorry for meeting you first. It is by the rules that I hide myself before the competition starts."  He reached out to hold my shoulder to stop me from passing him completely. 

    I look at the hand on my shoulder and he noticed my unease he quickly retracted and began surveying the surroundings for any witnesses. There were none. I look at him then and continued to my seat and bit my lips trying to fight the tears that are trying to fall. For some reason I feel so betrayed. And I want to just dump all those pent up emotions. I truly, wanted him to just be someone not involved in this whole thing. I wanted him to just be a friend that I can talk to and be myself with not someone I have to "woo" as Sunmi had tried to embed in my head all morning.

"Please Hei-Ran look at me at least.

“No! I don’t want to.” It came out whiny and I wanted to kick myself for my tone. I could get hanged for it any other day but even now, Prince Sehun is giving special consideration.

“Hei-Ran, this is absurd. You should know I couldn’t reveal myself to you. I had to hide myself-“

“Excuse me, your highness but were you not the same Crowned Prince who escaped the castle and dressed up as his first guard to pick up the lowliest participant of your so called contest to which you break the very rule to which it applied? But then you couldn’t reveal a name. Your name at the very least, but you revealed your story? My lord, don’t you think that that by itself is very hypocritical? Unless, your stories, our conversation had also been a lie.”

    He stopped smiling all together. He pressed his lips knowing fully well that I’ve got him now. He has to realize I am right.  He’s even broke night with me in hiding passed midnight. Why else was he trying to hide, but if only he was playing games with me?

    I study him now and realize that the only admiration I have of this man is because of the stories he told me as Captain Lu Han and I admired Captain Lu Han because I truly admired his loyalty and his words as someone who had that kind of affections for another human being. And if all those words were a lie.

   He sat back against the sofa lowering his gaze now in a thought. His face somehow fallen all of a sudden. 

“So, Prince Sehun. Were they all lies?” He didn’t answer. I pressed on and leaned a bit closer to him now. My voice is raised and I’m almost badgering and nagging on his face, something very not deserving of the Prince.

“So, were they? Were you just lying to me? Were you just playing with me?”

“No! They weren’t lies.”  I was stopped. I didn’t realize I was panting and heaving from the exertion. 

   It was his turn to meet me midway and lean towards me. 

“I wasn’t playing you. You are right. I am wrong to belittle the situation. I  just thought that since you don’t really care about the contest and since I thought we’ve become friends, something like this would be minor for us.”

For us.

“I am truly sorry Hei-Ran.” For a moment we just look at each other face to face leaning over our chairs like we’re ready to bolt but. But he doesn’t and I don’t. I bet if I wanted to he’d let me with my head intact and all. I bet he’d let me.

“I thought we’ve become friends…” He began again. His eyes full of hope and anticipation now slowly breaking right in front of me, unbecoming of a Prince.

   Friends. In spite of the short time knowing each other, I have been more than open and myself with him as I would have been if I was back home training with Kai or tagging alongside him and his women. Friends. I replay last night’s tryst and I think how much I enjoyed my time and how freeing I felt by his side. Laughing away the night, at the moment, I really thought we had become more than just friends. We had become good friends.

“Good friends.” I said low and soft, with all the heat of the moment prior to all the boiling pent up emotions dissipating into the air. 

“Really? Truly?" And suddenly he was beaming with joy, wide smile and all. It was bright, brighter than the light from the high-ceiling windows. He was radiating, too happy with my response and it only took that much for me to match his glee. 

   How was I to say other wise when he had looked like a hopeful child? How do I turn it down when I had looked back at our short time and I couldn't help but grab hold tight of it as well.  My time in this room is short and I could already feel the clock ticking away telling me that my time with the prince is passing too quickly. I had to make a decision then. I didn't know that the decision would change both our lives forever. 

   He looks intently into my eyes with gentle ease of expectation,  I returned with relief. All too quickly, all that anger had gone away after seeing him so happy with my response, I couldn't put a handle on my emotions. My mind was another thing. All I see now is his bright face unmoved and there was nothing else for me to process. All I remember is his words from the night before.

“I barely trust anyone. Everyone is out to get the crown and well-“ 

"I can be your friend, Prince Sehun. Let's start with that."

x

a/n: Thank you for reading<3