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“Rise and shine, my lady. It’s a new day albeit long. You must ready yourself. Because if you think, I was hard on you yesterday, you should think twice underestimating the crowd outside this room now.” Sunmi’s voice had jolted me up and how nerve-wracking it is to wake up to such a pep talk. I refuse to get up. I knew enough they’d be bustling around for another couple of minutes before they really have to physically get me up. So, I remained in bed. I haven’t had this good of a sleep in weeks and it blows that of all the days I finally get to do so, the pressures of my responsibilities outside, the conditions to which I have the privilege to lay in a luxurious bed like this, awaits me outside. I willed myself to go back to sleep. Trying hard to steal a little bit more comfort but I fail. The tryst whilst breaking night, had finally caught up to me and I curse the sun for coming up ending it all.

    It is hard to deny that Captain Lu Han had nothing to do with it. Though, I lay here body still heavy and groggy, I feel light and liberated. I feel myself again. The first person to just accept me the way I am packaged imperfections and all. I couldn’t help but appreciate it. I’ve more than appreciated it. I admired it. I admire him. The way he laughed at my jest and truly looked appreciative and accepting of who I am, ‘scaling princess thief’ and all. I couldn’t help but smile to myself. Bright crescent slits on his face as he laughed and laughed. It kept replaying in my head. How is that even possible to remember the very wrinkle in the feet of his temples and the lines on the every tug of his cheeks exactly like he was still in front of me displaying it with no hesitation when it had been dark and it had been passing with the way I shied away most of the time unconsciously hiding my face? How was I able to replay it over and over again like a pictogram right before me last night until now when I awoke? Even the small particles in the air that lingered as Sunmi aired out the blankets atop me danced and played along. Sliding and gliding in the sun’s ray like music notes jumping to the melodic chimes. Like piano keys playing echoes of the sound of his laughter still lingering in the wind. Refusing to leave. Even with these pastel pinks and blues and yellows shining, easing me into the morning. Thoughts of light from my wide opened window making dancing figures of beautiful pastels in front of me all because of Captain Lu Han,  I just knew I was losing it. Why I feel so relieved and light, thinking of the most abstract way to describe the glowing morning all because I can not forget those silly crescent slits. I started to fantasize about the next time I scale the wall. Maybe even a time he scales it for me. Just to talk. Just to exchange adventures, laugh and enjoy each other's company. I shake myself grinning pulling a blanket to cover my wide smile. Would it be possible again? To see him? I mean… Prince Sehun—. I gasped at the thought. Crowned Prince Oh Sehun. His best friend, I am supposed to be fighting for his hand. I am crossing an imaginary line talking to his best friend.   Enjoying his company and fantasizing about another escape just to see him. It could only be wrong. Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Shouldn’t I? I mean, with everything I’ve learned about him, I’d be a fool not to even try. I’d be a fool to not even want him. Even Captain Lu Han was enamored by him. Why not I?

    I began running the hem of the blanket against my lips and thought if I, when I meet Prince Oh Sehun, would I have the same feelings for him as I do for Captain Lu Han? Or as would Captain Lu Han for him? Would I admire him and talk so humbly but thoughtful of him? Then wouldn't it mean everything I'd feel about him just a mere infatuation, a far out cry for home, for a friend, nothing serious at all. But it isn't 'nothing'. If it had me thinking about dancing particles in the wind to his sing-songed laughter got me mellowing in the early morning when I should be preparing for the battle they speak of outside. Wouldn't it mean there were more to it? Feelings. Am I really already thinking about having feelings for Captain Lu Han? Didn’t I just recently and successfully shelved my feelings for my long time friend Kai. Who by the way kissed me and told me he’d wait for me even after I decided to leave and participate in this competition to become someone else's wife? It was surprising to see that it had been so easy to shelve it in the presence of Captain Lu Han. Everything. All of it. It had been years, this admiration I had for Kai and yet in the one night I’d spent laughing with Captain Lu Han, I was all ready to neatly put away the feelings and let him go.

   I groaned at the reality that I had to part with my bed. But thankfully, Sunmi's assistants beckoned me to get up shaking me out of a would be head and heart ache induced coma.  She and the two other girls pull me and guide my slumped body to the bathroom. My head is still groggy.

   They began washing my face, my hands then feet and taking extra care now just as usual. The dress laid out was grander that the usual full light-colored gowns I’ve grown to accept over the weeks. Now the embellishments and every other detail had surpassed anything I've been used to. It was a cream colored gown almost close to the color of my skin. But the bodice and sleeves had been see through lace with dramatic blue flower embroideries barely hiding very specific parts. The meticulous vines embroidered on the bodice had somehow seemed to enhance my features like caging in my torso to hug it tighter. It doesn't feel anything close to beautiful. I definitely don't feel it with the tightness threatening to squeeze my lungs out of air. But when I face the mirror, I see the big difference in my shape. I've never looked at myself in the mirror as much as I've done so for the past couple of weeks. And this girl in front of me is no where near the girl I've known. She was merely a girl compared to this woman with her bosoms perked and alive and her hips jutting making to a soft gentle curve on the waist. It's enticing to watch. I gasped to myself. My hair had been let down into loose curls something I had always been so conscious about what with my hair so different from everyone else. Now, I couldn't even bother. I look like a woman. Like a lady who should be attending balls and wearing beautiful gowns and attending tea parties and meeting with dignitaries. I, she looked like the sort to spend time with other fair ladies in court and escorted by highly recommended prospects. She, I looked like I fit in this place for the first time. I haven't given it a thought before. Letting the mistresses, pull and prod on me like it's also my job to just be put together for the day. But now. I'm embracing this. I'm embracing me. But something is different. They are all putting way too much work into me today.

“Something’s different.” I said matter-of-factly.

“Indeed there is. Today is the first time you are to meet the Crowned Prince. After weeks of training, this will be your only chance to get yourself in that palace. So woo the Prince today and you’re set for a whole eleven months until he decides whether you are to stay as his queen or leave as a renewed subject with a new status in life, with a new life.”

As a queen

“You will all meet with him separately and end the day at the playing grounds you and the other participants are to be presented during the games.” 

    My mind raced back to the night before with my talks with Captain Lu Han and my adventures as just Kim Hei-Ran. Suddenly, I felt the air turn heavy once again. Like the room had been swallowed and I’m slowly getting in.

“Are you okay my lady?”

    I barely heard her. If not for the echo of the girl next to her and the addition of Sunmi shaking me out of my thoughts, I could’ve wallowed in my fear and anxiety yet again. 

“It’s normal to feel a bit nervous. Although, we must keep reminding you the importance of this day, I have to say that it’s also an honor to be in front of his highness. Instead of pretending to be someone else and trying very hard to be perfect for him, I recommend you be yourself instead. It is very important to be your perfect you, but it is also important for the Crowned Prince to find the right queen and for the person to be ready mind, body and soul.”

“Be myself? In this?” She grabbed tight to her bosom and cupped it up accentuating her full almost popping out of her bodice.  

“Lady Hei-Ran, your manners.” Sunmi hissed while the two other girls snickered beside her at the gesture. 

“It’s our job, my lady, to make you very very desirable. It’s our job to make you forget about the way you look and mind yourself. You look beautiful and enticing already so you don’t have to worry about that aspect of your wooing. That was already an easy job strike out. All you need to do is be yourself.”

    Be myself? She just said to be myself. I’ve only come this far because of Minah and that is far from being myself. Does it mean to be perfect and awesome and charming as Minah? Because I am neither of those. How was I suppose to charm the Crowned Prince using my own attributes as my weapons? It had been enough to make Captain Lu Han laugh and enjoy my company. But would scaling the wall and telling him silly anecdotes of my adventures with Kai as a child enough for the king to-be, appropriate for the king-to-be. A memory stirred in my head.