Hidden Flame

Feed a flame within, which so torments me
That it both pains my heart, and yet contains me:
‘Tis such a pleasing smart, and I so love it,
That I had rather die than once remove it.

Yet he, for whom I grieve, shall never know it;
My tongue does not betray, nor my eyes show it.
Not a sigh, nor a tear, my pain discloses,
But they fall silently, like dew on roses.

Thus, to prevent my Love from being cruel,
My heart’s the sacrifice, as ’tis the fuel;
And while I suffer this to give him quiet,
My faith rewards my love, though he deny it.

On his eyes will I gaze, and there delight me;
While I conceal my love no frown can fright me.
To be more happy I dare not aspire,
Nor can I fall more low, mounting no higher.

by John Dryden

   The three of them, the Captain, the new recruit and Hei-Ran stood in front of their Majesties, as the report had been replayed. Sure enough the new recruit was right and Hei-Ran could’ve sworn she saw the Prince eye the new guard up and down with disdain.  She had followed his gaze and when her eyes fell on her old friend, she had not realized the Prince had caught her looking as well. 

    Hei-Ran couldn’t believe what she’s seeing now. Kai her best friend is right beside her in the most right of times when she needed him the most. Though clearly he’s not here for her, it had been such a great comfort to see him again. 

    He’d grown up more if she was to be frank.  The sparkle in his eyes and the playfulness in his eyes is gone at the moment but she still found her best friend in them as he looked her way sending her a quick upturn of his lips. It had been subtle for anyone to notice but the two had not realized somebody had been watching them the whole time. 

     The Crowned Prince was stiff as he watched Kai during Captain Lu Han’s report. He still couldn't forget the sight he found his two guards at their reunion in the garden. The Prince hadn't followed Hei-Ran right away but he did follow after dancing as to not look too obvious. He didn't want to show his preference to the public but he did prefer her. He more than preferred Hei-Ran. He had realized many things after his encounter with Lady Yuri in the stables that day. He thought of no one but Hei-Ran since then and though he wanted to deny it, he just couldn't especially not when another man held her tight as she cried last night. Now he's watching her gaze longingly as the other returns the glad reception. Hei-Ran pinked at the slight smirk the new recruit had thrown her and it irritated Prince Sehun to the core at the show of their affection for each other. He began regretting his decision to take Kai in. But at that time, he only had Hei-Ran in his mind. He thought to help her in a way only a Prince can and that's to secure her future through securing the future of the man he knows she'll have to end up with whence she leaves the Rose Castle. He wouldn't have it any other way.

     He still remembers Kai's face when he approached him one day by the training ground back at her home.

"I knew I'd find you here." He started, gaining the other's attention who was practicing his sword sparring with intent to no one but himself. The shock in the man's face is beyond subtle. Kai remembers the other's face when he posed as a guard picking up Ren for the contest, but had not known then of the Sehun's position as the Crowned Prince. Now he does as he stands in his full garb flanked with guards surrounding him. He stood high on the ridge with a smile on his face as if he had expected Kai's reaction. 

     After he had been announced and the guard to Sehun's left had reminded Kai of his place, reminding him to show the Prince respect, he had fisted his hands too tight and pounded on his chest too hard as he bowed for respect. 

"Your highness." Kai lowered his angered face to the ground. He had not liked to be tricked and he had immediately thought of how he sent off Ren that day. To think he sent her off with the Prince himself. He had no idea.

"Not yet." He chided but Kai had not been amused. 

     The Prince waved off his guards and they retreated with hesitation. 

"Do not fret. He is to be a friend of ours. If Lady Hei-Ran is to be right about him."

     The statement had Kai looked up in surprise. The mention of his friend had been expected but to be regarded as a 'friend'. He knew somehow he had to trust this King to be in front of him if Hei-Ran had done so herself.

     The Captain had just finished telling the King the incident when suddenly Prince Sehun stood up erect, bowed to his father, the King, and walked passed the new guard without regard.  As procedure, Captain Lu Han had to break away from the report, as well as I, leaving Kai to trail, all of us in haste. 

    He walked in such haste, and we all had to pick up strides just to catch up to him. 

“Prince Sehun.” The Captain started. But it fell on deaf ears. 

“Prince Sehun!” He had managed to raise his voice a bit but still to no avail the Prince had not heard him.

“Prince-“ He tried to start again but an angry voice boomed from behind him stopping all of them in their track. 

“Sehun!” There’s desperation in the voice laced with anger. It was almost unlike her and it surprised the three men as they watched her in shock. 

"Leave us!" She commanded.

     Captain Lu Han had stiffened. Kai stopped and they both looked at Hei-Ran in shock at her blatant disregard of her place. 

"I said leave us." She turned to the two men and they had scampered from her deathly gaze. They knew well to leave her alone when she acted this way. 

     When they had been off earshot. She finally turned to the Prince and grunted in anger.

"What is wrong with you?" She doesn't know what came over her to act this way but it irritated her to see him so aloof. It might still be the lingering feelings of hurt she had from last night but she couldn't be sure not at all if he was ignoring them. Her.

“Excuse me? Did you forget who you're talking--.” Prince Sehun had sounded surprised but was cut off immediately like propriety had not mattered between them.

"Do not pull rank on me Sehun. Something is wrong." It had been too much she started to realize her temper getting the best of her. She quickly reverted and had to continue to save face in the moment's notice. "As your guard it's my business to know."

    Suddenly, Prince Sehun had seen something else in his eyes.

Not position or anger. But... sadness?

     He suddenly felt sad to see her this way. He remembers her crying in the garden her loneliness too apparent. The way she clutched to her best friend in desperation. He heard her sobs and he had wanted to interrupt them and pull her away to comfort her himself but he was stopped by his responsibilities yet again. He somehow knew why she had run away. That's why he could only watch from a distance as another man held her in comfort. 

      Her eyes widened suddenly as if she's just realizing her place. But it still did not hit her until now. The Prince just lost someone dear to him. Of course he'd act this way. 

     The realization had forced her head down in shame and jealousy but she hid it under her tucked chin.

"I'm sorry, my Prince. I don't know what came over me." She said under her breath and Prince Sehun heard it but he didn't know how to respond to it. He took one step. And another until he was right in front of her. He reached out his hand to her shoulder and just patted it before moving along and leaving her to her moment of distress. 

     Somehow they both knew though there are misunderstandings somewhere in this brief confrontation, the bottom line is that they still have unresolved issues they both know they will never be able to face together or alone. But this is not the time. Somehow Prince Sehun realized, as well, that the time is no where in the near future.

PRINCE SEHUN'S POV

"Is she okay?" Captain Lu Han was already in his room waiting. Obviously aware of what just transpired.

     The Prince had only looked at him too sad to even speak.

"She is your guard, Sehun. And you're doing right by taking Kai in. He is needed here and she needs him. This is for her future." Captain Lu Han had patted his friend's back and squeezed it for comfort. 

"This is the only thing you can do for her." He added.

     Prince Sehun looked up at the Captain and had not even tried to hold the loneliness he held the whole time he watched her. As a tear had slipped and fell on his cheek, Lu Han could only feel sorry for his dear friend. 

HEI-RAN’S POV

"He is in the Castle. The perpetrator is here in our grounds. Smiling at me but killing off one after the other. Another guard is found dead last night. There is no real pattern to the killing."

“Excuse me, your highness. If I may be so bold.” Kai had interrupted the King very poor in his judgment and Captain Lu Han had looked stricken in shock.

“I’m sorry, your highness, He’s a new recruit under my wing. I--” He began to say but the King had waved him off curious to hear this bold new guard.

“In this instance, I’ll let it go since we’re in urgency.” He looked to Kai and nodded for him to continue. Kai steps forward and looked up at the King.

“Your highness, there isn’t a pattern in my opinion as well but it’s clearly surrounding the contest. Whoever is mastering the killing is surely weeding the contest down. The guards that were killed are from the ones in charge of the Lady participants. The one found in the garden, Lady Yuri, we found her permanent guard just meters away from her the same night. Also, research tells me that Lady Yuri is, was one of the Lady participants the Prince had shown preference to." Slowly he had said this last bit and I couldn't help but stiffen in place. I glanced at the Prince and his face darkened from the mention as well. Though nothing could be kept hidden in the Rose Castle, he looked affected and concerned. Kai, however, looks my way worried for my sake. 

"The dead guards from last night are the permanent guards of two other Lady participants. If I’m not mistaken, someone is trying to get to the Lady participants one by one and their guards are getting the first hit.” The statement had been too casual. Kai had regarded the King like one of his peers. But the King had not been offended. He looked to Captain Lu Han for confirmation and Captain Lu Han could only nod in agreement. He truly considered it after Kai came to him about it but he wasn't sure what the consequences of of voicing this out to the King may do. 

“Your highness, I had not mentioned it as to not jump in to any conclusion and frighten the participants. I wanted clear proof before I had mentioned it to you-“ He tried to save.

“But is it true? That it’s the participants’ guards that are one by one getting killed?” The King stopped him and truly considered the thought.

“There are rotations for the guards, but he is right. The men that had been killed were the stationed guards of the top five participants.”

     Prince Sehun had suddenly turned his gaze on me. Something of warning and concern. But I had nothing to add to the exchange. In truth, it crossed my mind once but something else bothered me about the thought. I couldn't put my finger on it and so I chose to ponder about it more. Though Kai may be right about the suspect weeding out the contest, I wondered further as to the 'whys' and 'hows'. I look around and catch the Queen eyeing me as I pondered. A slight upturn of her lips made me turn fully towards her stricken at the way she's looking at me. And then...

“What say you, Lady Hei-Ran?” The question had jolted both The Prince and I as I now turned my attention to the King.

“I agree with the guard, your highness. Though I have to be honest and tell you that I worry more about why it's happening and how. the perpetrator is right under our nose. And he or she may be trying their hand on the contest but for what reason, it concerns me more. It might as well be somebody taking down the highest ranking participants and the only way we find out is to wait for whoever is left standing. But that would mean we'd be putting the participants in harms way. I can only suggest that we tighten the participants' security and--" I stopped. Hoping that whatever I say next would just come out as fluid as I had it organized in my head. I pondered about this on nights I couldn't sleep. Haunted by the memory of the dead bodies and the trail this suspect is leaving behind. 

"And? Go on." The King encourages.

   I bit my lip. This thought had only come to me in the most dire moment when I found Prince Sehun with Yuri. In the midst of wanting to run away and leave this all behind to forget him. I wished for this. I wished for it all to end.

"I suggest the Crowned Prince hasten the contest and pick a bride already. It'll bait the suspect to come out and decrease the amount of harm especially if you start sending home the Lady participants who weren't picked right away. Less casualties. The suspect has been taking the offensive side. It might be time we make a move."

   He looks at me with great regard in silence as if considering something.

“My King, I agree with the Lady.” The Queen broke the silence. She stands up and stoops to offer a hand on the Prince's shoulder. She stood blocking my view of the Prince's face. But the rigid body in front of the Queen tells me enough.

"It's against tradition, but my Prince, it's time to pick." 

PRINCE SEHUN'S POV

   Mother started leaning closer, now squeezing my shoulder tighter. I felt frozen in my spot as she steadied me with her knowing glare. I had felt like I just jumped into her trap though I would not suspect she had anything to do with the circumstance.

   Had I wanted to see her face, had my mind told me to think this through, I had no notion as my Mother blocked Hei-Ran literally from my sight. As my Father scrutinized me, as everyone around me anticipated my choice, I had no other option. I nodded in agreement not for the safety of Lady participants, not for guards who are dying one by one, not for the King and the Queen, not for the Kingdom, not for anything or anyone but for the one that matters most, Hei-Ran and her safety. Because as my Mother properly placed herself between my duty and what I wanted, her glare tells me I am better off not trying to oppose her wishes. I succumb to the menace in her eyes and the responsibility I bare. Because the heavens above know I want Hei-Ran as far away from what’s about to go down in the castle. Whatever it may be. I looked to Kai in a helpless gesture and he somehow knew what to do. That by the look in my eyes he knew he already knew my choice and he already know his place.

HEI-RAN'S POV

"You are right Mother. As it is my duty to protect the Lady Paritipants, the castle and the Kingdom, I will make my choice today and send everyone else home." 

   Finally his mother stepped a side with a grin that I couldn’t read. I try to catch his attention. Like a naive child I looked to him expectantly. 

Look at me. Look at me and tell me. Though I shouldn’t, though I couldn’t, I did. I wanted to hear him say my name. I almost chocked on the breath I was holding when he stood up and finally found my gaze, neutral as he had learned to be. Regal as he always was. Far gone the boy that waited for me down the wall of my window, the boy who stayed up with me looking at the stars and dreamt of a simpler life outisde the castle. He was to be the King someday and he stood up with all his great regency, a man claiming his future wife to be. 

“Captain Lu Han. We will hold a ceremony for the chosen Lady Participant. Please call Lady Minah so I may arrange everything to her liking…”