After the introductions, we had a couple of hours to ourselves to freshen up and change to our evening attire. We were to attend an event in the open arena. I wished I would’ve asked about tonight’s events because I had no clue what to expect from tonight. Being presented to the people of Ardea is a big deal in my opinion and I was nervous to come out and be scrutinized. Not knowing what to expect and unable to be prepared for the event, I was thankful my maids had finished quicker than usual. I’d be able to get to the study and open my eyes and ears for anything about tonight. I patiently waited as one by one the participants came in the study, like me waiting to be called to the arena. But none of them sufficed. Everyone had arrived but the only one I am actually anticipating, Minah. The one person I can closely call my friend. It is both relief and fear that I feel when she finally walked in. The fact that she’s finally here to guide me and silently help me survive this both relieved and scared me to my wits. My dependence to her for my survival is too tight, I fear what would happen when the day comes and I can’t rely on her anymore. But none of it mattered when she slowly grabbed my hand and squeezed it a bit for comfort. 

“Just sit and smile.” And truly I knew she has a good soul. 

    She was right. The ceremony was nothing more than the entrance of the participants into the open arena to show the people of Ardea the faces of the ladies running for the position. There were no real introductions only a general acknowledgment of the girls before the events of the night. Received by a welcomed applause, I wondered if it was because they were genuinely happy to finally get a glimpse of the participants or because it would be rude for the masses to ignore a supposed gift from the royals. I scan the crowd and remember coming to the arena once before with Kai. Young kids then, we have been in the receiving end once watching the royals, craning our neck just to get a chance to see royalty. I felt graced then, honored to be in the same place, breathing the same air as the ones clearly above us. Mesmerized by their beauty and perfection, they were clearly different from us then. Even the way they sat, talked, smiled, or just plainly held their head stern, had been elegant. I was enamored eyes, gleaming not with jealousy but awe. Now I look at the crowd and I catch the same glimmer in some of the people’s faces. But there are a lot who really could care less about our presence.  The Crowned Prince is a position well scrutinized. And although the marriage of the Prince is of importance, there’s nothing really to be said about the Queen to be or the Crowned Princess herself.  

    I sat stiff as a board, unmoved with a smile pasted in my face like my fate depended on it. It was what Minah had done and I vowed to be her shadow to survive, even for the mean time. I gracefully chanced a glance to my left and right and saw the rest of the ladies doing the same.  The expressions went from boredom to animated, exhausted to pretending. Prompted to clap to respond, there was nothing much for us to do but be placed there like dolls to be looked at. 

    I look at Prince Sehun now and he catches my eyes. Slowly he wrinkles his eyes a bit and sends me a gentle smile. But a clearing of throat straightens him and I avert my eyes to the source, Captain Lu Han. The real Captain Lu Han. Unlike Prince Sehun’s easy smiling face, Captain Lu Han looks to be a man with a scowl pasted in his face permanently. I imagine him looking younger maybe even easy in the eyes if he could only soften. But nothing about him is easy. Everything about him is stiff and practiced. The way he looks and carries himself, I almost feel like shaking him to loosen up. I was eyeing Captain Lu Han when I catch wrinkle brows staring right at me.  Prince Sehun is examining me while I gander at his First Guard. He slightly his neck to the side but still kept his scrunched up face. My eyes widened realizing instantly what he might be thinking. He probably thinks I’m checking out his First Guard instead of him. I just know that he wont let me live this out and he’ll give me a hard time after this. He looks away but not before  shooting me an annoyed look.

    Then there was shuffling behind Captain Lu Han and a guard stepped in to whisper something to his ears. No movement. No response. He receives whatever information without so much as a reaction and waves a hand to the guard when he finished.  The guard retreats and Captain Lu Han straightens a bit and slowly bends to whisper in the ear of the Prince without haste. Thankfully the Prince had his body resting on an arm on the chair when his First Guard spoke. The hands that was gracing his chin had covered the pursing of his lips and may have obscured the reaction on his face. I might be mistaken but he looks pale from the news he just received. I slowly looked to the other participants but nobody had noticed a thing. 

     If I didn’t know then that something was wrong, it had been the suddenness of our exit that did. All the participants had been excused right after the exchange of the Prince and the First Guard. No explanation. Nothing. We looked like little toddlers sent to our rooms because it’s bedtime. From outside looking in, I noticed that people had regarded us not as if we were exiting in haste. The single line we formed quietly and the slowness of our motions had not alerted any one in the crowd or even the rest of the guards. What’s more, the First guard had escorted all of us leaving Prince Sehun in his seat still smiling attentive to the match in front of him. It was really like nothing is happening at all. Like I am the only one aware of the whole situation. And I am on guard. My training had taught me to do so. I couldn’t help but look left and right. My sights darting at every face I pass by suspecting everyone and everything that is happening around me. But nothing out of place. Just our exit and Captain Lu Han walking us out of the arena.  I wanted so much to ask the other girls or maybe even Captain Lu Han but he just escorted us to the Daughter’s Mansion and bid us good night. Frustration ebbed in me and I was more annoyed when I walked into my room and my maids acted as if nothing had transpired.

   The maids peeled off my evening attire and scraped off any sign of today’s events. Nothing about me now looked regal and I feel like myself again. But the feeling I had earlier, suspicion and fear, still lingered. I kept my ears alert for anything happening outside my bedroom door. But still it remained quiet. I sat in my bed concerned. The Prince’s face replaying back to me over and over. I know only he can clear all this up. I wondered if I chance another trek down the wall, wondered pacing my room if he'd be there once again. Would I be so lucky as to get another undivided moment with the Prince as I did the night before? But before I can get ahead of myself, my feet had taken me to my window and I had scaled it with no hesitation. One foot after another, I trudged down the wall like my life depended on it. His face surprised, paled from concern, no fear, replays in my mind and I push my feet harder to scale faster. The news was clearly significant and dreadful that even the Prince couldn’t hide his surprise. 

    But before my feet saw the green of the grass beneath me, I had been pulled off the wall without my knowledge and placed gently atop it by two strong hands. My first instinct was to grab the wrist of the mysterious person but to my shock, I almost gasped in surprise to see Captain Lu Han standing there with his arms still on my waist. Stern almost to a scowl as usual, he had looked at me bewildered in his own way. Question in his eyes, but more authority in the wrinkle that began to form in his forehead. 

“Captain Lu—“

“When the Prince told me I’d find you here. I didn't believe it until…this.” He stopped when my eyes lingered on the hands on my waist that prickled under his touch. 

    Clearing his throat, he retracted quickly with no trace of emotion in his face. 

“I wasn’t trying to sneak away. I was—“

“I’m here to tell you that everything is alright and there is nothing to worry about. The Prince sent me to appease your concerns about tonight’s events and about him. He saw your reaction and thought better to send word to you before you start scaling the walls investigating it yourself. It seems that the Prince knew well to take heed.” 

    I think I blushed at his words. I think at that moments I thought that it might’ve been the most awkward compliment or description of me ever. The Prince was right first of all. I would’ve been very concerned to the point of frustration and self-investigation leading me to trouble. And yes, I would’ve scaled the wall for it. The Prince was right about me. But what gets me is how much foresight he had to send word through his trusted First Guard. How my well-being concerned him to even send his best friend as he always called Captain Lu Han. That’s when I realized how truly significant this mans in front of me to the Prince. How important I was to him. This made me smile.

“You smile.” It wasn’t a question. Clear observation from the still very stern Captain.

“Nothing. It was just-“ I started but words had defeated me. I think about the stories that the Prince shared to me and I am enamored that this could be that same close friend. How he got along with the Prince, the Prince with him. I can only wonder.

  Then there was a prickle of interest, a slight raising of his brow that quickly went away as it had come and I knew I couldn’t just leave it alone like that. 

“He treasures you. I don’t know how much you know about how we met, but he pretended to be you.”

“I was already informed, my lady.” He straightened and looked away clearly unamused about the story. 

“First of all—“ I looked to my side and  began sitting on the ground urging him to do the same. He hesitated at first but finally followed after I refused to talk and began patting the ground for him to sit on. I wouldn't look pass him to worry about his uniform getting dirty, but the look was more of his unease of his place in my presence. He looked around first making sure no one was looking before taking a seat.

“It is Hei-Ran. And second. I don’t know how much of his pretending was real but he talked a lot about your adventures with him. I don’t know how true he was about those anecdotes but he highly regarded you.”

“What kind of anecdotes?” I must’ve said something that peaked his interest because he turned his whole body towards me and looked intently in anticipation.

   I looked away in thought trying to recall the exact way Prince Sehun had retold the story. When I spoke the words came out all too sudden and I laughed just as I did when Prince Sehun told it.

“He told me about the first time he had seen a woman or the time, he lost his underwear down by the lake. He even admitted to having to wear girl clothing once to cover up for- Wait a minute. Now I’m confused. Were those anecdotes about him or you?” But when I turned to Captain Lu Han his widened eyes and his petrified look had explained it all. The story had been real and it had been about the Captain not the Prince.

“Oh my… I didn’t.” I covered my mouth before I stifled a sudden laugh not able to hold it much longer. 

“I’m so so sorry. I tried to fight back the laughter but I just couldn’t help it. Captain Lu Han got up straightening his uniform. I jumped up to grabbed hold of his arm stopping him on his spot.

“I’m sorry. It was a very funny story…” He turned away trying to walk away again. But I tugged on his arm gently and he turned my way as I pleaded sincerely this time trying my hardest to really swallow the laughter. 

“What ever the case is Captain Lu Han, I am very thankful you were there for him. His regard for you is apparent because of your true loyalty and truly I am nothing but happy for Prince Sehun for having you at least.” And somehow his rigid body slumped a bit and he wasn’t trying to pull away anymore. His stern facade had melted a bit and I think I even saw a smile form.

    He gently peeled my hands off of his arm and he placed it to my side. 

“I am loyal to the throne, my lady. But first and foremost, you are right about one thing. I am loyal to a good friend who had always been loyal to me as well. Til’ tomorrow, my lady.” Then he tipped his head a bit and began to walk away.

“Good night, Captain Lu Han.” I said to his retreating back. I settle back to my wall and looked up into the moonless night.  A picture of a night similar to this one had invaded my mind. Kai and I laying in a plush grass by the ridge looking up into a clear night sky like this. He turns his head to look my way while I do the same and we smile to each other. Carefree and comforting. Kai had been my Captain Lu Han, true and loyal a real friend of mine. Tonight, I pray to the moonless night that there will be another night as such. One day, sometime soon. I’ll see my carefree friend again.