Prince Sehun could not sleep for the rest of the night.   The morning sun came all too soon and he found himself replaying every bit of the moment they had shared just hours ago bit by bit until the rays of the sun hit him square on the cheek waking him from his stupor. 

"I am your loyal servant, your Highness. But before that, I am your friend. And as a friend, I can only hope you wont be too cruel as to keep me by your side knowing fully well I have no place there. Goodnight, my Prince."

    What had he thought trying to keep her? He had no right from the very moment he met her. She was her own self. That was partly why he admired her.  There is a spirit that lingers in her every move and every smile. The purpose of her whole being she never held back. She is to be happy and will work for the better of her family. 

"I can only hope you wont be too cruel as to keep me by your side knowing fully well I have no place there."

   In that very moment he wished to say more. He had wished to say 'I will do anything in my power to keep you, to make you stay.' But he had realized a fault. He too wasn't in control of anything. Though power had been his birth right, he had no authority in anything. He would still need to find a Queen, a Queen his parents will approve, and his kingdom needed.

   For a moment of weakness he questioned himself. Had he really wanted to make a place just for her... just for her to stay? He knows well it will never work. But why did he want her there? Why did he want to make a place just for her? 

   Prince Sehun clenched his fist. If only things had been different for them. With his mother's warning, Lu Han's heed, his fear of losing this kind of friendship he's never known, his responsibilities, the crown... They will never have a chance.  

   He remembers walking out on her last night and it made him hide behind his arms ashamed of how he had given up so easily. But what choice did he have? She was right. There is no way he can ask her to stay if he couldn't make her a Queen. 

No, this is the only way. I am fated to find a Queen, not a friend or a lover. 

   But why did he feel a tightening of his chest making him clutch unto his tunic tight scared it'd pour out into many broken pieces?

 [Hei-Ran's POV]  

   We were all lined up as we see Prince Sehun off for his meeting with the dignitaries. Minah closes to the bottom of the step, I look now and I believe something about our positions shows our relations to our Prince. Clearly by now everyone had heard about their date in the Diamond Hills. But no one else but Minah and I know about the incident. We swore to secrecy in the very case that the assailants had some connections in the castle feeding them information.  It was a messy deal. The girls hang on the information like he was just to go out of town to be relieved of his Princely duties and he is all smiles as usual. The ladies respond to his flirtations again. But I stood frigid by the step.

    He bid all of us farewell one by one slowly whispering a promise of a sweet surprise when he comes back. Everyone was ecstatic but I was weary. He was leaving on a trip without his First Guard all because Lu Han had been ordered to fetch my father from my hometown as a gift for me. 

“You will be missed, Lady Hei-Ran.” He says for the eight time. A repeated statement that tells me there is something to be weary about. Or maybe it was his monotoned voice that alarmed me. I was supposed to respond with, “I pray for your safe journey, my Lord.” He leans to press our cheeks just like the others, but instead of letting him go I held him tight and whispered in his ears.

“I don’t like this. Sehun. Lu Han won’t be there and I hate for you to not have anyone to trust in your long journey. And all because of...”

    He pulls away and looking as though I had hurt him with mere words.  With his jaw clenched and his lips in a tight line, I was strucked when he had walked away like I have not been anyone to him. He left with a cold glare and unwavering intensity, the same way he did the night before. I was convinced then that many things had changed between us. That I've lost the one and only reason for me to stay in the castle. 

   It had gotten so lifeless in the castle with what the ladies not really caring about anything because of the absence of the Prince. He’s to be gone for a week and it’s only been three days. I’d like to sulk along with them but today was the day of my father’s arrival. Of course it had been a secret as well to the rest of the girls but Minah.  I couldn’t contain my excitement. Since she already knew of my special guest, I had invited her as well to spend the rest of the day with us. She and I are brought to the Daughter’s Mansion, rented for me and Father for the day. When I got there, he had already been 'ready', I was told. What ever that may mean. It took my whole resolve to not jump off of the carriage as soon as I saw him and Captain Lu Han by the entrance way. As soon as the carriage stopped I opened the door and jumped out from excitement. It’s been four months now since I’ve last seen my father. 

“Father.” And just like that I had lost all my words, stories and worry, everything I had prepared ready to pour out to him. 

“Hush, my dear.  You are a young lady now, yet you cry like a little girl.”

“I just—“

“Shh Shh.” He began to say until he cleared his throat and beckoned me to introduce my friend.

“Oh I‘m so sorry. Father this is my friend Park Minah. She had been one of the reasons I’ve stayed strong in the castle. A true friend indeed.” I gestured presenting Minah by side.

“Oh indeed I heard of you from Captain Lu Han. It is nice to finally meet you.” They bowed and for a second my father was so enamored he stared at Minah for a bit.

“Father, future Queen?” I leaned in and reminded him. Father looked to me abashed before I chuckled and began pulling him to go inside the mansion.

“Don’t worry Father. I’ll tell you all about it inside.”

    For the slightest instant I saw my father’s face change with a grimace, as if he’d eaten something he disliked. Somehow I could already tell the tone of the conversation for the day.

    And I wasn’t wrong. Captain Lu Han had been in the receiving room while Lady Minah accompanied him so it had gotten easier to corner me as soon as we arrived in the study.

“I sent you here to be the Queen not to rescue another girl and make her the Queen.”

“Father, She and the Prince are well suited. I have no place in that castle. Believe me.” I continued to nip on my treat. For once I want to rebel and eat like a distasteful girl who didn’t have to reserve herself in front of delicious treats as we were taught during our lessons in this very room. It had been the worst memory of all. Three tables lined with special sweets and pastries while we were given the smallest plate, instructions to take three of the smallest possible ever while in front of it all. It was torture. I’d rather be flogged to be honest or be sent to the dungeon.  I sat now devouring the treats as an act of rebellion for those lost moments.

    For a second I see my father looking out into the window and he’s looking at Minah, worry in his face. It’s rare to see his face that way making it very easy to pick up when he does it.

“Father, I’m not right for Sehun.”

    And suddenly I was flustered the casual calling of the Crowned Prince’s name had easily slipped my lips making my father examine me. He tilts his head in interest. 

“And how would you know what is right for ‘Prince' Sehun?” He emphasized the Prince reminding me of my place.

    And then I began to tell him everything, of our talks, how easily we became friends and how we talked about this very topic.

“Father, we do not have a fairy tale relationship where we both sweep each other off our feet. There are no sparks or special fireworks and butterflies that usually come with people who are in love. We had only become friends who had become easy to be around with." I paused to think that I might've lost that as well with the way he walked away from me that night.

"But with the Prince and Lady Minah, it’s different. It’s like they shine together, perfection, shining so bright it’s so hard to look at.”

    I didn’t realize it then but speaking about Sehun and Minah had made me feel sad. Realizing all too well that my time here is numbered. I will be just another girl who came in passing and will be forgotten. They will have each other while I lost my two closest friends.

    He didn’t speak for sometime. He just sipped his coffee while he watched the window some more. I look and Captain Lu was sitting by the garden and Lady Minah was gone. 

    Then finally he sat the cup of tea on the table and he settled on the window sill. My father had gotten older. He looked different from this angle like another man to be honest with his new clothes and fresh hair cut. He looked like another noble; younger, handsome, healthier. What new clothes and money could do for him and his health. I guess this is what they meant by getting him 'ready'. Suddenly, I wonder of the future and what this opportunity can do for him. I was proud to have decided it. I have no regrets at all.

“After he picks Minah, what then? What of you?” He turns now looking intently at me and I almost shrivel up in its intensity.

[The Queen] "Then, I will keep you here. But you will prove to keep your promise and remember your position to keep your provisions."

[The King] "I hear you are quite the tracker and traveler... It will be a great honor. We need your skills in the castle and you will be able to serve your kingdom the best way you can." 

[Captain Lu Han] "If you would like to stay by his Crowned Prince's side...you must find yourself a stable and rightful position next to him."

[Prince Sehun] "I only meant to offer my honest insistent to take care of you whilst you are still under my protection and I still have the power to do so. Once you leave the castle...You’ll be someone else’s responsibility.”

[Hei-Ran]"I am your loyal servant, your Majesty. But before that, I am your friend. And as a friend, I can only hope you wont be too cruel as to keep me by your side knowing fully well I have no place there."

   The words in my head, pulling me in each and every way. And I can't help but feel a bit broken. 

I know my place. I know my place. I know my...

“Father…” It was a whispered plea but my father was insistent. His intent of making the most of his time with me, it looks like he's been thinking about this for too long. The worry on his voice, the pain in his eyes, I can almost tell how hard it is for him to be here and tell me this right now. No amount of money could hide the blacks under his eyes or the wrinkle that's formed from his sadness and worry.

“I am not getting any younger, Ren. You will need someone—“

“I would have saved enough until Prince Sehun lets me go. He promised not to let me go until right before he picks so I can pocket all the money.”

“Then what? And for goodness sake, Ren. Will he be taking care of you too after he marries? Will you be his mistress? Will you be joining his chambers as well?!” There was anger and his voice strained showing he hadn’t meant it at all.

“Father!?”

“Ren, You are not meant to just be another country girl. If you haven’t noticed, You are different. You are not like the country women in town and you’re definitely not like the court ladies. You have to decide what you want to be in this lifetime. God had not given you extraordinary skills just so you can be another one of us.” Tears were welling up in my eyes and my lips quivered trying to fight a sob.

   He walked towards me and sat right in front of me still holding my gaze.

“Hei-Ran, you are not just another girl. Remember that. Your time will come and then I will tell you all.”

“But Father—“

“Please Hei-Ran.” now his voice pleaded. Something I have never heard my father do.

    I wanted to say ‘Please what Father?’ What secrets are you holding from me?’ But then there was a knock in the room and Captain Lu Han enters the room. He tells us to prepare and bid our last farewell because it was getting late and they needed to head out. My father straightens out fixing himself like nothing happened. I stand up and he hugs me very tight and finally whispered in my ears. 

“Hei-Ran, I love you and will love you for whatever you choose in life. But you must know that you are meant for something else greater than this. Look to yourself and your heart and you’ll find it. Oh child, it already has begun. May god in the highest grant you the strength and courage when the day comes. Be strong my child. Be strong.” He kisses my cheeks and squeezes me one last time in embrace. Then he dons his jacket and hat and he was off with Captain Lu Han.

    The words swim in my head that night as I lay in my bed unable to sleep. My father’s face is urgent and intent, I couldn’t believe he had come here to push me to try harder. That was it, wasn’t it? He was here to push me to try harder, to fight for the Prince?

   But I refuse to settle with someone who doesn’t want me. I refuse to push myself with someone who doesn’t even find me attractive in any way that he’ll look at me as a woman. I don’t exactly know what I want to have when the time comes and I have to settle. But I just hope that the person makes me feel the way Prince Sehun makes Lady Minah feel and vice versa.

    Two day’s later,  I awoke too early with an odd sense that something bad is going to happen. Something in the pit of my stomach told me that I have to be careful because something dark is coming.  But when tea time came still nothing was amiss I figured maybe it was a remnant of a bad dream of some sort and I just somehow forgot and had harbored remnant feelings. 

    It had been way pass my bed and I remembered looking out my window and hoping for a bit of wind tonight. It was a bit stuffy, something like rain was coming making the air heavy. I settled by my window sill when suddenly I caught sight of shadow from beyond the trees.  I craned my neck to see when I caught sight of Lu Han and Sehun sitting by the bench in the garden talking with ease much like we have on those nights. 

“He’s back.” I murmured to myself. In my excitement, I ran to my dresser and grabbed the first coat I could don before my body was scaling the wall in my bathroom in an instant. I couldn’t contain my excitement. I didn’t know until now how much I’d missed him. I practically ran passed the rows of hydrangeas almost slipping as I accidentally stepped on my gown right before I reached them. Running in a gown and still trying to hide from guards, it's almost an impossible feat by itself. But nothing was going to stop me from seeing him tonight. I've missed him, or the comfort of seeing him around.

“Whoa!!! Ouch!”

   I hissed under my breath. I still had to be quiet in spite of. 

    Captain Lu Han was chuckling very uncharacteristic of him. I had tripped and landed right atop the Prince leaving a flood of gown on a heap drowning both the Prince and I knocking down the Captain on the way.  I half expected the Prince to help me but froze when Prince Sehun suddenly stood up and walked right pass me hiding something out of my line of sight, bandaged hand. Like I hadn’t even existed. Lu Han instantly stood up in worry. And I could tell that he too was surprised by Sehun’s actions. 

   I almost wanted to cry. I wanted so much to tell him everything about my father’s visit and the puzzle he left me. Maybe even thank him again. But…

“Don’t mind him.” Lu Han was already crouched to my side and was helping me up.

   I wanted to say 'thank you' but I couldn’t wrap my mind around the Prince’s bandaged hand and I was equally surprised with Captain Lu Han’s action as with the Prince’s.

“Please don’t mind him. He just got back from his journey and it wasn’t pleasant. Wait, how did you get down from your room?”

    His softened sympathy turned into cold realization that I was a participant out of my room pass lights out meeting with the Prince yet again and he has no idea how I got out and he’s supposed to be in charge of castle’s security. But his face had changed again when he saw my tears falling out of nowhere. And he knew exactly why.

“Lady, Hei-Ran. you mustn’t tell a soul.”

    I look at him in disgust like that is ever anything he has to worry about when it comes to me.

“What happened to him?”

“It was nothing.” He says curtly. But it was too fast, I just knew something was up. Also, the response can mean that something happened but ‘it wasn’t grave’ or ‘serious’.

“I could see that it’s not grave or serious but that’s not what I asked.” Something in my voice changed and my intent made him almost bow his head in response.“Captain Lu Han.”

   The pause I forced out of him was unbecoming and he stares a bit before recollecting. “On his way to meet his father, The King, Prince’s Party was stopped in the middle of the road by…”

“By what, Captain?” I am tugging on his arm now urging him to continue although I feel I already knew what. 

“There was an attack, Lady Hei-Ran. The other party had no chance.”

“Bandits?”

“It was an ambush with one clear target, the Prince.”

“What?” My eyes widened couldn’t understand what would warrant such an attack but then I remember our excursion in Diamond Hills.

“Lady Hei-Ran, I know what you are thinking but you really need not worry anymore. We’ve been handling the situation. We—“ 

“Handling the situation? How exactly is it handled when it’s repeatedly happening?” Suddenly Lu Han had pressed his lips and now careful to reveal anymore. 

“Look, Captain Lu Han. I know you love your Prince a lot and your Prince returns the favor but to be honest with this kind of result it may seem to me that the problem may be coming from you.” It was a loose accusation. No basis but I needed more information and him pressing his lip wont help me at all so I pushed.

“Lady Hei-Ran, how dare you—“

“No, you know that with this kind of break in security the First Guard is at fault. Either you have been too lax with your job or you’re finally turning on your friend.” He gasps and I know he’s about to crack. Just a bit more, although it’s very cruel nothing will change if we keep playing these games anymore. He is about to explode, he’s so mad that he’s shaking so hard it’s scary to watch him falter like this. 

“You dare challenge my loyalty to Sehun?” The casual calling was emphasized. “You don’t know half of it, my lady. You have no idea about the constant threat that he is under all because of a debt unpaid.” And there it was, the very thing I needed to know. And in the instant my eye widened and my lips pressed he knew I got exactly what I wanted. Lu Han stopped panting now and lowered his voice. He chuckled to himself running his hand through his hair knowing too well I had gotten my way once again. That I had him once again.

“Oh your good, Lady Hei-Ran.” He shakes his head and brushes his pant leg. “You really need to quit this whole Crowned princess business and just work under me. You will do more good than this.” And he gesture to me up and down.

   I eye him still curious as to what he meant. “Tell me that debt and I will consider your offer.”

“Are you serious?” His eyes is wide and he tries to search for the hint of menace in mine.   And when he didn’t find any, he chuckles shaking his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I am having this conversation with you. I can’t believe—“

“Captain Lu Han!”

“Right. Right, the debt.”

“The Queen Mei-li was a daughter of Ardea before she became the Chengdu Queen. She bore two sons and one daughter. The daughter was arranged to be married to the next Crowned Prince of Ardea, Sehun. It had been a long ago contract with Queen Mei-li as payment for saving the life of our Queen, her best friend then. But an unfortunate tragedy befell their kingdom when their daughter died fallen from sickness. It ultimately voided the contract from then on until the Queen lost her mind and proclaimed that her daughter was still alive and this whole thing was a ploy. She accused the King of Ardea of treachery to void the contract.”

“So what now? I mean the girl is dead? What does she want from the Prince?”

“Ahh that’s when it’s gets tricky. There are rumors that say she had been stolen, hidden not killed. Because it was a power struggle that if the daughter had lived to marry Prince Sehun, Chengdu would have rights to the Kingdom of Ardea.  But years later, she showed up with the mark of her birth and somehow everyone had believed that she truly was still alive.”

“What kind of mark?”

“I don’t know. They were only baseless rumors. And that’s why once in a while, we follow leads to make sure. Before he marries one of you. Lately, it had been hard pressed, because now they are attacking more frequently because of the competition and Sehun is very very very scared that the attacks might turn to you ladies.”

“You have to pardon his actions right now because he is trying to separate himself from you all so that the assailants don’t turn their attacks towards any of you. With the lanterns festival coming up, he is scared for all of your lives. He feels like there will be another attack. We went to see the King to see if we can cancel the festival but our request has been denied. Canceling one of the biggest festivals of the kingdom he said will tip the kingdom that something is wrong and therefore ensuing panic in that case.”

“I understand now.” I lower my head. Deep in thought as I peruse the situation. They couldn’t bombard the festival with guards because of the guest but they couldn’t also leave the participants like sitting ducks. There is only one way they can keep a lid on this. And I had an idea.

“Captain Lu Han I accept your prior offer.”

“My offer? Wait, are you saying?”

“I too think that the next attack will not just be on the Prince but also the participants. My gut tells me that the pressure is on and time is running out for these assailants. With the door to the castle open to all guests, this will be the best opportunity for them to blend in and infiltrate the masses. I will take the position under you but as a participant. We can’t have too many guards during the festivities. It will alert the guests. And even with the usual entourage of guards, none of them can come inside the participants' quarters. I am the only one able to infiltrate and protect them inside when the guards can not.”

“You are right. That will be the best option we have.” Captain Lu Han considers the plan and he’s rubbing his chin and nodding his head in thought.

“I only have one condition.”

“Condition? What is it? Tell me. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Although I’m sure you’re unit is not compromised, I need to be able to trust one person in the entourage. I need you to acquire the help of my colleague.”

“Ahh! Does the colleague mentioned happen to be a certain man named Kai?”

“Wait, how do you know?” 

“Ah!” And as if he has just been enlightened he grins to himself and began shaking his head. 

“Uhm, Captain Lu Han, is there any problem with my request?”

“No, no. Think of it as a done deal. I’ll speak to the Prince now and arrange your schedule. Be ready tomorrow morning, you will be training with me from now on.” He walks away menacingly like a barer of secrets. He rubs his palms together in high spirits.

    I’m standing in the snow, ankle high. My feet cold through the boots. Slowly running tingles of frost up my legs. My clothes are not warm enough. It’s still running, painstakingly slow. It’s a live current crawling on my skin. I’m numb. I’m paralyzed, and I can’t move. I don’t move. The warm air blown from my breath is fighting the cold. It’s turning into smokes blurring my vision and drowning my face. But then warmth, a body inches away from me, not touching just hovering, it’s a hairs-breath away. The warmth emanates from it and I’m slowly melting. My face prickling in sweat because the warmth is right there on my cheek so close but not touching at all. I want to move, to feel it more, to see how comforting and warm it truly is. But I remain standing, unmoved. It irritates me and I yearn, thirsty for that warmth again. Until, I my lips and suddenly I feel it, a warm breath exhaled on my lips. The moist catching the air blown softly and it’s like a whispered kiss. I don’t know what it said, a secret, a message. Then my face cracks and the frost eats my face away instantly. Leaving me cold and frozen rigid until my whole head burst into tiny icicles.

    I suddenly awake from the horrid dream. I shoot up from the bed panting, trying to gather myself together. Trying to inhale as much air feeling my face for warmth. A cold chill had run up my spine, making the hairs on my neck stand up. I look around not seeing amiss. But a breeze, mussing my loose hair, making my skin tremble. I've began to walk towards the chill. Petals on the water, cherry blossoms and withering trees on paper, the chill had brought me to my bathroom. I found my window left bare open. I could’ve sworn I’ve closed it tight after coming back. But I guess I was wrong. No wonder it's gotten cold.

a/n: Hello readers!!! I've missed you.
I'm back in the east coast sorry for being
MIA. I was in a middle of a move. BTW
I'm in instagram babyminguk and would
love to meet some of you. Follow me and
let me know you're a DOA reader. I'd like
to follow ya'll. Again Thank you very much
for reading and subscribing.