It'd been six month since I broke up with Mark. Until now, no texts, no calls, nothing. Its really hard to move on actually, but watching him getting more popular than before, enough to make my day. Watching him smilling at the camera, enough to make me smile too. To others, it sounds so pathetic. But to me, that’s called love.

A week after we broke up, he had a self conference and denied everything happened between us. Luckily, he succeed to gain the fans' trust. Then, his comeback became a big hit and GOT7, I heard about them everywhere.

“Na Young! Its six month already. Are you sure that you’re okay?” Eun Mi asked that question almost every month and I started getting tired answering her.

“I’m okay, I’m fine.” I said with a smile on my face.

“Are you sure? I mean, you didn’t even cry since the first day you two.. you know.”

“How can you be so sure about me not having even a single tear?” I asked jokingly but meaningful, at least to me.

This whole six months I cried all night and woke up with such a beautiful smile on the next morning. I just think that I can endure everything myself. But I know, soon or after, my illness will come back. When I just can’t handle keeping them all alone.

I got home a bit late that night. Ill Woo was already slept on the couch. He started to do arts again and its so warm to see him doing such things that he loved. I was about to wake him up when suddenly, GOT7’s song is played in the television.

I turned around, Mnet Countdown special stage. I sat in front of the television, then Mark’s face appeared on the screen. I smiled weakly and without me realising, a few drops of tears ran down my cheeks. My hand slowly touched the screen. How bad I miss this kid. But nothing I can do to heal my heart. Nothing.

“Na Young.” Someone touched my shoulder. In an instant, I wiped my tears and turned off the television.

“Oppa. You’re awake? I was about to wake you up just now.”

“Enough.”

“Huh?”

“Enough with all the act. I knew you cried everynight.”

My eyes got moist and I just can’t deny it anymore.

“Come here. Just let it all out. I’ll listen you.”

I went into his arms with tears. “I miss him. So much. I can’t do this anymore.”

On the next day, I woke up early with a serious decision I had make. I made a breakfast for Ill Woo.

“What a surprise! A breakfast from my little dongsaeng?” Ill Woo said while pinching the tip of my nose.

I smiled at him and we both enjoyed our breakfast.

“Oppa.”

“Neh?”

“I think you can handle the bookstore with Eun Mi from now on.” He stopped eating after hearing my sudden unexpected speech.

“Why should I?”

“I was thinking about helping dad with his company. I mean, he’s not young anymore, I miss mom and I don’t think I’ll be okay with staying in Korea.”

“Are you sure? I mean, what if you need someone to talk to?”

“I’ve got mom, or maybe I can call you anytime I want.”

“If that’s what you want. I’m happy with your decision. You have to confirm it with mom and dad first. I’ll buy you the ticket.”

“Thanks oppa. As soon as possible maybe?”

“Why so fast? I want to spend some times with my sister.”

“Please.. I’m scared if I change my mind.” I said while pouting.

“Okay, sure. I’ll do it for you.”

At the Bookstore

I was busy working as the cashier when someone came into the bookstore with a cap and a shade. That guy came directly towards me. Reminds me of someone…

“Noona, can I have you for a cup of tea?” I was startled. It’s Jackson.

“Su..sure. Now?”

“Yup, please. I ran off to meet you.”

“Eun Mi, can you please take over my place? I’ll be back in half an hour.”

We went to the same café I had been with Mark before.

“So, anything to talk about?” I asked him after about five minutes he scan my face. “Are you sure there’s nothing on my face?”

“No, no. I just wandering.. Are you okay, noona?”

I laughed to hear his sudden  question. “Why so sudden? Do I look like I’m not okay?”

“Wow..Mark still can’t even move on..” He whispered to himself.

“Excuse me, what?”

“Nothing, just.. I was thinking your decision leaving him was the best for his career, right? But, its already six months, and I just cant take it anymore.”

“Sorry, I think you need to explain more.”

“Okay, I’ll just go straight to the point. Mark hyung still can’t move on.”

My eyebrows wrinkled to hear his statement. “He seemed fine. You guys getting hit too nowadays. Congrates by the way.”

“Thanks. Yeah, he seemed fine to everyone, but not to s especially me as his roommate. He looked like a lost soul. Totally lost. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing for his life now. He looked scattered into pieces but trying to hide them with stupid smiles of him.”

“So, what were you thinking by telling me all these?” I started to get worried about him but tried my best not to express it.

Jackson had taken back with my unexpected answer. “I thought that maybe you can help him?”

I was about to cry hearing that. I felt like want to quickly look for him but I know I cant. “I’m sorry, nothing I can do about it. With me by his side, will never gonna help anything. So, I think we’re totally done. Thanks for the tea.” I quickly left him alone in the café.

A few days gone by with my head can’t stop thinking about him until one day, Ill Woo surprised me with such a news.

“Na Young ah, I’ve got your ticket to London.”

I was watching the television got shocked with his sudden news. “Really? When?”

“This weekend. Three days ahead.”

“Re.. Really..?” I can’t describe what I really feel inside, half of me wants to fly to London to move on with my life while the other half really want to stay here and deep inside, still care about Mark.

“What’s wrong, sis?”

“Huh? Nothing. I’ll start packing now.” I went into my room to start packing up my stuffs.

I just want to make the best decision just for me.