It had been months since i last saw Hanbin. The last time I met him was in my dorm -- Hanbin had suddenly shown up in front of my doorsteps, his bloodshot eyes swollen and his body trembling.

Without saying a word, I had let him inside my apartment. Hanbin sat on a couch in the living room, staring into space and occasionally hiccuping. I made him hot chocolate with marshmallow -- my comfort drink -- and he gulped it down in silence. I sat next to him on the couch, and Hanbin suddenly rest his head on my lap. Before I could stop myself, I unconsciously ran my fingers through Hanbin's hair as he closed his eyes. 

Without exchanging a single word, we fell asleep in that position -- me sitting upright on the couch and Hanbin's head on my lap. I didn't need to ask, I knew what Hanbin needed; comfort and company.

I woke up the next morning and Hanbin was gone. That was in November 2014. It's now January 2015, and I still hadn't heard from him since.

--

"Unnie!!!"

It was Suhyun, being her always upbeat self. I would usually respond in an equally happy tone, but this time I just wasn't in the mood.

It has been a great couple of months. The Hi Suhyun unit was successful and we received awards and performed here and there. I was finally back on stage and nothing could bring me down.

Nothing but Hanbin, that is.

Now that promotion period for the Hi Suhyun unit was over, I was back to being potato couch Hayi. Back to my musical rut, as Lydia unnie would say. Back to the lonely studio sessions. It was even worse because I kept thinking about Hanbin. He hadn't even called to say congratulations when Suhyun and I won #1 song on TV. Or good luck. Or happy birthday. Why do I even care, I would say to myself.

"Not now, Suhyun," I said without even turning to her.

I was in the studio again, back to reality. Back to the sad fact that I could not produce songs that didn't sound like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

"No, unnie, listen to me," Suhyun insisted. She placed her hands on my cheeks and forced me to face her.

"What?" I asked.

"Hanbin oppa!" she said.

"Hanbin? What--what about him?" I asked, trying to sound like I didn't care but failing terribly.

Suhyun smirked. She knew I had been in a bad mood lately due to lack of