I've been crying like a child. I just wanted you to know who I am, more than any of your other fans I will love you for a thousand years. Yours Truly. - This One (Crying like A child)

I felt guilty for yelling at Bobby like I had. He was just worried about me. He couldn't help being overprotective. It was me who was blowing everything up into a big thing. I like Seung Hoon but sometimes I felt like I was using him. I was tired of everyone always thinking of meb as this innocent little girl. I was tired of everyone thinking I was this naive girl who needed to be protected. Seung Hoon didn't think of me like that, he just wanted me and that was it. I liked the feeling of being wanted. I think I like that feeling more than I liked him and that made me feel guilty. I especially felt guilty when I had thoughts like I would rather not see Hoon than lose Bobby as my friend. I didn't think I could survive if I didn't have him in my life.

I walked around the side of Bobby's house where I knew he always went when he was upset. I needed to apologize to him and tell him if he didn't want me to see Hoon than wouldn't no matter how guilty it would make me feel. I stopped short when I heard voices.

I recognized them.

It was Bobby and Hiyi.

I stepped closer about to reveal myself to them when the sound of Hi's sobs made me stop short. Why was she crying? And more importantly why was she crying to Bobby? They couldn't even stand each other. I inched closer. "Do you even care about me?" She askd.

"That's a stupid question, of course I care about you."

"Do you love me more than Suhyun?"

He took off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. "Come on Lee Hi. Don't go there." He said. Hi laughed bitterly. "Because I won't like the answer right? When you kissed me did you think of her?"

Bobby turned and tried to walk away but Hi grabbed his arm and pulled him back. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his. I gasped as Bobby wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back. I felt my eyes tear up. What the hell was going on? Hi pushed him away as suddenly as she had pulled him to her.

"Its not the same. It doesn't feel the same. How could I have been so stupid?" She said.

It seemed like she was talking aloud to herself. She shook her head as if trying to clear it. "That's the last kiss you'll ever get from me. Its clear who you love. You should tell her before its too late." She said before walking away in my direction.

I was too stunned to move. I would be discovered and I didn't even care. "Suhyun!" Hi gasped when she saw me standing there. Bobby walked over quickly with the same look of stunned horror on his face. "Suhyun." He said my name also.

"What is this?" I asked waving my hands around in their direction. When did whatever this was start? Here I was about to tell him I would break up with hoon if he wanted me too and he was here making out with my sister. I my heel and walked away. Tears were beginning to fall and I didn't want them to see me cry.

By the time I reached my front door my cheeks were soaked. I knew that I looked a mess but mom and dad wuldnt be home yet so I wouldn't have to explain. I opened the door and walked in slamming it behind me. It was opened again and Hi stood there.

"Leave me alone." I told her. I walked up the steps. I could hear her following behind me. "I said leave me alone." She looked at me sadly. How dare she try and play the victim here. "I'm not saying anything."

"Well don't follow me then." I went into my room and closed the door. I collapsed on my bed and buried my head in my pillow. I'd never felt so much anger, hatered, and heartbreak as I had now. Seeing Hi and Bobby like that was tearing me apart. Were they secretly dating? Had they been keeping this huge secret from me all this time? God I felt so stupid.

There was a knock at my door. "Go away." I shouted.

I heard the door open and I lifted my head from the pillow to glare at my sister. "We have to talk about this Suhyun."

"No we don't. Get out!"

She sighed and that just pissed me off more. She was annoyed? She was exhasperated? Well so was I. "That wasn't what it looked like back there." She said.

I laughed bitterly. "Oh so you and Bobby weren't kissing? My mind was just playing tricks on me?"

"Yeah we kissed, but that was it. It was nothing more. He doesn't even like me."

Yeah right. Everyone liked Hiyi. Perfect Lee Hi.

"How many times?" I asked.

"How many times what?"

"How many times have you kissed him?"

"Just twice." She said.

"Wow only twice. So you betrayed me only two times huh." I shook my head angrily. "Why Bobby? Why did it have to be him? You have everything. You're beautiful, you're smart, you can have anyone why does it have to be him?!" I shouted. Lee Hi rushed over to me and gathered me into her amrs. Even though she was the source of my pain I sobbed on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Suhyun. I started being attracted to him. And I kissed him. And I knew it was wrong. He wasn't meant for me. He's never been meant for me." She said. "I know you two belong together. He doesn't even like me in that way." She continued.

I thought about what she was saying and I pulled away. "What do you mean?"

"Its hard to explain. I like bobby. He's cute and I was attracted to him but I don't like him."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "That doesn't make any sense."

"I was confused. That's the best I got." It wasn't funny and it wasn't a laughing situation but I laughed. Then I sobered as a thought occurred to me. "But why did he kiss you back?" I asked brokenly. "He loves you." She said back in answer. "I can't say what made him kiss me back. Anger out of you dating Hoon... I don't know. But what I do know for sure is that he loves you. The question is do you love him back?"

I didn't have a answer for her.

For hours I laid in bed with Hiyi holding me. We talked and we shared secrets and I forgave her. I don't think I will ever be able to erase the image of her kissing Bobby from my mind but I couldn't hate her for it either. She is my big sister and she loves me and never meant to hurt me. I think it help that she confessed to me that she realized that there was someone she liked even more than Bobby. If she still held feelings for Bobby it would have been harder for me to forgive.

Jealousy is a .

Me Hiyi mom and dad were sitting in the living room watching Kpop star when the door bell rang. We all looked around at eachother but didn't get up. "Hiyi you get it." My dad said. "Dad!" She whined pouting. I laughed. No one wanted to get up and answer the door. "Fine fine. I'll get it." I told everyone. They all sighed in releif. I was still laughing as I answered it. My smile fell of my face.

It was Bobby.

I wasn't ready to face him yet. I thought I would have the weekend to avoid him before we went back to school. I needed time to think about what I wanted to say. He watched me nervously. Well I guess there was no avoiding him now. "One second." I said closing the door on him.

"Bobbys here. Were going for a walk." I told my dad.

"Be back in a hour."

I nodded. Before I left Hi caught my eye. "You ok?" She asked.

"Yeah."

At the door I put on my shoes and pulled on a sweater. When I opened the door Bobby was standing there waiting for me.

We walked in silence for a while, neither of us saying anything. The wind was blowing lightly and the moon was out. I glanced to my side and saw him looking at me also. I looked away. "So.. Are you going to say anything?" I asked him. I wanted to hear what he had to say before I said anything. "Yeah. Well first off I wanted to say sorry for how I acted at school today." I nodded accepting that. What I really wanted to hear about was him and Lee Hi. He looked at me expectantly. "What about you and Hiyi?"

"There is no me and Hi." He said quickly. "What did she tell you?"

I shook my head. "No I want to hear what you have to say. I already heard what Hi's side. I want to know what you were thinking."

Lee Hi kept insiting that Bobby was in love with me but I wasn't so sure. Maybe he really did like Lee Hi. Why else would he kiss her? "My feelings?" he said sounding confused. "You're feelings for my sister. Do you like her. Do you love her?" I prompted.

We came to a bench and he sat down. I sat beside him watching his face. I wanted to see his expression while he answered this question. I would know if he was lying.

"I love Lee Hi. But its the kind of love like I care about her and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. I'm not in love with her."

"But you kissed her." I said softly.

"I know. And I felt guilty as soon as I did. I knew it was wrong. I just couldn't figure out why." He took a deep breath. "I know you won't believe me but I realized I felt guilty because I'm in love with you."

He looked me in the eye sincerely. "It's you Suhyun, its always been you. It took for you to get involved with Seung Hoon for me to admit to it. I don't want to lose you as a friend though if you don't feel the same."

"I don't want to lose you either. When I saw you and Hiyi kissing I was coming to tell you I was going to stop seeing Seung Hoon."

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah. I couldn't stand the idea that you were so mad at me that I could lose you. I rather have you in my life than anyone else."

He watched me closely before replying. "So what does that mean? Do you feel the same way about me?"

I laughed. I've always been a little bit in love with Bobby. He's always been the one I could turn to for anything. I judged all guys according to him. But I pushed those feelings so far down for fear that it would jepordize our friendship. But now here he was telling me that he felt the same. It was almost too good to be true. "Yeah I do. But I'm scared of things changing."

He took my hand in his and held it tightly. "We don't have to rush into anything. We can take it slow ok?"

I nodded. "Yeah, slow."

He smiled wickedly at me. "I'm going to kiss you now."

I leaned back away from him. "No. I'm still kinda, techinically with Seung Hoon. I have to talk to him first. I 'll call him when I get home."

He sighed heavily. "Fine. Ok. But I can atleast hold you're hand right?"

"Yes. That's fine." I laughed at the obvious frustration in his voice.

"its not funny." He pouted.

I laid my head on his shoulder and squeezed my hand tightly in his. We sat there gazing up at the night sky.