a/n: surprise surprise! heads up: this is longer than my other fics so you probably will spend twice the time reading this... also, this is something i've never really attempted before (soulmate a/u) because i usually write close-to-life ones so i hope you guys enjoy this breath of fresh air? /prays fervently/ other than that, i really enjoyed challenging myself to writing this piece, so if you like it please please please comment/subscribe/upvote? i would love some feedback on how to improve too! thank you for dropping by :)

dedicated to my wenrene trash on kkt because their daily wenrene spam made me realise i had to come back and write something, esp with the quality content they've been providing on level up <3

AND CAN U GUYS GIVE ME UR TWITTER BECAUSE I WANT MORE WENRENE CONTENT @bloodscrolls T.T

---

Joohyun turns 21 this year, but still can’t fathom the way things work around here. She turns her left wrist around slowly, gazing blankly at her ring finger that is clean and free of specks. She remembers her best friend Seulgi running to her this morning and showing her traces of a letter on her ring finger, “unnie, look! I think I’ve met her already, I just don’t know I’m in love with her yet!” She smiles, “good for you, Seul,” but can’t help and sigh at the dim prospects of finding her soulmate as her finger remains trace-free.

It happens everyday, every minute, to someone out there, but Joohyun still can’t grasp the concept of it all: this concept of soulmates and their identity being revealed trace by trace on your left ring finger. There’s no fixed formula to this, Joohyun realises: Seulgi says a letter had appeared on her finger but she hasn’t felt keenly aware nor attracted to someone so it definitely meant they have been acquainted already for that to have happened. Yeri, on the other hand, had the entire name traced out when she ended up kissing her best friend during a dare at one of her classmate’s slumber party, realises her soulmate had been there beside her all along.

Joohyun likes to pick her friends’ hands up and scrutinise their fingers, as if in a science laboratory, putting their fingers up to the light, turning at different angles to see the way the light falls and casts a different hue on the letterings. She learns that the font differs in each person – perhaps an identifier of the type of soulmate the person is: Seulgi’s soulmate, “soo” (2 o’s appearing as days passed by) is in a bold, non-connecting calligraphic font. She tries to ask Seulgi if she knows anyone who is confident, even a little brash at times and dense Seulgi can’t decide between the 2 Sooyoung’s and a Soojung in her social life, but Joohyun is almost three-thirds convinced it’s that Park Sooyoung next door who has been spending too much time with Seulgi, making Seulgi use weird slangs she knows Seulgi would have never picked up by herself. (Seriously, Seulgi has never said something along the lines of “bruh, the party was so lit yesterday!” to Joohyun before and she never wants to hear such a disrespectful tone from her again.)

Yeri, on the other hand, Joohyun scrutinises, has her finger decked in a more artistic font: romantic curvy letters that flow into one another; Chaeyoung, and Yeri confirms Joohyun’s impression of her soulmate by talking about how Chaeyoung is an art student, taking delight in drawing, painting and writing song lyrics when she has time on her hands.

She picks up her pen, scrolls through the various fonts online and practices writing the names of her ex-crushes on a piece of paper, although with each passing she feels emptier.

---

There’s not much time to ponder on the whims and fancies of a much too romanticised life indoctrinated by the statute of soulmating in this world, so Joohyun learns to move on and out of it by going abroad to study for a year. Accepted into a university in Toronto as part of her university’s exchange programme, she excitedly carries her 2 luggages and backpack and readies herself for a new journey halfway across the world.

The culture shock is not to be underestimated, to say the least, because as much as Joohyun is open-minded and has unwillingly been influenced by Yeri and Sooyoung, she still can’t fully open herself up to the college life in a western country. Orientation week marked by the endless parties? Cheap alcohol and god-knows-what pills they pass around in frat houses? The daring moves made by intoxicated (or not) strangers? Joohyun has tried to prepare herself beforehand, reading up on getting-to-know-the-country web pages, but nothing could still ready her anxious heart as she feels too traditional and conventional, even more so due to her introverted nature, standing in the middle of drunk students celebrating the start of yet another university semester away from the chains of their parents.

Dawn spells more hope for Joohyun, because people are not influenced by alcohol to try funny things with her, and she meets genuine students who are ever-ready to lend a helping hand. At a foreign-students’ tea session, for example, Joohyun meets fellow Koreans who are there to study temporarily like her, or to get a degree after a 4-year programme. She meets a girl who catches her eyes mainly because she’s so, so different from shy and quiet Bae Joohyun and likes the way the girl seems to know that, treading carefully around her so as to not burst the introverted bubble Joohyun is used to living in.

“Hey, I’m Wendy,”

Joohyun can’t remember if she’s Korean, or not, because she looks too mixed with extremely fair skin and speaks perfect English, whatever Asian roots in her seemed balanced out by the Western cool weather and its liberal culture making her look more amicable than she already is. Joohyun is too shy to ask, and assumes she is just part of the organising team of this tea session for foreigners to get acquainted with each other.

“Hi, I’m Joohyun,” she replies meekly and feels her English to be terribly sub-par even though she knows she is one of the best in her classes back in Korea.

“Nice! 만나서 반가워요 (nice to meet you), right?” Joohyun tries to mask her surprise, but she catches the girl laughing, brushing it off with a “yeah I know a little, I’ll see you around!”. The girl quickly leaves, attending to other students and being the cheerful and helpful member of the orginising committee Joohyun thinks she is in.

---

“It’s you again!”

Joohyun turns swiftly at the voice to her right and realises it’s that Wendy girl from the foreign students’ tea session. “Mind if I join you?”

Joohyun barely edges out a nod before Wendy plonks on the seat next to her, taking her laptop out and readying to take notes for the lesson. Joohyun counts her breaths and on the tenth, she slowly turns to Wendy, whispering, “you’re a Literature major too?”

“Yeah, sophomore year, you should be a year older since you’re on exchange, right?” Joohyun replies with a nod and re-focuses herself on the screen blaring notes on contemporary Literature conventions.

Yet her mind can’t help but wander to the girl adjacent to her, decked in round thin-framed glasses, her bangs falling loosely but still neatly over her forehead as she types on dilligently. Joohyun wonders if she’s popular, she must be, to be attractive and participate in some university committee… If she was, she definitely didn’t act it, because as the professor dismissed the class, Wendy chirps, “hey, you’re probably new to the surroudings right? I can bring you around if you want!”

Wendy takes her to the students’ union, where most of them are having lunch and drinking frappes from Starbucks and as much as Joohyun wants to live the true Canadian lifestyle, the past week of partying an fast-food binging has made her a little homesick, for something a little calmer, a little more Asian. Wendy briskly circles through the crowd of students and Joohyun is barely keeping up, but finally they reach a cosy corner where, lo and behold, a tiny bubble tea shop stands proudly.

“Thought you might want something close to home, although it’s not like a, Korean thing” a lop-sided grin forms abashedly on Wendy’s face, but Joohyun appreciates the gesture nonetheless.

Joohyun makes do with what she has, and orders a lemon citron tea with pearls to chew on while Wendy settles for a milk green tea with herbal jelly. They sit at a rickety table provided by the shop and despite the noise, Joohyun and Wendy converse like long-time friends with Wendy gently urging a timid Joohyun on, but Wendy, like pushing the right buttons, seems to always get Joohyun talking in no time.

Joohyun learns that Wendy is studying here, has been there since young and intends to get a English degree from the school in another 2 years’ time. She also vaguely remembers herself saying something about being Korean but being too acclimatised to her western surroundings as a child has made her feel like a Korean so Joohyun doesn’t press further on the topic. Joohyun, however, feels eternally thankful when she learns Wendy is in all her 3 classes and feels bad when she forms a predetermined thought of making Wendy her partner for all of them. “Don’t you have other friends…?”

“If you haven’t realised, students in Literature tend to keep to themselves, and most of my friends are from the extra-curricular clubs I’ve joined, so if you wanna partner up for classes, I’m defo cool with it,” Wendy smiles.

---

They spend their days after classes like this: somewhere quaint that Wendy has found in her stay here, either in school or nearby (which Wendy, too, will kindly cycle Joohyun to in her baby blue city bicycle) and sit drinking hot chocolate or eating club sandwiches while watching the world pass by.

“How’s school so far?” And there’s so much Joohyun wants to tell but worries if she’s wasting Wendy’s time. Then Wendy lifts her arm onto the table and places her chin on her closed knuckles, inching closer as if to encourage Joohyun to share her thoughts and Joohyun starts ranting about the excessive parties and weird-pushy strangers. “I mean, I still really like it here, classes are fun, the country is so beautiful, the students are nice when SOBER, but it’ll take some time before I get used to everything… I also used to have a roommate back in Korea, so not having one now is kind of… disconcerting.”

Wendy simply nods softly, accepting everything she says without appraisal or the need to defend her country or school. “Well, if you need anyone, I’m here, for real, though.” Wendy, if Joohyun remembers that one time clearly, suavely picks out a pen from her battered backpack (as if she hasn’t bought a new one since high school, but still looks cool all the same), writes her number on the slightly damp receipt and hands it to Joohyun.

It happens in a blur, but Joohyun clutches onto the crumpled receipt like it’s the only jajjangmyun left in the western school, and watches Wendy leave hurriedly after saying she is late for an extra-curricular meeting.

Days pass vaguely, and Joohyun lies in bed wondering what she should do with the newfound knowledge that is Wendy’s number. She has keyed it in her phone but the cursor has never moved beyond a hi!, much less a SEND. She spends her free days cooped up in her room, alternating between watching the latest Korean drama and typing-untyping a message under Wendy’s name. She is torn between making friends, enriching her whole exchange experience and being the shy coward she is, who ruins her own exchange journey because she wouldn’t continue the steps in friend-making.

---

The day finally comes when Joohyun will meet Wendy in one of her classes and she slightly panics at the thought of Wendy’s reaction – what if she ignores Joohyun for not returning the friendly gesture? What if Wendy demands an explanation? The multiple what-if’s rattle in her head as Joohyun wonders if her one and only chance of making a friend has been destroyed by her own cowardly hands and will into disaster as she steps into the classroom.

Wendy, however, is anything but angered. The smiles in her eyes obviously say otherwise as she perks up at Joohyun’s entrance. Joohyun doesn’t know how to feel about it (maybe she’s too popular to require a text message from me?) and that hurts Joohyun a little but she brushes it off because Wendy isn’t upset and that’s what matters. She can’t deal with confrontations, much less one in a foreign country so she quietly sits down besides Wendy.

“Hey there,” Joohyun smiles at the greeting, as if nothing has changed between them, until Wendy continues, “why didn’t you text me?”

“Uh…” And Wendy turns to face her, arms crossed and frowning. Joohyun’s eyes paces left and right, trying to come up with an excuse besides one that is her inability to make conversation first – which is really her being a big baby.

“Yo, I kid,” Wendy chuckles, lightly shoving Joohyun’s shoulders in jest, as if understanding Joohyun’s reserved nature. She lets out a deep breath, like easing out whatever false tension Joohyun had imagined and asks cheekily, “For standing me up, text-wise, join me for a party tonight?”

Joohyun tries not to scrunch her face up in disgust, but Wendy catches a glimpse of it, “I promise not to let strangers come within 200 metres of your radar, Joohyun-ssi,” Wendy says as she mock-bows like a knight and Joohyun is charmed by her enthusiasm to include Joohyun in her social activities so she rolls her eyes and pretends to not be impressed by interesting Korean-Western specimen Wendy.

---

Wendy holds her hand and drags her through the house of students gripping red cups on either hands and chatting boisterously with their friends. She vaguely introduces Joohyun to her close friends who are as friendly as Wendy, gingerly shaking Joohyun’s hand and not-so-quietly asking Wendy if all Literature majors are this pretty, and Joohyun hardly catches the “just this Korean one”. She feels a blush rise up her cheeks and briskly walks over to the alcohol table to quench her thirst.

“Looks like you’re more excited than me,” Wendy follows after her quickly, watching her pour herself half a cup of vodka before filling up the rest with cold orange juice. “Easy there, that can pack a punch after awhile,” Wendy cautions and Joohyun looks over to see a sincere look of worry painted on her face, wonders if this is how care for someone significant looks like. She’s thinking too far already, and washes the drink down.

“Woah, ok,” Wendy motions with both her hands as if to slow Joohyun down, but Joohyun looks up and refills her own, while making the same concoction for Wendy as well. They toast and drink up, and repeat this procedure after making their way back to Wendy’s friends.

Wendy was right when she said it was a deadly concoction, especially with the skewed ratio she was pouring the vodka and orange juice at. Couple of drinks later, the rambunctious noise from the crowd and music had faded to a low bass-heavy thudding in her head and she felt disconnected from her body, as if her soul was existing in an empty bubble within her body but not physically tied down to it. Everything felt numb and she felt like she was in space, yet she could still make out the faces of those around her and if she focused long enough, she could understand the conversations or music playing in the background, like how everyone was now swaying unglamorously to Scared To Be Lonely, eyes half-closed and hands waving as the song approached the chorus and electronic rift of the song.

As she softly bops her head to the tune, she feels a hand grip hers and bring her to the dance floor, closer to the DJ. She’s too drunk to react but relaxes when she sees Wendy in front of her, excitedly mouthing “DANCE WITH ME” amidst the noise in the crowd. Joohyun nods along and the groove makes her entwine her arms around Wendy’s neck as she sways according to the bass beats. Wendy seems to be enthralled by a less reserved Joohyun when drunk so Wendy eagerly holds her waist in return, but ruins Joohyun’s momentum by drunkenly jumping to the song instead, her hair messily swiping across Joohyun’s face.

“Stop ruining the song, damn it!!!!!”

“Am not!”

Joohyun grunts, and stills Wendy by pressing her shoulders down. Wendy laughs casually, and they resume dancing together with Joohyun’s arms limply resting over Wendy’s shoulders while Wendy holds her lightly by the waist.

They start sobering up from dancing too much, and plan on getting more drinks, “but after this song”, Wendy says. They remain in their position as Slide comes on after screaming to “I might!” in the lyrics along with the other inebriated adolescents, and giggle in sober drunkenness as they realise the frivolousness of their actions. Joohyun takes this time to stare at Wendy, basking in this proximity, her neatly drawn eyebrows, slightly dark eye mark-up replacing her usual glasses, ending it off with a light blush and cherry-red lip tint. Wendy has always been attractive, but seeing her under strobe lights, seeing her this up-close, (perhaps being drunkenly sober has its merits too, because she can be grossly honest with herself), Wendy is gorgeous. ing stunning, to say the least, coupled with the way Wendy has been treating her. It was like Wendy had picked Joohyun up (no pun intended) like a well-bloomed flower along the highway so it wouldn’t be crushed by the speeding trucks, brought it home and made sure it continued to blossom, lightly touching its delicate petals everyday and was always careful in tending to its fragile nature.

That thought strikes Joohyun all of a sudden, and she finds herself gazing too deeply into Wendy eyes, and Wendy is smiling at her, as if happy that she got Joohyun to come out tonight because she can tell Joohyun is having the time of her life. Joohyun can’t help but move closer, and grips Wendy’s shoulders for support because this is what she wants, she wants to know how it feels like and hopes it manifests with her kissing Wendy.

Her lips touch Wendy’s briefly and she’s unsure if she should continue and it’s too late to regret now, but there’s still time to pull away, she thinks, until she feels Wendy pressing back into her, lips firmly latched against hers as they move in tandem.

She presses her forehead against Wendy’s bangs as she breathes heavily and Wendy looks at her, slightly worried, “You ok?” Joohyun nods and kisses Wendy again in assurance.

They get more drinks, and Wendy was right when she said there wouldn’t be any strangers around Joohyun that night, even if a few drunkards crossed her personal boundaries to forcefully introduce themselves to her, because she had remembered Wendy by her side throughout the party. Joohyun had whined about staying on to drink and party more but she remembers Wendy shaking her head firmly, getting her to jump on her back as she carried an exhausted and intoxicated Joohyun home.

---

Joohyun wakes up, head pounding and parched. She turns to see a glass of water and hungover medicine on her bedside table, and immediately chugs it down. As she refocuses her eyes to the light filtering in her window, she glances at her clock and for a moment panics that she is late for class, until she realises it’s a Saturday and has a good full weekend to recover from her hungover. She clicks her phone open, sees a few text messages about Seulgi ranting about the recent drama episode, and then one from Wendy that says, “hope you’re doing ok! Drink up and take the medicine to recover faster :)” A smile flits across her face and Joohyun suddenly feels her heart clench at the realisation that Wendy must have taken her phone to call Wendy’s in order to get Joohyun’s number, appreciates the fact that she had taken the initiative when Joohyun had no guts to do so.

Her mind flashes back to the night before, when she tastes the remnants of alcohol tainting the back of her uvula, and lets out a soft gasp, suddenly vaguely feeling her bruised lips. I kissed Wendy last night. That thought itself triggers a slew of emotions, she sits upright, her breath softly jerks, eyebrows slightly crease into frowning crescents, eyes wide as the moon… her frozen posture culminates with an ironic turmoil that churns in the depths of her diaphragm, where she feels her heart expand larger than her lungs, stretching her diaphragm thin – she’s quick on her breathing, her heart thumping while the moment plays back in her head. She swallows deeply and an epiphany whispers in the corner of her head as the memory fades out: she lifts her left hand up to her face, shuts her eyes and hopes her hunch isn’t wrong.

w.

That’s a good sign, Joohyun thinks, and a smile creeps up her face thereafter, in a child-like manner. It’s finally happened. There’s a chockfull of air in her lungs and she feels her heart swelling with blood and she’s so dizzy from the oxygen but more so the revelation that she falls back happily on the bed, grinning as she turns her left palm left and right, her turn now to analyse the letter under the soft glow of the morning Saturday sun.

It’s too short to decipher the font, but Joohyun can make out that it’s not too much like Seulgi’s bold Park Sooyoung, and thanks god that Wendy doesn’t have that vulgar, brash side to her. She eagerly anticipates the days to come, like waiting for a cool shower after being trapped in what had seemed like a never-ending drought.

---

She doesn’t tell Wendy, doesn’t plan on doing do because mainly it’s because she doesn’t know how, so she resumes her normal routine with Wendy in classes and hang-outs after, simply rubbing the side of her ring finger with her thumb in a fond manner as a reminder of her feelings and eventual journey to (re)uniting with her soulmate.

Wendy, in a considerate attempt not to embarrass her too much, doesn’t press on the issue that happened that night, only once in awhile nudging shoulders with Joohyun making subtle references to it, “say, was I good? Because you definitely were,” “strawberry lipgloss is good, keep wearing that.” Joohyun can only blush in return and as much as she is eager to brusquely lift Wendy’s arm up to check for mutual feelings and a checkmate of fate, she waits for time to pass, because the letters haven’t fully appeared, and she’s more excited to watch the name of her soulmate appear eventually, and analyse its font.

With each passing day, her love for Wendy grows exponentially, it’s not (just) Wendy’s kissing that makes her swoon, but realises that from the very first day she hadn’t intimidated her in any way, used her popularity to take advantage of a new foreign student. Besides helping her get used to school and simply going out as friends, Joohyun sees Wendy running around on errands for her friends, carrying flimsy takeout trays of frappes for her committee members, staying back to help other clubs paint banners, and even volunteered as a team member for an odd-numbered team in one of those after-school recreational sports session. Her heart simply can’t help but swell that this perfect person is hers and only hers, is motivated to be a better person for this beautiful person named Wendy Son.

With that, as she lay in bed that night, she thought of what the future held for her and Wendy, their ring fingers intertwined in what she imagines Wendy’s name to be written in a flowery font that wraps itself prettily around her finger, the way morning glories twine themselves around a garden fence.

She wakes up the next day to a new letter slightly spaced away from the previous w.