Sehun was regretting his life. He regretted every decision that he’d ever made that had led him up to this point. Even that time that he’d chosen to bet on the number 72 instead of his favourite 94 which had resulted in him winning the giant chocolate bar that had made his mom regret her life. Even that amazing chocolate he regretted. Because every decision he’d ever made had all played a part in how he’d ended up like this. He was currently inside Baekhyun’s bedroom violently trying to close his filled-to-the-brim suitcase because apparently he was going to Europe today. To Europe! Of all places! They hadn’t even been specific about where in Europe they were going to! And his parents hadn’t even forbidden him to go as he’d hoped that they would. Stupid parents being all happy for him that the country’s biggest designer had taken him under his wing. Stupid parents being all supportive of his dream of being a fashion designer in the future. Stupid parents who had brought into the world a son who couldn’t come up with a perfect excuse why he didn’t want to go to Europe. This was not the life Sehun had planned for himself.

And to think that only three hours ago he’d been standing next to Baekhyun, fire extinguisher in hand, watching what could only be Chanyeol preparing to make a fool out of himself. Luhan had just explained to them that since the book that Chanyeol had tried to interpret for God knows how long, also had belonged to Chanyeol in his previous life he simply just had to set the book on fire to be able to read it all. This sounded extremely stupid to Sehun. Books are made out of paper. Fire likes paper. Whoosh! Paper gone. But apparently everybody else (sans Baekhyun) thought Luhan’s idea completely plausible, so here they were. All of them standing around the table where Chanyeol was sitting. Although they tried to ensure Baekhyun that it would be completely safe Baekhyun had forbidden them to set anything on fire without some precautions. Hence Sehun and the fire extinguisher. Baekhyun had also offered Chanyeol to go get some matches but Chanyeol had only scoffed and said that that really wasn’t necessary.

Sehun had been preparing himself to finally see Chanyeol confirm his beliefs of all of them being crazy. To see him pretend to make a fire out of nowhere and for the rest of them joining him in the imagination. So when Chanyeol clapped his hands and there suddenly was a small flame in his right hand Sehun was surprised. He almost set the fire extinguisher on him but at the last second he stopped himself. Sehun hadn’t been prepared to see this. But what was surprising him the most wasn’t the fact that Chanyeol had been able to produce a flame out of nothing, but that he was far more calm than expected. He didn’t feel scared at all. And that almost scared him. It was like seeing Chanyeol make fire put some warmth (pun intended) and familiarity in him. He almost felt nostalgic looking at Chanyeol in the glow of the fire he’d just created. And that was certainly not a normal reaction.

For a second Chanyeol only looked at the flame, a small smile on his face, and then he placed his hand on top of the book lying open on top of the table. The book burst into flames and Sehun once again was about to heroically jump in and extinguish it but a hand on his chest held him back. He looked briefly at Baekhyun who, other than the hand on Sehun, seemed to only have attention for the fire. When Sehun turned back to the book the fire still hadn’t spread anywhere else. It was solely fixed on the book. Not even a spark touched the table, all of them sizzling out moments after they appeared.

Half a minute passed, every second feeling longer, as they all in silence observed the flaming book. And then Chanyeol suddenly passed his hand over the book, catching the fire in his hand before he closed it around the flames, safely putting it out. They still weren’t saying a word as Chanyeol slowly reached for the book. The tension in the room was almost tangible as Chanyeol let his eyes roam over the open pages in the book.

After a moment that felt far too long Chanyeol finally looked up, a triumphant smile grazing his features.

“It worked!” He exclaimed and everybody could finally let out the breath they’d subconsciously been holding.

Luhan and Chanyeol had immediately started to skim through the pages for any information that they could use at the time being. Kyungsoo, Yixing and Jongin returned to sit by the fireplace, Kyungsoo and Yixing quietly talking to each other and as Jongin had offered Kyungsoo his lap he was therefore working as some sort of extra pillow, which just seemed ridiculous to Sehun since Baekhyun’s chairs were definitely softer than a human’s thighs, but they seemed comfortable enough so what did he know. Baekhyun was sitting on the table looking at the book from an upside down point of view, which may or may not actually be helpful. That left Sehun standing alone, still holding the bright red fire extinguisher in his hands. He didn’t really feel like joining either the reading party or the talking party so he just opted to mindlessly look through his twitter feed while waiting for updates. He still wasn’t over the weird nostalgic feeling he had gotten earlier and he actually felt like talking to someone about it. The only problem now being that the one person he wanted to talk with was completely immersed into reading the book he’d just set on fire. Hopefully he would find some time later to talk to Chanyeol about it. There should be plenty of time since they were both going to Europe, and if Sehun was lucky Chanyeol would have some kind of clue of why Sehun had been feeling like that during such a moment.

Punching the bag did nothing to help it close so Sehun opted for the old and gold sitting-on-the-lid technique. Hopefully that would work. He really didn’t want to take any more stuff out of it than he already had.

~ * ~

If science ever come so far as to figure out how to switch brains between people Kyungsoo wanted to be first on the waiting list. He knew that he should consider himself lucky, the majority of days he felt completely normal. He could hug Jongin, smile at Luhan, talk about random with Yixing, and everything would be fine. He could feel happy. He still had two sets of memories but he had learned how to separate them and since Jongin still hadn’t gotten his old ones back he at least didn’t have to deal with two boyfriends in one body. Although old Kai and new Jongin was the same person with the same personality the circumstances in which they had been together had been vastly different. On their homeplanet, Elthea, there hadn’t exactly been much time for romance since they had been under constant threat because of them being forced since birth to protect the planet’s life force from potential dangers. On Earth the only dangers they had to live with was being hunted by maniacs who either wanted to kill them or experiment on them. Kyungsoo thought that maybe that actually was worse.

He knew that he was lucky and should be happy about the fact that he had come so far in recovering from his days living as a lab rat. Most of the days everything was normal. But the days that weren’t… Kyungsoo wasn’t capable to do anything. He couldn’t even look at his friends without hurting. He couldn’t help the flashbacks to the deaths he’d been forced to watch every day and the feelings they brought with them. It was as if someone had sewn multiply strings to his ribcage and two people were now fighting over whether they should increase or decrease his chest size. There was pressure both from the outside and the inside making Kyungsoo unsure of what he wanted the most, to hug himself close or to escape his own body and skin. There were also the headaches. The person who had sewn strings into his ribcage apparently also had a fascination with Kyungsoo’s brain as it felt like someone was drilling into his skull from all sides. The pain made it impossible to even think, much less talk or act.

During those days there were only two things Kyungsoo could do. Either he stayed alone in his bedroom, avoiding everyone, shaking under his covers trying to make everything stop. Or he stayed in Chanyeol’s room where the other could keep him company, play him music and help him when he couldn’t breathe. Before Sehun and Baekhyun had joined them Chanyeol was the only one that hadn’t been used as a torture device on Kyungsoo and was therefore also the only one who could touch Kyungsoo without sending him into a full scale panic attack. He knew that it hurt Jongin whenever he avoided him and he hated himself for that but before he got better there was nothing he could do. He needed to get better. For Jongin.

Which is why he was going with Chanyeol and Baekhyun to Germany. He had spoken to Luhan immediately after the decision had been made to split the group into two to more effectively search for people. Luhan had been surprised by his request to change the groups but at his explanation Luhan had agreed that maybe it was for the best. It was for the best, Kyungsoo knew so, but it still felt wrong. He’d been by Jongin’s side since that fateful day when the younger had saved him from a certain death caused by gravity with a bit of help from a quite vicious creature similar to what humans call a banshee. Ever since then they’d stayed together but now Kyungsoo had willingly decided to jump on a different plane than his boyfriend to be away from each other for God knows how long. Kyungsoo tried to console himself with the fact that Jongin could teleport and if he continued to strengthen his powers they should be able to meet up without any problems in the near future. This is what he said to Jongin too when he told him about his decision to go with Chanyeol and Baekhyun to Germany instead of with him to Russia. He also promised that when he had managed to get a bit better he would reunite with Jongin immediately. And hopefully that wouldn’t  take too long.

With one final kiss and ‘I love you’ he finally had to leave Jongin to board his plane together with Sehun, Luhan and Yixing. Kyungsoo waited until Jongin had disappeared behind the doors to turn around and walk towards where Chanyeol and Baekhyun were waiting for him. Chanyeol gave him a hug and then they started the walk towards their gate. He didn’t cry, and he wouldn’t in the future either.

AN:

You'd think my english would've gotten better after five months in New York but... well... I guess not ahaha. 

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever finish this story considering how slow I am with writing it........... I really want to do it since I know what I want to happen and everything but I'm just soooo slow, both with writing and also just with progressing the story. Like I'm 21 "chapters" in and I've only introduced like 7 members! Eurgh.... Oh well that's my own fault ahaha. Whenever I actually post something I'm like 'Yeah! Let's write more regularly! Awesome!' and then it takes me like at least 6 months before the next chapter is up sorry!! 

But eeeey, splitting up the group. Stuff is happening woop woop! (a cat is screaming outside my window? do you think I can accidentally adopt it and somehow smuggle it inside the apartment without my roommates noticing? it obviously want cuddles and food?)

Thank you so so much for reading and/or commenting!!!! Thank you thank you thank you <3