All the dark that surrounded him. Blocked all the light that came through.

No one there for him. No one could save him.

What should he do?

Yesung woke up with all sweats covered his body.

“Hyung? What’s wrong?”

Yesung body stiffened when he heard the voice next to him, but relaxed in second as he recognized the voice as Yunho’s.

Yesung wiped the sweats on his forehead and took a deep breath.

Yunho stood up from the couch where they cuddled all night and kneeled before Yesung.

“Hyung? What’s going on?” Yunho asked worriedly.

Yesung shook his head, “Nothing. I’m okay. It’s just a nightmare.”

Yunho studied his face carefully but then nodded.

He cupped Yesung’s face and kissed him gently.

Yesung, that felt a pair of soft lips on his, closed his eyes immediately.

Their lips moved in harmony, and for a while, they forget all the thing around them. Forget all the tiredness of the packed schedule that they had.

They parted for the air and leaned their forehead into each other’s. Tried to catch their breath.

“Everything would be okay, Hyung,” Yunho said.

And Yesung nodded. He smiled sweetly to his younger boyfriend.

Yesung checked his cellphone, it was 2 a.m., “I think I should back to the dorm.”

Yunho pouted slightly, “But I still missed you, Hyung. It’s been two weeks since we last met.”

Yesung smiled, “I know. But we have things that we have to do, Yunho. Be patient, okay. I’ll meet you as soon as possible.”

Yunho sighed, but then nodded, “Ne, Hyung.”

Yesung stood up and walked toward the door. Yunho followed after him.

Before he left the door, he turned around and gave Yunho a chaste kiss.

“Bye, Yunnie. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Hyung,” Yunho answered.

On the way back to Suju’s dorm, Yesung couldn’t ease the feeling that caused by his nightmare before from his heart.

He hated the cold feeling that wrapped his heart when he recalled his dream. The darkness. He hated it. He liked the bright place. Not place without light as in his dream.

He hated the loneliness feeling as in his dream. He didn’t want to be alone. He liked company.

He arrived and tried to compose himself. ‘Everything would be alright, as Yunho said’, he told himself.

He opened the door of the dorm and soon walked toward his room. As he changed his clothes, Ryeowook woke up.

“Hyung? When did you get back?” Ryeowook asked.

“I just arrived, Wookie,” Yesung answered, as he buttoned his pajama.

“Ah, have you meet Yunho-Hyung, then?”

“Yeah, we got a dinner last night,” he told Ryeowook.

Then he turned to face the younger, “Is Leeteuk-Hyung asked where I’m going?”

Through the darkness of the room, Yesung could see Ryeowook nodded.

“What did you tell him?”

“I told him that you go to your parent’s house, Hyung.”

Yesung sighed and nodded, “Thanks Wookie.”

“It’s small matter, Hyung. But, are you serious that you won’t tell the others about your relationship with Yunho-Hyung?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, Wookie. It’s would be better if we keep it as  secret.”

“I understand, Hyung, I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Thanks, Wookie.”

The silence filled the air then as Ryeowook back to sleep.

Yesung turned his body aside and reached his phone. He searched through the folder and stopped when he found the picture that he wanted.

In the picture were him and Yunho, they make a v-sign and smiled to the camera.

A smiled made its way to his face when Yesung saw how Yunho wrapped his arm possessively around his shoulder.

He decided to kept his relationship as a secret from the beginning. He told Yunho, and the younger agreed. He didn’t want too many people knew about him and Yunho.

He loved how they sneaked out to meet on the middle of the nights. How they would steal a kiss or two when no one saw. How they would exchanged the meaningful smiles when they met on the company building.

He just told Ryeowook because the younger accidentally entered the changing room where he and Yunho were kissing.

But he was glad that Ryeowook understand and promised to keep it as a secret.

So, everything was going okay until now.

But recently, Yesung couldn’t ease the weight feeling on his heart. It’s started when Yunho left him to promote their new album on Japan.

He hated the fact that he had to be separated with the younger. He was glad that they got a succed on their promotion. But he hated the fact when he watched the videos about DBSK when they on Japan, there some womans flirted with Yunho.

And although he realized how the younger loved him, his worries didn’t go away. Then he started got the constant nightmares. Where he always left alone in his dream, surrounded by the darkness and how he called Yunho continuously, but no one answered him.

The dream always left him with a burden on his heart. Weighed against his mind.

Yesung looked the picture carefully. Memorized Yunho’s smile and hoped it would help him forget his nightmare.

***

They were in the same music program, waited for their turns of perfomance.

“Hyung, I need to go to rest room,” Yesung said to Leeteuk.

“Okay, but don’t take too long, okay?” Leeteuk answered.

“Ne, Hyung.”

So Yesung left. He walked through the corridor. Looked for the DBSK’s changing room.

As he passed the door, a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside the room.

Yesung struggled but then relaxed as Yunho’s face came into his sight.

Yunho hugged him tightly, “I miss you, Hyung.”

Yesung hugged back and said,”I miss you, too, Yunnie.”

They parted slightly to get better position as they pulled each other’s face closer.

When their lips met, the thought that came to their mind was just how to make it last longer.

They exchanged all of their feeling through the kisses. Yearning, love, worries, want, everything.

When they parted, all they could feel was a happiness.

And they treasured that feeling so much.

They leaned forward for another kiss when Yesung’s phone rang.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Yesung! Where are you? It’s about our turn,” Leeteuk voice was heard from the other line.

“I’m on my way, Hyung,” Yesung said.

“Hurry up! I want you here in a minute.”

“Ne, Hyung.”

Yesung sighed as he hung up. he looked at the younger and Yunho nodded.

Yesung smiled gratefully and kissed Yunho briefly. Then he run toward his changing room, left Yunho alone.

He arrived within a minute, got a slight glare from Leeteuk. He smiled apologetically.

They performed the best they could, gained all the cheers from the audiences.

They laughed contentedly as they finished. They passed the backstage, and for seconds, Yesung froze.

Yunho was there, surrounded by the members of one of girlsband. The girls all flirty and touchy to Yunho and Changmin.

The worries and insecure feeling that filled his heart came out. They blinded Yesung’s eyes that he couldn’t see how Yunho rejected all the girl’s touches. How Yunho moved slightly backward with an apologetical smile.

Yesung couldn’t see those little things. So he left.

***

“Hyung, where are you? I want to meet you?”

“Hyung, I miss you. Please, I need to meet you?”

“Yesungie-Hyung, what’s going on? Why don’t you answer my calls?”

“Hyung, please answer my call...”

“Hyung, I don’t know what happen. But stop this, Hyung. It’s hurts me that you ignored me when I don’t even know what’s my fault.”

“Hyung?”

Yesung listened all the messages from Yunho. It hurted him more with every message that he received.

The tears formed as he heard Yunho pleaded like that.

He realized that he has hurted the younger.

But he could do nothing.

He finally understand what the meaning of his dream.

The dream mirrored all his worries and insecurity. Yeah, he loved the younger so much. And he knew that Yunho loved him as well.

But there was a little doubt in his heart. That grew larger everyday that passed.

The doubt finally reached a point where he deny the love that the younger gave to him.

“Hyung?” Ryeowook called him hesitantly.

All the members except Ryeowook and Yesung had gone for their schedules.

“Yesung-Hyung, there’s someone that want to meet you.”

“Who?” Yesung asked. His eyes widened as Yunho came to his sight.

“I need to go to meet my friend. So I’ll leave you two alone,” Ryeowook said as he left them.

Yesung stood up as Yunho approached him.

“Hyung,” the younger called him with the most desperate voice, “What’s happen? Why do you avoid me?”

Yesung moved backward slightly.

“Yesungie-Hyung, please don’t be like this. I need an explanation, Hyung.”

“Yunho..”

As Yesung said his name, Yunho pulled Yesung into tight embrace.

And Yesung was startled when he felt Yunho’s body shaking slightly.

When he felt a wetness in his shoulder, Yesung realized that Yunho was crying.

“Yunnie? Don’t cry, please..”

“It’s hurt, Hyung. It’s hurt that you ignored me these days. I’m sorry if I make some mistakes to you. But please, don’t ignore me.”

“No, it’s not your fault, Yunho. Please, stop crying.”

“Then whose fault is it, Hyung? If it’s not mine, why do you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry. really sorry. It’s my fault, Yunnie.”

“What do you mean, Hyung?” Yunho leaned backward and looked at Yesung carefully.

“I’m afraid, Yunho. I’m afraid that you would leave me. That’s why I avoid you. Because I don’t want when we once meet, you would tell me that you have to leave me.”

“What? How can you think like that?”

“I don’t know, honestly, Yunho. I just feel so worried and insecure. Everytime I look at you and the girls that flirt to you, I can’t prevent myself to be worried and insecured.”

“Hyung, why don’t you tell me before?”

“I..”

“Do you doubt me? Do you doubt my love for you, Hyung?”

“Yunho..”

“Look at me, Hyung. Can’t you see that all I can see is just you? Can’t you see all the love that I have is just for you?”

There was a silence for a while before Yesung answered.

“I can see that.”

“Then why do you doubt me?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just realize how stupid I am.”

“Hyung, don’t ever doubt my feeling for you again. Arasso?”

Yesung nodded, “Arasso.”

Then Yunho smiled and pulled him closer, kissed him gently.

Through the kisses, they exchanged a promise to keep their feeling for each other forever. To keep the faith for each other.