“Where have you been this whole week?” I asked as Yongguk slumped on my couch as soon as he came inside my house. “Mom, Yongguk’s here.” 

Yongguk looked up at me with a content smile before turning to mom who had just emerged from the kitchen. Her hair was in a messy bun, an apron around her waist. 

“Hey dear.” my mom smiled, approaching him. “Haven’t seen you around in awhile.”

“I’ve been busy, aunty.” Yongguk smiled. 

“With his girlfriend.” I cough. “Always with Kimhan these days.” 

My mom gave a laugh, shaking her head at how we were always bickering when we were together. She went behind Yongguk on the couch and patted his shoulder with both her hands. Yongguk was like my mom’s son and I was like his mom’s daughter. We were very close. 

“What about you and Siwon? You guys are always-“

I choked on my saliva and coughed violently as he brought up the subject of boys right in front of my mom. I continued my coughing fit, before shooting him a nasty glare. My mom was staring at me with a pointed stare, like silently asking about what Yongguk had just said. 

“Yongguk’s just being stupid, mom.” I cleared my throat. “Weren’t you, Yongguk?”  

Yongguk bit back a laugh and nodded. My mom knew the day was bound to come sooner or later, but she had always warned me about studying instead of boys. 

“Now, I’m going to let that slide,” my mom said. “But you have less than two months until you graduate high school and I don’t want you stuffing up because of some boy that stirred your world up.” 

“Mom, but Yongguk has a girlfriend!” I tried to reason. 

“Oppa is older than you.” mom snapped. “He’s already graduated.” 

“Fine.” I pouted in defeat. 

Mom patted Yongguk’s shoulder one more time, before turning to me and raised her eyebrows playfully. I couldn’t help but chuckled at her cuteness. She then disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving us alone in the lounge room. I come and sit next to him on the couch looking at him. 

“What?” he asked, sitting up straight. 

“But seriously, where have you been all week?” I asked, taking his phone from his hand and unlocking it without trouble, keying in his passcode as if it was my own.    

“I’ve been out with Kimhan nearly everyday.” Yongguk said sheepishly. “Amazing dates, though.” 

I was only partially listening because I was too busy taking selfies on Yongguk’s phone, treating it like my own. Ever since Yongguk and his high school sweetheart Kimhan have graduated, they went out together nearly everyday while I had to stay home and study for my finals. Although Yongguk and I lived next door, I wasn’t able to see him often. 

“Great to know.” I sighed. “You two go out while I sit at home and study.” 

“Only a little more, oh young one.” Yongguk laughed, patting my head. “How are you and Siwon?” 

My eyes widened and I looked around the lounge room, in case my mom was around. Yongguk caught on and clasp a hand over his mouth, like he had just spilt my life long secret. 

“We’re going out next Saturday.” I smiled, thinking about Siwon. “He’s so cute. But he’s been like making me kind of uncomfortable, recently.” 

Yongguk straightened up, leaning closer to me, interested in the matter. 

“Why?” he lowered his voice. 

“He’s been thinking about like…” I bit my lip. “That.” 

Yongguk looked at me confused, having no clue about what I was talking about. 

“That.” I whispered. “You know. Doing IT.” 

“Oh, .” he said in realization. 

I hushed him angrily and looked around, in case my mom walked in on us. Mom and I were close but we’ve never had ‘The Talk’ and I’ve never talked to her about subject like boys and relationships. Yongguk laughed and clutched his stomach from too much laughter. I furrowed my eyebrows, angry that a serious matter like that was such a joke for him. 

“What? Like you’ve done it before?” I said angrily. 

Yongguk raised his eyebrow. “Do you really want me to answer that one?” 

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. I was so lost at what I was meant to do. Siwon was a really cute guy and I really liked him, but I wasn’t too ready to go that far with him yet. Besides, we had only been dating for five months. I sighed when I felt Yongguk slip an arm around my shoulder and brought me closer to him. 

“Tell him to go fu-“

“Oi, no swearing.” I said. 

“Just tell him you’re not ready.” he sighed. “If he still insists then tell me, I’m gonna go beat his . Who does he think he is, forcing my little girl?”

I nodded and pulled away from Yongguk, I then turned around so my back was facing him. Yongguk chuckled lowly behind me, knowing what I wanted and placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging them. I sighed contently and missed all our moments. I missed my best friend. 

Suddenly, Yongguk’s phone rang, making him immediately pull away from me and diving straight for his ringing phone. I sighed at the familiar ringtone and waited for him to pick up the phone. 

“Hey babe.” he smiled. “No, not doing anything. Okay, I’ll be there to pick you up in fifteen minutes. Yeah, okay. See you, babe.” 

He hung up his phone and shoved it into his pocket. He stood up from the couch and looked at me.

“I gotta go.” he said. “Kimhan’s waiting for me. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” 

“I thought today was our day.”  I sighed. “Don’t worry, go ahead.”

Yongguk sighed and made me look at him, trying to apologize silently. 

“Next time.” he said. “I promise we’ll have a whole day to ourselves next time.” 

I nodded and hugged him quickly, before turning around and walking up stairs, leaving him to stand there himself. I had to tell him somehow that I missed him and that I wanted to spend some time with him. I felt like this girl was taking my best friend away from me. 

Coming into my room, I collapsed onto my bed, sighing. 

“Bye aunty.” I heard him call from downstairs. 

_______________

“I-I don’t understand.” I said softly over the phone. 

“You’re just not fun anymore.” Siwon sighed. “You’re too uptight and never do anything fun. You’re too boring for me, now.”

“Siwon-“ I said. 

“Let’s just end it here.” he said and hung up the phone. 

I held the phone against my ear and heard the line go flat. I knew better than to call him back and make a fool of myself. I didn’t want him to think that he was worth my time. But truly, a guy like that wasn’t worth anyone’s time. But I found myself tearing over him. I felt my heart constrict painfully as I felt stupid and worthless. The first boyfriend I ever had, turned out to be a stupid, arrogant . 

I wiped my tears and checked the clock. It was only about eight in the evening. I wiped my tears for the time being and walking downstairs. My mom was at the back, watching TV, so I took that advantage. 

“I’m going to Yonggk’s, mom.” I tried keeping my voice clear. “He called me over.” 

“Okay. Are you having dinner there?” mom called back. 

“Uh, yep!” I said as I opened the door. “See you later, mom.”

I stepped out of the house and let out a breath. Within the short while that I was walking to Yongguk’s house, I told myself that I’d be composed and I wouldn’t cry over at guy like Siwon. But as I approached Yongguk’s house, I found my lips quivering. Not from the cold but from trying so hard to hold back my tears. 

I knocked on the door and short moments later, Yongguk opened the door. He stood there smiling at me, until he finally realized my red eyes and red face. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

All my efforts of keeping my tears away failed and I found myself running into Yongguk’s arms and sobbing silently into his chest. Yongguk didn’t ask any questions and lead me into his room, sitting me down and just letting me cry. He let my lean on him and cry without having to explain anything. Not until I was ready.

_______________

“ing bastard.” Yongguk spat, standing up from his bed after I had told him about what happened. “Give me his number right now. I swear I’m going to ing-“ 

“Stop swearing, Yongguk.” I said quietly, cringing at my nasally voice. “He’s not worth it.” 

Yongguk sighed and settled back down on his bed next to me. I brought an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest. I was somewhat comforted with his warmth.

“Exactly. He isn’t worth it.” Yongguk whispered. “So please stop crying over an like him. You deserve so much better.” 

I leaned closer to his chest and brought my arms around his waist, hugging him. 

“Thank you.” I said. 

We were still best friends. Like the eight and ten year olds, but older. We were the seventeen and nineteen year olds, still supporting each other, just in different circumstances. First it was my fall and then it was my break up. Yongguk was always there for me and I could always guarantee that he’d still be there for many more hardships.