One out of Two | Chapter Two 

“Hyung…do you really think that Kai and Jongin are different?” Kai asked his manager, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Hana said yesterday. He sat up in his bed and nudged the manager.

“Kai just watch, they’re next.” The manager eyed the television. “Ah there they are.”

Kai sighed and sat back, he watched as s introduced themselves without him. They bowed in advance and even made a note that he wasn’t here because he had the flu.

“The flu?” Kai asked. “You told them I had the flu?”

Manager Kim nodded. “I don’t want anything that will affect your image, your fans think highly of you.” He reminded him.

Kai looked away. “I practiced so hard for nothing.”

“Jongin-ah, seriously, result to something else when you’re having a hard time. Don’t just always dance, you always end up at the hospital when you do…why don’t you just tell us about it? About what’s going on?” The manager said. “We’re all here for you.”

He shook his head. “I’m fine, none of you would understand anyway.”

Then the doctor came in, and this time it wasn’t Hana. Kai sat up and paused when he read the nametag. Zhang Yixing. Kai looked up to see a young man with his dark hair pushed back.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Zhang…I’ll be checking up on you.” He said before taking the clipboard.

“Where’s Hana?” Kai asked.

“Who?”

“Dr. Jung.”

Dr. Zhang chuckled. “Ah, her, she’s off today.” He said. “She will be back tomorrow but you’re getting discharged tonight anyway. You seem to be getting better; did you have any panic attacks last night?”

Kai shook his head.

“That’s great, your pulse is normal but you are a bit on the underweight category, just by a few pounds.” He said.

Manager Kim looked up. “Ah, he’s been training and dancing for weeks so that’s why.”

Dr. Zhang put the clipboard under his arm and explained to Kai how important it was to eat. “You must eat, at this rate you are burning more calories than you have and that’s bad for you if you over do it. I’ll have Nurse Min bring in some food for you after this. Ah, and I’d like it if you brought him outside for some fresh air.”

Manager Kim nodded. “Alright, thank you.”

“Thank you.” Kai whispered.

Dr. Zhang glanced at the clipboard one more time. “Dr. Jung says that she recommends a psychiatrist, would you like to meet one?”

Kai shook his head.

Dr. Zhang pressed his lips into a thin line before nodding. “Alright, but if your condition gets worst it will be mandatory for you to meet one.”

Manager Kim nodded his head. “Of course.”  

Kai nudged him once again when Dr. Zhang left the room. “Hyung…can you answer my question?”

“What is it?”

“Hana said that Kai and Jongin are two different people, is that true?” He asked.

Manager Kim raised an eyebrow. “Do you mean Dr. Jung? Are you guys close enough for you to address her by her first name?” He asked.

Kai sighed. “She was in my room yesterday, and I woke up when she was writing down my vitals or whatever…and she kept on calling me Jongin.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“She said Kai and Jongin are two different people…” Kai said. “She said Jongin was a mere human while Kai was the man on stage, something like that.”

Manager Kim flipped through the channels and sighed when reruns of a music show played. “Well, Kai is the image you have to put up…look how fierce you look up there…your fans think you’re always like that when in real life, you’re broken.” He said. Then he stood up. “I’m gonna go and see how the boys are doing, you stay put and wait for Nurse Min alright?”

Kai stared blankly into space as he nodded with a stoic expression. “Broken?” He mumbled. “I’m …not broken.” He said to himself reluctantly, no matter how much he tried to deny it, a voice in the back of his head told him it was probably true.  

He slept for a few more hours and ate a little, only because his manager kept on telling him to.

Manager Kim insisted that he got something into his system. “You can’t keep on rejecting! I know you don’t have any appeitite but man, you might collapse again.” He pleaded. “Remember last time? When you collapsed on stage? And we had to tell the fans it was from lack of sleep?”

Kai stood up and changed into his normal clothing. He was quite disappointed that it was Dr. Zhang who discharged him, and not Hana.

He walked quickly to the van with his manager next to him and got in. On the car ride home, he kept on looking out the window and Manager Kim noticed.

“I got your phone, why do you keep looking back? The fans might see.” He said.

Kai shrugged. “I just…I wanted to see Hana.”

“Didn’t you hear Dr. Zhang? She’s off today.”

Kai nodded. “I know.”

Manager Kim lead him into the practice room just to have all of s jump him.

“Hyung!” Sehun grabbed him into a hug, the maknae even wrapped his legs around the older’s waist. “Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose. “Jeez, you only show your love when he gets hurt.” He said as he shook his head.

Suho chuckled. “All that matters is that Jongin is back in one piece, we should lay off the practice shall we? Hyung, can we do that?” The leader looked at the manager. “Please?”

Manager Kim gave in as he rolled his eyes. “Oh alright, I suppose.”

Chanyeol stood up. “Wanna go to Baekhyun’s house? Grandma Byun heard and now she insists on making a big old dinner with healthy stuff, you know how much I love Grandma Byun’s cooking. Kai do you want to go? It’s for you anyway; she called when she didn’t see you on TV.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Yeah my grandma saw, we can all go tonight!”

Kai nodded. “Sure.” He said softly. “And can Sehun get off me please?”

Sehun jumped off. “Aw why are you so pale? You look so skinny too.” The younger frowned. “I thought you were eating!”

Kai nodded. “Don’t worry I am.”

“That suit made you look so healthy and now that it’s off you’re all skin and bones!” Sehun exclaimed.

Suho patted his shoulder. “Sehun-ah, it’ll all come back when we finish promotions, and for the SBS music program they said it would be find if you don’t make it again because of the prerecording but for the other programs, you’re going to have to be there no matter what.” He said. “Alright?”

Kai nodded. “Alright.”

On the car ride there, Kai sat by the window again. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were next to him playing head to head in ‘2048’, Chanyeol had claimed that he would get the ‘2048’ tile first while Baekhyun said it was bull and that the game was impossible to beat. At times like this, Kai wished he had his headphones; the one time he forgot to bring them and he had a raging headache.

Then there was Kyungsoo sitting in the passenger seat who had his eyes glued to the screen of his iPad, he was watching reruns of his drama and every few minutes he would hold it up. “Was this scene good? Did it make you cry?”

You had Suho in the middle row with Sehun, the maknae had passed out on the leader’s lap; poor thing had no sleep for a week. Would that explain his sudden incentive to care for his hyungs?

Kai sighed and laid his head against the window; he looked out into the highway and thought about the hospital visit.

Would I ever see her again? He thought. Jung Hana. 

[a/n] Oh Jongin, patience buddy...patience. 

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