One out of Two | Chapter Five

Hana stood up from her seat and ran her fingers through her hair. “Did I just say that?” She whispered to herself in disbelief. She walked towards the door in silence and slipped out.

She sat in the living room and flipped through her patient’s profiles. Hours passed, and she only moved when she felt her phone vibrate beside her.

Hana flinched when her phone suddenly went off; she picked it up immediately and silenced it hoping Jongin wasn’t a light sleeper. Then she read the text from her mother.

Mom (6:17 pm): Hana, the time when you will meet your future fiancé is nearing and your father and I feel it’s appropriate to tell you at least his name. His name is Lu Han and his parents own a medical school in China, but he will be flying here just to meet you!

She sighed as she read the text, Hana pushed her phone away. She didn’t want to meet Luhan, she didn’t want to marry a man she didn’t know and most importantly, she didn’t want to marry a man for money.

Hana stood up and walked around the house. She furrowed her brows and paced back and forth, she wondered how she was going to break it to her mother that she didn’t want to meet Luhan. She wondered what her father would say; Hana had obeyed each and every one of her parent’s wishes up until now.

Hana didn’t want to admit this, but it was true that the only reason why she became a doctor was to fulfill her parent’s dreams, her father suffered from depression and she felt that she could psychologically make it up to him by becoming a doctor, and it made him happy too.

She sighed and leaned her back against Jongin’s door. “…Luhan.” Hana said softly.

Then the door opened and she fell back into Jongin’s strong arms.

“Hana…” Jongin held her so she wouldn’t fall. “You okay?”

Hana stood up and turned around, her face flushed pink with embarrassment. “You’re awake…”

“Who’s Luhan?” Jongin asked.

She reached to touch his forehead. “No one.”

He stared at her, unconvinced. “Hana…”

“Dr. Jung.” She said softly. “Does anything hurt?”

“Hana…”

She looked up just to have his hands push her messy bangs out of her face. “I’m okay.” Jongin said. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

Jongin sat her down by the counter. “You should eat something before you go, I never see you eat.” He said as he reached for a pot in the cabinet.

“Jongin…”

He looked at her. “Don’t…” Then he turned his attention back to the pot. “I know us idols work crazy hours but so do doctors, I heard you guys get little to no sleep everyday…that’s bad for you.”

Hana scoffed. “Look who’s talking.”

Jongin eyed her a few times. “Smile more.” He said. “It’s pretty.”

Hana flushed pink in embarrassment again. “It’s not like I have a reason to.”

Jongin cleared his throat; he could feel his ears getting hot. “I’m making kimchi stew.” He said. “It’s the only thing I know how to make…besides ramen.”

“Who taught you?” Hana asked. “My parents taught me how to cook.”

“Kyungsoo-hyung, my parents never really acknowledged me as their son after I started training at the company.” Jongin said. “But it’s okay.”

“You know very well that it’s not.” Hana said. She glanced at Jongin before looking away, she thought about what he said earlier about leaving him if he ever fell in love with her.

She too was scared as well; love is a scary thing, especially if you never got the chance to experience it. Being alone with Jongin was weird, she couldn’t describe the feelings she got.

She thought about Luhan for a split second, a man she didn’t know. She didn’t know what he looked like, what his personality was like and who he was as a person and as cliché as it might sound; Hana wanted to fall in love on her own.

Yes she wondered what it was like to hold hands with the person she liked, she wondered what it was like to be kissed, to be hugged, and she wondered what it was like to be important to someone.

She could get all of that if she married Luhan, but then again, a part of her would always scream that it was arranged and that Luhan would have no choice but to love her.

Hana wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with her, someone who was afraid of losing her, someone who would wake her up at three in the morning to say ‘I love you’  because they couldn’t hold it in.

Someone who would call her in the middle of the day to see how she was doing and maybe even tell her she looked beautiful that day. Someone who would show up at four in the morning if she needed a hug, someone who would make her soup on her sick days or someone who would sing for her to cheer her up even if they weren’t that good at it.

Hana picked up her phone and reluctantly called her mother.

Jongin looked at her, he could see the uneasy look on her face, and she even looked a bit scared. He wondered if everything was okay.

“Mom?"

Jongin could hear her mother in the background even if she got up and walked to his room.

“Yes Hana? Did you get my message? About Luhan? He’s a great guy!”

Hana sighed. “Mom listen…about Luhan…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to marry him.” She said.

“What? Why not? Honey, he’s a wonderful man and all…”

“Mom, what if his parents didn’t own a medical school, would you still want me to marry him?” Hana asked.

She could feel her mother’s frown through the phone. “If you dislike that we can find someone else…”

“Mom, you don’t understand…I don’t want to marry a man I don’t know. Love is about finding someone on your own, I’m sorry but I don’t believe in arranged marriages and if it hurts you to know that this is the first time your daughter will reject your request…I’m sorry. I won’t be home for a few days, the hospital needs me.” Hana said. “Bye.”

Jongin stood there and stirred the stew around. For some reason, even if he didn’t know who the guy was…a part of him was happy that she refused to marry him.