One out of Two | Chapter Eleven

“I like you.”  Jongin turned away nervously and closed his eyes. He mentally kicked himself. What the hell did I just do?! He asked himself.  

He turned around to see Hana with a smile on her face. There was a flush of color on her cheeks and some emotion, something you rarely see Hana wear.

Jongin held his arms out. “Hug me.” He said. Then he shook his arms impatiently. “Hurry!”

Hana laughed and reached for his arms. She felt safe in his arms and for some reason, those words he just said to her made her feel as if a burden was lifted off her shoulder because everything he just said was something she needed to hear.

“I wish I heard all of that a couple years ago, when I was at my worst.” She mumbled.

Jongin hugged her tighter. “I wish I knew you back then.”

“Remember when you had to go to the hospital? It wasn’t the first time we’ve met.”

Jongin pulled back and looked at her. “Hm?”

“We first met four years ago; during…I believe it was your second year as an idol.” Hana said. “I was questioning it the whole time but now, I’m sure it was you.”

“When…”

“You collapsed at your show case, for your second album.” Hana whispered. “I was a intern then…and I was supposed to put a IV drip in my patient. But my colleague had done it for me so I went off to see how the other patients were doing. Then I saw you…”

Jongin tilted his head and stared as her as she explained. “What’d you do for me?” He asked.

“I checked your temperature and your vitals…and wrote out your progress report saying you were dehydrated and had a fever.” Hana remembered. “You spoke to me then…”

Jongin raised an eyebrow. “Really? What’d I say?”

“I thought it was because they drugged you so you’d sleep…but thinking about it now, I think you were heartbroken.” Hana said. “You were mumbling in your sleep about how you didn’t believe in love…and that the worst thing that could happen to you was no losing a family member, or getting a terminal illness, or watching someone die…you said the worst thing that could ever happen to you was…a broken heart.”

Jongin listened and nodded. “I think I remember…”

“I was adjusting your IV drip when you held my hand.” Hana said softly. “You said you never wanted to love someone again if you were going to end up hurt at the end, you were scared because you’ve been hurt before.”

He nodded and grabbed his arms around her, leaning his head against her shoulder; he frowned as he looked in the mirror. “There was a time in my life when everything was dark, and it was during that year…because all of our songs in our new album were about love. And I had to write the songs with my members, the producers said to think about our first love and our ex-girlfriends if we had any. And at the time, I was the only one who experienced heart break…and all the songs we wrote reminded me of …Ari.”  

“Are you scared? Still?”

“less.” Jongin whispered. “I’m afraid of …love.” He mumbled. “Someone once told me it was true that someone could die from a broken heart…and I thought it’d happen to me.”

“You really loved Ari didn’t you?”

Jongin sighed. “That was the past, it took me years to realize that the only reason why I couldn’t let go of her was because she was my first love. Every says you can’t forget your first love and it’s true, that person gave you a firsthand experience of what loving someone was like and you get the impression that everyone else after that person will be the same. I’ve been asked out a few times by some of the trainees here and even a few other idols…and I’ve rejected them all because I was so scared they would become a new Ari to me…and what did Ari to me? She broke me into pieces…shattered my heart…whatever you want to call it. She hurt me so bad up to a point it took me years to piece myself back together.”

Hana nodded. “What took so long?”

“I think it’s because I was surround by people who were always so happy, they never understood me and for a long time I had to fake a smile. Hana…it was you who fixed me… I didn’t think I’d meet someone who was depressed too. Many people say they’re depressed but they’re not, they’re just having a bad day or in a situation when nothing is going their way. But you were different, when I saw you at the hospital…after you hugged me you pulled away and I saw how sad you were. I realized that you were like me…and that’s when I stopped caring about myself. I suddenly let go of Ari, I stopped thinking about her…you were all that’s on my mind. Because we’re alike, I felt like I found the missing piece to a puzzle because I found someone who might understand me.”

“Why didn’t you…talk to your family about it?”

“My family…we don’t get along. Everyone’s a doctor, and then there’s me.” Jongin sighed. “Even if I’m famous, my father’s not satisfied because what I’m famous for is not what he had in mind. I was never supposed to like dance.” He mumbled. “I was supposed to , but I accidently didn’t and it became my new hobby.” He sighed. “Being in the medical field stopped appealing to me when I found the music industry.”

Hana nodded. “Don’t listen to your parents, what you do as a career is yours. Do what makes you happy, not what satisfies others. You love your job…don’t you ever leave it.”

Jongin looked at her. “Have you ever considered quitting as a doctor?”

“It’s too late now.” She mumbled. “I can’t throw away all of this knowledge…I’m getting my PhD next year, I might as well stick with it. When the time comes, I’ll get used to it…”

“I wish you realized how good of a doctor you are.” Jongin mumbled. “But only time will tell.”

Hana turned to him. “I really wish we met earlier…when we needed each other the most.”

Jongin chuckled. “Well we’re here and we made it. That’s all that really matters, right?”

“Right.”

“Hana…Hana Jung.”

“Jongin…Kim Jongin.”

Jongin smiled and looked at her. “Can I…suggest something?”

“And that is?”

“Well, it’s something that’s….beneficial for the both of us.”

Hana laughed. “What are you talking about?”

“Let’s date.”  

[a/n]: That's a very good suggestion, Jongin.