One out of Two | Chapter Three

Kai didn’t believe in love, it was true, he thought it was all bull. Ironic isn’t it? He’s in a group that sings about love and he doesn’t believe in it.

He strolled down the street and stared ahead of him. After having dinner at Baekhyun’s grandma’s house, he asked for time alone, he wanted to be by himself for a while.

He remembered the time he stopped believing in it. Kai was only seventeen; he remembered how his girlfriend approached him at the time and said they should take a break.

He remembered sitting in the practice room exhausted after dancing so hard, he prepared for weeks so he could shoot his teasers. He was days away from being exposed to the world and his girlfriend, who too had been a trainee, who had been cheering him on all these years suddenly wanted a break. It was as if his happiness got ripped away from him.

He thought about the amount of hours he cried after that, and the amount of time he spent dancing the pain away even if it did nothing to help.

From that day on, Kai was afraid of falling in love. He didn’t want to look at another girl then feel his heart flutter just to have flashbacks of him and his ex-girlfriend.

He rejected all the ‘We Got Married’ opportunities and turned down any role in a drama that had to do with love, he stayed away from the special stages and ran away from girls the moment his heart skipped a beat.

He didn’t understand why his ex-girlfriend broke up with him either, they were happy, in love and enjoyed what they were working for.

Her name was Ari, Kai remembered what his fellow friends said to him weeks before they started going out.

They said she had a rotten personality and it was such a shame because her beautiful name didn’t fit her. Kai didn’t believe them; he felt that it was unfair to say such things about a person when you didn’t know what they were truly like.

They were only fifteen when they went on their first date, they were each other’s first love and since it was his first time liking someone, it hurt even more when Ari ended things.

When Kai turned eighteen, the company threw him a birthday party after his first teaser finally came out. But he wasn’t happy; he disappeared in the middle of the party and excused himself saying he didn’t want to ruin the mood with his sadness.

He had to look like he wanted to be there on his debut stage, Kai remembered the pep talk his manager had given him.

“Be fierce! Powerful! I want your dance moves to be sharp and clean, and your rap, you’ve been practicing that for weeks so prove to me that you’ve trained for four years to become the rapper you are today, got it?”

Now fast forward about five, six years later and Kai still hasn’t forgotten about Ari. Maybe it was because it was his first time falling in love so it left a scar in his heart that won’t be healed, many would think he would’ve gotten over her by now right?

Over the years, Kai learned that you never really get over someone; you just learn how to live without them.

Kai sighed and sat on the steps, he could hear s paying board games in Baekhyun’s grandmother’s house.

He could hear Chanyeol’s loud laughter, Baekhyun’s screams as he keeps score and Suho nagging that the game was rigged and that it wasn’t fair. He could hear Sehun clapped obnoxiously every time he scored himself a point and Kyungsoo offering everyone some tea. They were all having fun, but what about him?

Kai looked up at the sky and stared aimlessly at the moon, he thought about Hana, the doctor he had met once just a day or two ago. For some reason, he wanted to see her again; he wanted to make sure that she was okay and that she normally smiles.

He was also scared, that someone he would fall for her and get hurt again at the end. Why was he so concerned about her? Kai knew nothing about Hana yet he cared so much, why?

For now, he just told himself it was because they might have something in common together; maybe they both suffer from depression for the same reason. The thought that he finally found someone with the same problem lingered in the back of his mind. Someone who felt the same as him, someone who understood why he rejected food and tried to dance away the pain, someone who gets him.

He sighed and put his head down eventually drifting off to sleep in the cold. After days of not sleeping, it was the calming moonlight and the soft breeze that put him to sleep.

The next day, he woke up in the dorm with a raging headache…again.

Kai sat up in his bed and furrowed his brows in pain. He got up and clutched his head before walking out slowly. “Guys?” He whispered, his voice was raspy.

He looked around to see an empty living room; Kyungsoo was in the kitchen cooking up some porridge.

“Hyung? Where’s everyone?” He asked softly.

“Sehun’s at a photo shoot with Joonmyeon and Baekhyun is filming roommate with Chanyeol. Manager Kim went to the SM building; he said something about Dr. Jung on the way out.” Kyungsoo mumbled. “Who’s Dr. Jung?”

Kai put his arms down. “Dr. Jung?”

Kyungsoo nodded as he scooped some porridge on a bowl. “I have no clue who she is so don’t ask me.” He shrugged as he placed the bowl on the counter. “I kinda feel bad, is it because we told the fans you had the flu? Because now you actually have it.” He said softly.

Kai took a seat and stared at the bowl of rice porridge in front of him.

“Sorry if it’s bland, Manager Kim said nothing else but this…” Kyungsoo said. “Water?” He placed a glass in front of him.

Kai stirred his food around and stared into space.

I might see Hana today. He thought. Jung Hana. 

[a/n] Oh lord, imagine a sick Jongin >_<

Heh, anticipate the Hana x Kai moments in the next chappie~

-Ivy <3