20

“Seobie, you NEED the job” Seungho pleaded at his cousin when he told him his intentions to quit CUBE advertisements.

It was Sunday early in the morning and they were having breakfast when Yoseob decided to drop the bomb.

“I can find another one” he had being thinking about it for three entire days and, even thought he felt like a coward, he knew that was the best he could do.

“Another one? Another job where you get paid better than your last job and practically three times what both of us earned at the restaurant? Really?” the first part was right but the rest was a bit exaggerated, but Seungho had a point. He was really well paid for what he considered a quit simple job.

“I can always try”

“Oh, right, I forgot how easy it was for you to find this job” he said sarcasm pouring in his words. “No, wait. It wasn’t”

Something started building in Yoseob: guiltiness. Yes, and that’s exactly what Seungho was looking for, Yoseob was sure of that. And, damn, it was working.

“Hyung~”

“But don’t worry, with a curriculum as yours I’m sure people are going to be eager to hire you.... No, wait. That’s not true either”

“Hyung!”

“Who cares, after all you can go back to your previous job… but that would mean going back to…”

“FINE! I’m won’t quit! Just shut up already!” Yoseob finally said, not able to listen to his cousin anymore.

“You have thirty minutes” he heard his cousin yell as he got into the kitchen.

He knew he was right in everything he had said, but that didn’t mean he was more willingly to go to work

“Seriously, I don’t get you” his cousin was telling him as he was about to open the front door “Weren’t you actually excited because you were going to work with your friend? What happened with that?”

Yoseob stopped in his track and looked back at his cousin with the door wide opened.

“Long story” he sighed his replay before closing the door and heading to his work.

Work. To think that, two weeks ago he was running up to his work. Now, he lazily walked to the bus stop. All because of certain person named Yoon Doojoon.

At the beginning he had been excited about working with him because it was easier to work with someone you know. He had thought it would be like when they were in school; that they would work together. However, it didn’t take him long to realise he would be working for Doojoon and not with him. That —he noted— was something totally different.

Working with Doojoon meant sharing ideas, thoughts, befriending. Working for Doojoon meant following his every word, listening and not being able to talk back. It meant being just an employee to him, it meant not meaning anything to him, and that, even if Yoseob didn’t want to admit it, hurt him.

But Yoseob understood. Doojoon was his boss after all and there were things that needed to be clear.

He thought it was due to policy that Doojoon was so cold to him, until one day while he was fixing some documents in Doojoon’s office he found a portrait of Hyunseung and his parents. In it, a five year old Hyunseung was on his mom’s back as she was on his dad’s back. He remembered that picture. Yoseob had been behind Doojoon when he took it at the camp; the last they he saw them.  

It might have not been the best shot, but Yoseob thought it showed the real them like any other studio photo would do.

A memory of the day he met Hyunseung at the restaurant came to his mind.

“She died when I was six”

It’s not that he had forgotten about what Hyunseung said. He actually had been waiting for the right moment to ask Doojoon about it, but since Doojoon didn’t let him talk about anything that wasn’t related to work he hadn’t found the chance to do it.

“Doojoon-ah~~~ let’s go eat--oh” someone said while from the door. Yoseob turned around. It was Mir.

“Oh, Doojoon isn’t here?”

Yoseob denied with his head.

“I see” he smiled awkwardly. “What do you have there?” Mir asked as he approached him.

Mir seemed nice, but they barely talked to each other. Actually, Yoseob barely talked with anyone at the office. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the others, but he didn’t have time to hang out with them.

“Oh, this… well, I found it while I was fixing things here”

Mir took the portrait from his hand and then smiled while looking at it.

“That’s Doojoon’s nephew, Hyunseung, right?” Yoseob knew that already, of course, but Mir wasn’t aware of that. But he might know something more about them, and Yoseob wanted —needed— to know it too.

“You know him?”

“I met him yesterday” another lie, but he did saw Hyunseung when he came the day before. “It’s a really beautiful picture” he added while still trying to get something out of Mir.

“Yes, it is. So bad, it’s the only one Doojoon has”

He was right; Mir knew something he didn’t.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for what I know this is the last picture he took of them before the accident and it’s also the only one he has”

“Accident? What accident?”

“The one where Hyunseung’s parents died”

The moment Mir dropped those words, Yoseob felt his heart stop. His body got cold, his mouth felt dry and he felt the need to sit as his mind worked at light speed.

He already knew Ha Seung was no longer alive; Hyunseung himself had told him she died when he was six. But it wasn’t only her who died when he was six. His dad died too. Both of them died. In an accident! And… if that was the last picture Doojoon took of them then… then the accident was on Hyunseung’s birthday.

“I would thank you to not talk about my private life, Mir” suddenly Doojoon’s voice startled both of them. None of them said a word as Doojoon walked to his desk and sat on the chair, ignoring them completely.

Mir, being Doojoon’s friend for quite a time knew better than to say a word, so he decided to leave the office internally wishing Yoseob good luck.

“I need you to reschedule whatever I have for tomorrow morning. I’m going with Gina to the hospital for her check up” Doojoon said as soon as Mir left and waited for Yoseob to leave as well. But he didn’t.

He waited for a minute or two, but Yoseob didn’t move from his spot. He couldn’t.

His thoughts were a mess and his heart was aching at the thought of the always lovey-dovey couple, the kid’s love couple, Hyunseung’s parents… dead. In an accident the same day they were supposed to celebrate their son’s sixth birthday.

“Is there anything you need?” Doojoon finally asked when Yoseob wouldn’t move.

“Hyunseung’s parents… they’re dead?” he asked/said with quite not steady voice.

Doojoon, who had been looking at him intensively, averted his eyes to the documents in front of him.

“Yes, they are” he answered not really looking at him.

“How… why… ” a big lump in his throat forbidden him to speak properly.

“How? An accident. Why? How should I know?” he said with a tint of venon in his voice.

“No!” he shouted unintentionally making Doojoon look at him with frowned eyebrows “I— I mean— Why didn’t you tell me?” he didn’t intent to, but his voice came in a sort of a whisper, low and unsteady, hurt.

How pathetic of him. So pathetic that Doojoon rolled his eyes at him before looking at him again. This time though, there was something in his eyes that Yoseob couldn’t decipher.  

“How was I supposed to do it? You weren’t there” one by one, his words felt like stabs right at Yoseob’s heart, making him realize what he couldn’t see because of his own selfishness “You weren’t considered enough as to give us a number to call you to after you moved”

He left the day after Hyunseung’s birthday, so he wasn’t there. Not just he wasn’t there; he never told anyone beside their teacher, not even Doojoon that he was moving out. How would Doojoon know? Well, he would have seen the boxes and their cases if he would have go…

Just then; just right then it hit him like a bucket of icy cold water: Doojoon was at the accident. He never arrived to Yoseob’s house because he was at the accident.

Oh God, he felt like . How was he supposed to know? It wasn’t… it wasn’t his fault. Neither Doojoon’s, but he had already decided to save his and let Doojoon sank with everything himself. What a great thing to do.

After that day, it became more and more difficult for Yoseob to go back to work without feeling awfully guilty for his selfishness. And that’s why he really wasn’t expecting to go to work.

Worst of all: it was Sunday. SUNDAY! For God’s sake, who works on Sunday? —someone who needs money obviously, but that wasn’t exactly his case. He obviously complained when he was told to come on Sunday, but –as Gina reminded him— Doojoon’s assistant could be called at any day, at any time —that’s why he gets so well paid— and he would have to go to wherever Doojoon had to go; that he should be his shadow or something like that.

And today was Yoseob’s lucky day. The CEO of a British company that works with Doojoon’s father was coming for a congress of architecture and he was arriving on Sunday at midday. Since it was his first time in Korea, Doojoon’s father had asked him to show him the city, at least on Sunday since the rest of the week he would be busy with the congress. And Yoseob, as Doojoon’s assistant, needed to be by his side, arranging the tour around the city.

That’s why he was now waiting for his boss at the café near CUBE building… for almost thirty minutes. And he was the one late! At the beginning he thought that maybe Doojoon had left already when he didn’t show up at the exact time, but then he asked the waitress if they had seen him —he was pretty well known there— but she said he hadn’t seen him there since the previous day. And so, he had to wait for him to arrive… if he would ever arrive.

He remembered something Gina had told him when he started working: Doojoon hates diplomatic meetings, reunions and anything related to social events and big parties. She also was clear enough to mention that he would do anything to avoid them. Anything, from faking a headache to disappear off to who-knows-where; and it was HIS responsibility to make sure he attended every one of those.

Without even trying to call him —what would he say anyway?— he looked in his agenda for Doojoon’s address and, in less than ten minutes he was standing at Doojoon’s door; not really knowing what he would say. Like really; he arrived there faster than he realised where he was. Should he knock? But, wouldn’t it be inappropriate for him —an employee— to be at his boss’s house —which was nothing extraordinary if you asked him— at eight in the morning? Oh, the policy! No one followed it, anyway.

So he knocked on the door. And he didn’t need to knock again because the door was wide opened in less than a minute and Yoseob was welcomed —not exactly— by a really anxious Doojoon.

“You…” the frown in his face and his tired sigh told Yoseob that he wasn’t waiting it to be him. Obviously. “What are you doing here?”

Doojoon turned around and entered the house again, leaving the door opened. He didn’t exactly invite him in, but Yoseob took the not-closed-door as a cue to come in.

“Well, you told me to meet at the café and you weren’t there, so I thought you-” he followed Doojoon in to the living room where he stood awkwardly, not really knowing what he was doing. It was his first time there after all.

“We’re not going” Doojoon cut him off. “You can take the day off”

Gina had also told him something like this might happen, and that he should confront him and drag him if necessary to where he had to be. Obviously it was easier to say than to do.

“But you’re supposed to—”

“Shouldn’t you be happy that you’re not dealing with me today?” he half turned to Yoseob as he spoke, not stopping walking until he got to the living room and let himself fall on the couch.

“Leave” His voice sounded tired

Although it was an order, it didn’t sound as demanding as it would have been if they were at the office. And maybe it was because they weren’t at the office or because of how unusually tired his voice sounded that Yoseob didn’t ask him for a reason. Yet, he knew there was a reason.

Trying to find out that reason, he observed Doojoon’s every move. How he got up from the couch and walked around the living room; how he played with the phones in his hand and checked them every few seconds; how he plopped down on the couch again like death weight; how tensed were the muscles around his neck; how he graved his hair in despair; how he shut tight his eyes; how it seemed so hard for him to breath. How distressed he looked. He noticed everything.

What could put him in that state? Yoseob didn’t know. He couldn’t know. Yet, he would like to know. But Doojoon had changed so much that he didn’t know him anymore. Well, the only thing that hadn’t changed about him was his love for his nephew. After listening unintentionally to one of their conversations over the phone, Yoseob was sure Doojoon still cared about his nephew as much as he cared ten years ago.

He really cared about him.

Yoseob’s chest tightened.

Hyunseung

It couldn’t be, right?

“Did something happen?” he asked carefully. He had been trying to stay as far away from him as possible, but, if it was what he thought it was… he wasn’t sure anymore.

“Why are you still here?” more than angry, Doojoon’s voice sounded tired; really tired.

“Answer me” he was more demanding than he should. He knew it, but at the moment a bad feeling in his chest told him it didn’t matter.

“It’s not your business”

“Gina said everything that affects you is MY business” he said remembering, once again, Gina’s words. She had made clear that all concerning Doojoon was Yoseob’s business, because his job was to make sure Doojoon completed his schedule and to do that he needed him to be healthy, both physically and mentally. He had to be there for him.

Suddenly the phone rang.

If Yoseob had thought that Doojoon was waiting for someone when he arrived, now, with his speed to answer the phone —it didn’t even rang twice before he answered it— and the sudden change in his face –a quick lighting— when he did it that changed back to the tired one when it wasn’t who he waited it to —or so Yoseob thought— confirmed it.

“Yes” he said to the caller “I’ll tell Hyunseung”

“!” he cursed under his breath after hanging up.

“Doojoon what’s going on? Answer me!” same as Doojoon, Yoseob was getting desperate for the lack of response and the not-knowing-a-thing. He needed to know what was making Doojoon go insane —because that was the only word that could describe his state.

“I ING TOLD YOU TO LEAVE!” Doojoon stood up and yelled at him, but Yoseob has had enough of his not-your-business-bull.

“AND I ING TOLD YOU TO ANSWER ME!”

Was it the stress, maybe the tiredness or it was the surprise that Yoseob had yelled at him; whatever it was it made Doojoon’s cover to break.

“Doojoon-ah— “

Little by little, Yoseob saw how Doojoon’s cover cracked. He plopped on the couch like death weight and Yoseob kneeled in front of him and caressed his hand. For the first time since he started working at CUBE, Yoseob saw his friend.

“Hyunseung… he hasn’t come back home since yesterday”

That pretty much explains Doojoon’s behaviour. However, he could be at a friend’s house maybe and, well, maybe he just forgot to call. Maybe Doojoon was just making a fuss for nothing. Or that’s what Yoseob wanted to believe.

“He wasn’t here when I came back; he’s not at his friend’s house because they had just called me to give him a message; he phone’s turned off and he NEVER turns it off. And even if his battery died on him he would have called me since he knows my number by memory”

Ok, that answers part of his questions. But, if he was out maybe he… erm… is still out? Yoseob was running out of options for where Hyunseung could be.

“I went to the karaoke where he said he was yesterday but it seems that he was never there”

How about calling the police?

“…and I can’t even call the police because it’s not even 24 hours since I last talked to him”

Breath, Yoseob, breath. In and out, in and out. Hyunseung was missing, Doojoon had been looking for him but he’s nowhere to be found; and they can’t even report it to the police. What could they do?

Suddenly, Doojoon’s phone rang and Doojoon rapidly took it, a hint of hope in his face. However, it fell down once he looked at the caller’s name. It was Junhyung.

After so many years those two were still friends. Yoseob wondered the three of them would still be friends if he didn’t move to Japan with his mom. It certainly would have been something nice.

“Junhyung-ah” Doojoon answered the call. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk to his friend, but at the moment the only voice he wanted —needed— to listen was his nephew’s.

He waited for Junhyung to say something, but just incoherent mumblings were heard.

“Junhyung-ah, are you there?” he insisted. It was probably the line.

“Ah, ani… hyung” He was about to hang up when someone at the other side talked and his heart almost stopped. He wasn’t listening wrong, was he? He wasn’t hallucinating. “It’s me, Hyunseung”

There, it did was him. It was…

“JANG HYUNSEUNG, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN??!!” …his ing nephew!

Yoseob was startled and fell back when Doojoon suddenly stood up and started yelling on the phone.

“Do you have a ing idea of how worried I was?! No, you DON’T!”

Was this really the same gloomy Doojoon he was trying to cheer up few minutes ago? He wasn’t sure anymore. One thing was sure: Doojoon is bipolar.

Wait, so Hyunseung was with Junhyung? Why? How so?

Before Yoseob was able to ask him anything, Doojoon dropped himself to the floor and hid his head between his knees while covering his face with both arms. For a moment there, Yoseob thought he was imagining things but when he saw Doojoon’s shoulder shaking a little, he was sure: he was crying.

“He’s fine… he’s with Junhyung” Doojoon’s voice came muffled behind his arms when Yoseob started rubbing his back, trying to comfort him. Gladly it worked. After few minutes Doojoon stopped crying but was still in the same position, so Yoseob kept on rubbing his back.

It was the closest they had been since they met again. And Yoseob liked it. Internally, he was glad that Hyunseung had made them get closer, even though it was because he was missing. It kind of made him feel bad for thinking that way. Scratch that; he felt really bad for feeling that way. How could he be glad??!! How selfish can he really be?! Doojoon was right to feel apprehensive towards him. And it made him feel like crying. For real.

They stayed like that for some good ten minutes before Doojoon decided it had been enough and that now he needed to hear his nephew’s voice again. And so he called Junhyung again, this time a lot more calmed than before, and Hyunseung explained him whatever that had happened.

“I’m going to pick him up” Doojoon said as soon as he hung up “You can have the day--”

“I’m coming with you” Yoseob cut him off, he knew he was going to give him the day off but that would mean to go back to the same the next day. No, Yoseob couldn’t miss this chance.

Doojoon didn’t voice it, but Yoseob was sure he was asking why. His eyes said it. However, it’s not like he could tell him the truth. No, he needed an excuse since; and it had to be a good one since Doojoon wouldn’t let him matter into his personal business

“You still have to meet your father’s friend at the airport”

The look Doojoon gave him made him wonder if he had chosen the wrong excuse.

“I-it’s at noon s-so we still have time to plan something” he tried again while looking at him with somehow puppy eyes. He was pleading, for a different reason, but he was pleading.

“Let’s go”

And luckily Doojoon agreed.

It was it. Yoseob was going to take this chance to make it up to Doojoon.

He had been mad at him for stood him up without knowing that at the same time he was losing his sister and brother in law. And for not knowing it he had made and stupid excuse to save his since he thought Doojoon was afraid of him. If his assumptions were right, maybe he could ask for forgiveness. Maybe he and Doojoon could be friends again. Maybe they could try again.

And that was a chance Yoseob wasn’t going to let go.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

AHHH!!! FINALLY!!

OMG I've been gone for more than three months!! I can't believe it ><

I'm sorry guy, I'm really sorry. But my reason are strong. As some of you know, I'm a med student and it itself is hard. Then I had the brilliant idea to get myself into this Cientific society and be part of some sort of comite that organizes this event that takes place once a year. So, not only my studies where my life but this CS too. As result of it, I've been death tired the entire semestre. And when I thought "vacations, FINALLY!" No, I forgot this event I've been talking about is still up. And I had to invite important Doctors here in my country, stalk some damn students that wouldn't send their works in time, look for other doctors that could be part of the judge and so and so.

Do you know how many days I ate decently in the last week? ONE! and that was because the president of the comite asked me to do something and I wasn't needed in the event until two in the afternoon. 

Let me give you an advise: if you don't want to stan in high heels for 14 hours in a row, to not have lunch (a real lunch), to run from here to there, to follow people, to be stressed over people being late and so and so... all of that FOR A WHOLE WEEK, don't get yourself into these kind of events, and much less be part of the comite that organizes it. 

I'm telling you, IT'S SO DAMN TIRING!

And here I am. one week after that, trying to write my report.

T___T 

It's not over yet!!!!

leave coments my dear readers, love you all~~