The following day, I showed up to cheering early. We didn't officially start until 2:45, but I had nothing better to do. None of my best friends were cheerleaders, and it so happened that all of my friends that did cheer were making up tests and seeing teachers, and occupying themselves in other ways. I figured that maybe Miss Park would need help setting mats or something, and that maybe she would welcome the alone time as much as I would. I could dream, right?

 

After I'd changed, I showed up at the gym, happy to see that Miss Park had come early too.

 

"Hi, chae," she said, smiling. I loved that she shortened my name. It seemed reminiscent of some sort of affection.

 

"Hi, Miss Park," I smiled back. "I know I'm early, I just figured I'd see if you needed any help."

 

"How sweet," she said, and my heart did backflips. "Actually, I--"

 

My phone started ringing then. I sighed. It was jiyeon.

 

"Hold on one sec," I said, taking my phone out. "Sorry."

 

"No problem," she said.

 

"Hello?"

 

"chaerin , we need to talk. I know I said we should get space, but I can't do this. I need you back."

 

I sighed. She was so dramatic. I knew she'd be crawling back soon, but I didn't know it'd be that soon. "jiyeon, I'm at cheering right now. I'll call you later, okay?"

 

"So you're just gonna put this off? It's important, chaerin !"

 

"Yes," I said calmly, rolling my eyes. "I am. I get out at five."

 

She made some ridiculous noise into the phone, indicating her disgust, but I didn't play into it. I knew she liked to blow things out of proportion, and I couldn't let her. "Bye, jiyeon."

 

"Ugh," she said. "Bye."

 

I hung up. "Sorry," I said again to Miss Park . "Ex-girlfriend."

 

She looked shocked and surprised, and I realized she probably hadn't known I was a biual. Most of the school knew, because they'd known me for a long time, but she was new. And at face value, no one ever expected it. I never dressed or styled myself in a certain way that indicated my uality, and I realized she must have had no idea.

 

"Oh," I said awkwardly. "It doesn't...I mean, you don't care, that...that I'm..."

 

I don't know why I was apologizing. Normally, if anyone had a problem with my uality, I'd tell them exactly what to do about it. But she was different, and I just wanted her to like me.

 

"Oh, no!" she said, realizing how she'd come off. "No, not at all, I..." she trailed off. I said nothing.

 

"I...I'm..." she stammered, blushing a little bit. "I know how ex-girlfriends can be," she half smiled.

 

____

 

That night, I didn't bother trying to sleep. I knew that no matter how much I tried, my mind would just be lit up with scenarios about my English teacher.

 

When I'd first become interested in Miss Park , I'd figured it was just some schoolgirl fantasy. She was too straigh