After that, it seemed like I existed in a parallel universe where somehow, things were good with Chaerin , and things were somewhat good with Taeyeon . Up to this point, I'd never known that kind of sensation. When I'd been with Taeyeon , Chaerin had to stay on the back burner, where I knew she wasn't happy to be. And when I was with Chaerin , I was only allowing myself to be, because I was mad at Taeyeon . Now,Chaerin had my attention, and Taeyeon and I weren't back together, but we were getting along. At least, we were being civil.

 

Things with Chaerin ? Good.

 

Things with Taeyeon ? Good.

 

Things with me?

 

Miserable.

 

The only reason things were working at all, was because I'd conveniently omitted some details. I hadn't told Taeyeon about Chaerin . When I'd somewhat agreed to reconcile, even if I hadn't agreed to get back together, I'd never mentioned that there was someone else. And of course, the opposite was true. I'd never told Chaerin that I'd called Taeyeon after we broke up. I never told her that she'd come over. And, most importantly, I never told her that we kissed.

 

The guilt ate at me relentlessly, but was it really my fault? Did I have to tell Chaerin I was calling Taeyeon ? We weren't officially dating. And was it wrong of me not to tell Taeyeon about Chaerin ? Is it someone's responsibility to tell an ex-girlfriend about a new relationship? Of course not. So why did I feel so awful?

 

______

 

"You left your scarf at my apartment," I told Chaerin the following morning.

 

"I did it on purpose," she said. "So you'd invite me back."

 

I smiled. "Really?"

 

"No," she said. "But I did have a great time." That was a relief. I knew that it had definitely been a great time - for both of us - up until the Taeyeon episode. Then things kind of went downhill.

 

"Even though I locked you in a closet?"

 

She laughed. "Even thou