Prompt: Hello :D! Can I get a markjin one where they are dating but Mark has been cheating on Jinyoung for a while...

Warnings: Mentions of alchohol, , suicide.

The sound of the shower echoed throughout the room, the droplets hitting the tub floor sounding like bullets through the redhead’s ears. With unsteady hands he began putting on his pants. There was a hole on one of the knees, from a hiking trip with Jinyoung. The younger hated things like that, always complaining about bugs and the heat but he went because Mark asked him too. Mark was always the outdoorsy type, roaming the woods since he was a kid, bruised knees and bug bites where no stranger to him.

Jinyoung was a city boy through and through; even though he was born in the country his parents quickly shipped him off to go to school in Seoul, studying while staying at his aunt’s house. They met in Mark’s first year of college, when the cutest boy he’d ever laid eyes on walked into his 10 o clock math class.

It seemed like Jinyoung took an interest in him too because they hit it off immediately and started dating not long after. That was four years ago.

“Mark.” A voice called from the closed white door next to him. The splashing was louder this time, indicating someone was shuffling around.

“What.” The redhead responded, in the midst of buttoning up his jeans.

After a few seconds the sound of footsteps could be heard and the door creaked open to reveal a upperhalf peeking through, the man leaned against the doorframe, hair wet and dripping down onto his chest.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” He spoke ruggedly, arms crossed over his chest with a smirk on his face. The door opened wider to reveal a hint of a pelvis and calf.

Mark gripped his jeans to the point his knuckles turned white. With a quiet hushed voice he responded.

“Ok.”

This man was not Jinyoung.

—-

Jinyoung sighed, rubbing his elbow as he glanced at the clock once more. It was 11pm, Mark was supposed to be home by 6. It was their anniversary after all.

The food in front of them had long cooled but Jinyoung remained seated, watched as the soup he prepared wasted away and the meat chilled, until the smoke vanished and all that was left was an unappetizing dinner.

Jinyoung had hoped, no he had prayed that Mark would’ve remembered on his own, would have stayed home from work and surprised the younger with a fabulous dinner and date. That he would take him out to an amusement park, a zoo, a movie anything. Like he used too.

Back when they were in college and Mark would steal Jinyoung in the middle of his class to take him to feed the ducks at the park or something equally as silly. Where they would lie on the grassy hills and Mark would use his jacket as a makeshift blanket and Jinyoung would tell him about his dreams and ambitions and Mark would listen with a quiet contemplative look and he would take Jinyoung’s hand, kiss his knuckles, and promise him the world.

And Jinyoung would laugh, but feel the butterflies explode in his stomach and he would reach up and entwine his fingers in Mark’s hair (it was red then) and pull him down for a kiss Mark would return with equal fervor.

Jinyoung would get a bad grade in the class at the end of the semester but god if it meant being with Mark he would’ve given anything.

Still would.

The creaking of the door signals someone’s arrived and Jinyoung watches with tired eyes as his boyfriend stumbles into the living room, not even sparing a glance at Jinyoung’s dinner before he bursts into the bathroom, the sound of dry heaving and puking ringing through the apartment.

Jinyoung clenches his hands tightly on his lap, nails digging into his palms. He gets up and walks towards the bathroom. The stench of sweat, vomit, alcohol and reaches him at the door. Mark looks pathetic, kneeling over the toilet, skin sickly pale and clothes ragged.

Quietly Jinyoung walks over to him and crouches, placing a hand on Mark’s back and rubbing smooth circles into it while his other hand gently pushes the hair away from his forehead. After Mark’s episode Jinyoung leads him towards the bed, discarding his clothes before tucking him in gently. It only takes a couple seconds before he’s passed out completely. Jinyoung walks back to the kitchen and throws away all the food he has made, his stomach is screaming in hunger but the younger can’t feel it.

He hasn’t been able to feel anything for a while now.

He walks back to their bedroom and undresses, before crawling next to Mark.  He sleeps facing him, watching him and tracing his features. He’s just as handsome as when Jinyoung first met him, his red hair and baby fat may be gone but he’s still just as gorgeous. The pillow starts to feel damp underneath him, and Jinyoung sighs. Wiping the tears from his eyes but they refuse to stop, coming back stronger every time.

Mark doesn’t wake up to Jinyoung’s quiet sobs next to him, he never does.

——

With a groan Mark blinks his eyes open; the sunlight is strong and painful but Mark’s headache overpowers it. His stomach is twisting and he feels completely disgusting, he really hopes he doesn’t throw up on the bed sheets Jinyoung would kill him. He looks over and notices the bed is empty and neatly made on his side, he must of left already.

Twisting his body Mark rolls out of bed and stumbles his way into the bathroom. Groggily he turns on the shower and takes in his messy appearance in the mirror. His hair is knotted and mused and his face is sunken in, there are red marks on his torso and Mark feels another wave of nausea when he seems them. He quickly pulls himself into the steaming shower, the water is far too hot but Mark doesn’t lower the temperature, he deserves far worse for the things he’s done. He scrubs angrily on the marks on his body feeling disgusted with himself; he doesn’t care if he’s drawing blood he just wants them off. He hates the way they stand out on his pale skin hates that the person who caused them was not Jinyoung.

Mark feels a familiar heat pool up in his stomach and he bends down emptying his already empty stomach once again.

Once he steps out of the showers and changes he makes his way to the kitchen. There’s an uncomfortable feeling in the air, like something is missing but then again maybe it’s been missing for a while now.

There’s a note on the counter with a pill bottle sitting on top of it. Mark blinks as he reads it.

Take 2 tablets now and then another 2 after 8 hours. If you’re still feeling sick make an appointment with Dr.Kim his number is written on a post it note on the fridge. There’s enough food to last a week but after that you need to do grocery shopping. I’m going to be staying at a friend’s house for a while.

Mark feels his insides go cold. He rereads the note, and then another time for good measure. The handwriting is definitely Jinyoungs, the words are messier than normal he must have been in a hurry when writing it.

I’m going to be staying at a friend’s house for a while

With a snap to his neck Mark hurries back to the bedroom finally realizing what was wrong.

A lot of Jinyoung’s stuff was missing. He forces the drawers open and is only met with empty space, he tries the closet next and it’s the same. The only items in there are Mark’s clothes.

He feels a lump stuck in his throat and his heart is beating crazily, running to the living room he notes some missing pictures on the wall, a few of Jr’s knickknacks are gone too.

No no no no this can’t be happening.

Mark’s getting desperate, the throbbing in his head is back but he ignores it. Part of him knew, part of him always knew that Jinyoung would break eventually. After all, he had a cheating boyfriend Mark was lucky Jinyoung stuck with him this long.

The older male let out a dry chuckle, his legs giving out underneath him sending him crumpling to the floor. His chuckles quickly became sobs as he felt the hot tears stream down his face. He’s such a piece of ; he hates himself so ing much.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and Mark scrambles to fish it out, heartbeat accelerating at the thought that Jinyoung might be trying to contact him. He quickly unlocks his phone and checks his new message.

From: J B

Are you coming over tonight?

Mark grips the phone in his hands, this person, JB, was the reason Mark’s life is ruined. With a scream he throws the phone against the wall and sees it smash into pieces.

—-

About a year ago Mark was managed to land his dream job as an English translator at a major entertainment company. He worked modestly with a few other translators under a man named Im Jaebum, the head of the department. Jaebum was charming and ruggedly handsome and very dangerous. Dangerous because he would creep up behind Mark and place a hand on his waist while Mark was getting water, lean in to whisper something in his ear while Mark worked, s a hand up his thigh during a meeting.

The worse part about it was that Mark let him and let himself be seduced by it. Seduced by his masculine appeal, by the way he would send shivers down his spine like Jinyoung never could. All it took was a few drinks and the feel of hand on his lower back for Mark to crawl into his bed.

——

Jinyoung doesn’t come back the next day, or the day after that, or the week after that. Two years pass before Mark realizes it’s time to stop waiting.

Mark was a wreck for the first few weeks, he skipped work and called Jinyoung’s phone daily but only to meet the answering machine every time. Mark called all of Jinyoung’s friends and went to their houses but none of them would see Mark let alone tell him anything.

His drinking got progressively worse and so did his lifestyle. He was fired from work despite Jaebums attempts to help but Mark couldn’t stand the other, couldn’t stand to face the man he had chosen over the love of his life.

It wasn’t until Mark lost his apartment that he truly hit rock bottom. The apartment was the only thing Mark had left of Jinyoung and losing it gave him a wakeup call. He stopped drinking and managed to get some of his life together.

He even got a hint about Jinyoung, he heard from an acquaintance that he was spotted in a town nearby and immediately Mark packed his bags to go after him. It was reckless and stupid but Mark never stopped loving Jinyoung and he hoped and prayed that Jinyoung never stopped loving him as well.

——

Out of all the places Mark sees him in the park.

He’s crouching feeding the ducks by himself and Mark feels his throat close up. Jinyoung is just as beautiful as the last time Mark saw him.

Mark approaches him warily, he’s so goddam scared but he swallows his fear and with a shaky voice calls out.

“Hey.”

He sees Jinyoung visibly stiffen before slowly turning around, their eyes meet and Mark’s heart breaks.

Jinyoung looks shocked to see him, a wave of emotions pour through his eyes before they unexpectedly settle down and Jinyoung smiles at him.

Mark want’s to cry so badly, he’d never imagine Jinyoung would smile at him like that again and Mark’s so happy his heart is filling with hope because he maybe just maybe might have a chance still.

Jinyoung stands up and brushes the dust of his jeans before approaching the older male.

“Hey.” He responds and after a while he adds. “You look good.”

Mark lets out a huff of breath, he wants to bring Jinyoung into a hug so badly kiss him breathless but it’s too soon and Mark doesn’t want to screw things up again.

“You too.” He responds with a shaky voice and smiles back at Jinyoung.

—-

They hang out the whole day and just catch up, never bringing up any past memories instead talking about new ones. Mark tells him that’s he’s quit drinking and how his life’s been getting better and Jinyoung smiles and tells him about his job and the friends he’s made as they walk through a bridge and take a seat on a bench next to the edge. Mark drums his fingers nervously; his heart is fluttering so badly. All the love he had buried resurfacing with so much force.

There’s a moment of quiet before Mark brings out the words he’s been dying to say, he knows he won’t have to courage later.

“I’m so ing sorry for what I did to you Jinyoung.”

His voice starts to crack but he keeps going, eyes blurring from the wetness in his vision.

“I still love you, I never stopped.” Mark holds his breath, there’s a light breeze in the sky and it ruffles the trees, sending a few leaves to the ground.

Jinyoung still hasn’t responded.

Mark feels his nervous eat him alive, he feels on the verge of doing something rash when Jinyoung’s moving distracts him. Mark turns to look at him, eyes wide and curious as his palms grip the bench painfully.

The younger reaches into the bag he had with him and pulls out a small envelope and pushes it into Mark’s hands unsteadily. Mark grabs it automatically not understanding what’s going on.

“I’m sorry.” Jinyoung says in a whisper, eyes downcast but jaw set firmly and with that he stood up from the bench and walked away. Mark looked on wordlessly, the chill in his insides coming back.

With shaky hands he opens the envelope and pulls out a paper. He reads it.

TOGETHER WITH THEIR FAMILIES

PARK JINYOUNG AND WANG JACKSON

 INVITE YOU TO SHARE WITH THEM

THE JOY OF THEIR WEDDING DAY-

Mark stops reading. There’s droplets on the paper and it’s a shame because today was such good weather, there wasn’t any forecast for rain. He looks up, the skies are clear.

Oh. It must be him then, when did he start to cry?

The waves look so beautiful at night; the light from the moon is bouncing off the water making it look like there are stars swimming along with the fish. Mark gets up and walks towards the rail.

Maybe he should go for a swim.

——

1 new voicemail

Mark? Hey…it’s me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier…but I… met someone Mark, his name is Jackson and he’s amazing. I never thought I’d be able to love again but he proved me wrong and well…we’re getting married. I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear but I just needed to tell you. I guess, maybe, I’m not completely over you either. But life goes on, people move on. I just hope you’re doing well. Please take care of yourself-

Message end.

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