Chapter 6

She was the woman he loved deeply & she was now a married woman. Both were good reasons to try to forget her, except for the fact that Jaejoong had far greater cause to remember her. She was the first & only person he had ever felt really miserable without her. There were times he missed her so badly it was a physical ache. He could still visualize her as clearly as if she were with him now, sitting beside him, teasing & laughing at his radiant jokes, her beautiful eyes full of stars in them, a smile that made his heart dance & shiny color hair swinging around her shoulders. The amazing feeling crept his heart when he imagined sliding his hand between her silky-hair. He could hear her infectious laughter & soft groan that excited him when he kissed her.

Tiffany.

Sweet memories. He swallowed hard. He couldn’t believe that he lost his hope after all these three years he had been looking for her. He wished he could forget Tiffany Hwang after knowing she was a married woman now & how he had felt about her. There was no shortage of women wanting to interest him. However, she had taken his heart with her.

‘Tiffany had never been so beautiful as when she was sitting in that dimly lighted hotel bar last night.’ Jaejoong thought. Her face in the soft yellow glow of the lamp had been almost tender & the husky voice of hers had been like the soft music in his ears.

He was absolutely sure that she still had the power to attract him, that she could take his self-control with her smile, “She hadn’t even done anything to cause that attraction. She is a magnet.” He told himself. He was convinced that the magnetism she had exuded had been completely unintentional.

Jaejoong took in a deep breath of the early morning air as he sat down at the Starbuck cafe. The place was in an ideal location, graciously designed with style. He felt comfortable sitting down there. It was still early, however, Abbotsford International Airport seemed to never sleep. People were walking in a hurry. His plane would take off in another three hour.

Three hour.

In another three hour, he would leave Canada & Tiffany. Jaejoong sipped his ice coffee & tried to dismiss the fact that Tiffany wasn’t there but as he remembered her wearing a diamond ring on her wedding finger, he knew that he had no hope. Their relationship had ended. She belonged to somebody else. It was their fate & he had to accept it.

For a long moment, he had been sitting like a statue. His brain stopped functioning & that made him angry. It had terrified him as well, for he had no right to be her lover now. He had no right to want her & he knew that in the future, he would only fool himself if he persisted, “Oh, god.” He muttered, under his breath. In fact, everything have changed. There were her son’s, the little boys who stood between them & made it utterly impossible that they could ever recapture the glow of their sweet moments.

The thought of losing Tiffany made him shudder to the depths of his soul, “It’s impossible for us to be together as she had said it last night & that was the end.” He told himself firmly.

‘I wish you all the happiness in the world’, she had said. Damn! He didn’t want her to wish him happiness. He wanted her to miss him, to love him but that was selfish! Even if she did miss him, love him; it was impossible that there could ever be anything between them again. She was a married woman & there were two boys. The children who should have been his but weren’t. Only god knows how he wished Tiffany’s son’s might have been his son’s. The idea of that had sent chills down Jaejoong’s spine.

No, he was a gentleman. He knew when he had to retreat when the war had ended & he was a loser. He had to keep his distance from Tiffany.

‘Goodbye, Tiffany. Even if it’s only a short time, I’m grateful to know you, to love you & have you once in my arms. My only wish is only to see you happy.’ He muttered silently inside his heart.

‘& forget her?’ His mind asked him.

Jaejoong let out a big sigh, “I will try my best.” He said to himself. He had thought about Tiffany a lot while he was in the hospital. He had even come back to Seoul with the intention of looking her up. Only her. She had his heart & soul. He couldn’t live without her. However, she wasn’t his anymore. His mind kept reminding his heart.

He blinked his eyes & bit his lower lips. He had to forget her but now, as he glanced over at her photograph in his wallet, he realized that those emotions were shifting. He still had emotions & feelings for her, now & forever.

From a distance, Tiffany watched the familiar figure sitting alone at the Starbuck cafe. He looked so depressed & lonely. She shut her eyes tightly, squeezing back the futile tears, wishing she could erase the image of him that had been flashing so freshly in her mind since three years ago.

Kim Jaejoong was still magnetically handsome, radiating the same powerful magnetism that had drawn her to him at their very first meeting. In just a few moments, she still recognized his heart-breaking smile. The startling directness of his eyes tugged at her heart.

Tiffany shook her head sadly. She shouldn’t be thinking about him anymore when it was hopeless for them to get together again, & today was the last time she would see him. She couldn’t bear it. She just couldn’t bear it. Since last night, she had tried to convince herself that what she had done was the best for both of them. She brought him bad