'Joo Hyun... Are you sure about this? We can do this another time when your ready... I'll go and let him know...' 

'Dont..' I whispered, my voice hoarse. He turned to look at me, his eyes full of worries.

'But clearly, your not ready..' 

'I have to do this, Jongdae.. Honestly, I'll never ever be ready for this.. But, I have to get over this as soon as possible... I'll be alright.. After all you'll be here for me.. right?' I gave him a weak smile before reaching over to squeeze his arm. 

'Please, Jongdae.. Have faith in me...' 

'I'm so getting high blood pressure because of you, Joo Hyun.. Go.. I dont think can face him right now... I'll be here...' His voice, thick with annoyance. He turned away, looking out of the window. 

'I'll be right back, Jongdae-ah..' I whisper as I climb out of the car, closing the door lightly. 

I pull the lapels of my coat, as I walked closer to the figure standing, facing the beautiful Hangeng River. I stood a few metres away, admiring the man who stole my heart. The cool winter air blew softly at his tousled hair. Sighing, I walked towards him, standing a few feet from him, my eyes looking straight ahead.

'I'm sorry to keep you waiting...'

'Oh.. Hyunnie.. You came.. Its okay.. I'm happy that you agreed to meet me...' He replied, inching closer, his hands spread open as if he were to hug me.

'No..' I croaked out. He nodded his head slightly , his eyes teary,full of remorse.It took all the willpower I had in me to not crumble and hug him. 

'What..  what is it that you need to meet me for? ' I frown upon hearing the obvious quiver in my voice. I cleared my voice lightly, hugging my body tightly. 

'I...' 

'Tell me..  How long has it been? Who was it?' I blurted out. 

'Hyunnie...  it doesnt matter.. Please forgive me...I truly am sorry... ' He plead, his hands gripping my elbow hard. 

'Let go of me now... ' My voice surprisingly calm even thou I was trying to break free from his hold.

'No.. not until u forgive me..' He tighten his grip. 

'Answer my question first...' 

'I'm sorry, Hyunnie... it started, the day You were admitted...I was heartbroken.. and totally wasted.. She helped me forget...' 

'Oh... I get it now...' I felt great pain welling up in me as the truth hits me hard in the face.

'Hyunnie.. We can get thru this.. I still love you... I regret everything now.. Please, Hyunnie.. Dont throw away our love... Please forgive me..' He grabbed hold of both my wrists, begging me.

'Stop.. Oppa.. Stop... Please...' Tears trickled down my cheeks as I recalled how I suffered the lonely nights, feeling sorry for the lost of my child and there he was, cheating on me. 

'I believe she told you to stop..' 

My knees buckled as I felt his grip loosen, didnt realise that all this while he was supporting me. 

'Joo Hyun!' A pair of hands caught me from behind as he supported me up.

'Joohyun, Lets go now.. You stubborn girl...' Jongdae said as he wipes the tears away from my cheeks. 

'But..' 

By now, I was sobbing hard into Jongdae's shoulder. His familiar arms comforting me.

'Hyung.. Stop it.. She'll call you if she wants.. If not.. Just let her go...' 

'Araso... Take good care of her Jongdae...' 

'Come.. Lets go, Joohyun...' 

'Joohyun.. do you wanna talk about it?' 

I stare out of the window, shaking my head slightly. I heard him sigh in exasperation. He pulled the car to the side of the road as he bang the steering wheel hard.

'Dammit Joohyun.. I warned you.. I warned you to not see him.. but you did.. I promised you that I'll be here for you for every step of the way.. But how can I help you when your not even helping yourself!' 

I felt sorry for making Jongdae angry.  I felt sorry for even troubling him. But last of all, I felt sorry at my own self. 

'It started on the day I was admitted...' 

'Oh .. JooHyun.. I'm so sorry for shouting at you..' Jongdae pull me into his embrace as he my hair gently.

'It was the day.. the day where I needed him the most.. Jongdae-ah... The day that we lost our baby... How could he? How could he even?' 

'Cry it out.. Joohyun.. You'll feel much better after this.. Trust me..' He patted my back as he let me cry my heart out.

'Go and rest inside the room.. Dont worry about Samchon.. I'll entertain him..' Jongdae flashes me his handsome smile as he pushes me into the room. 

I walked slowly towards the bed, sinking gently into the soft mattress. I was tired. Tired of crying, tired from feeling the hurt and sorry, tired from making everyone around me worry. My eyes wandered around the room, landing on the mirror at the corner of the room. All sorts of thoughts run thru my mind. It would be so easy if all of this didnt happen. If I were to know of my pregnancy and take good care of it. It was unfair of me to put all the blame on to Joonmyun oppa. After all I did push him to a corner, he had always wanted a big family. It happen all because of me. 

I didnt realise that I had walked closer to the mirror. My face puffy, eyes red and swollen from all the crying. I look at my reflection, looking at the sad lady staring back at me. A sudden urge of anger erupted inside of me. I raised up my hand and threw the flower vase beside it against the mirror. I was angry at how pathetic I look. I was angry at how unfair everything was. 

'JOOHYUN! OPEN THE DOOR NOW!' Hearing Jongdae's frantic voice as he pounded on the door. 

Chuckling slightly to myself as I look down at the mess I made. 

'Silly.. He thought I harm myself... Hmmmm...'

I bend down sweeping the glass shards to the sides. The sharp edges grazes my fingers. I could feel a sense of adrenaline pumping thru my veins as I watch the red liquid trickles down my fingers.

The pounding on the door died down as I seek solace in the blood flowing.

The pain from the glass shards masked the heartache I was feeling. Feeling greedy, I wrapped my fingers around the biggest piece I could find. Closing my eyes and smiling slightly, I applied pressure on my arm. Feeling the skin split open gave me a sense of satisfaction,trading the emotional pain for physical pain. I placed the glass shard down as I leaned against the wall. Watching the blood flows steadily down my arm. 

The door swing open, and I saw the look on Appa's and Jongdae's blurry faces as they rush over to my side. Jongdae had removed his tshirt and wrapping it around my hand. 

'What do you think your doing,Joohyun-ah!'

'Babo! I'm so angry at you right now Joohyun.. ' Jongdae mumbled as he tighten the tshirt.

'Appa..Jongdae.. I'm not suicidal.. I would explain to you... But right now.. I want to sleep...' I gave them my innocent smile as my vision darkens.

Author's Notes

First of all.. I apologize for not updating for a very long time...ㅠㅠ Juggling part time studies and fulltime work is seriously no joke... But I'll try my best to update often.. hehe.. Anyway I tried my best to pick up from where I left.. So please pardon me if this chapter doesnt reach up ur expectations.. Oh and please leave ur feedbacks and enjoy reading! ~~