It has been five weeks since you had learn that you were pregnant. As the time goes by, you grow to love your baby more. It’ll be so hard to let you go, you thought as you your now forming baby bump slowly. You had nothing else to do. Hongbin’s life and career was more important than you and your baby.

You don’t have dozens of fans following your every step, Hongbin has. You don’t have hundreds of people who love you, Hongbin has.

In conclusion, Hongbin was way more important than you.

But your baby was important too. Even though you don’t what it looks like, you love your baby. You even thought about names, you were feeling like it was a girl, so you named her Haneul already.

It would be so hard for you to part away from her... Or him, you didn’t know anyway.

What should you decide on?

Kill your baby?

Or kill both of you?

Killing only your baby seemed unfair to you, she/he will be dead but you will live your life afterwards. It was not just unfair, it was cruel too.  That baby have every reason to live. You can’t just kill it and then be alright with every thing else.

For these five weeks, you were like a walking corpse. You didn’t feel alive, so what was the purpose of living?

Hongbin, the other VIXX members and the managers were in trouble because of you. Because you were thoughtless, you were reckless. You pulled others with you down too.

You still couldn’t look at members’ faces properly. You were so ashamed. They looked even more exhausted as the time goes by. All because of you. They were working so hard to prove the CEO that, whatever happens, they were always  going to work. So they can tell the CEO that you were pregnant.

But no, you won’t let them tire themselves out, literally killing themselves bit by bit because of you.

You have to make a decision, whether it will be about baby, or both of you.

As you were lost in your thoughts, Hongbin came in the room and crawled beside you on the bed. For these five weeks, you became close because you were carrying a baby, his baby.

“Still lost in your thoughts?” he asked, half worried, half joking.

You forced a smile. “Mhm,” you said, nodding quitely.

“Don’t think too much. You’re stressing yourself out. It’s bad for our baby girl,” he said, smiling at his last sentence.

“You-“ you shuttered. “What did you say?”

“I feel like it’s a baby girl.”

You bit your lower lip, trying not to cry. Damn hormones already!  “Ho-Hongbin,” you said. “I-I feel like it’s a girl too. I named her Haneul in my mind.”

“Haneul,” he repeated. “It’s beautiful.”

You looked at his eyes, they were glowing. They’re glowing now, you thought. They won’t in a few years. You bit your lip again. I’m sorry Hongbin, I can’t give you happiness.

“Who do you think she will look like,” he asked, all of a sudden. You were startled with the question.

“I-I don’t know. I hope she… she will look like you,” you said, forcing a smile for the 10th time today.

“Why?” he asked again, but this time, touching your belly hesitantly.  You had goosebumps with his touch.

“You-you’re so beautiful, that’s why,” you said, shuttering again like an idiot.

He knitted his eyebrows. “You’re beautiful too.”

You looked at him again, horror was showing on your face. “What?”

“You’re beautiful, too.” He repeated.

“No,” you said. “I’m really not, thank you.” You got up and ran straight to the toilet because you felt like throwing up. You hated when an attractive person (like Hongbin) compliments you. You knew that it was a lie, they were saying because they don’t want you to feel bad.

When will this sickness stop, you thought as you bend down to throw up. You hated throwing up because you were feel like choking and you were afraid that you were gonna die, or worse, have your eyeballs to explode.

You heard knocks on the door as you finished. Hongbin was calling your name, he sounded worried.

“I’m okay,” you shouted. “It’s just a morning sickness.”

“Can I get in?” he asked.

“N-no, wait!” You flushed the toilet and washed your mouth, brushed your teeth as soon as possible, and got out.

“You okay?” he asked, he looked concerned.

You nodded. “I am, it’s just a morning sickness.. Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”

He just nodded and followed you to bedroom.

You felt sad all of a sudden. He looked worried about you and excited about the baby.

But you can’t have the baby. If you have the baby, you will be sad even more.

He will forget the baby, he will forget you. And you’ll be happy with your baby in the sky.

Finally, you had decided…

Uh-oh? What's going on?

I'm on vacation nowadays and won't be back until August 15th.. I wanted to update something since it has been soooooo long since I updated.

She has decided on what she want to do about the baby, finally lol

Hope you like it ^^ (bc i didnt like it again)