[a/n: Hello everyone, after being on a hiatus for so long I decided to continue this fic. I am actually having a hard time continuing this because

I lost the original file and my other drafts. I somewhat forgot the original plot so I decided to just make a new one and change the timeline entirely.  I reread this and found tons of mistakes so I’ll try to edit those as soon as possible. Anyway, here is the 12^th entry.  Hope you enjoy this. Love you all!]

~ 12th Song ~

she’s mine, don’t touch her, don’t you know what I’m saying?

no matter who you are, I can’t give her up

she’s mine, don’t you know what I’m saying

she’s my one and only girl, she’s mine

I can’t give her up

no matter how much you hit on her, nothing will change

you know she’s mine

< She’s mine – Ukiss >

***

Jiyong drove to a quaint café near Hongdae that night. He arrived right on time and was surprised to see Lee Donghae at the farthest corner of the café, already seated. Being early doesn’t mean much. He’s probably from someplace near here.  Jiyong can’t shrug off the feeling of being competitive that even with the smallest thing he needs to be the best.

“GD-sshi, hello.” Donghae politely gestured Jiyong to seat down. Jiyong pulled out the chair and sat down immediately. Jiyong cleared his throat but it only made the atmosphere more nerve wrecking than before. “I’m not going to beat around the bush Lee Donghae-sshi. If you have plans of pursuing Dee, you better think again because I don’t think that would be possible. Not on my watch.” Jiyong blurted out. 

“I beg your pardon GD-sshi but I don’t think you have a say on this. First of all, she broke up with you already. Second, she and I are friends long before your relationship with her. Third, don’t think so highly of yourself Kwon-sshi. I know what you did and I can’t allow that to happen again. How can you claim to love her when in fact all you do is make her cry? I think and I’m certain that she’s better off without you.” Donghae retorted.

“Don’t be so smug. No matter how much you hit on her, nothing will change. I won’t allow it.”

“I like to see you try. Thanks for the heads up GD-sshi.” With that final words, Hae stood up and left, leaving Jiyong seething and a bit perplexed.

Jiyong stood up and walk back to his car.  That piece of crap! Heol, does he think that his friendship with Dara would affect me? That’s nothing compared to what we had. Jiyong hastily drove back to YGE. He’s so angry. Not on my watch Donghae. Never.

*

Information, especially around YG, never stays stagnant.

The meeting between Jiyong and Donghae reached Dara after a few weeks. Information never stays hidden, especially this kind which involves idol from different companies. Many were speculating that the said meeting could be about an SM-YG collaboration and other said that is it just a coincidence but people close to the involved person knows exactly what it is about. And by the time it reached Dara, Jiyong was put into an interrogation.

“Ji, what was about?” Dara asked. They’re both at the rooftop, standing at the same spot the stood the last time they talked.

“What do you mean? I didn’t do anything?” Jiyong replied. He sat down and then gestured to Dara to sit down as well. Dara sat down, however, distancing herself from him. Jiyong noticed the apprehension but just shrugged it off. Dara cleared then said, “Don’t play dumb on me Ji. I don’t want to assume but knowing you, you don’t meet with people just because you want to be friends with them and if that meeting is for a collaboration then it should have been held here in YG and not somewhere else.” Dara kept a straight face, impatiently waiting for his answers.

“Okay, okay. Don’t be angry. We just talked.” Jiyong’s short answers started annoying Dara. I can’t believe this guy. He really stepping out of his boundaries and I can’t let boss around people and be a brat. “Jiyong, just because I’m talking to you again that it means that I forgive you from everything.” Dara heaved and look straight to Jiyong’s.

“I know and …” Jiyong said but Dara stopped him. “No Ji, let me finish. Hear me out, please.” Jiyong nodded back. “Ji, we’re done. And you shouldn’t be concerning yourself with this. You should just focus on yourself, your music, your friends, and family. You can’t keep on acting like my boyfriend because you’re not mine anymore and I’m not yours. You made that clear to me six months ago when you decided to be with that girl. I’m not a saint Jiyong, I hate what you did to me and it was hard for me. You have no idea. So this is me, asking you to please stop involving yourself. I’m trying my best to recover. I don’t see anything wrong with reconnecting with my old friends. I don’t think we can go back to that good-old-best-of-friends situation just yet.” she said

His words left. He could find the right words to say and all he can do is to nod his head. There was a dead silence and it took him a while before he could muster his reply. “Dara, I know I’ve been a jerk and stupid. I hurt you and didn’t care for you enough. And it took me a while to realize all those but I love you. Just keeping those words to myself is enough to kill me. I don’t think I’ll ever stop caring for you Dee. It’s maddening how even just you saying my name affects me still. I’m regretting every single decision I made Dara. Why can’t I let you go Sandara?” That confession astounded Dara and it seems like she couldn’t process all those words that came out of Jiyong’s mouth.

“What the hell, Kwon Jiyong! Six months? It took you that long to realize all those. And you think saying that you love me will change what I feel right now? No Ji, it’s too late for that. I can’t believe you. Can you hear yourself? You just proved how selfish you still are. Jiyong, grow the hell up. Not everything’s about you.” Then she hurriedly walked out leaving Jiyong lost more than ever.

*

Jiyong feels emptier than usual and he knows that no matter how much alcohol he drinks it won’t be enough. No amount of liquor could actually fill in the emptiness that he feels at the moment. He feels so lost more than ever. Memories of him and Dara flashes right in front of him and it is driving him insane.

‘I just want to go back to those days. I can’t believe that I once have her in my arms but I screwed up so bad. I let her drift away from me and I wasn’t able to save what’s left of us. I don’t know how to go on from this.’

Jiyong picked up the half-full bottle of soju and gulped in the remaining contents of the bottle. He picked up the pen lying on the floor and took the paper on the coffee table in front of him and started scribbling down his thoughts in hopes to lessen the heaviness that he feels inside.

I know that it’s difficult and hard to come back to me

I know that you no longer want to get hurt and you’re afraid

Even the day you left I made you cry with harsh words

And I turned my back on you and I’m sorry

Now I can’t believe your heart that says

 this is the last time, the end

I can’t let go because you never know

There won’t be another love like yours, like mine to you

Nobody knows

Memories of her came crashing into him like waves. It hits him hard again and again. It frustrates him that each one is precious and painful at the same time that he can’t decide whether to relive or forget those moments.

[5 years ago]

Jiyong is bothered. So bothered that he’s having a very hard time ignoring it, ignoring her. The original plan was to ignore his curiosity until it fades away but now it’s really hard for him to do so. The more he tries to ignore, the more he notices her and he can’t believe that even the simplest thing that she does bothers him.

 ‘Why the am I so bothered by her mere presence? This is really getting annoying and counterproductive.’

Jiyong and the rest of Bigbang and 2NE1 are all in the conference room for a meeting. They’re discussing the upcoming tours that they’re having. Everyone’s listening and sharing inputs with regards to the production and concepts except for Jiyong for he can’t seem to put his hundred percent attention to the said agenda. His bothered by the girl sitting in front of him.

 “GD, are you with us? GD”, one of the production team leaders asked him but he failed to hear him. “GD? GD?”, he once again asked finally getting Jiyong’s attention.

He apologized and he heard a soft chuckle from her then everyone started looking at him and he felt embarrassed immediately so he directed his eyes away from them “M-mian, I’m just thinking. I didn’t realize I spaced out.”,.

“It’s okay, we’re just asking you if you have any other thoughts with regards to the whole sequence.”

Jiyong gave his inputs and the team discussed further. Minutes later and the meeting ended and everyone went back to their respective schedules and appointments.

“Dara unnie! Are you going to the dance studio right away?” His ears ring upon hearing her name. He can’t understand why he feels like his interested hearing all those.

“Not yet Minzi-ah, I have to talk to Jjangme first then I go there,” Dara replied

Jiyong continued listening to their conversation until they part ways and their voices started to fade as they got farther from him. He realized what he just did and that annoyed him. ‘What the heck is wrong with me? I should just ignore this and perhaps this will eventually disappear.’

But what he thought was wrong. He got bothered even more as the days went by and now he can’t understand what he’s feeling anymore. The only thing that he is sure of is that he is REALLY bothered.

Everyone’s busy at YG. Idols follow certain schedules each day and even though they are a group they don’t get to see each other every day. That’s why Jiyong’s wondering how come he always sees her. Sometimes in the hallway or sometimes in the studio or in the cafeteria. And the fact this is always happening made his prediction incorrect.

This whole getting bothered thing scares him and angers him at the same time. He’s getting impatient on finding some kind of solution to his “problem”. He distracted himself with work and promotions. It somehow worked but only for a while. He suddenly found himself thinking about her and wondering how she is on his idle moments. ‘Maybe I’m having a crush. This is actually pretty normal. I should stop overthinking and play it cool. Perhaps the reason why I’m this bothered is that I’m overthinking it.’ Jiyong tried to rationalize his actions to calm himself.

That night he stayed a bit late in the studio. He got so engrossed with songwriting that he didn’t notice the time. He felt elated and excited to produce the new songs. He thought of asking Teddy’s opinion once he finished the demos. Feeling contented, he took his jacket and keys and decided to go home. He walked out of the studio and towards the elevator. He was about to step inside the elevator when he noticed that the lights in the far end room are still on. He looked down at his watch and read the time.

‘It’s already 11 pm, someone’s still practicing?’ He wondered.

The door of the elevator closed and so he walked towards the dance studio. As he got nearer, the music got louder. ‘Hmm, haven’t heard of this song.’ He walked towards he half-opened door to see who’s inside the studio. A familiar figure is dancing and his heart started beating fast that instant.

‘I’m in trouble.’

He watched her sway and move with her eyes closed. She seemed to be lost in the music and in her own world that it is almost painful to watch. He cursed underneath his breath. He felt guilt creep on him. Watching Dara dance freely and ily with the music without her knowing is very shameful of him and almost the same as committing a crime. But he can’t stop himself. He can’t look away. Another song played after the first one and she continued swaying, moving her body slowly and following the rhythm of the music.

She looks so wonderful as she gets lost in her own world. She moved her hips to the left ever so gracefully and to right. The song is just so y that she can’t herself but follow. She feels so free and light that she can’t help but smile with her eyes closed. And this sight made it hard to for Jiyong to look away. ‘The , she’s smiling. Why is smiling? What is she thinking about? She looks so ing y.’  The longer he stares, the more nervous he feels.

‘I…I should go; I should leave this place before I do something stupid.’

With all his will he walked away and hurriedly left the building. Hands on his chest, he realized how in a deep trouble he is in. That small inkling feeling grew so quick and lingered that it is consuming him already.

‘What the hell are you doing to me, Dara?’

***

[ see you on the next update ]