Do you ever have that feeling that the day is just going to be bad? You wake up and get out of bed thinking, "Man, today is not going to be a good day." There's no particular reason you think the day isn't going to go well, and you have no proof either; the day had barely started. I woke up from what seemed like a sleepless night. 


"Hyemi?" A small voice called for me. I stirred in my bed at the voice but I dismissed it. "Hyemi, are you asleep?" A slight groan escaped me in frustration at the question. Not anymore. 
"No...what's wrong Hyerin?" I asked without shifting in my spot, not wanting to lose the warmth I had already surrounded myself in. Hyerin didn't say anything for a moment and I almost fell back asleep. But she spoke again. 
"I can't sleep. Can we talk a little bit?" I heard myself sigh deeply. Out of fatigue or annoyance I couldn't really tell (not that it mattered either which way.) 
"What do you want to talk about?" This time I turned to the other side of my back to face my younger sister. I tried to open my eyes to look at her but even task was difficult; I was only able to squint my eyes when I looked at her. From what I could tell she was sitting crossed-legged on her bed with her blanked covering her lap. It was midnight. I hummed weakly to urge her to start some conversation. Hyerin hesitated a bit before saying anything. 

"Do you know anything about boys?" She said in almost a whisper. Maybe it was just my sleepy eyes, crust and all, disorienting my vision, but I thought I saw Hyerin tug on the edge of her blanket when she brought up the topic. I tried to sigh as softly as I could so that she wouldn't notice my dejection, but I couldn't tell how well I did.
"Aww, does little Hyerin have a crush on someone?" I in a kinder tone. She shifted more in her bed and I heard her telling me to shut up. Which I didn't mind considering I wanted to sleep. 
"No." She said quickly, "I just want to know about them, like, when I do have a crush on someone..." Her voice trailed off at the end of her sentence. I tried to think of something insightful, helpful, or anything significant regarding the matter. But I couldn't; I honestly didn't know anything about guys at all. 

"Um...I would help you, but I don't really know anything either."
I admitted. Saying the words out loud made me feel kind of stupid. My little sister was, for the first time, reaching out to me in her time of emotional need and I couldn't help her at all. I felt like an incompetent unnie. (Even though Hyerin wasn't exactly a caring dongsaeng either.) Hyerin grumbled angrily and covered herself under her own blanket again. The action made me feel more guilty. 

"But you talk to lots of guys unnie!" Hyerin whined in her sheets. She shuffled around and I just knew she was folding her arms like a brat on the other side. I almost laughed at her accusation. I wondered if that's what she thought I was doing whenever I went out. When in reality I was actually just with Jaehwa or my neighbor Chaerin. 

"That's funny Hyerin, but I don't hang out with any guys." I giggled and turned the opposite side as well and closed my eyes. There was a silence between the two of us that was very soothing. I was about to drift into sleep. 

"But...that Jungkook guy. He likes you." 

My eyes shot open at her words. I almost sat up from my bed out of instinct, but I just pulled my blanket further up my face as if covering up my true emotions. My face was burning. 

"What are you talking about? He came over to do a project." Hyerin hummed on the other side, probably realizing her mistake. 
"But...he looked...agh never mind. I don't know anything anyways so I'm probably wrong." Hyerin said. 
"Uh, yeah." I said. Hyerin didn't say anything for a while that I had to turn to see if she was awake. There was no movement on her bed except for her steady breathing causing her body to move up and down. She'd fallen asleep. I sighed a short breath of relief and tucked myself back in my bed. But I wasn't cold anymore, actually I felt hot. So I only put the blanket up half way to over my stomach. 

I stared at the ceiling of the room, not feeling too sleepy anymore. My eyes were no longer heavy and my heart was barely starting to slow it's pace. I didn't fall back asleep until 1:30 a.m that morning.



I practically dragged myself to school the following morning. No one was in my house to drive me. There was no milk left for what cereal I had left in the pantry. And Hyerin had already disappeared for school without so much as a goodbye for me. You'd think after I helped her (to some extent) last night she'd show some thanks instead of finishing the last of the milk...

When I arrived at school it was already too bright for my liking. I never really liked the sun. I mean, I liked it, considering I need it to stay alive, but I don't like how hot it is, how it burns my skin, and how it gets me tanner and tanner the more I go around under its scorching beams. I made my way to the breakfast line to get some milk into my body. If I didn't have milk every morning, not only did I have this empty pit in my stomach that needed its nourishment but I also get cranky when I don't have any. 

As if the universe was against me today, there was no milk. Just concentrated orange juice. I took it anyway with my bread from the lady and left feeling bitter. When the bell for my first class rang I threw away my trash and went to class. 

By the first break of the school day I was already almost caught dozing off. Luckily when it was time for break, I was ready to leave. But even when the bell rang our teacher didn't give is the okay to leave. 

"Wait wait everyone this part is important!" The class sighed and deflated in their seats after eagerly strapping their backpacks onto their backs. I breathed in a deep breath as I tried to keep my patience. Finally she let us out and there was a smooth traffic flow out the door. I fast walked to the small orange tree right in front of Jaehwa's locker where I met her every day during this time. She was waiting patiently with a cookie in her hand and....milk!

"You're out late." My friend pointed out. My eyebrows jerked up at her notice and I found myself staring at her milk. As if reading my mind, she handed it out to me with a pleased smile on her face.
"I got it for you. Looks like you need it, too." 
"I love you Jojo." I said while taking the carton, opening it up, and chugging it down. I sighed a refreshing "ah" feeling more energized than I was earlier. 

"What's up?" The two of us walked around for the remainder of the break discussing the horrible day I was having so far. From a restless night to an inadequate breakfast and to the point of me dozing off in all the classes I've had so far. Did I mention how tired I was? Soon the bell rang and so did our conversation. 

One more class to deal with until lunch. Oh how I anticipated that time. I waited in my seat hoping the teacher would start teaching soon. The sooner class started the sooner I can go to lunch. My illusion of course. I just hoped Jimin would find the will to spare me of his annoyances today because I was definitely not in the mood nor did I have the energy to bicker with him. 

I spoke too soon. My bad luck streak was incomparable today. Jimin walked right by my desk the same moment the bell rang and snatched my homework away with him. I was about to get up and take it back but the teacher got up and started to take roll. His rule of being in your seat by the time he took roll or else you'd be late had never been so inconvenient for me until now. I looked back at Jimin. He sat smugly in his seat waving my paper in front of his face. I narrowed my eyes at him and mouthed some unlady like words. He only laughed, revealing his crescent shaped eyes and sparkly white teeth. He pulled out a pencil and fresh sheet of paper. Jimin pointed the pencil from my complete paper to his blank one then nodded at me. He put my paper down and started writing. Now I was furious. He was copying my homework. Without my permission! Even if he did ask politely (ha, Jimin being polite) I would never in a million years let him walk over me like that. 

The teacher called each of us row by row to get our homework stamped. I had to wait until Jimin's row was called to get my homework checked because he had mine; and Jimin's row was last. When that row was finally called Jimin waved the paper in front of me with his delicate index finger like he was holding a bug by its wings. I took it from his grasp not forgetting to glare at him. He didn't react and just kept his place in line. I was tempted to tell my teacher about what he did right when I reached the front until Jimin walked by. 

"Say anything and so will I." He commented quietly before going back to his seat. I breathed in then out, hot air coming from my nostrils. I forced a smile to my teacher before going back to my seat. I had to keep calm the remainder of the class period. I didn't notice until later that my hands had been on my desk clawing at the plastic surface. I immediately stopped and focused on what was going on in class to the best of my ability. I begged for lunch to come sooner. 

Class ended and I was out the door first. I waited outside the gates that separated the parking lot from the portable classes for Jaehwa to come out. When she did I hooked my arm into hers and urged her to hurry to the lunch lines. When we reached I let her go and rested my back on the railings in the lines. 

"You alright?" Jaehwa asked with confusion on her face and concern in her voice. 
"No." I said bluntly. "I swear I want to just stab something right now. Preferably Park Jimin." I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. 
"Whoa, calm down. What did he do this time?" Jaehwa's hand on my shoulder let me realize I was practically steaming and calmed me little by little. 
"What hasn't he done? He stole my homework today and copied it and he threatens me every chance he gets about spilling my feelings about Jung-" I paused in my ranting when I almost said his name out loud. "About Kookie." I replaced the name. "Every freaking day he has to do something that pisses me off and then he uses that excuse like he can get away with anything. I'm sick of him walking all over me!" Jaehwa motioned for me to move up line. 

"Then don't. Just ignore him. He's probably all talk anyway." Jaehwa said. It wasn't an option I haven't thought of to be honest. And I've been doing that this whole time, but today I was not in the mood. I grabbed my lunch and didn't mention anything else on the matter. On my way to the table I spotted Jimin sitting happily in his seat chatting amongst the gang. Just the sight of him lighthearted and in a good mood made me want to explode. Jaehwa caught up to me and nudged me ever so slightly. I looked at her and she shot me a soft, warning look. I furrowed my eyebrows at her and we parted ways. Jungkook was already in his spot leaving a gap between him and Taehyung. I bit the inside of my lip and kept the warning in mind. Calm down Hyemi. 

Taehyung greeted me with a cute smile, his mouth too occupied with food to say anything. Everyone else waved my way and Jungkook scooted over for me to sit more comfortably. Lunch was surprising pleasant for the duration of the time. I almost forgot that Jimin was sitting across from me giving me a few looks every now and then. 

Later Jimin brought something up about going to a party over the weekend. Naturally he invited all his friends and Jaehwa, too, since she was with Yoongi. Jaehwa declined politely but thanked him for the invite. I thought I saw Yoongi chuckle next to her but I don't know why. Apparently neither did Jaehwa because she gave him a questioning look. The exchange was irrelevant so everyone waved it off.

"Did you want to come Hyemi?" Taehyung turned to me and nudged my arm. My eyes shifted to the people around me before I answered. 
"Ah, no it's okay. I'm busy this weekend." Taehyung whined next to me earning a "shut up" from Jin. I smiled a little at their usual bickering. Jungkook was quiet about the matter. 

"Busy writing love letters?" Jimin commented on the other side. My teeth were close to grinding themselves to dust by firsthand embarrassment. Thankfully no one knew what he was talking about and ignored him. "C'mon, as if you have anywhere to go over the weekend. You don't even have any friends. Well, besides Jaehwa, me, and the rest of us. Even then, she's the one who brought you here in the first place." I was speechless for half a second and I saw Jaehwa lean over warning Jimin. 

"Yah, Park Jimin-" she started before I was up on my feet to interrupt. 
"You think I just follow Jaehwa around? Do you think you're so cool that I come to sit at this table everyday because you're here? Did you ever think that I might get sick of your annoying comments, your voice, or your face? Because right about now, I am." 

The table was dead silent. Even Jimin who previously wore an incredulous smirk on his face was staring at me utterly dumbfounded. His smirk had fallen to an expressionless frown, not sad but not angry either. The air around us was heavy to the point of suffocation. My head started to get dizzy. I quickly left the scene without another word. Without caring about the looks I got, I fast walked to the closest bathroom with my hand clasping my forehead. I felt like I was going to throw up. I locked myself into the first stall I got to and hung my head over the toilet with my hand around my stomach. Nothing came out but I was still woozy. The bell rang for class and I dismissed it. I heard the other girls in the restroom leave while I stayed standing against the door waiting for my head to settle. 

Soon the swirls in my vision disappeared and I left the restroom only to go to the nurse's office instead to lie down. The nurse reluctantly let me lie down until I felt better. She asked me if I wanted to call my mom or anyone at home. Even if I did, no one would pick up because no one was home. 

I closed my eyes to relax. Behind my eyelids I thought about what happened back there. I had completely lost it. Worse than ever before. It was a bomb inside me waiting to explode finally reached its limit and when it exploded, it exerted all my energy, making me dizzy and want to throw up. I remembered all the words I said, all the faces that looked at me when I let it out, and one particular person's face. Park Jimin's. The way his eyes were dark and empty. The way his mouth fell from a bright, joking smile, to a guilty, regretful frown. My stomach flipped inside me when I thought of it. What made it worse was that now I felt guilty. I regretted putting him on the spot. I felt guilty for making his smile fade. I pressed my eyelids shut right against each other, seeing the swirls again. 

I needed to talk to Jaehwa.