I am restless. My eyes have been closed for God knows how long but sleep doesn't find me. I just can't seem to move on from the fact that in just a few hours, I'm leaving this place.

I'm going home. 

I turn to the other side of the bed only to feel some movement around me and when I flutter my eyes open, a lean but hard rear of a man marred with scars greets my view.

He was rolling a bandage around his waist and his muscles tightens and loosens in each move. Damn it. Why is it suddenly so hot in here? I want to turn away but then something catches my attention. My eyes zooms in to the glimmering golden chain around his neck and I have to close my hands into fists just to refrain myself from reaching out to it. The pendant! Seungri said it's a bit similar to mine and I am itching to get a glimpse of it.

I take a deep breath, but before I can even push myself up, he abruptly stops moving and turns his head a bit to the side.

"Go back to sleep," he startles me with his low and controlled voice and I clutch the fabric against my chest in surprise. How the hell did he know I'm awake? I shut my eyes close once more, wanting not to give him the satisfaction of proving himself right.

"I know you're awake," he says and I try to even out my breathing though I know it's really impossible to do so.

"Don't play games with me, temptress. You know you are always at the losing end." I can imagine his Cheshire grin by the way he speaks but I decided to keep my eyes shut 

PLAY DEAD, DARA. 

PLAY DEAD– !

I almost shuddered when I felt something warm blowing against my lips. It is so familiar– the smell of tobacco, mint and vanilla... I am swooning. The bed dips beside me and I feel like all the hairs in my body just start to rise. What is wrong with me?

"What should I do to our sleeping beauty here?" he chuckles and I feel my heart started to do backflips and cartwheels and tumblings. I tried to normalize my breathing once more. Damn bastard always loves to tease me!

"I didn't know someone asleep can blush," I can feel his thumb brushing against my cheek and I flinch at each contact.

"Wow... Even flinches," he started to laugh a laughter that I have never heard before. I am annoyed. Pissed, even. But there's something about his laughter that I find genuine.

And somehow, it sounds more like music to my ears.

But soon, the music stops... And a moment of silence passes by before a whisper of a devil in my ear.

"If you don't admit you're awake, I am going to forget you're a and you real quick and hard. Right here. Right now."

My eyes quickly widen and I shoot up straight from the bed! What the hell? Did he just say that?

"HOW DARE YOU! GET LOST! GO TO HELL!" I scream as I gather the blanket around me. Oh I can use my taekwondo moves on him but do I even have a chance? 

I'm barely breathing right now!

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he sits on the edge of the bed and asks me casually, trying to suppress his grin.

BECAUSE YOU JUST THREATENED TO ME, YOU SON OF A ! My mind wants to shout at him.

"I mean, you weren't sleeping," he says as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Now that's a different thing. I couldn't sleep because... Because...

"You were fantasising."

"What???"

"I can tell by the way you look at my body."

I gawk at him but mentally kick myself when I realize I really was staring –not at his body! But at his necklace.

"Excuse me! But you are just so full of yourself! 

"I'm just aware of it." he shrugs and stands up from bed.

"W-w-where did you get that necklace?" I finally manage to ask. It's been bothering me for quite a while now and now that he's wearing it, my curiosity about it becomes stronger.

"It's none of your business." he grabs a shirt and wears it on, covering my view of the round pendant..

"You've seen mine. Is it the same? Aren't you even wondering why it's the same? I mean exactly the same as yours? Seungri said..."

"That blabbermouth..." he squints his eyes and I regret mentioning Seungri's name for a moment. 

"W-w-wait! You're not planning to hurt him, are you?"

He eyes me with amusenent and he tilts his head. "And what is it to you if I punish the kid?"

"Don't! Just don't!"

"You seem so fond of that rascal,"

"He's... He's a good guy... I think so," I turn away from him. His back to being his serious, intimidating self and I can't handle his stare. 

"What made you trust him? You barely know him."

"I can see something good in his eyes. Even in Youngbae's."

"Youngbae hurt you,"

"He explained himself. And I understand,"

He pauses for a moment and I think hesitation flashes on his face. He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something but closes it again.

"I think you're nice too," I don't know where I find the courage to spit those words out but I immediately wish I used my head a bit. He gives me that confused look and I find myself confused at the moment too.

Did I just say he's nice? 

"You find me... Nice..." he says in an amused tone which left me confused if it was a statement or a question. I blink away at him.

"Before you violated me, that is!" I blurt out the truth. There,  I said it. 

I felt violated.

But I felt being taken cared of at the same time. I felt secured... I felt safe... I felt like entrusting my whole body to him that time and if it's called trust then I am doomed.

Trust can be lethal. 

I wanted to kick myself. Damn. I need a doctor's advise on this. I'm turning into a lunatic.

"Violated..." he murmurs the word which made me turn to him.

"That's how I felt when you barged in our place, using one of my men. Violated. Trespassed..." he continues before standing up. Heat crawls up my cheeks. I have to admit, he's right. And I am so stupid for not using my head. We violated each other.

Me, his own space, and he... My body.

He shakes his head and grabs his black coat before going towards the door.

"Go back to sleep, Ms. Violated," he turns to me for a moment. I look at him in search for any trace of humor or sarcasm but I find nothing.

"W-w-here are you going?" I dare ask.

"None of your business." he says and he's back to being his cold, unpredictable self. The door opens then slams shut and in no time I find myself alone in his room again.

*******

The morning comes and I indulge myself in a refreshing bath. I realize Mr. Violated prepared a clean shirt for me earlier, along with the pants I wore that night I came here uninvited. I am relieved he wasn't here when I got up earlier but deep inside and until now, I am wondering where he is.

"Sandara? Sandara?"

I shake my head as I run out of the bathroom. I am brushing my teeth and Seungri doesn't stop knocking. I furrow my brows. Where can you find abductors knocking on your door to ask you permission if they can come in? Well, Jiyong is a different matter. But I turn on my heels when Seungri volumes up his voice, calling out for me. I need to stop him calling me my whole name. Only dad calls me that way.

"Sandara! Can I come in? Sanda–"

"Noona. Noona will do." I open the door and cover my bubble-filled mouth.

"Ouch. Bro-zoned," Youngbae is behind Seungri and I still can't move on over the fact that this man smiling before me is the same man that treated me like I'm his worst enemy.

Seungri nudges Youngbae and the two starts another round of bantering. I open the door wider and take that chance to rinse my mouth while the two are still engaged in a fight.

"WHY? DO YOU LIKE JIYONG HYUNG BETTER NOW? DON'T TRUST HIM!!! HE HAS A WHOLE PACK OF BACK IN THE LAIR AND YOUR SKINNY BODY DOESN'T EVEN STAND A CHANCE AGAINST THEM– UMPPPPPHHH!!!"

I instantly spit out the water in my mouth, sending it out like a spray gun and I cough while I choke at it. What the hell?

I dry my lips with the towel and march out of the bathroom only to be greeted by a sulking Seungri. He is seated on the edge of the bed while Youngbae is still laughing at the boy's state.

"What did I just hear your say?"

"I knew it. It's always been like this. He gets to have all the pretty girls."

"Yah, leave the woman alone, rat." Youngbae slaps the boy and I stand with so much question inside my head. 

Why is Seungri being so sensitive? Did I say something wrong?

And what does Jiyong have to do with this?

Realization hits me.

Holy ! Did Jiyong tell them about our little deed inside the bathroom? My cheeks grow warm. I need to explain myself!!!

"But it's okay... You are going to leave anyway..." Seungri stands up to face me before I can even open my mouth. "You are going to forget us anyway... Right?" he said before leaving the room with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Wait, Seungri!" I am about to follow him out of the room but Youngbae grips my arm and my initial reaction is to pull away quickly. 

"Sorry... But, I think you just have to let him be. He's just being emotional. Forget about what he said. Well, you will, eventually." he explains and I nod,  though I start to feel a certain kind of loneliness inside me.

I hug myself, rubbing my arms as I nod. I'm going home. I should be happy, right?

"We just came here to tell you that we are leaving in a few minutes,"

In a few minutes??? I gape at him. We're leaving and what's going to happen next?

We're leaving and Seungri's having his tantrums.

We're leaving and...

"Where's Jiyong?" I ask all so suddenly before I can even think that even Youngbae is surprised at the moment. I can't blame him. I am in utmost shock too because my head seems not to be functioning!

Youngbae studies me for a moment before he finally answers. "He's not going with us. He headed back to the Lair earlier,"

I don't get it. I don't get why I am feeling this way right now. Why? Why isn't he going with us? 

"Someone from your department will pick you up when we reach the barriers. Just... Just come out when you're ready. We are going to blindfold you,"

Youngbae turns around to leave but I can't just move my body. I should be happy. I should feel relieved. I am going home. Home. 

And soon I'll forget about them.

"W-wait!" I try to move my feet but I can't. Youngbae turns to me with his brows arched.

"Yes?"

"Can... Can I have a pen and some sheets of paper?"

Youngbae hesitates for a moment but goes out and comes back with a pen and some paper nonetheless. I thank him and he leaves me alone and I start to write down the things that mattered to me in this experience.

YOUNGBAE. 

SEUNGRI.

JIYONG.

THE AIDS... THE LAIR.

*********

"Let's go. Rat, blindfold her," Youngbae says before he darts out of the house. Seungri hesitantly moves behind me but I stop  him.

"W-wait... Seungri..." I whisper while pulling out a note from my pocket. "I might forget but... When did you say your wedding's going to be?"

"Not wedding. More like arranged engagement. Why?"

"Here..." I hand him the note and his eyes widens as soon as he reads the note.

"You're still fulfilling your promise to take me out? "

"I... I just thought I got... I got my necklace all thanks to you. So I need to do my part of the deal too... Right?"

He purses his lips but a smile start to spread across his face and soon the boy is grinning.

"We just have to be more careful next time, right?"

"Yes and... In case I forget..." a lump starts to form in my throat. "In case I forget, you just have to show me that note. It's like a pass, you know. A ticket. The other half... Here. It's with me."

"Awesome!" Seungri grins even wider and I wanted to smile too. But I find it so hard.

"Bye Seungri. Until we meet again."

Seungri nods and turns me around by my shoulders. "Bye Sandara... I mean... Noona,"

And soon, the blindfold appears before me and I close my eyes.

This is it.

This is goodbye.

I turn to the direction of the room where I spent almost all my days here. When is Jiyong coming back? Damn jerk. Maybe he's back in the arms of his right now. So much for being a head of a group. He can do whatever he wants while s live under his order.

Damn jerk. I want to go back and get the letter I left on his bed an