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I brush away the hair on his face and kiss the tip of his nose lightly. He instantly wraps his arms around me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I smile at how he suddenly murmurs incoherent things. He scrunches his nose and heaves a sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's always nice to wake up with Kwon Jiyong beside me. After those days of uncertainty... Finally,  he's here beside me. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I trace the forming stubbles on his chin down to the bruises on his face and I feel a sudden pinch deep inside. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun was the cause of these bruises and scrapes but how do I blame him? He was hurt too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recall the details Kwon Jiyong told me last night. 

 

 

 

 

 

Seunghyun had a wife. Maybe those were the times when I and CL were assigned in Ulsan. We rarely had communication with him, although back in the academy and training grounds I know he was pursuing another girl. It must be Park Bom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And they had a child. I sighed in frustration. Seunghyun must know but it's not as if I can tell it to him. Jiyong trusted me to keep my mouth shut. I earned his trust, I would not risk losing that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I remember Dongwook said Dr. Park picked the lair. Could I be right?  Maybe, Dr. Park Bom was pregnant already when she left. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am startled when I feel a poke on my cheek. I look down at Kwon Jiyong and he smiles sleepily at me.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh that smile. I kiss his cheek.

 

 

 

 

 

"Good morning... " I lay my head on his chest. I feel him comb my hair and he seems still really sleepy.

 

 

 

 

 

"You stayed up late, didn't you?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Hmmm."

 

 

 

 

 

"Why?" I ask. Oh don't tell me he went out when I was sleeping too see the girl at the front pub.

 

 

 

 

 

"I watched you over night. You were talking in your sleep."

 

 

 

 

"I was talking..." I clamp my mouth. What did I say this time? 

 

 

 

 

 

"You said: "Come here... Make love to me."

 

 

 

 

 

"Yah!" I push myself up and scowl at him and he grins before pulling my head back down.

 

 

 

 

 

"Why are you up already?" he asks in a low hushed voice.

 

 

 

 

 

"It was a bit too cold..."

 

 

 

 

 

"Even when I'm beside you?"

 

 

 

 

 

I look at him. His eyes are still closed and he looks so gentle like this. His question seem normal... But, Oh... My thoughts are running wild. I grin. Should I a bit?

 

 

 

 

 

"Yes. Even when you're here beside me."

 

 

 

 

 

He snaps his eyes open and he frowns at me. "How do you feel? Are you alright?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head. "I don't feel so good. Maybe you can think of better ways to keep me warm."

 

 

 

 

 

 

A smug grin. He gives me a smug grin and rolls us down so he's on top of me. He nuzzles the tip of my nose with his and leaves a chaste kiss on my lips. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you even aware where your tempting words might take you? "

 

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head and bite my lip to suppress my grin. "Maybe you can give me some idea?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

He shakes his head while chuckling. He tugs my lips apart with his thumb and I bite it and on it.  He closes his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You sure know how to wake a man up, temptress."

 

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head and scowl at him. I kiss the pad of his thumb once more and pull him down to me so that his weight is all on me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You said it yourself before. Or you have already forgotten I'm a curious woman?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Sandara, your wound."

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm fine."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You want me this much? How bold."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well if you're turning down the offer, should I try waking another man up?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't you dare." he squints his eyes at me and I burst into a loud laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Can I say something before you kiss me?" his eyes narrows and he wonders for a moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How sure are you I'm going to kiss you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bite my lip and move his hair so I can see his eyes. He raises his brows and I cup his face. Deep inside, my mind and head is in turmoil. Should I tell him?  Should I not?

 

 

 

 

 

"I love you." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there goes those three words flying out of my mouth in no time. I look at him straight into his eyes, and he seems confused for a moment. I smile at him while I marvel at his face. It won't be too impossible. I might have really fallen for this man long time ago.

 

 

 

 

 

"Kwon Jiyong, I love you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sandara... You... I... What... I'm..."

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it..." I cut him off. He looks so surprised and shocked that he can't even form a word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I love you,  whether you believe it or not. I lived for days in regret for leaving you without even trying to understand you. But this time,  I'm sure. I'm not going to ask you what we are or how you feel. I'm not even sure if I'm allowed to feel this but please just let me be."

 

 

 

 

 

"Y-you don't know what you're talking about."

 

 

 

 

 

"You're right. I really don't know. But I feel it. I do."

 

 

 

 

 

He kisses my forehead and I instantly close my eyes as I hug him. I feel him run his fingers through my hair and he caresses my face and when I open my eyes he is still watching me with amazement, in disbelief perhaps. 

 

 

 

 

 

And my heart flutters whenever he looks at me like this.  This crazy. This confused. This lost. In me? I wish. 

 

 

 

 

 

"I only have one thing to ask you apart from my past." I say and his brows arches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Please, help me to be strong. Make me strong. It would take a strong woman to love you and that makes me feel I'm less deserving. You know I'm weak. Just like the last time. And I don't want that to happen again. Kwon Jiyong, can you help me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

He doesn't answer. Instead I feel him pull me up with him and settle me on his lap. He cradles me in his arms and I feel him kissing my hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"God, tokki. What good did I ever do to deserve you? You are a strong woman. I'm just the wrong guy. I wish I can be the right one for you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

And there goes the tons of Why's flashing inside my head. He heaves a heavy breath and I cling onto him closer.

 

 

 

 

 

"Kwon Jiyong..."

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry. I wish I can give you more. But I've got nothing to offer. This is just me. I can't even make you happy–"

 

 

 

 

 

"Shhhh... You make me happy." I shush his lips with my finger. "I'm happy now."

 

 

 

 

 

He rests his forehead against mine and I smile at him. My hands find their way to the back of his neck and I pull him for a kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

"Let me..." I kiss  his cheeks and I tilt his face up. "Let me love you... Please?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He watches me and he sighs audibly. "Oh Jesus, Dara. What you make me feel..." he closes his eyes. And I furrow my brows upon remembering him saying they do not follow any religion. I kiss his lips. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Every new word from him is my undoing. Every new word from him is an aphrodisiac to my ears.

 

 

 

 

 

Hello. 

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry. 

 

 

 

 

Don't leave me. 

 

 

 

 

God. 

 

 

 

 

Jesus.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh good Jesus. I want him to be mine only the same way he always tells me I'm his. 

 

 

 

 

 

I kiss him hard and he stiffens for a moment but I grab his hair and pull it so I can deepen the kiss more. I feel him grip my hips and I pull away from the kiss only to meet his awaiting lips again. I dart my tongue inside his mouth and he meets mine with his eagerly. Oh his hot mouth and his delicious tongue. I feel so sinful being this bold.

 

 

 

 

 

But I want him. 

 

 

 

 

And bold is liberating. I feel so light. So free. 

 

 

 

 

Only when I'm with him. Only with him.

 

 

 

 

He pushes me a bit and kisses me once more before clipping my chin in his thumb and forefinger.

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't want to hurt you..." he caresses my bandaged left thigh and I smile against his lips.

 

 

 

 

 

"You're already hurting my feelings right now. Are you turning me down again?"

 

 

 

 

 

"No... Baby... Look– Sandara!"

 

 

 

 

 

I didn't let him finish. I push him down so that I'm on top  of him.  I peck on his lips and trailed kisses down his jaw to his ears. My heart is going to explode. I miss him and I want him. So bad. But I can't even explain my curiosity and I'm excited to see where it's going to take me. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sandara..."

 

 

 

 

 

I insert my hands into his shirt while kissing his face. I feel each and every part of his torso that tenses and calms with each of my touch. I let my mouth travel down his neck and he produces a low groan that made me want to explore more. 

 

 

 

 

 

I push his shirt up and he helps me get himself rid of it. He pulls me for a kiss and his hands start to travel down to the hem of my shirt and soon, I am feeling his warm calloused hands kneading my behind. He against me and I can already feel how hard he is. Oh I want him inside me soon but I want to touch him more. I pull away and look at him, asking for permission and I feel like a stupid teenager but who cares.

 

 

 

 

 

"Can I kiss you?"

 

 

 

 

 

I feel my cheeks burning right now. He furrows his brows and he touches my lips like he always does. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We're already kissing."

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head. I embrace him and bury my face in the crook of his neck. 

 

 

 

 

 

"I want to kiss you here..." I tell him as I touch his chest and I feel him chuckle. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Do as you please, temptress." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lift my head up and look at him. And he's still smiling. "Will you like it?"

 

 

 

 

 

"I'd love it." he kisses my forehead and I take it as a signal. I kiss his neck and the gold chain around it. I tug his necklace, our matching necklace, and look at how much it resembles mine. I smile escapes my lips. I kiss it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Destiny seems surreal, but I have it right now, with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I nuzzle his neck and he tilts his head so I can kiss him more. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're tickling me." he combs my hair. He chuckles as I lay tiny kisses on his neck but he suddenly tightens his other arm around my waist when I tasted his skin. So he likes tongue. I'll give him tongue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I start to kiss him down his chest with an open mouth and I give his left a quick that soon he's answering me back with heavenly moans. I love it when he moans. I it some more, slowly, and he looks at me while catching his breath. I move on to the other and le on his and he grinds his hard on against my already dripping wet core. Oh, I want him. 

 

 

 

 

 

But I didn't know pleasuring him would make me feel this good. 

 

 

 

 

 

I let my hands travel down his stomach and I slide a bit down so I can kiss it. He grips my hair tight. I run my tongue along his abs and I love how he tastes. And the more I hear his heavy shallow breaths, the more I want to kiss him.

 

 

 

 

 

I run my fingers on his hips and and he jerks a bit. I really find this part of him y... Especially whenever I see his jeans hanging loose on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 "I want to kiss you here, too."

 

 

 

 

 

He answered me with a sigh and I take it as a yes. I kiss his waist down his hips, running my tongue along his packed but smooth skin. 

 

 

 

 

My hands find their way down to his jeans, touching his growing bulge and he hisses in response. I look at him and his eyes are closed and he's biting his lip. My curiosity rises. Carefully, I lay gentle pecks on his still covered hard on and he grabs my hair.

 

 

 

 

 

"Enough..." he growls but I know he doesn't mean it. Maybe I can give him some more. I and his fly and he grips my hair tighter that I almost wince in pain.

 

 

 

 

 

"Tokki, enough. Stop."

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head and watch his face contort as I touch him with his boxers still on. Am I hurting him.  ! Maybe I did it wrong?

 

 

 

 

I am still deliberating deep inside on what to do next but it's not like I can back out now, right?

 

 

 

 

 

But before I can even further go on, Kwon Jiyong suddenly sits up and pulls me up to him, hauling the blanket over our bodies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is wrong?

 

 

 

 

 

 

" you,  rat! I know you're there!"

 

 

 

 

 

My eyes widen in shock. ! Seungri was eavesdropping all along?

 

 

 

 

 

Or worse... ! He didn't see me do that, did he???

 

 

 

 

 

"Rat you better show yourself up or I'll throw you back to the lair and punish you there myself you er!"

 

 

 

 

 

I snuggle closer to Jiyong and he holds my head down against his chest. The door suddenly swings slowly open. I look at the direction sideways, my cheeks feeling like it's been suddenly burnt. 

 

 

 

 

 

I see a black pot, oh the pot that was used to cook the stew last night. Soon there was a foot... And a hand and not too long the pot is being lowered revealing no other than Seungri. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I shut my eyes in embarrassment. I think I just feel my soul leaving me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why you bastard–"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyung!!! Let's talk later!!! I think I'm having an upset stomach! I just need to use the bathroom! Jebaaal!"

 

 

 

 

 

I hear some rushed footsteps on the floor and a loud bang of the door. I feel so stiff in Kwon Jiyong's arms. I don't want to move.

 

 

 

 

No I will not make any move!!!

 

 

 

 

 

"Tokki... Yah... Tokki...."

 

 

 

 

 

He's trying to push me away but I am not moving a single bit! No way!

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey... Sandara..."

 

 

 

 

 

I shake my head.

 

 

 

 

 

"Aisht... I'm going to kill him. Tsk. Yah... Come on. Don't think about it."

 

 

 

 

Don't think about it?  Don't???

 

 

 

 

How do I not think about it??? 

 

 

 

 

With small stiff movements, I turn away from him and pull the blanket as I slide my way to the cornermost part of the room. I wish the earth would just swallow me right now.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sandara..."

 

 

 

 

I hauled the blanket over me, hiding myself beneath it. Why do all the most embarrassing moments in my life have to happen whenever I'm with him? 

 

 

 

 

 

"Aisht... Stop being like that. Come here." I hear him buttoning his fly and it just made me feel worse.

 

 

 

 

 

"No!" I stick to my spot. No,  I think I have mounted myself to the wall.

 

 

 

 

 

I hear Kwon Jiyong sigh. He start to pull the blanket off of me but then Youngbae's voice suddely interrupts us.

 

 

 

 

 

"Jiyong... Excuse me. Please come out for a sec."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Got it. Wait up." Kwon Jiyong answers back. I feel him touch my head and rub it as if I'm some sort of a pet he's trying to tame.

 

 

 

 

 

"I'll be back. If you want to go out, wear my coat, okay?"

 

 

 

 

Go out? Go out my I'm not moving a single inch out of here! 

 

 

 

 

But I just nod as if he can see me so he can go. I feel him kiss my head before he finally go out of the room.

 

 

 

 

 

I take a peep and keep still for a while. What's taking Seungri so long?  I just hope he'll go out quickly. What will he think of me now?  Aisht!

 

 

 

 

So much for feeding my curiosity. 

 

 

 

 

The bathroom door suddenly swings open and I quickly hide beneath the blanket. I hear a few shuffling but why is it going near me?

 

 

 

 

 

Noo! Seungri I can't face you right now! Just go!

 

 

 

 

 

"Noona... Noona!"

 

 

 

 

I stiffen when I feel him tapping me. What do I do? What do I do???

 

 

 

 

"Noona you've got a call, quick! Answer it before hyung comes back!"

 

 

 

 

Call? What call?

 

 

 

 

"It's blonde girl."

 

 

 

 

I immediately lowered my blanket. CL called?

 

 

 

 

 

Just then the phone in his hand started to blink. He quickly answers it.

 

 

 

 

 

"Hello? Yes... She's here."

 

 

 

 

 

Seungri hands me his phone and eyes me curiously. He mouths me the words "Make it fast!" as he nervously look at the door and then back at me. I nod.

 

 

 

 

 

"Chae–"

 

 

 

 

"Hey..." she sounds awkward. Hesitant rather. 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How are you doing? How do you feel?"

 

 

 

 

"I'm fine."

 

 

 

 

"Dara... I just want to apologize for last night... I'm... It's just that everything came to me as a shock. I'm worried about you. "

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't worry I'm fine. And I understand how you feel. I've been so careless. But I'm safe here. Don't worry please. I just don't know where this place is. But I'm fine."

 

 

 

 

"It's good to know that than to get nothing about you." CL sighs. She seems so down and I know her so much not to notice something's bothering her.

 

 

 

 

 

"How are you? Mrs. Hong? Seunghyun... How's Seunghyun?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Mrs. Hong seems clueless. She just keeps on insisting that we should visit you. But  we told them you're fine and that you just need some more time to stay  in the hospital. Seunghyun... He met again with General Lee. And..."

 

 

 

 

"How about you?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Dara... You see..."

 

 

 

 

 

"What? Did something happen?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Seunghyun put me on suspension."

 

 

 

 

 

"What?" I drop my mouth open. What offense did she do? "W-w-w-ait... What... You're suspended? How? Why?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Dara... I think Seunghyun already knows you've been seeing Kwon Jiyong in your apartment. And the last time... At the hospital... He knows. He said he knows about the antidote. I don't know how. But I think he's been observing us... You... For quite a while now."

 

 

 

 

 

I clamp my mouth. He didn't leave some spy cams or recorders inside my house didn't he? I cannot believe I'm hearing this.

 

 

 

 

I try to recall our conversations. He warned me though, back in the hospital. He said if I'm still seeing Kwon Jiyong then I should know he can't be trusted. No wonder he wasn't shocked at all. He wasn't surprised. Did he put some sort of recorder in my room? 

 

 

 

 

 

But why? Why would he spy on me? And now even CL is suspended because of my stupidity.

 

 

 

 

 

"But he didn't do anything to you right?"

 

 

 

 

 

"No... He was calm when he talked to me just a few hours ago. But I think there's something that's bothering him. What he did to me is like a warning. I don't know. He looks so troubled Dara. Maybe he's just covering up our offenses."

 

 

 

 

 

"No... Wait... Keep an eye on everything he does instead. Don't trust him too much. CL... I'm not that sure if he's starting to make a move now but Seunghyun clearly told me that he wants to eliminate the aids."

 

 

 

 

". He said that?"

 

 

 

 

"I can't believe this is all happening now. Remember the place we went to the last time?  Kwon Jiyong's place... They said someone trespassed it."

 

 

 

 

"You think we got followed?"

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't know. But Jiyong said Seunghyun won't do it. There's nothing wrong in being ready though. CL, you said it yourself. He met with the general once again. What if he spilled everything to the higher officers? It will be better if you keep yourself ready. Oh, CL. I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

 

 

 

 

 

"Stop. Just stop. You think I'd wish I just took the shot and forget everything? Dara... I'm not even regretting it now. I want to understand you. Why you're behaving like this. And I will never get a single step closer to helping you if I didn't take the antidote."

 

 

 

 

 

"But–"

 

 

 

 

 

"I gotta go. I'll inspect your apartment and change the door lock code. Will it be fine?"

 

 

 

 

 

"Yes... Please... And if it's possible please check our house too. I'll talk to you soon. Please be careful."

 

 

 

 

"Okay. I'll send you prepaid credits too. Seungri? Is he one who owns the phone?"

 

 

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

 

 

"Oh... He said the line got cut last night coz he's on prepaid. Don't worry. I'll do it clean. I'm not going to try tracing you." she tries to joke but I hear her laugh nervously. I sigh and clutch my hair in fru