Hey! So, because I love you, I'm doing an early update... an early DOUBLE update. Whoot whoot~. I worked hard on these chapters, so I hope you like them. At this point, things will start to get a little happier... no more collapsing or botched suicide attempts, I promise. :P Again, welcome, new subscribers~! ^^ Keep leaving those comments! Enjoy~

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Seungyoon’s POV

I was just discharged from the hospital today, and I feel so much better than I have in the past few weeks. I feel… refreshed. Everyone came to take me home, but I waved them away; I already called a company van to pick me up and take me directly to the YG building. They were all disappointed, but I needed to speak with the president immediately. I made sure to assure everyone I was fine and politely turn down their attempts to dissuade me from going. I ruffled Taehyun’s hair before they left, my way of telling him not to worry.

The doctor recommended that I take care of myself more these next few weeks, and that’s what I plan to do. I don’t want to stay long at my mom’s—I just need to be in a stress-free environment to make sure that I’m completely recharged and ready for work. This is what Youngbae and CL had proposed to me, and I thought it sounded like a good plan (of course, they were unhappy when they found out that I’d quit my position as leader). But I also need time away from Taehyun. I’m still hurting from that night we talked, and I need time to regroup and think up a new way to reach him. Of course I’m not giving up on him; in fact, that night showed me that he needed me to not give up on him. I will not stop until we are okay again, that’s all I want.

Well, not all I want, but you know…

Anyways, the point is that being away from the dorm for a bit would be good for me. I need to rest and just think. I hope the president sees that…

When I arrive at the YG building, I make my way up to YG’s office with determination. I’m doing the right thing this time, I’m sure of it. No more mistakes. I reach his office and his secretary greets me. “Oh, Seungyoon-ssi! You can go right in, I don’t think he’ll mind.” I nod and thank her, knocking on the door and waiting. “Come in,” I hear, and I enter.

YG looks up from whatever he was looking at on his desk and immediately pushes it away. He laces his hands together and nods for me to sit in the chair opposite him. I do. He clears his throat and looks at me a long while before speaking.

“Well? How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you, sajangnim,” I say, looking down at my hands.

“Good… that’s very good.” He leans back in his chair. “I trust you’ll be taking good care of yourself from now on?”

“Yes, sir.” Then I swallow. “Actually, that’s what I came here to talk to you about…”

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Oh?”

I press on. “The doctor said that I should take it easy for a while, and I thought it’d be a good idea for me to rest at my mother’s for a bit.”

The president pursed his lips. He didn’t like the sound of that. “Hm,” was his answer.

“I came to ask your permission, sir.” I lift my head up to look at him properly.

He’s contemplating something really hard, squinting at me for a long time. After what feels like an eternity, he says, “Fine. But don’t be gone too long.” He looked back at his paperwork. “I trust you know how long too long is…?”

I nod emphatically. “Yes sir, I’ll be back as soon as possible.” I stand up and bow. “Thank you, Mr. Yang.”

His eyes flick towards me before settling back on his papers. “Is the stress getting to you, Seungyoon-ah?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I hope you’re able to cope with it soon.”

I bow again. “Of course, me too. Thank you again!” I haul out of there and nearly run back to the company car. Sometimes, it’s creepy how he looks at you like he knows all of your secrets. I feel bad for keeping my resignation from him, but I don’t want to tell him just yet. It’d make everything too real, and I guess I’m not ready for that yet.

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I’ve come back to collect my clothes. I’m trying not to lag since my mom is expecting me for dinner, but I can’t help my habits. I meticulously pick out each and every article of clothing I want to pack even though I’m not going anywhere special. It’s just in my nature to want to look good and plan out my outfits to the last detail.

When I’m all done, I’m an hour behind schedule, but it’s alright. I can forgo arriving early. I drag my bags out to the living room to see everyone (except a certain maknae… *sigh*) sitting around the table. I raise an eyebrow at them in confusion and Seunghoon stands up and walks into the kitchen. He comes back out with an American style breakfast, and I drool. He must have picked up on how much I liked it last time. I tear my gaze from the food and settle it on my members. Seunghoon is the one who approaches me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

“We just wanted to eat with you one last time before you left.” He smiled then. “You know, since we don’t know when you’ll be back…” His smile drooped a little, but he shook it off and led me to the table, sitting me down in front of a feast.

“Thank goodness you showed up finally,” Minho whined. “That food was looking damn good and I wanted to eat it! But we had to wait on you, who was probably modeling the next few weeks’ outfits in front of the mirror!” I blush bright red because that was exactly what I had been doing. Laughter erupts all around the table as we eat.

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Taehyun’s POV

Curled up in a ball under my covers, I’m listening to all the commotion in the dining room and wishing I was in there. But I’m still too much of a coward… I just can’t say goodbye.

I don’t want to say goodbye yet! He’s supposed to stay so we can make up and go back to how we were before! He can’t leave now… Why does he have to do that?

I sigh heavily, already missing him. Moments pass before I hear a knock at my door. I just pull the covers over my head tighter. The members had been trying to coax me out of my room all day before Seungyoon arrived, saying that I needed to be mature and see him off. I know I’m not doing the right thing right now, but that’s all I feel my heart can take. I was devastated when I had to sit next to him in that hospital room and listen to him say he was going to leave me and that he didn’t want to be the leader anymore. It hurt me to see him give up like that, but it hurt more realizing that our reunion would have to wait.

I didn’t want to wait. I want my Seungyoon back right now.

But…

“Go away,” I said half-heartedly. I couldn’t see him now. I just can’t. I mean, if I knew that it would work, I’d go out there and beg him to stay. But I know him. Once he’s decided something, he isn’t easy to sway.

Why does everything have to be so complicated? I just want him back.

I’m drowning in my thoughts of him as I hear footsteps fade away. They weren’t going to convince me out of here; I thought they’d already given up. After I heard the front door shut, I heard feet running to my door and my door being flung upon. I sat up, ready to tell whoever it was to go away again, when Seunghoon stopped me.

“Pabo! That was Seungyoon!! He just left!” Seunghoon was looking at me incredulously. Yeah, I would be looking like that too if I had to deal with someone as dumb as I felt right then.

“Wha…?” I muttered stupidly.

“Yeah. He’s going. He’s gone. Seungyoon has left. He just wanted to say goodbye to you. Is that so wrong?” Fed up, he left my door open and stomped back into the living room. That’s just it, Seunghoon! I don’t want to say goodbye…!

But I can’t leave things like this.

I spring up from my bed and speed past everyone’s startled faces to the door. I then sprint down the hall and, bypassing the elevator completely (too slow), take the stairs down two steps at a time. I need to catch him…

I make it out into the street just as the car is taking off. I slow down to a trot, coughing as I try to wave the exhaust smoke out of my face. I just stand there then, wanting to free-fall off a cliff (not really) over how stupid I am. I’ve done it again! I just mess up every chance I get when it comes to Seungyoon! I growl and kick at the sidewalk with my bare feet as I trudge back up to the dorm.

When I re-enter, everyone’s shaking their heads at me in pity. Yeah, yeah. I don’t need to be told twice. I’m a screw up. I sigh and drag myself to my room so I can shut the door, crawl underneath the covers, and cry myself to sleep in peace.

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When I wake up, it’s dark outside. I grumble and roll over to check the clock.

12:00 AM.

I grumble again as I realize I haven’t eaten all day and that I have to get up and find food. I roll out of bed and, dragging my covers with me, walk into the kitchen to make myself a late dinner. I sit down on the couch with my food, turning on the TV as I chew. I surf the channels, not really paying attention. My mind is elsewhere, with a certain raven-haired man… I was starting to feel concerned with the amount of time and space Seungyoon has come to occupy in my brain and heart, but I shrug it off.

He must have reached his mother’s house by now. I’m wondering about the drive there. I hope his trip was okay… that he ate enough on the way there… that he didn’t fall asleep at such an awkward angle that he’d have neck pains again. I could have at least sent him off with some homemade food, I think despondently. I just want him to be taken care of and for him to take care of himself. We all know how bad he is at worrying about himself appropriately.

I lay on the couch after I finish my food for another hour before I start missing my bed. I take my dishes to the sink and wash them mechanically. Then I go back to my dark room and close the door behind me, stepping on a shoe and face-planting to the ground after I trip on said shoe. I moan and toss the shoe away, the item making a loud ‘thud’ noise against the wall. I wince. I was gonna be in trouble if I damaged the wall with any scuff marks from my shoe.

After lying on the floor for a few minutes pondering over the merits of turning on the light and attempting to fix whatever damage I did, I decided not to do anything about it. The light’s too far away. So instead, I climb up onto my bed and curl up, resting my head on the cool pillow and waiting for the comfort of sleep to envelop me again.

However, before that could happen, my phone rang. I groaned. Who? Who who who?? I just want to sleep…

“Why me~?” I whine, fumbling around for my phone. Not finding it, I sit all the way up and start pawing my bed. I start panicking because I don’t want to miss the call; I hate missing calls. I finally locate my cell at the foot of my bed (what the hell?) and hold it up in the air triumphantly, letting out a tired “HAHA!”

…Being sleepy makes me loopy.

I realize that I still haven’t answered the phone and hurry to answer it, dropping my phone a few times in the process. “If the fans could see me now, my nickname would be ‘Nam Tae-Butterfingers’ for sure,” I mumble. I press the button to accept the call and answer with a breathless, “Hello?”

“Taehyun-ah.” My favorite hyung’s voice was soft on the other end of the line. I calm down my breathing and pause for a moment, sinking back down onto my mattress and letting my tired mind process the fact that Seungyoon had called me. How can his voice still call my name so fondly after all that’s happened…? My hyung is amazing.

“Hyung…”

He chuckles. I never realized how much I loved that sound. “Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you sleeping, maknae?” A small sigh. “I’m sorry,” he breathes.

“No, no! I-It’s fine, it’s fine…” I move myself so I’m more comfortable and shift my phone to the other ear. “Actually… I’m the one who should be apologizing, hyung.”

“Eh?” He sounded genuinely surprised. “What for?”

“For not seeing you off. I feel so guilty. It was stupid, I just didn’t think I could handle having to say goodbye to you for who knows how long…” I closed my eyes. “I really mean it, Seungyoon-ah. I even chased after you and everything. I didn’t realize it was you knocking. Of course I would have answered if I knew it was you.”

“It’s alright, Taehyun-ah.”

“No, really,” I insist. “I should have sent you off with food or something; I know how hungry you get when you travel. And I should have given you my neck pillow; you’re always hurting your neck by falling asleep at weird angles in the car. And I should have told you…” That I’ll miss you. That you don’t have to go. To take me with you. I should’ve told you everything…

I’m interrupted by a melodic laugh. “I said it’s okay, Taehyun! Geez! It’s like you’re my mom or something. I’m fine, really!” I smile at that.

I exhale. “Really?” I whisper meekly.

“Mhm.”

“You forgive me…?”

“Mm.”

I’m glad. I wouldn’t have been able to stand it if he’d said no. But then, that’s not what I want his forgiveness for most…

“Actually, Seungyoon-hyung…” I take a deep breath. “That’s not all I wanted to apolo—“

A tired, heavy sigh was heard on the other end of the line. “Taehyun. That’s enough. No more apologizing, okay?”

“But—“

“No buts. Okay?”

I deflate. “Okay…” I suppose it isn’t best to do that sort of thing over the phone anyway.

“…”

“…”

We’re both silent for a few moments, the only sound being the sound of our breathing.

Then, “Anyways, Taehyun… I just… I just wanted to hear your voice. That’s all.” It had turned a little awkward between us, I could hear it in his voice, and my heart mourned. This wasn’t us… we were never awkward.

But back on topic, he wanted to hear my voice? For whatever strange reason, that made me blush. Really hard. “O-Oh… okay…”

More silence. “Well, then, I guess I’ll let you go. See you soon, maknae.”

“Promise?” I’d meant to only say that in my head, but I guess I’d whispered it aloud because then he said, “Promise,” the smile he had on his face evident through his voice. “Good night, Taehyun.” I could sense him about to hang up.

No.

“W-Wait!” Dammit. Why did I say that?

A pause. He was still on the line. Then he said, “What’s up?”

‘What’s up’ indeed. I have no clue what to say! I just didn’t want him to go yet. We were quiet while I thought about something to say. I realized this was probably the last time I’d get to talk to him for a while. So I said the first thing that came to my mind.

“Stay on the phone with me.”

He hesitated a moment before he answered. “Taehyun-ah, it’s late and you should be asl—“

“Please…?” I nearly whimpered.

He sighed. “Okay, Tae,” he murmured softly. “I’ll stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep.”

“Okay.” I then lie all the way down on the bed and place the phone next to the pillow, settling into the covers. “Goodnight, hyung.”

“…Goodnight, Tae.”

I close my eyes and dream of him. His dark hair, his kind eyes, that hat he always wore with the wide brim, the cross earrings that always dangled from his ears…

His deep, warm baritone floating through my mind as I slept… not quite loud enough for me to make out what he was saying…

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Seungyoon’s POV

I stayed on the phone until I was sure he was asleep. His breathing got heavier, and all of his fidgeting stopped. He was out cold.

Then, just in case he was still awake, I spoke in barely a whisper as I said, “Sweet dreams, Tae-Honey.” I smiled at my cheesy nickname for him. “I love you…” I ended the call and went to sleep myself.

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Taehyun’s POV

Day 1

I woke up knowing Seungyoon wouldn’t be here, sleeping down the hall from me. I sighed as I sat up on my bed. Then I smiled remembering how he’d stayed on the phone with me until I fell asleep. Knowing that made me feel warm inside.

I stretched and made sure to put my phone on the charger before I padded out to the hallway. I grabbed a towel and headed into the bathroom for my shower. After I got out, I let my hair air dry as I threw on some sweats. I made my way back out in search of cereal to satisfy my aching belly.

I was the only one awake, which was new. I shrugged and ate my cereal in silence at the table. I then washed out my bowl and scooted over to the couch so I could watch some TV.

As time went on, everyone woke up one by one and came out to join me. They sat with me and we watched whatever I wanted, which I was grateful for. They all gave me looks of sympathy, which I could have done without, but I understood the intent behind them. We lounged around all day doing absolutely nothing. There was nothing to do without him here; his absence was felt. So we just sat all day, each one of us missing our leader.

Day 2

I was getting antsy. I couldn’t continue on like this for the rest of the time Seungyoon was gone—I had to do something. I don’t like being too lazy.

I grabbed my laptop and decided to work on the songs for the album. I wanted to make up for lost time since we never made it back to the studio to put on the finishing touches, so I thought I’d tweak what I could. I settled in at my desk to work, but I didn’t want to be alone in here. It’s so depressing in my room… I’ve been too negative for too long in here.

I pick up my laptop and start wandering around in search of a place to go. I went to the living room, but Jinwoo and Seunghoon were in there watching a movie and trying to discreetly make out with each other. Ick. I wrinkled my nose and turned to the dining table, but that was cluttered with papers and dirty dishes. Who did this??

Thinking of the mini balcony outside of our window, I headed out there. I opened the glass sliding doors and was hit with a huge gust of cold air. Yikes. “Yah, close that door, maknae!” I turn around. Seunghoon managed to detach his lips from Jinwoo’s face long enough to address me before they were back at it again. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom, desperate. I open the door to see Minho in the shower wiggling around and singing off-key to some American song by a Serena Gotez or something. “WALK LIKE A CHAMPION, TALK LIKE A CHAMPION~” he warbled. I just stood there in shock at the screeching I was hearing. I had to turn away and slam the door when he started winding his hips and singing “RUM PUM PUM PUM PUM~~” I ran to the closest room in a hurry. “MY EYES!” I wailed. Ew!!

I deposited myself onto the bed and laid the laptop next to me, burying my face in the pillow. “Cannot be unseen…” I muttered, wanting to shrivel up and die. In fact, I felt my toes curl out of sheer embarrassment for him. I then sighed into the pillow, taking a deep breath after.

Wait.

This smell…

Even though it may have been creepy, I sniffed the pillow again and bolted upright.

This is Seungyoon’s smell. I’m in his room.

“Huh…” I sit there for a moment, then smile. It’s perfect. No one’s in here, and I can concentrate on the music in peace and quiet. I settle in and put my headphones on, getting to work. An added bonus is that I feel a bit closer to him…

Day 3

I’d worked in here all day yesterday and I was going to do it again today. I stayed in Seungyoon’s room all day and only came out for food and bathroom breaks. I especially avoided Minho like the plague.

I was working on the music into the evening when I dozed off. I woke up feeling enveloped in all things Seungyoon. I sat up, confused. I’d managed to wiggle under the covers, which probably explains the strong essence of him I felt. I was embarrassed at myself for some time until I realized that I’d slept like a baby.

“I think I’ll just sleep in here tonight, too.” I finished up everything I’d wanted to do with the music by midnight and then settled in to sleep in Seungyoon’s bed.

Day 4

It was the afternoon. I emerged from his room for the first time today and shuffled into the kitchen, yawning as I went. I knew the others were in here talking, but the chatter stopped as soon as I walked in. This confused me, but I went about my way of making myself breakfast and ignored them. I ate standing up in the kitchen, and then put my bowl away. I caught a whiff of myself and smiled. I hadn’t showered yet, so I still smelled like hyung. I don’t think I’ll shower until much later.

I was walking back to Seungyoon’s room when I finally noticed the others and how they were looking at me. They were slack-jawed, their eyes bugging out a bit as they looked at me. Then, Seunghoon says, “Taehyun. Come here.” I go. I’m standing in front of them, confused as ever, when Seunghoon addresses me again. “Have you got on Seungyoon’s clothes?”

What?

I look down at myself, and am immediately embarrassed. I remember falling asleep in my clothes and waking up to take them off, throwing on whatever else I could get my hands on. It turned out that I’d slept in my boxer briefs with Seungyoon’s favorite long white shirt on. I turned red at how intimate it felt, causing my heart to beat faster and making me feel weird.

I was mortified. Seunghoon, however, just looked extremely amused, like he’d just figured something out. What? What had he figured out?? I nervously tug down Seungyoon’s shirt on my body even though I’m already well covered since it reaches about mid-thigh on me. Their stares are just making me uncomfortable.

Jinwoo speaks up, a strange look on his face. “I know you miss Seungyoon,” he started. Oh, no. I rolled my eyes. “We all do. But don’t you think staying in his room and wearing his clothes is a bit much…? We’re just concerned about you.”

My face was still heating up. “I can assure you that there’s no need to—hey!” Seunghoon just took a picture of me! “What are you doing?!” Seunghoon just smiled and put his phone away.

“Seungie!” Jinwoo chastised him. He just shrugged. I then scurried back to Seungyoon’s room, confused about a lot of things and pondering over the reasons behind my actions as well. Like, why am I so embarrassed? What is this feeling? Why am I secretly unperturbed at the fact that I slept in hyung’s clothes…?

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Seungyoon’s POV

I was sitting on the porch when my phone buzzed. I got a picture message from Seunghoon…? I open it and immediately flush red. Taehyun is standing there looking adorable in my favorite white tee and nothing else. Seeing his long, pale legs poking out from underneath my clothing made me feel hot all over for obvious reasons. I cursed and promised to kill Seunghoon later.

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Taehyun’s POV

Day 5

I’ve felt awful all day. I haven’t even left Seungyoon’s room yet. Last night, I stayed awake thinking about everything that’s happened lately. I thought really hard about how I’ve been feeling in regards to Seungyoon especially, and it made me cringe to dive back into that scary jumble of feelings that had made me snap at him. However, I was able to think uninterrupted and without his presence around, and I was able to untangle most of it.

The discovery I made has made me sick.

I don’t have it all figured out, but what I do have makes me scared. I think I know the reason I’ve been feeling all these ways now and why I think the things I have been thinking. I’m not sure though. I’m not sure I even want to be sure, because then that would make the feelings real. I’m not sure if I want them to be. What amazed me is how I never understood myself before now, how I never figured it out. The answer is so simple. There’s nothing wrong with me… or maybe there is.

A knock was heard, and then Jinwoo came in. He shut the door behind him and sat next to me, bringing me close so he could hug me to his side. He my hair as he asked, “Are you okay, maknae? You haven’t come out all day.” He faced me. “Was it what we said yesterday? We didn’t mean to upset you, Taehyun-ah…”

I was silent, tears welling up in my eyes. I had been avoiding eye contact, but I looked at him now, and he looked startled at the wetness in my eyes. “Hyung…” I said weakly. I had to know.

“Yes?” he replied softly.

“How…” I swallowed before I continued. “How did you know… you were in love with Seunghoon-hyung…?”

His eyes widened a little bit. I could tell he wanted to know why I was curious, but he didn’t pry. I was glad for that.

“Hm…” He thought for a moment, clearly not prepared to answer. “I guess… I guess I just knew. I don’t know when or how, but I grew to love him. To see him as a man instead of a brother.” He smiles at the thought of his lover. “I think I realized when I figured out that his happiness made me happy. His hurt made me hurt. I wanted to do any and everything to make him smile and be happy, even if I wasn’t at his side… though I wanted to be. I realized I loved every single thing about him, from his looks to his personality to his beautiful soul… even his flaws I grew to love.” He paused before going on. “I think I knew it was love when I knew that I never wanted to be without him in my life. It’s not like TV… love is more than dreaming of how it would feel if his lips kissed you, if his arms held you. It’s about feeling so connected to another person to the point where you feel your love for them in your very being. You just know that your hearts are tied together forever, and you don’t want to let go.” He reached up and wiped my tears away, smiling. “You know, Taehyun,” he murmured, and I nodded weakly.

So that was it then.

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No One’s POV

Jinwoo crawled into bed with Seunghoon later that night, still confused about his encounter with Taehyun. Seunghoon noticed this and cuddled the older to him extra tight, kissing his forehead.

“What’s the matter, Jinnie?” Seunghoon was truly concerned about the bewildered look his love had had on his face all day.

“Just… Taehyun asked me the strangest thing today,” Jinwoo whispered. “He seemed so distraught too…” He told Seunghoon what Taehyun had asked, to which the younger responded with a smile, saying, “Finally.”

Jinwoo caught on. “But he seems so upset, though… that’s not how true love is, right…?”

Seunghoon looked down at Jinwoo’s big, doe eyes. “Yes, well he’s probably letting it sink in that he’s in love with a man. That’s a pretty tough revelation to have when you’ve never had a gay thought in your life. He’s so young, too… he’s probably just now realizing how tough their love would be as long as they lived in Korea.”

“Oh…” Jinwoo nodded. “I understand then.”

“He’ll get over it. Seungyoon was distraught as well when he figured out his feelings for maknae, but he soon became ecstatic about the love he had for him.” Seunghoon pet Jinwoo’s hair as he spoke. “I was like that too when I realized I loved you.”

Jinwoo blushed. “M-Me too, I guess…” He laughed then.

Seunghoon’s eyes twinkled as he said, “Yeah, those two will be alright…” He then leaned forward and began showering Jinwoo with kisses, making the older giggle.

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Taehyun’s POV

Day 6

I’m in love with Seungyoon.

…

…

…

I mean…

I’m really happy that I know now… It’s good to know that I’m not crazy or anything, but…

It’s weird. I’ve never been attracted to a man before… Much less someone who’s supposed to be like a brother to me! I feel so guilty… I can’t burden Seungyoon with this. I’m just his maknae… he could never have feelings for me. He could have any woman he wanted, why would he want a man? Why would he want me?

…

I sigh.

Maybe I’m just Seungyoon-ual. It doesn’t matter either way; nothing matters except how I love him. But loving him… us being together would be so hard. It’s already tough for same- couples here in Korea. The difficulties would be amplified because we’re idols! I can’t do that to him… I can never tell. It’d only stress him out even more, and I don’t want a repeat of him passing out. Even if he did return my feelings—it made me blush to even think about it—I wouldn’t want him to have a harder life just because we loved each other. And if he didn’t return my feelings? If he told me no? I’d be crushed… beyond broken…

…

This really .

…

But is it bad… that I’m happy I love him? I’ve never been in love before, but I’m glad that my first love is him. He’s perfect. I could get lost right now counting the ways that he’s perfect to me… perfect for me. No one can love him like I do. They won’t know how. Only me, the closest person to him…

It has to be me.

I jump as I hear 2NE1’s song ‘Gotta Be You’ come up in my playlist. I blush fiercely and turn the stupid iPod off.

…

I hate this situation. I’m damned if I’m with him, and damned if I’m not…

It’s hard no matter what I choose to do.

This is so stressful…

…

I take a deep breath.

…

Falling back on Seungyoon’s pillows to fall asleep for the night, I wonder if it’s so wrong that despite my slight discomfort, despite the possible hardships, despite the fear of rejection, despite the lingering confusion in my mind…

I want to try anyway…?

…

I close my eyes.

…

I won’t tell.

Day 7

…

I open my eyes. My mind is surprisingly clear, the mess and confusion I’ve been carrying within me since last night and for a while before then is completely gone.

I’ve made up my mind. My feet hit the hardwood floor as I sit up on the edge of the mattress, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I’m ready to go.

it. this .

He has to know. He deserves to know. I want him to know. I want to be loud and heard.

I don’t care how much I sound like a cheesy romantic comedy…

I’m going to get him.

Damn it, I’m going to go get my man.

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Ayyyy. Be prepared for a fluffy cushion of KangNam when you hit that next button. :3