Hi :D Welcome again. I hope you enjoy this chapter... I have the rest of the story planned out, so yay :] WARNING: serious theme addressed this chapter. And I know you guys have been asking for more KangNam moments... they are coming! Just hang in there with me... I'm trying to develop the story more slowly because I don't want it to end! :U Thank you all for your loving support ^^ Another upvote came, yaaaaaay~ and welcome, new subscribers! Please keep leaving comments, I love them. :D And ixButterfly kinda guessed what happened to our Seungyoonie... You go, Glen Coco ;] Enjoy this chapter, lovelies~

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Taehyun’s POV

We run down the hall, down the stairs, trying to get to the main floor as fast as possible. We would have run all the way to the hospital, too, but the manager insisted on sending a company van to come get us. It was already there waiting for us when we made it outside. We piled in hurriedly, anxious to see him.

Seungyoon.

Oh, Seungyoon… Poor Seungyoon… Our Seungyoon.

What on Earth happened to him? Did he eat something bad? Was he not taking care of himself? Did he… Did he hurt himself on purpose…?

No. I will not entertain such thoughts. Seungyoon was going to be okay… he had to be okay. Even so, I still can’t get the image of his tear-ridden face, beyond crestfallen and his eyes looking at me with a look I’d never seen before and never wanted to see again. How could I do that to him…? How could I do this to him, leaving him to be found unconscious hours later? God, I’m awful.

Minho had his head in his hands, his hood pulled low over his face. Seunghoon was fiddling with his hat nervously, and Jinwoo was trying not to cry again. When I’d asked them to elaborate on Seungyoon’s condition, they didn’t say anything. After that, I immediately got up and threw on a shirt and a pair of shorts, sliding into my house shoes and running out of the door with the others hot on my heels. My mind was blank then, the only thought in my head was getting to Seungyoon.

Now, though, my mind is flooded with all sorts of thoughts. Thoughts about how this is my fault, and how Seungyoon was hurt in a hospital—a thought so surreal to me… thinking of how alone he had been while he was there, lying on the floor, lifeless.

We finally arrive at the hospital and all spill out of the van, not wanting to waste a moment before we got to our leader. Minho takes the initiative and speaks with the nurse at the reception desk, the rest of us too shaken to do so. She gives him the information we need and we walk briskly to our destination. By the time we got to the hospital, YG had come and gone, but he refused to give us any information. It didn’t matter; we were coming to see Seungyoon either way.

The door is shut, and we knock before entering. There is no answer. Minho turns and looks at each of us, mentally telling us to brace ourselves. Minho’s leader qualities have come out again, and we really needed it. He was being strong for us since we couldn’t be. He pushes open the door slowly and we all peek in, a gasp leaving all of our lips.

There he was, our leader—looking so small underneath the sheets and the tubes sticking out of him and with all those machines around him. We all step closer, and my eyes widen upon seeing him up close. His cheeks are gaunt and he is very pale, paler than usual. His eyes are shut, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks gently. Tears run down my face at seeing him like this, and I bring my hands up over my mouth to prevent a sob from leaking out. I look over at the machines, trying to make sense of them and what they mean. I recognized one from TV as the heart monitor, which kept chirping out a steady set of beeps.

He was alive.

Thank God.

I swallow back my tears and look at the other members in pain. Minho’s leader self had fled upon first sight of our real leader, his face stricken with grief all over again. Seunghoon’s face was twisted up with grief as well, tears running down his face. Jinwoo’s eyes were swollen and red already as he stepped forward to lean slightly over the man in front of us. He his hair and cried out, kneeling down next to the bed as he covered his face.

I was hurting for all of us. We are thankful that Seungyoon is alive, but we still don’t know what’s wrong with him. How did this happen? How did we end up in a hospital room, crying over an unmoving leader?

My thoughts were answered as a man in a white coat stepped in the room. He closed the door behind him and looked at us, smiling. I felt anger rise up within me; there was nothing to smile about. Minho noticed my clenched fists and rubbed my back. The man cleared his throat and fiddled with his clipboard before introducing himself. “My name is Dr. Yoo, and I will be overseeing Seungyoon’s recovery during his stay here,” he said with a smile. “Are you all friends of his?” What the is wrong with this guy?? We don’t need small talk, we need answers! Is he on crack?

Thankfully, no one entertained this guy, and he finally took the hint. “Ah, yes, well, Seungyoon-ssi has had a very tough time. We’re not sure exactly how long he had been lying unconscious…” I winced. “But he was there for a very long time,” he finished.

Jinwoo spoke up. “H-How is he…?” He’s never sounded so small. “Will he be okay? What happened?” He sniffled.

Dr. Yoo’s face turned a bit grave then, which scared me a little. “He has collapsed from stress and exhaustion. He had a bit of a fever, and there are signs of immense stress and lack of rest.” All of our faces fell. Damn it… Seungyoon really doesn’t take care of himself at all! He even let it get to this point. He works too hard… The stress part, though, I felt immensely guilty for. I know a lot of that came from me and everything I said to him last night. Suddenly, everything I thought mattered enough for me to shout at him wasn’t so important anymore…

The doctor was speaking again. “He is, however, expected to make a recovery. He just needs rest.” A collective relieved sigh was heard. “We will be keeping him here for a few days to monitor the fever and make sure he recovers well.” He nodded at us and took his leave.

Jinwoo turned to Seunghoon and clung to him. “Oh, thank goodness… he’ll be okay,” he sighed. Seunghoon hugged him closer and nodded in response. Minho looked around and spotted the chairs against the wall. He dragged one to the bed and sat down beside Seungyoon, gently his hair so as not to wake the sleeping man. The rest of us followed his lead and pulled the chairs up to the bed with me sitting opposite Minho and the hyungs sitting near the leader’s feet.

I grabbed Seungyoon’s hand. It was very cold, which was unsettling—he was always so warm to the touch, like a human furnace. I willed myself not to cry… I had to be strong. I didn’t deserve to cry anymore. I squeezed his hand tightly and leaned over to lay my head on his chest. I could feel his heart beating steadily, which brought a small smile to my face. I closed my eyes then, thinking to myself.

Rest well, hyung. Rest well, and come back to us.

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I must have dozed off… the sun was lower in the sky and there were shadows cast all over the room. I lifted my head and looked around, trying to blink the sleep out of my eyes. The chairs were empty. Confused, I felt around in my pockets to find my phone so I could text the others. I found a text from Jinwoo that said they had gone to eat dinner in the cafeteria. I sighed. I don’t know how they could leave Seungyoon… I don’t think I can.

I looked back down at him. His eyes were still shut in sleep, his chest rising and falling with each breath. I looked down to see that I was still holding his hand, but he was now squeezing mine back tightly. I ran my thumb over his hand fondly while I sat there, just looking at him.

Our strong leader. Always working so hard for us. I frowned thinking how he works too hard… I mean, look where he is now! But still, it’s all for us, and we couldn’t be more grateful. Always doing his best to lift us up when we want to just quit. Always there to point us in the right direction; he’s never led us astray, no matter how hard he is on himself as the leader. His work ethic is what drives us, and we strive to be like him in that respect. When Seungyoon is working, he’s a force to be reckoned with. That’s him.

Our Seungyoon. Always his worst critic. Always so caring with us, though. One of the reasons why my writing is so good is because he coaxed me out of my shyness with it. He told me to go for it, so I did. And now one of my songs will be featured on our album… I’m not the only one he helps, though. He will jam with Seunghoon until the wee hours of the morning when the older can’t sleep. When Minho gets frustrated, he’ll play with him until Minho cools down enough to be back to his old self. And when Jinwoo’s cheery self disappears suddenly, he’ll stay with him and just hold him while they watch TV or something. He does so much, sometimes he forgets to take care of himself…

I squeeze his hand with both of mine, willing him to feel how sorry I am. I wish I never exploded at him like that… I should have just talked to him. But I couldn’t do that; no, I’m much too hotheaded. Maybe if I’d just talked to him calmly, he wouldn’t be here. He’d have been home with me, peacefully asleep and perfectly fine instead of sprawled out on the floor somewhere. I shuddered as I remember how I’d left him: hurt and alone. I looked down at him sadly, wishing I could take it all back.

But I can’t. What’s done is done. It’s time to stop with all the ‘what ifs’ and move on.

Seungyoon’s eyelids fluttered and he began to stir. My eyes widened and I froze. I don’t know if I’m ready to face him just yet!

Thankfully, he just took a deep breath and went back to sleep, his head lolling to the side. I slowly let out the breath I’d been holding and closed my eyes. I have to get out of here, I thought. What if he actually wakes up next time? I feel like an (because I am) for doing this, especially since I was so upset when he’d left me. But I just can’t.

I untangled my hand from his and stood up. My shadow darkened his sleeping face as I bent over him to hug him goodbye. “Not goodbye, really,” I whispered as I held him. “Just see you later.” I straightened up and turned to go.

I’m sorry, hyung.

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Seungyoon’s POV

I’m awake. I don’t want to be… my eyes hurt. My body feels like it weighs 1000 pounds. I really just want to go back to sleep, but there are voices and I want to know who they belong to. I tentatively try to open my eyes, but I immediately screw them shut. Where the hell am I that’s so bright? The voices are gone and I wonder if it was all in my head. If that’s the case, I’ll just go back to sleep then…

I’m beginning to relax again when I hear it. “Seungyoon?” Damn. I wanted to sleep. I slowly open my eyes again, squinting against the brightness. When my eyes are fully open, I wait until they adjust from being in the dark so long before I look around. I see my bandmates all looking at me, which freaks me out a little. I notice that they all look tired and that it’s dark out. Before I can ask what’s going on, Jinwoo is on me.

“Seungyoon! You’re awake!” His voice is gleeful as he hugs me, and I’ve barely wrapped my arms around him before the other two have hugged me as well, effectively squishing me.

“Um, guys?” I croak out. “Can’t breathe…”

They all say “Oh!” and scramble off of me, making me laugh. Then I actually get a look at myself and realize that I have things protruding from my body and I’m wearing some sort of nightgown.

I’m in the hospital.

I look back up at them and ask, “What happened?” My voice is hoarse from disuse.

Seunghoon replied, “You passed out at the YG building.” He fidgets nervously. “We were really worried about you, Seungyoon-ah.”

“Yeah, don’t do that to us again!” Minho appeared next to my face, making me jump. “Take care of yourself, pabo! Rest when you need rest!”

So that’s what happened… I remember blacking out while I was trying to find help. I run my hands down my face. “Wow… I actually passed out. Wow.” Then I sigh miserably. “I’m sorry, guys. I’m messing up our debut and—“

“Shut. Up.” Seunghoon is glaring at me. “Don’t even say that. We don’t care. We just care about you getting better right now. The music isn’t going anywhere.”

I nod and relax back into my bed. “Guys, I think I’m gonna fall asleep again.” My eyelids are heavy. “I’m sorry. I really want to stay up and talk—“

“Oh my goodness, just shut up and rest!” Jinwoo stands up and leans over me to place a kiss on my forehead. “Rest well, Seungyoon-ah. We’ll be back.” He pats my hand and leaves with the others.

I close my eyes and feel sleep coming back to me quickly. I knew Taehyun wasn’t here. It’s okay… I wouldn’t have expected him to be when he said he was leaving for his mother’s. I deserve that, anyway… I left him, too. I just hope he’s doing well.

I fall asleep thinking of my maknae.

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Taehyun’s POV

The door slams, shaking the whole dorm. Uh-oh. They’re home.

I cower under my blankets, sinking down in my bed and hoping they’ll leave me alone.

No such luck.

My door is busted open, and the light is flicked on. I hear stomping and a swift kick is delivered to my side and I roll off the bed, hitting the floor hard. I rip the blanket off my head and look up to see Minho’s foot on my bed and his face contorted with anger. Aw, man… I hate when he’s pissed at me.

“What the were you doing that was so important that you had to leave the hospital and miss it when Seungyoon woke up?” he growled.

“I just…” I sounded meek even to my own ears.

“You just what?” Seunghoon crossed his arms and came to stand by Minho. Jinwoo was standing off to the side with his hands on his hips, gazing at me sternly.

“I couldn’t deal. I couldn’t be there.”

“Huh. You sound like a certain stupid leader when he was trying to explain away why he left you a little while ago.” Seunghoon’s nostrils flared. “I yelled at him for it because you were so upset. Why would you turn around and do that to him?? He was absolutely crestfallen!”

“You don’t understand!” I cried, standing up. “I—“

“You what?” Minho countered. “You’d better have a good explanation!”

“Because we had a fight…”

“What?”

I swallowed. “That night, we had a fight. Or, more accurately… I blew up at him.” They just raised their eyebrows at me. “I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I’d been holding in all my feelings and it was driving me crazy, almost literally. So I… I ended up yelling at him about how I felt and how he’d made me feel all this time…” I hung my head. “I said some things I shouldn’t have, I know… I don’t even remember most of what I said, but I…” I was tearing up again. “I know I hurt him. Bad. His face was so broken, so defeated. But I was so mad, I couldn’t see that. And I didn’t care. So I left him there while I walked around a bit. I never thought that I’d stressed him out so bad, he would collapse. I never wanted to hurt him. I just wanted him to listen to me.” I rubbed my eyes and looked up.

All was silent. Minho, at some point, had turned red. I got scared; I’ve never seen him look like that. I take a tiny step backward and Minho nearly leaps over the bed to get to me. In a flash, Seunghoon and Jinwoo are on him, holding him back.

“YOU !” Minho’s in a rage, spit flying out of his mouth as he curses at me. “I am SO SICK of BOTH OF YOU! You thought it was okay to hurt him too just because he hurt you?? Well, look what the you did!!”

I tried to defend myself. “I just wanted him to hear me out!! I’m tired of people not listening to me! Would you have rather I kept it in?! I have feelings too and I needed him to—“

“And Seungyoon doesn’t? You think he’s invincible??” His eyes are bulging. “Is it so ing hard for you two to have a human conversation without ing the other one up!? DAMN IT, maknae! You need to—“ Minho struggled against the hyungs and they dragged him out of my room while I collapsed on the floor, crying.

“Don’t you think I know that??” I shouted after them. “I KNOW! I HATE ME TOO!!” I sob into my hands. I’m ashamed of myself and my behavior last night. I was melodramatic and went overboard with spilling my feelings to Seungyoon. I know I’m guilty. I’m at fault here. I’m the straw that broke the camel’s back with Seungyoon’s stress. I hate myself. I’m such a selfish idiot… I’m a ing awful person. I just cause trouble to everyone, that’s all I’ve done for Seungyoon. I should just leave.

For good.

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No One’s POV

Dong Youngbae was home for a little while. He was sitting on his couch when Jiyong texted him. He rubbed his tired eyes and opened the message.

From: Ji

Ur home, right Bae?

Weird question… he knows I am, thought Youngbae. He replied in the affirmative. His best friend quickly responded.

From: Ji

Did u kno KSY is in the hospital

He quickly sat up. What? He knew he hadn’t talked to his dongsaeng in a while, but he didn’t think he’d be this out of the loop.

Wha?? Where? Which 1?

He got up and rushed to the door, snatching his keys. Jiyong texted him the information.

From: Ji

I sent flowers, u should get him some too

“Right, flowers…” he muttered as he tugged on his sneakers. He got up and ran out of the door, headed to the florist’s.

When he arrived at the hospital, he rushed to the desk and asked for Seungyoon’s room number. He managed to escape with only a few autographs and ran to the elevator. He nervously bounced on his toes. He wondered what on Earth was wrong. Probably twisted an ankle in dance practice…

He reached his destination and exited the elevator. He was in such a hurry to get to the leader’s room that he literally bumped right into a woman. “Oops, sorry. You o…kay…?” He stepped back to get a good look at the woman.

CL stared back at him. “Oppa.” She was holding a large bear and some chocolates, the bear so huge he could only see the small woman’s eyes over it. “What are you doing? Are you here to see Seungyoon-ah too?”

Youngbae smirked at her, noting the gifts she bore. “Yah, Chaerin-ah! Are you trying to steal my dongsaeng?”

She rolled her eyes and stared at him blankly, shifting the bear to her hip so she could speak properly. “What are you talking about? He is the dongsaeng of both of us.”

He pouted. “But your gifts are better than mine!” He frowned at the bouquet of tulips in his hand.

CL laughed then. “Are you jealous, oppa? You should have been more thoughtful, then. I know Jiyongie told you to get those.” Youngbae gasped, which made her smirk. “And if you must know, I’ve been his confidant while you’ve been away.”

“No fair! Friend snatcher! Our friendship is supposed to be strong like yeot!” He was teasing her, referencing the fortune teller from Winner TV. He stamped his foot. “Home-wrecker!” formed a perfect ‘O’ as Youngbae grabbed the doorknob and tried to enter. However, CL hip-checked him and attempted to get the door open herself. “Wow! CL’s hips sure don’t lie! Ouch!” He rubbed his side where she bumped him. Since when did Chaerin become a woman? She got the booty…

CL was unsuccessful in getting the door open, so she just stood there looking at the door forlornly. Youngbae laughed. “Haha. Shall oppa open it for you?” She just stuck her tongue out at him and entered when he opened the door.

Seungyoon was awake and sitting up in his bed when the two came in. He raised an eyebrow. “I thought I heard commotion…” His lips were pulled up into a smile. “Hyung! When did you come back?”

“Recently. Sorry for the noise… We were fighting over you,” Youngbae explained, playfully elbowing CL.

“We were not.” She placed the bear near the nightstand next to his bed. She handed him the chocolates. “Here. I’m sure you can have these.”

“Wow, thanks noona!” He smiled brightly up at her.

“Yah,” Youngbae cut in. “Stop being so cute! Take my gift too!” he whined as he went over and handed him the tulips. CL snatched them away and put them in the vase. “Hey!” he shouted.

“Just what did you want him to do with those?”

“He didn’t even have a chance to sniff them and proclaim his love for his hyung before your talons came and clawed them away!” He was referencing her unique nail style.

She just laughed and went over to get a chair. He got one too and positioned his across from hers. Seungyoon was still smiling.

“Thank you guys for coming here. It means a lot.”

“Are you well?” CL patted his hand. “How do you feel?”

“I’m better. My sleeping schedule , though.” Seungyoon laughed as he gestured at the clock that declared it was six in the morning.

“What happened, anyway?” Youngbae asked, worry written all over his face.

“I collapsed from stress and exhaustion… it’s kind of embarrassing, actually,” he stated sheepishly.

“Seungyoon-ah… You shouldn’t be overworking yourself.” Youngbae leaned back and crossed his arms.

The youngest sighed. “I know. It’s just…” he hesitated. Should he tell? Youngbae still had no idea what was going on.

CL noticed this and shot a quick glance to the Bigbang singer. “It’s okay to tell him. Talk to us.”

So Seungyoon spilled everything that had happened since he talked to them last. He made sure to update every last detail for Youngbae, who listened incredulously. How could so much drama happen? he wondered.

Seungyoon ended with a sigh. “So, I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.”

CL shared a look with Youngbae. Both were unhappy to see their dongsaeng so distraught. She had an idea… “Seungyoon-ah, listen…” She gave him her honest opinion, and laid it all out for him to think about. Once he heard it, Youngbae agreed with her plan.

“What do you think, Seungyoon?” he asked, looking at him intently.

“I… I don’t know,” the younger answered honestly. “I’ll have to think about it.” The older two accepted that and left the topic alone for the rest of their visit. They stayed and chatted with him for another hour before they both left him alone with his thoughts.

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Taehyun’s POV

They’ve been ignoring me all morning. I deserve that, though… I deserve everything that’s happened to me lately. They all ate breakfast without me in the living room while I ate at the dining table. No one’s said a word to me. Not even a “Good morning” from Jinwoo.

I’ve felt awful since the confrontation with Minho last night. I spent the whole night counting the ways that I proved myself an that deserved no one’s friendship. I hated myself. I didn’t even want to get out of bed. My stomach was the only thing that prompted me to drag my sorry out to the kitchen. I just wanted to lie in my bed and stay there for the rest of my life.

I wonder what Seungyoon looked like when he woke up. Was he smiling? Was he confused? Was he okay? Did he hurt? …Of course he hurt. I made him hurt. I was so stupid…

I was in my bed now, tossing and turning while thinking of our leader. Did the color return to his cheeks yet? Was he eating well? I want to take him some food, but I don’t know that I want to show my face around him ever again. I don’t deserve to.

I was spiraling into darkness of depression again when Minho opened my door. He was stone-faced as he said, “We’re going to the hospital now. Just thought you should know in case you decided to stop being a coward.” He promptly shut the door then, his feet padding away from my door. Hell no, I’m not going.

I heard the door slam, and there was silence throughout the dorm.

I was alone.

Silence.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

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I looked over at my clock. It’s only been a few minutes. I sigh.

…

Suddenly, something shuts down within me. I don’t like me. Nobody likes me. And they shouldn’t. I’m just bothering everyone, that’s all I do.

My feet hit the floor, and I stay sitting on my bed for a few moments, contemplating my actions up until now, and what I should do next. I arrived at an answer, and stood up. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it. I then stared at myself in the mirror. My 5:5 hair, as my fans liked to call it, was a disheveled mess. My naturally slanted eyebrows are even more slanted with the sorrow on my face. I looked at the area underneath my eyes. My bags had bags. I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at myself anymore. Then my expression turned blank as I began undressing myself.

Once I was , I stood in front of the mirror again. I stared at myself for a good while longer until I turned to the tub and started to draw myself a bath. There were zero thoughts going through my head, I was simply doing now.

I made sure the water was scalding hot before I turned off the faucet and stepped in. I thought I’d heard something just then, like the front door or something, but then I shrugged it off and closed my eyes as I sunk all the way down and submerged myself completely in the water, letting all feeling leave me as my hair floated around me. I rested my hands on my stomach and lie still.

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No One’s POV

They had barely started on their way to the hospital when Minho turned restless. Why do I have this bad feeling all of a sudden? he wondered. His arm was slung around Bobby’s shoulders; he, Jin Hwan, and B.I had met the boys outside of their dorm to accompany them to the hospital and visit Seungyoon.

Minho squirmed. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore. He leaned forward to address the driver. “Hey,” he said. The driver looked at him through the rear view mirror. “Let me off here.”

The driver raised his eyebrows. “What? Are you sure?” Everyone else present gave him the same look.

“What’s up, Minho?” asked Jinwoo, his brows knit in confusion.

“I gotta go get Taehyun.” He was antsy now. “Makes no sense for this to go on.”

Seunghoon’s look turned understanding. “Yeah, you’re right.”

The driver pulled over and let Minho out. Before Jin Hwan could shut the door, he held out his hand to tell him to wait. “Come with me, Bobby?” He was nervous for some reason and didn’t want to be alone. Bobby looked just as confused as everyone else, but came with him anyway. The car took off as soon as he was out. They were standing down the street, around the corner, and all the way down from the dorm. Not too bad of a walk, thought Bobby. They started on their way back.

Minho was power walking like an old lady doing her morning exercise, nearly mowing down anyone who got in his way. Bobby took the hint and picked up the pace. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked worriedly. He was concerned about how jittery the older looked just then.

Minho glanced back at him before answering. “I dunno, man… I just have a bad feeling.” He didn’t say anything else, and Bobby didn’t ask anything else. He just put a hand on his back as they continued on their way to the dorm.

Eerily, there was no one around when they arrived. This made Minho even more nervous. He grabbed Bobby’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he broke out into a run to the elevator. Poor Bobby just let himself be pulled, still confused about what exactly Minho thought was going on.

“,” he cursed, impatiently pushing the button for the elevator over and over. Bobby reached over and put his hand down. The elevator finally came and he dragged the younger in with him as he pushed the number for their floor and waited.

He was regretting how harsh he was with the maknae the previous night, but he’ll be damned if he didn’t deserve it. He wanted to knock his block off with how stupid he was being; it’s like dealing with Seungyoon’s stupidity all over again. But what Taehyun said was also ringing in his head… he had no idea why it was making him so nervous.

I hate me too…

“Minho, calm down. You’re making me nervous, too.” Bobby was starting to get a weird feeling as well.

“Sorry,” Minho muttered, not really present. The elevator dinged, and they rushed to Winner’s dorm, their hands still glued together. Minho frantically started digging in his pockets for his keys with his free hand once they reached the door. His fingers kept slipping and he couldn’t pick out the right key. He dropped them and swore again loudly. Bobby bent down and retrieved them, asking which key to use before he slipped it in the keyhole and turned the knob.

The older impatiently flung the door open, making it rebound off the wall as he ran in, not caring if Bobby followed (which he did). He stood in the middle of the room, listening. It was deadly silent. “Taehyun…?” he called tentatively.

No answer. He went into his room and looked for him, but he was not there. Minho flipped out and ran into everyone’s rooms searching for the maknae. Bobby, slightly calmer, noticed the light underneath the bathroom door and knocked softly. “Taehyun?” he tried. Still no answer. Minho was at his side in a second. “Yah, Nam Taehyun!” When the dorm was still silent, he panicked. He started banging on the door aggressively. “YOU OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR RIGHT ING NOW, MAKNAE!!”

“Shut up, you’re probably scaring him, you gorilla!” Bobby moved him aside and tried rapping on the door again until his knuckles hurt. He was starting to get scared, too.

No no no no no no no was running through Minho’s head as he squatted down, holding onto his head. “What is he doing…?!” His voice was high pitched and nearing hysteria. He looked up upon hearing banging. Bobby was throwing himself against the door, trying to break it down. He looked down at his boyfriend, a little breathless. “You wanna help me with this?” Minho got up and assisted, their bodies crashing against the wood three more times before it fell. Minho’s eyes zeroed in on the tub and he zipped in immediately, dragging Taehyun out kicking and screaming. Bobby stood aside in shock as the older carried the maknae into his room.

Taehyun was screaming at him to let him go until Minho slapped him. Then he was silent. Minho grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. They stared at each other for a long time, Taehyun’s eyes watery and Minho’s face full of sorrow. Finally, he whispered, “What are you doing…?”

That’s when Taehyun lost it. He clung to Minho and buried his face into his neck, wailing as he apologized over and over. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me I’m sorry…”

Minho shushed him and held him until he calmed down. Then he dressed him and dried his hair with a towel that was lying on the ground, standing him up and ushering him out the door with Bobby. He called a taxi, and on the way there, he gave the maknae a stern talking to and also apologized for his harshness the night before. Taehyun nodded his head and forgave; how couldn’t he?

More importantly, how could he? How could he almost leave s? His mom? His baby brother? Seungyoon?

He wanted to kick himself. It was like he was having an out of body experience… if he was fully aware, he was sure he never would have tried… that. He wanted to cry at how he almost left his favorite hyung behind. No, he had to live. He had to fix everything with his Seungyoon. And that’s what he planned to do… he would never leave this earth until he saw Seungyoon smile at him again. To have the memory of his broken expression erased from his mind permanently.

All three agreed to tell no one what happened.

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Seungyoon’s POV

I have something important to tell everyone. It’s the day before I get discharged, and I wanted to tell everybody before I left the hospital. I’d thought long and hard about what CL and Youngbae had said, and I think they’re right. I smiled thinking of them… they are absolutely the best. The others are all chatting with me, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Jin Hwan and B.I there as well. They told me that Taehyun, Minho, and Bobby are on their way, so I’m waiting patiently for their arrival before I say anything.

Finally, they enter the room and I smile brightly at them. I caught Taehyun’s eye and my smile disappeared completely upon seeing how he looked. His eyes were puffy, and his skin looked bad. Jinwoo scooted out of the chair next to me and went to sit on Seunghoon’s lap. They gestured for Taehyun to sit there, and he looked at me, hesitating. I tried smiling again and patted the seat. He smiled sheepishly and moved to sit there. My smile got a billion watts brighter. He smiled at me!

Once he sat, I held out my hand to him. His eyes widened, but he slowly reached up and placed his hand in mine, and I squeezed it. I brought it to my lap and held it there with both of my hands, patting his. “How have you been, maknae…?” I asked gently. The room was quiet. Bobby and Minho tiptoed to sit next to Seunghoon and Jinwoo. I looked him in the eyes as I waited for a response; his eyes were watery, and I patted his hand some more.

Then he shook his head. “I’m fine,” he replied, his voice sounding small. “The real question is, how are you?”

I smiled softly at him again and answered honestly. “Better, now that you’re here.”

He blushed and looked away, and I chuckled. Then I turned to address everyone. “Now that everyone’s present,” I said, “I’d like to share my news.”

B.I looked up from his phone. “Eh? What news is that?” He poked my foot.

“Well… considering this… incident I just had…” I started. I cleared my throat and continued. “I think it’d be best if I left for a little while.”

“Left?” questioned Seunghoon. Taehyun’s hand tensed in mine, and I squeezed it.

“Yes.” I looked at our hands. “I’m going to go stay with my mom for a bit.” Everyone gasped. “I don’t know when I’ll be back…”

“Seungyoon!” This was Jinwoo.

“Also…” I squeezed Taehyun’s hand again for support, gaining the strength to continue in explaining my plan... the part I didn’t tell CL or Youngbae.

“I resign from my position as leader. Minho, I give it back to you. I can’t do it.”

Everyone was silent.

A few moments later, Minho said quietly. “I won’t take it. Don’t do this. Don’t do any of this.” He looked up at me. “Please stay,” he pleaded.

I shook my head. “I’ve decided that this is what’s best for me, and also what’s best for the future of Winner. Please respect my decision.” With that, I turned to Taehyun and patted his hand, smiling while trying to ignore the shocked, hurt, and disappointed look on my love’s face. Don’t look at me like that, Taehyun-ah… you’re too beautiful to look like that…

This is for you, too, babe… I promise.

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I hope you enjoyed the update ^^