It seems like I'm apologizing a lot lately, but I really mean it xD I'm going off to college and things are getting so crazy, I have a hard time remembering to write. :o But it's here now... Please enjoy it. =u= The babies debut in a few days, so let's go let's go, give this fic some love (leave a comment lol)! <3

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Seungyoon’s POV

It’s been a few days since I talked to Youngbae-hyung. As the days passed, I got more and more anxious but more and more determined as well. I’ll do anything to get Taehyun back; we seriously can’t go on like this. We aren’t whole without him.

I’m lying on my bed when I’m startled by the buzzing of my phone. I grumble as I feel around in my pockets for my phone, seeing that it was the text I’ve been waiting for when I pulled it out.

From: Youngbae-hyung

The dragon is in the studio. Go now and approach cautiously

I take a deep breath—the time has come... What may be my last hope at getting my maknae back. I stand up and pull on a hoodie, passing my other members in the living room as I go. The look on their faces as they look back at me only strengthens my resolve. They look tired… so, so tired.

“Where are you going?” Jinwoo asks.

“Hyung texted me. I’m going to see Jiyong-hyung now.”

They all nod, hopeful yet grim expressions on their faces. “Fighting,” Minho says. I’m grateful for their support… I’ll need as much as I can get. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders as I walk out and make my way to the YG building. I go over everything I want to say in my head, my heart pounding more the closer I get to my destination.

I pause in front of the door to the studio, music floating out into the hallway from the cracked door. I can only hope this will go well… it has to. So I in my breath, raise my hand, and knock on the door before gently pushing it open.

Jiyong is sitting there in all of his grace, leaned back in a chair as one leg is crossed elegantly over the other. He’s in a simple all-black outfit today, which (thankfully) takes some of the edge off of meeting him. He looks up and when he sees me, his face doesn’t change. He simply sits, waiting for me to say something.

I bow. “Hello, Jiyong-hyung.” No reply. I stand there awkwardly. “Um, is it okay if I come in?”

“I’m working,” he says, his voice cold.

Ouch. Youngbae-hyung was right. “This won’t take long, hyung.”

He turns back to his laptop, eyebrow raised slightly. “Hm? You want something? What?” He clicks away at his work, barely paying any attention to me. I inwardly sigh. This is going to be more trying than I anticipated…

“I just need to talk to you. Please, hyung?”

He continues typing and clicking and scrolling for a few moments before he heaves a large sigh and finally faces me. He gestures to the couch and I scurry over and sit; I don’t want to be under the eye of the dragon any more than I have to.

He does me the honor of turning his back on his laptop completely and facing me, arms crossed, foot dangling, and lips slightly pursed. This is no time for me to cower, though… to be intimidated. I just need to say what I need to say; he’ll come around. …He has to.

I clear my throat nervously before I begin. “So, hyung… you’ve heard about what happened to Taehyun, right?”

His face changes a little, sympathy making itself known on his features. “Yeah… really unfortunate. I’m sorry.”

I nod. “Thank you.” I’m about to say more when he speaks again.

“How are you guys holding up?”

“Not well… not in the slightest.” I can’t help but let my shoulders sag as I sigh, momentarily reflecting on how big of a mess this is. “That’s actually what I came here to talk to you about…”

Jiyong sighs. “Look, I feel bad and all, but I really can’t play therapist with you right now. I have things to work on.” He eyes me before turning back around. “I have a lot more free time now that my activities have been suspended, thanks to you. I’d rather be productive.”

I ball and unball my fists, biting my tongue to keep from defending myself. “I apologize, hyung. It’s not like I want things this way, either.” He continues working. “But I have a plan—” a soft snort from him “—that will hopefully get things back to normal.”

“Back to normal?”

“Yes. Everyone goes back to doing what they do and everyone is where they belong.” I fix my gaze on his back, willing him to face me again. He turns his head to glance at me, but doesn’t look at me full on.

“And what does that have to do with me? Just do it; everyone would really appreciate it if this mess was cleared up swiftly.”

“Actually, it has a lot to do with you… my plan, that is.”

At this, he slowly spins back around to look at me again, face scrunched up from not understanding. His mouth forms an ‘O’ as he stares at me, trying to figure out what I’m saying.

This is it. The big reveal. “I need your help for this plan to work… I need you.” I make sure to stare straight into his eyes as I say this, my gaze not wavering for a second. I can’t show any uncertainty or there’s no way he’ll help.

He continues to stare at me for a beat, leaning back as what I just said sinks in. “What is this…?” he says, looking away and chuckling to himself as his eyes squint from the smile on his face. Then he just looks at me, the smile slowly fading from his face as minutes go by. “You’re serious.” I say nothing, continuing to look him in the eye. He scoffs then, shaking his head. “You’re serious,” he repeats.

“Quite.”

It seems that Jiyong is a fan of stare-downs, as he’s back to staring at me again. His gaze is hard, like he’s challenging me. I’m guessing this is one of his intimidation tactics… well I won’t back down. I may be a rookie, but I’m a leader just like him all the same.

“You know,” I say slowly. “You must know how I feel. How truly desperate I have to be to come here and ask you this.”

He his head, his stare never changing. “How do you figure that?”

“You’re a leader, too. You are Bigbang in the same way that I am Winner.” I try to convey all of my feelings in the look I give him as my gaze begins to soften. “I don’t want to have to ask for help, but I have no choice. I can’t do this on my own. I have to swallow my pride and reach out for something, anything, because it’s clear to me that that’s what I have to do.”

“And I’m the branch you’ve closed your fist around? Is that it?” He tilts his head slightly up, looking down his nose at me. Then he closes his eyes, shaking his head again as he drops it. He leans forward and rubs both hands down his face. “Tell me what exactly it is that you think I can do? That you think I will do?”

I rub my sweaty palms on my jeans. “It’s no secret that the president favors you and is closest to you more than anyone.” He peeks up at me from his hands. “I thought maybe if you said something—”

He groans, flopping back into his chair. “I can’t believe you’re wasting my time with this! Is that it?” He looks at me incredulously. “Your big plan is for me to try to beg YG—on your behalf—to forgive you for this screw-up and release his restrictions on you?” Letting out a little laugh, he looks up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe this.”

“Please, hyung!” My desperation is coming out now. “I have no other options! I thought of everything—”

“Everything?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow challengingly.

“Everything. I’m out of ideas. This is the best I could come up with. Believe me, I don’t want to be sitting here and begging for this either. But I’m not too proud to do it because this is literally my last hope.”

“I’m your hope?” His voice rises. “Seungyoon-ah. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

“I don’t care! It has to work!” My tone rises to match his. “Do you have a better idea? What would you do?”

He's silent then, chewing on his lip as he thinks. Finally, he shrugs. “I really don’t know. I’m not in this situation, so I can’t say for sure. But really, Seungyoon, this is just…” He sighs again, running his hands through his hair. “I mean, I’m flattered that you think so highly of me that you think I can actually do something, but you give me far too much credit. I really—”

“But you can,” I interrupt softly. “You can. I know you can. Plus, you stand to gain something too; you’d be released from lockdown, as well. Everyone would.”

“I’m not comfortable with you heaping all of your hopes onto me. That’s such a burden, Seungyoon-ah, you must understand.” I nod—I know I’m asking a great deal of him. “And what if I disappoint you? What if I couldn’t do it? I don’t want that on my conscience.” He stands up, slowly starting to pace. “Let me ask you this. What kind of influence do you think I have?” He stops in front of me. “How much sway do you think I have over him and his decisions? He is the president. He does what he wants.”

I stand up as well to face him; we’re the same height, so I can look at him eye-to-eye. “I know, hyung, but… don’t you see?” I look down for a moment as I fiddle with my hands. “He respects you. He knows you. You can say things to him that no one else can.” I in a deep breath as I continue. “I’m not saying you have power over him like that. But I do think you can level with him and get him to think… like, actually consider what you’re saying. In the end, it is up to him to change his mind or not, but I think you have the ability to open his mind a bit and give him perspective.”

He bites his lip again as he looks to the side, the gears turning in his head. “Please,” I say, regaining his attention. “I’m not asking anything else. Just to help give us a chance.” He looks down. Quieter, I say, “I need him back, hyung.” My eyes sting, but I fight back the tears and keep going. “You’ve felt that way about someone before, right…? I can’t be without him like this. It’s not just the group that needs him… I need him. I love him.” He looks up at me again then, his own eyes burning with something akin to what I feel.

Slowly, he nods. “Yeah…” He turns away from me, leaning over onto the table. “… I know how you feel.” In the heaviness of his sigh, I sense a lot of things at once; it makes me curious about what his love was like—I’m guessing it ended because of the pain I saw flash briefly in his eyes. He just stands there for a moment, drumming his fingers on the table. Then he turns around to face me. “Seungyoon-ah… I don’t know the outcome of this. I really don’t. But…” He pauses to scratch his neck. “I suppose I can try. But don’t expect anything to come out of it.” His gaze is stern. “Prepare to be disappointed.”

“Yes, hyung.” I merely nod, but what I want to do is run up and hug him. Yes! I can’t believe I convinced him! “Thank you so, so much.”

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbles quietly, his mind already starting to wander elsewhere. “I’m curious, though… how did you know I’d be here? I didn’t want to be bothered, so I didn’t tell any—” Then his eyes widen as he recalls something. I just smile sheepishly. “Aish, Youngbae…!” He stomps back to his chair and picks up his phone, probably texting something catty to the man in question.

I smile and take that as my cue to leave. As I slip out of the room, I let out a major relieved sigh. It’s not over yet, however… the hard part is over for me, but the hardest part has yet to come. I leave everything to the fierce leader now… all I can do is wait.

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No One’s POV

Irresponsible.

This is the word that’s been running through Jiyong’s mind since he got home later that day. He lays spread eagle on his bed as he curses himself for getting himself into this. What was I thinking? he thought to himself. What can I do? I can’t do anything! I’m going to disappoint them… this is entirely too bothersome. He lifts a strand of his hair from his face, wet from the shower he just took. I don’t even know how I’m going to begin to say anything.

He simply lays there for a while, his mind going into overdrive for about an hour as he frets over the situation he’s in now. Tomorrow, he planned to go to the YG building, anyway. The president will probably be there, too, so he might as well get to him then. But he really is concerned because he has severe doubts about his ability to make a change in things around the company.

Just as he was about to give up and raid his fridge for some leftover whatever-Seungri-made-the-other-day, a thought occurred to him. “Maybe that person…” he muttered, furrowing his brow. This idea unsettles him a bit because, unlike Seungyoon, he was very prideful and hesitant about ever calling in favors. However, he’s a man of his word, and he feels he has a very low chance of being able to pull this off on his own. With this person, the chances might not be much higher, but he’d still have a better shot at getting through to YG. Turning over, he reaches for his phone and dials the number of the other person in the company that is closest to the president.

It rings for a few moments before a voice answers. Jiyong lets out a breath as he greets his friend.

“Hyung.”

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Seungyoon’s POV

Today’s the day.

Early this morning, I got a call from Jiyong-hyung. He said he’d be going to the YG building today to talk with the president.

“You’ll know by the end of the day,” he said, hanging up soon after.

The dorm is quiet. Everyone’s on pins and needles because we’re anxious. This is our last shot… Let’s see if it works.

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No One’s POV

The sun is going down. Jiyong ended up being unable to reach the president immediately, so he just worked in the studio all day. It didn’t matter much to him; he was waiting for someone, anyway. He couldn’t see YG without him.

However, the day went on, and still there was no sign of his companion. He was getting more and more annoyed and panicked; if he didn’t show up, he’d have to talk to the president without him or worse; give up completely. There’s no way he was going to cop out on his dongsaengs like that. This is why he was understandably pissed when none of his passive-aggressive texts and voicemails received an answer.

He stepped out of the studio and noted the pink of the sky. “Dammit…” he growled, whipping out his phone to send another threatening text. Then he headed to the balcony so he could smoke. He was stressed, so he figured he deserved it even though he was trying to cut back on his nicotine intake. He lit up and inhaled, relaxing the tension in his body as he looked at the skyline. It was unusually chilly today, so he had on a scarf. The cold air nipped at his cheeks, making them rosy. He closed his eyes and thought about how days like this did wonders for his creativity. In fact, he wished he could be in the studio now, writing a song.

“But noooo,” he grouched, taking another hit off the cigarette. “I’m out here waiting for his dumb …” He glances down at the street below as he exhales, the smoke escaping through his nose. “Speak of the devil…”

He hurriedly stubs out the cigarette and hustles down to the lobby. As soon as he spots the man he’s looking for, he scowls and marches up to him, seizing his wrist with a vice-like grip as he drags him along.

“Ah!” Teddy whines. “My wrist! It’s being crushed!”

“Good,” Jiyong snaps. “That’s what happens to late people!”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry I’m late, but damn! Ease up!”

Jiyong sighs and loosens his hold a bit. “What’s your excuse?”

“Well, my girlfriend and I—”

“Shut up. Oh my god.” He’s known Teddy for years, so over time, the level of formality has dropped between them. He sasses him freely just like anyone else when they cross him. “Do you not realize how serious this situation is, hyung? I thought I explained it to you?”

“Yes, Jiyong, I know. I’m sorry.”

“I hope we didn’t miss the president…” Jiyong mumbles, more to himself than the other man.

They make it to the receptionist for YG and walk up to her. “Jiyong-ssi, hi!” she greets cheerfully. “You too, sir.”

“Yes, hello, is the president available?” Jiyong asks impatiently.

“Yes,” she says, “but he should be getting ready to—”

Just then, the door opens to reveal YG exiting, the lights in the office dark. He has his coat in his hand and he’s playing with his phone. He looks up to bid the receptionist goodnight, but pauses upon seeing the two visitors.

“Jiyong… Teddy,” he says slowly, vaguely wondering about why they’re present.

The two men bow and greet him as well. “Are you leaving, hyung?” Teddy asks, using YG’s preferred title from when they first met.

“Yes…” he replies, still eyeing them. “What do you want? Make it quick.”

“Actually, we wanted to talk with you,” Jiyong says.

YG shakes his head, waving his hands. “No. I’m leaving.”

“Please,” Teddy says firmly, his gaze soft.

President Yang raises an eyebrow, his mouth slightly agape as he looks back and forth between his two most favored artists. He then slides his phone into his back pocket, sighing. “Walk with me.”

The two follow him as YG continues on his path, the older man whistling as he walks. “To what do I owe this visit? You guys want something?”

Jiyong glances at Teddy, the latter nodding before he speaks. “We wanted to talk to you about Winner,” he says quietly.

YG stops mid-step, slowly turning around to look at them. “What…?”

Teddy nods. “It’s important, hyung.”

YG’s eyes narrow suspiciously before he shakes his head. “For f… goodness’ sake…” Then he heads back toward his office, the younger two hurrying to keep up with him.

As soon as they’re in, YG turns on the light and tosses his coat on his desk. The two leaders make themselves comfortable in the seats in front of him as he settles into his larger one. As soon as he’s seated, he folds his hands and gazes at them sternly. “What’s this about?”

Jiyong speaks first. “We heard about the incident with Seungyoon and Taehyun.”

“Yes, I’m sure you did,” YG says, impatient. “And what concern is it to you?”

Jiyong swallows, his eyes downcast as he thinks. From here on out, he has to choose his words very carefully. “Permission to speak informally?”

The president is confused; G-Dragon only asks this when it’s an especially important situation. “Go ahead…”

“I’d like to ask you to rethink your decision.”

It’s quiet for a moment before YG laughs, disbelieving of this turn of events. “What is this? The rookie defense squad?” He stops laughing. “I will not reconsider. I did what was best. Now leave.”

Jiyong sighs and sits back. “With all due respect, I think it’s a rather serious matter. After all, your decision affects me, too. You put all our activities, including concerts, on lockdown.”

YG squints at him, leaning back into his chair as well. He gives a small, humorless laugh. “Alright. Let’s hear what you have to say.”

“Do you believe they’re in love?”

The president scoffs. “What difference does it make? My decision was entirely independent of that.”

“I don’t believe that,” Teddy interjects. “If you didn’t think it was a problem, thought that they weren't serious, you would have left them alone. At least, you wouldn’t have punished them to this extent.”

“Then didn’t you just answer your own question?” He shoots back.

“Okay,” Jiyong says. “Now, you broke them up because it would have been a scandal if it got out. A scandal that would have caused irreparable damage to everyone here. I can understand that.”

“Then why—”

“Sajangnim,” the younger leader interrupted. “I understand your rationale, but that’s as far as it goes. This decision is flawed and harmful to not only them, but your business as well.”

YG frowns deeply. “I don’t need you to tell me how to run my business. Neither of you. I didn’t get to where I am by taking advice from my artists, and I’m not about to start now.” He leans forward. “Proceed with caution. Don’t get out of line, Jiyong.”

“Forgive me if I speak out of turn,” he says, raising his hands up. “But I have stock in this company too, so it makes sense for me to worry about it from a business standpoint.” He pushes up his fake glasses on his nose. “But from a personal standpoint… I’m not a cold person. I care about my dongsaengs. And as I said before, this debacle is hindering my grind. It is completely my business.”

The president leans his head on one hand, looking at Jiyong curiously. “…Are you sure these are the only reasons why you care…?”

He knows, and he’s not wrong, but Jiyong’s not going to give him that. He clenches his jaw tightly and speaks firmly. “There is no other reason. We’ve already established why I have a place to speak, so let’s move on.”

Teddy clears his throat to speak again. “Hyung, they’re just kids, really. Yes, they need guidance; that’s very true. In this case, however, I don’t think it’s right to just punish, especially when it’s something as serious as this.” Picking at a loose thread on his hoodie, he continues, “Love… it can be a tricky thing. It can definitely get in the way of things in this business, which is why it should be handled with care. This is why I don’t think disbanding a perfectly good group—”

“You and I must have completely different understandings of the word ‘disbandment.’” YG shrugs. “Winner still exists—”

“Hyung.” Teddy looks at him earnestly. “I know you know that’s not right. You’ve already announced them to the world. Yes, they’re technically still trainees, but people have expectations. And it’s not just Korea looking at you and how you manage them, but you have an international audience in everything you do. It will look very, very bad if you just drop Taehyun out of the blue so close to their debut.”

YG clicks his tongue. “This happens all of the time in this business. It’s no different this time.”

“Oh, but it is,” Teddy counters. “They have all this popularity even though they haven’t even debuted yet. They know him, he has fans, and fans of the group collectively know his place. It’s not going to look good at all for you if you just move him to Team B or trap him into the life of a trainee. There will be outrage against you, and as their fan base is unusually large, that could prove to be problematic. One scandal or controversy can be all it takes to sink a new group. And then you’ll have wasted all your money and time on this project.”

He’s quiet, staring at the two in front of him. “Fine,” he says, quickly trying to change the course of the conversation. “Backlash. Whatever. I’m confident I could handle it…” He does have his doubts. He has had projects fail before, costing him a lot of money. Winner is his most expensive yet, and he really can’t afford for them to crash and burn before they get the chance to soar. He knows not to underestimate the power of the press and the fans who are firm believers in keeping a group whole. “There are two sides to this. Which is the bigger scandal? Homoual idols or a dropped member?”

“In this case, sajangnim, they’re equally as bad,” Jiyong chimes in.

He sighs. “So what would you have me do then? In that case, I picked the lesser of two evils. I’m done talking about this.”

Jiyong shakes his head. “But what you did has more evils than if you left them as five.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I’m not going to try to argue any garbage about how they’ll be unable to function without him; they could… I don’t know about Seungyoon, though. I think anyone in his place would have an incredibly hard time.”

“Listen.” Teddy glances at Jiyong before he his lips. “You can’t drop either from this agency. You’ve invested so much in them, it’d be too much of a gamble; if they went somewhere else and rose up on their own, you’d look real stupid.”

“Three words, sajangnim: Park Jin Young.”

YG winces. He knows his old friend struggles to keep his company up in the ‘Big Three’ of Korea, and how the rise of the star Jay Park left him with egg on his face. He vowed to himself that he’d never get so bad; he even declined JYP’s offer to take over JYPE. He scratches his neck and looks away.

“So both of them stay here,” Teddy continues. “Even if you did everything in your power to keep the two from meeting, it’d never work. You can put him in another group, leave him as a trainee, do whatever; Seungyoon is strong. He will find a way past everything if it comes down to it.”

“Really, he’s asking you nicely right now because he doesn’t want to stir up trouble and he’s a good kid.” Jiyong taps his fingers on his leg. “But you know how a man can change with his emotions, and love is the most potent one of all. I can see in his eyes what he’s capable of, and if he wanted to, he could be a real pain in your . I can tell his feelings are true…”

“I don’t doubt it, Jiyong,” YG says quietly. “I’m sure you of all people…”

Jiyong holds up a hand. “Please.”

YG is silent for a moment before he nods.

“Because of this, it’s even more likely a scandal could occur. Keeping them apart is far more trouble than it’s worth; it’d be easier to control if they were together.”

“And look what happens when they’re together! I got blackmailed!”

The former 1TYM member sighs. “Like I said, hyung, which is the better option? The likelihood of a scandal is much bigger if they go on like this.”

The president was getting closer and closer to the end of his rope. “I don’t care!” he exclaims, agitated. “Look, you know I respect the two of you the most, but really this is too much. I don’t need you going to bat for them; I know what I’m doing!”

“Hyung, all I’m saying is that they’re young; they make mistakes… some really bad.”

“You remember Riri back then, don’t you?” Jiyong adds, talking about his maknae. “How much did you cover for him?”

“I…”

“I’m not saying you should cover for them as much as you did him; in fact, I think Winner is more mature than we were starting out. This really seems like an isolated incident of carelessness. I’d bet they wouldn’t do it again, especially after you did this.”

“I don’t give a damn about ‘bets,’ this is their future.”

“Which you could be unnecessarily jeopardizing by reacting this way! This almost doesn’t seem like you, hyung!” Teddy takes off his hat; he was beginning to get hot. “This is extreme, even for you. And you put the whole company on lockdown.” It almost seemed like YG made an irrational judgment out of emotions, but he would be speaking out of line if he said that.

It’s silent for several minutes, all three of them trying to calm themselves. YG was having second thoughts, and he didn’t like that at all. He tries not to have any regrets and stick to his decisions, but as he grows older, he realizes that maybe sometimes, he is wrong.

“Leave. I am seriously done discussing this with you. Thanks for your concern, but I don’t need it.”

Teddy knew they were cracking him. “Hyung…”

He just shakes his head. “Do as I say.”

The leaders give each other a long look before slowly rising out of their seats. They didn’t know whether they’d won or lost… What was Jiyong going to tell Seungyoon? With heavy hearts, they started to exit the room. As Jiyong was walking, he changed his mind about something and let Teddy leave ahead of him as he walked back toward the president.

He’d had his eyes trained on his desk when he sensed that someone was still there. When he looked up at Jiyong, the latter spoke. “Even if none of what we said matters to you, still think about it. About the depth of pain it can cause one to be ripped apart from the one they love.” He gave YG a meaningful look as he let his words sink in for a moment before he finally left, leaving YG alone to digest all that had been said. The president had done the right thing for his company and for his artists… he knew he had. He knew it.

Outside, Teddy was waiting for him. As Jiyong walked toward him, he tried his hardest not to let his shoulders sag and keep his head held high. The events with Seungyoon and Taehyun brought back painful memories for him… memories he wished weren’t so harshly dragged back out into the spotlight like this. Teddy understood the look on his face and threw an arm around him, pretending he didn’t see the wetness in his eyes. “You tried, Ji,” he said softly.

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B.I laughed a little too loudly, trying to coax Taehyun into laughing with him. It didn’t work, however, so he just ended up looking weird. The leader noted the blank look on Taehyun’s face with sadness. Taehyun noticed him looking and tried to give him a weak smile, but it never reached his eyes and looked more forced than anything; not even his acting skills could hide his depression.

Days had gone by without word from Seungyoon or any visitors, so the boys in Team B were left to continue trying to pick up the pieces and put Taehyun back together, but they were failing. He was broken—shattered. Nothing they did would ever make him okay; they realized that now. The only thing they could do was be there to support him and prevent him from falling further (Bobby had privately informed them of Taehyun’s past attempt on his own life). It was a tragedy the way everything turned out, but what could they do?

At least Taehyun wasn’t still in bed. They’d finally gotten him to come out and watch a movie with them tonight, but it looked like it wasn’t doing much good. He didn’t look any less miserable and it didn’t look like he was enjoying it. In fact, it looked like he really didn’t want to be out there.

“I’m going back to my room,” he said quietly. He slowly took off the blanket he’d curled up in—his every move was lethargic nowadays—and shuffled back to his room, back to his bed. Back to where he could dream of Seungyoon and mourn their love in peace. Flopping down onto his bed, he wriggled under the covers and buried his face in his pillow, willing sleep to come; he didn’t want to feel anymore today.

Meanwhile in the living room, the group was glum. “Well that didn’t work,” Jinhwan said morbidly. They turned back to the movie and tried to enjoy it but found that they couldn’t, so they all got ready for bed. Bobby was the last one left, so he turned off the TV and went to get a glass of water—sometimes Taehyun would wake in the middle of the night and ask for one.

He yawned, turning off the kitchen light and heading for his room when he heard a voice at the front door. Frowning in confusion, he quietly set down the glass and went to the door.

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Yang Hyun Suk lay in bed, aimlessly scrolling through his phone. His mind was elsewhere; still stuck on the conversation he had earlier. Locking his phone and placing it on the charger, he his side to go to sleep. “Ridiculous,” he muttered quietly.

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Seungyoon’s POV

I’m sorry, Seungyoon-ah.

That’s what the text from Jiyong had said.

Tears blurred my vision as I threw my phone down on the couch, hands covering my face. I can’t believe this.

Jiyong couldn’t do it. That was our last chance and it didn’t work. I failed Taehyun.

Again.

At this point, I don’t even deserve him anymore. I can’t do anything, it seems. Can’t protect him, can’t make things right… I don’t want to accept this as fate, but it seems more and more like divine intervention is trying to keep us apart.

I just… don’t understand.

I really thought he could do it… I guess I overestimated him. And now I bet he feels bad.

God… I can’t do anything right.

All the tears I’ve been holding back these past few days… they’re coming.

I can’t hold back anymore.

So I let go.

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I don’t know how long I cried for… all the members held me the entire time. They didn’t say anything; no “I’m sorry,” no “It’s gonna be okay,” none of that. No lies. There are no words that could have comforted me, so they just silently cried with me.

I wipe at my face a final time. It feels raw after all the tears and all the scrubbing I did afterword with a hand towel. I don’t think I have anything left in me. I’m empty and broken inside, but I have to fix myself.

For them.

My brothers.

I can’t wallow… I don’t know when YG will make us active again—the thought of doing it without our maknae makes me sick—but I know I’ll have to be strong then. I’ll have to be ready… I have to fix myself.

For Taehyun.

I take out my phone and unlock it to see that same wallpaper with the two of us there. I don’t think I will ever be able to bring myself to delete it. At least this I can hang on to. I stare at it, at the image of Taehyun’s smiling face. I bet he looks different now… thinner… paler…

I stop there.

I want to keep seeing him like this, like he is in the photo. Hopefully, when I see him again—the thought of not knowing when kills me—he’ll look just like this. Hopefully, he’ll look way better than the way I hear he looks.

I want him to stay beautiful, to stay happy. He’s not happy right now, I know, but I want him to get back there one day. He’ll have to, just like I will. I think of the tattoo on his wrist and hope it serves as a reminder to him. ‘Stay gold…’

“Be strong, baby,” I whisper, in a shaky breath and stuffing my phone back into my pocket. I wish that my words could reach him. I lean my head back on the bathroom wall and close my eyes. “I love you…” I want that to reach him, too. I want him to know that, to always remember that. No matter who or what may come, that love will never go away. Ever. Now… right now, I just have to learn to carry on… to try.

I have to fix myself.

So while my bandmates are sleeping, I leave the dorm, even though it’s late. I need some time to myself, alone. I have to start to pick the pieces up, even though they’ll never fit back together quite right… not without Taehyun.

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Taehyun’s POV

I’m sleeping.

But I’m starting to wake up. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, not wanting to wake up. I’m not ready.

Then I feel an arm slip around me and my eyes fly open.

The arm is warm… a familiar warmth. I like the warmth. It’s coming from behind me. Who is it…?

I start to get my hopes up but dash them immediately. Silly me… Seungyoon’s not here.

It must be Bobby. I guess my nightmares got bad again… he comes whenever I have a fit in my sleep. Oh, well… even though I really don’t want him in my bed, I’d feel bad waking him up. I’ll just try to go back to sleep… I want to go back to Seungyoon.

I’ve just closed my eyes again when I feel it. A whisper in my ear.

“Taehyun.”

I stiffen.

That voice…

I turn around to my other side to look at the person holding me in their arms. The light isn’t on and there’s no moonlight from the window, so I can’t really see, but somehow I know it’s him.

Him.

It’s my Seungyoon.

My heart and brain go into overdrive. I can’t comprehend how he got here, but I just know I’m happy he’s here.

“S… Seungyoon…?” I whisper weakly, my voice thick with tears.

All I hear is breathing. Then, “Hi, baby.”

I sob loudly, clutching at him with my arms and legs. I can’t believe it… After all this time, I can touch him again! Hold him! Feel him…

“Seungyoon-ah…” I want to ask him how he came to me here, but that doesn’t matter right now. I just want to relish the moment. I can say his name now because he’s here—it hurt to before because he wasn’t here, but now he is, so it doesn’t hurt anymore.

He rubs my back as I bury my face into his neck, smiling as I breathe him in. He smells so good…

Wait.

Seungyoon doesn’t smell like this.

Something’s off…

“Seungyoonie…?” I say, my voice small.

No answer. Instead, my reply is the feeling of him turning into sand.

Sand.

No, no, no!

“SEUNGYOON-AH!” I scream, sitting up and desperately trying to bring him back, to keep him from getting away, but he keeps slipping through my fingers…

Right through my fingers.

It’s useless.

“No…” I wail, weeping because I had him, I had him, but now he’s gone.

Just like that.

He’s gone…

Hyung!

I keep crying, ignoring the distant voice.

Hyung!

It got louder… how annoying. I don’t care. I’m in mourning…

HYUNG!

…Huh?

“Taehyun-hyung!!”

I feel a light… what’s going on? …What happened to Seungyoon…? I can’t feel the sand anymore, I can’t feel him anymore, where did he—

“Hyung…”

…Oh.

I’m sleeping.

But I’m starting to wake up.

I open my eyes, heart pounding and sweat on my forehead. Instantly I feel tears slide down my cheeks. I sit up, staring at the person who’s been shaking me all this time. It’s Bobby.

He sits down on the edge of the bed, eyes worried as he brushes my hair out of my face and wipes my tears with his sleeve. “Calm down, hyung,” he said softly. “It wasn’t real.”

My lip trembles. But it felt real… So real… I could’ve sworn it was…

I break down and latch onto Bobby, crying into his shoulder. He immediately hugs me back, trying his best to calm me down. I don’t know how many more of these nightmares I can take… they get more and more realistic every time. I could feel Seungyoon’s warmth on my waist when he wrapped his arm around me… It’s getting scary. It gets scarier every time I wake up to come back to the harsh reality that he isn’t next to me at all.

He’s far away from me…

And I can’t go back.

I sniffle before I pull away from him, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie. It’s then that I look past him and see my manager in the doorway, looking uncomfortable yet relieved at the same time.

Wait… my manager? As in Winner’s manager? Why is he here?

Bobby must have seen the confusion in my face because he turns my head to look back at him.

“You’re going now, hyung.”

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I still don’t understand… this all happened so fast, I’m scared it’s another dream. This is too good to be true. How did this happen…?

I was confused and kept asking why and how, but they didn’t pay me much attention. My manager just said, “President Yang changed his mind.”

I can’t believe it. But… I’ve never been in a car, supposedly on my way to the Winner dorm, in any of my dreams before. Maybe it’s real this time… but we’ll see.

The other members got up and helped me move my things after Bobby explained to them what was happening. It wasn’t too difficult… all of my stuff was in the same place it was when I came here. They loaded it into the car while I just stood by, numb and disbelieving. Can you blame me…? I thought I’d never leave this place, but now… I don’t know. I’m still scared to believe. After all of my things were loaded, they all hugged me goodbye. It makes no sense, but I cried. I think maybe they were happy tears… I’m happy that they took such good care of me and supported me when they could have just turned their backs on me. Whether this is real or not, I’m grateful to them. I love them and wish that the circumstances were different so our time together could have been more like when we were all trainees together. I waved goodbye to them from the backseat of the van as they all stood outside in their pajamas, waving back as my manager drove away.

Now, I sit anxiously as we drive, tugging at my sweatpants that are more like yoga pants with how tight they are. Despite myself, I’m getting excited. As my manager talks to me excitedly, I barely listen as I wonder… Maybe it’s not a dream after all…? I can see the familiar building in the distance, and my heart beats faster.

The manager told me that they’re all probably sleeping since none of them answered his texts. As we got out, he asked me, “Should we wake them?”

I look up at the night sky and shake my head. It’s late… let them sleep. They can see me tomorrow…

Except Seungyoon.

I lose my breath just at the thought of him… of seeing him. Maybe he’ll feel me get in bed with him? …If he doesn’t, I guess I can leave him be. I don’t think I’d have the heart to wake him. I’ll just look at him fondly, basking in the feeling of being next to him again.

As we ride the elevator with all of my bags, I feel anticipation swell inside of me. I’m nervous as hell. I don’t know why. Maybe nervous isn’t the right word…

All thought stops when the manager opens the door. I take a moment to breathe in, loving the familiar smell.

Home.

I missed it.

He just chuckles and nudges me inside, and we quietly move through the living room and head for Seungyoon’s room to deposit my things. My body shakes in excitement. I’m going to see him again…

Oh, I can’t breathe.

Oh god, he’s opening the door…

He’s going in…

He’s turning on the light…

…

“Hm. He’s not here.”

What…?

I shove past him to see for myself. Indeed, the bed is empty, still neatly made up from this morning.

“Wh-Where is he…?” I ask, barely managing to keep my voice to a whisper as the panic rises within me. It’s another dream it’s another dream it’s another dream it’s—

“I don’t know,” the hyung says, shrugging. He moves in further and sets my bags down. “Although I can’t say I approve of him being out late again, I’m sure he’ll be back. He always comes back.”

Except for that time he didn’t, I think bitterly.

He pats me on my arm. “Hey. Welcome back.”

At this, I smile a little and return the embrace when he hugs me. As we pull apart, he reaches in his pocket for something. “Hold out your hand,” he says. I do as I’m told. A few seconds later, something cold and hard is placed onto my palm.

My phone.

“There you go,” he says with a smile. “See you later.” He pats my arm one more time before he lets himself out. I hear the door shut and turn back to stare at the room, looking the same way that I left it (minus my stuff, of course).

I close the door so no one else will notice the light on in here and slowly walk to the bed, sitting down on it gingerly as I stare at the phone in my hand. I push my hair back behind my ear and run a finger carefully over the smooth surface. Then I turn the phone on, its familiar glow casting a light over my face. After it boots up, I unlock it and am greeted with the picture I took that night at the hotel. Tears immediately spill over—happy tears. I raise a hand to cover my mouth as I smile, a tiny sob escaping my lips as I look at the picture. It’s my first time seeing him at all since I was taken that day.

After I’ve had enough of staring at the photo, I lock my phone and look around the room again, sighing. He’s really not here… but at least I know he’s awake.

That sets my heart all aflutter.

He’s awake… and he’ll see me when he comes back.

There’s no way in hell I’m going back to sleep… I’m wide awake with excitement and anticipation. I can’t wait… I’m like a kid waiting for Christmas Day to arrive. I spot my headphones on the nightstand and grab them. I plug them into my phone and queue up some music. As I lie down, I reach down the front of my hoodie and pull out the necklace Seungyoon gave to me for my birthday. I’d clutched it all this time that I was away, as it served as a reminder of him and his love for me. Just like the other nights this past week, I squeeze the key tightly in my hand, kissing it as I curl in on myself and settle down to wait for Seungyoon to come back home… to come back to me. Chuckling to myself softly, I change the song to 2NE1’s newest hit and hum along quietly.

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Seungyoon’s POV

I’m not ready to let go.

I realize this as I swing on the swing set. I’m at the playground that holds so much meaning to Taehyun and me. It reminds me of him, so I ended up wandering here.

I look at my watch and see what time it is. Super late…. I should get back. I reach in my pocket and take out my phone. Especially since apparently my phone has died… Glumly, I drag my feet on the ground to slow down the swing and get up, slowly trudging back to the reality that I used to think was impossible.

There’s got to be another way… I’ll think of something. This can’t be the end. I’ll chase after him forever. As I mull over other possible ways to get Taehyun back, I finger the padlock dangling on my necklace. It was the only thing left of him after they took all of his stuff…

I enter the dorm and get this weird feeling, like the air has changed or something. I shrug it off and head directly to the kitchen. I grab a random mug out of the cupboard and fill it up with water, feeling how tired I am and ready to go to sleep. I take a sip as I shuffle to my room. Maybe I’ll dream of a new plan…

As I approach the hallway, I freeze.

The light is on in my room.

I put a hand over my heart, feeling how hard it’s pounding over the scare I just got (my first thought was a burglar, but that’s beyond ridiculous). I must have left it on when I went out. Though I could have sworn I turned it off…

Shrugging, I continue on to my room.

And promptly drop the mug when I open the door.

Oh

My

God.

I know my eyes are wide right now.

I can’t believe my eyes.

I can’t.

It’s an illusion.

A sick trick of the eye.

What the hell was in that water I just drank….?

Taehyun is here. On my bed. Taehyun is there.

Taehyun is there.

Taehyun is THERE.

There’s no mistaking it. At the sound of the glass shattering, he’d yanked the headphones out of his ears and looked up at me.

He’s here…

Tears spill down my cheeks.

My baby is here…

How…? When…? I thought… I thought it didn’t work…?

I mentally shake the thoughts away; they’re distracting me from the present, in which Taehyun is sitting on my bed, curled up in black pants, an oversized hoodie, chocolate brown hair a mess and beautiful eyes wide.

It even smells different in here… it smells like him. He’s here.

Taehyun is back.

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Taehyun’s POV

I’m listening to a Crush song with my eyes closed, probably resembling a cat with the way I’m curled up when I suddenly hear a loud crash. Startled, I yank my headphones out and look up only to see him.

My beloved.

Seungyoon.

He’s back.

His eyes are wide, and I can see tears running down his face—I’m sure I have some of my own on my face, too.

He’s as beautiful as ever… God, I missed him so much…

I slowly uncurled myself and stepped off the bed, neither of us moving our eyes from each other. I carelessly tossed my phone back onto the bed, the music still playing. This moment… I’ve been waiting for it all this time, and now it’s finally here.

Before I can even take a step forward, he’s on me. He slams into me so hard I almost fall back onto the bed, but he’s holding me so tight that I don’t go anywhere. My arms are immediately glued to him, and I’m feeling his back, his neck, his hair…

I can feel him… it’s not a dream.

I’m really here… he’s really here.

I try to move back because I want to look at him, but he refuses to release me even a little bit. I just put my face back in his neck and cry some more.

When he says my name, I lose it. I missed the sound of his voice… I feel it rumble through me, and my knees give. It didn’t matter much because he just sank to the ground with me so we were kneeling on the floor, crying and hugging.

“Yes, baby… I’m here,” I manage to say, turning my head slightly to press a kiss to his neck. I feel him run his fingers through my hair and his hold on me loosens, so I lean back and finally look at him. His face is red, wet, and scrunched up because he’s ugly-crying, but he’s still beautiful to me and hell, I’m ugly-crying, so it’s okay. “And you’re here, too,” I whisper, moving my hands up to cup his cheeks. He just squeezes his eyes shut and brings me closer so he can lean his forehead against mine.

Out of all this, I hear another voice. “Seungyoon, what—HOLY , GUYS! GUYS, GET UP!! TAEHYUN’S BACK!!!” The voice is screaming, but I just laugh through my tears and Seungyoon does, too. My god, his laugh…

And all at once, I feel three other bodies crash into us, and we all share the moment together. They’re fussing over me and we’re all a crying, blubbering mess, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I missed them… I missed my family… I’ll never leave them again. I won’t let it happen.

I love them so much, and now I’m finally back. “Guys…” I whimper, trying to look around at each of them though I can’t tell them apart, my eyes are so blurry. “Guys... I’m back.”

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How was that? :o I tried... lol. Next it's the epilogue, then the end :[